Cold gaze, like ice sparks,

It will affect the soul, leaving a mark.

A cold look. . . And you and I are strangers.

It's so weird to hear a blind no from you.

There will be no answer to my question,

Words hang in dead silence.

How pointless it all is, ridiculous. . .

You break my heart indifferently.

I do not understand how you can in a moment

So move away, dissolving in the sludge.

I want a hug. I want to go through the shadows,

Through pain and fear of approaching you.

The girl, for the umpteenth time during this long day, felt superfluous.

She made her way down the long corridor of the Hogwarts Express, not seeing anything around her. She had a strange feeling, as if all this was not happening to her. The reality was so terrible that the tortured brain refused to perceive it.

Narcissa had known Sirius for sixteen years, since childhood. In sixteen long years, the days of endless disputes, games, running around, common hobbies merged. And in just sixteen short minutes, everything collapsed. Remembering Sirius's eyes, the moment he went out to Lupin's call, the girl stopped and, turning to the window, pressed her forehead against the cold glass. How glad he was to see her! His eyes lit up, and all the happiness of this stupid world was reflected in them. And then…

Narcissa took a deep breath as she gazed at the landscape passing through the window. Open the window and step towards this serene greenery ... Green is the color of Hope. And just from this moment on, Narcissa has no one else to hope for - she has no one left. The sisters were married long ago and were busy with their own affairs. Yes, to admit, there has never been a particularly close relationship between them. Belinda McNeyer? Friend ... Narcissa smiled bitterly. A friend is the one who wants to tell everything, who will advise something, calm down, without making your problems public. With regard to Belinda, all of the above could be taken literally, by putting the particle "not" in front of each item. It turns out that she has no girlfriend. Previously, Sirius was nearby. Even many miles away, it is still nearby: in a dried cornflower he plucked in their favorite meadow by the lake, in his notorious photographs ... He took pictures very well. I tried to teach Narcissa too. She, of course, did it. What's so hard about that? But somehow it's not at all like Sirius's. He seemed to be looking at life itself through the camera lens. Narcissa had a whole collection of his works, which she secretly kept in her room because their communication was not welcomed by her family members. Narcissa loved these pictures very much. It was looking at them at the age of thirteen that she realized that she was very beautiful. She didn't see it so clearly in the mirror. At one time, the girl even suspected Sirius of imposing any enchantment on her image. And then she realized that the only charm was his affection for her. He just saw her so beautiful through his lens, and it made her dizzy. Sirius always looked at her with fondness, even if she did something not very good. Last year, when two sixth years from Ravenclaw got into a fight over the right to accompany her to the Christmas ball, she didn't even think about separating them. She wondered how it would end. Two grown guys are fighting over a fifteen-year-old girl! Then they were separated by Remus Lupine and Frank Longbottom, who happened to be nearby. Narcissa shrugged lightly at the condemnation in the Gryffindor gaze - she was only fifteen and didn't care.

In the evening, walking from dinner, Narcissa practically bumped into her brother. Sirius seemed to materialize out of thin air. She barely looked up at him, and a burning shame flooded her soul. As if from the side she saw this whole ugly scene.

"I'm sorry," she said simply.

Sirius didn't answer. He just stepped forward and hugged Narcissa to him. Leaning her head on his shoulder, she froze.

"Sorry," the girl repeated.

When he took a step back and looked into her face, she was relieved to see that he was not angry. It turned out to be very important for her. There was annoyance in his gaze, but there was no anger. She was always a negligent child for him, but he was never angry. There was always tenderness in his eyes. Is always. Until this day ...

The moment Narcissa shook her head and stepped towards Malfoy, something died in Sirius's gaze. There was deathly silence in the corridor, and in this very silence Sirius Black silently turned around and walked away. Narcissa looked after him longingly. When did he start slouching? She hadn't noticed it before. How could she know that he could barely stay on his feet, that the moment she stepped from him to Malfoy, the Atlanteans let go of the sky, and it collapsed on the shoulders of a sixteen-year-old teenager, only miraculously not crushing him. He can handle it. He will definitely cope, but it will take time. In the meantime, Sirius Black simply walked away along the corridor, getting further and further with each step, until the door of the next carriage hid his silhouette, ruthlessly stealing something from Narcissa's life.

The girl had expected something like this. He was, of course, shocked by the news. She assumed it would be difficult, but, through the efforts of Lucius Malfoy, things got worse than ever. Sirius's reaction might have seemed natural to some, but not to Narcissa. She knew him too well. Smashing half of the Hogwarts Express, rolling Lucius Malfoy's head, yelling at her - this is just a small list of what Sirius Black had to do now. He just turned around and left. And that was the worst thing. It was the beginning of the end.

Another participant in this ill-fated conversation stopped halfway to the stupid third carriage, where the heads were gathering, and, like Narcissa, leaned his forehead against the cold glass and squeezed the window frame painfully. Lucius Malfoy didn't know what was happening to him. It seemed that he should have rejoiced: the hated Narcissa and her brother got what they deserved, his triumph was seen by two dozen students. Only joy did not come. Rather, on the contrary, my soul became even worse. Although earlier it seemed that this was simply impossible.

"Heck!" the guy in a rage banged his fist on the innocent frame. I wanted to disappear, dissolve, disappear, so as not to see anyone. The whole question is where? Now the performance, which he started half an hour ago, did not seem like a very good idea. In addition, his memory stubbornly returned to the stage on the platform again and again.

"Heck!"

Pushing himself hard against the glass, Lucius headed for the third car. It seemed like he started his way there forever ago. When he finally reached the place, Lucius found that Alice Jolie, the head of Gryffindor, was standing next to the door of one of the compartments allocated for the prefects. The Gryffindor heads were sixth years, while everyone else was seventh years. Lucius didn't know what it was about. It didn't interest him. Next to Alice was her eternal companion Frank Longbottom, a seventh-year student of Gryffindor. Frankly, Lucius did not understand Frank at all: Alice was, not to say that she was ugly, just somehow completely invisible, or something. She, of course, did not intersect in any way in the lessons with the course of Lucius, but traditionally Slytherin studied many subjects with Gryffindor, and Alice sometimes went into Frank's classroom. Lucius, in principle, did not pay much attention to her, but he got the impression that Jolie does not know how to talk. She was always silent and smiling. Perhaps some people like chubby smiling silent people with kind eyes, but she annoyed Lucius.

And now he was approaching the head of Gryffindor, and at the sight of her, the youth's mood did not improve at all. When he came closer, his morale in general jumped sharply down and froze at "below zero", because he saw another figure in the corridor. Frida Zabini stared at the landscape running through the window as if she saw there something accessible only to her.

Lucius stopped and froze, absorbing her image in every cell: long brown hair was braided in a braid thrown over his shoulder, it shimmered in the rays of the summer sun. Lucius looked spellbound. For a moment he even forgot about the incident on the platform. There was she. They brought her unnaturally straight back and tense shoulders back to reality. Lucius realized that he hadn't expected to see him so soon. He was not ready for her: he did not know how to accept this situation and live with the fact that she is now the past. He felt unwell.

And then Alice Jolie spoke up. If Lucius were in a different state, he would have been surprised that she still knows how to make sounds, but now he just wearily looked away from the beautiful image and looked at the head of Gryffindor. That, of course, the role of Frida in this whole story was not known, Alice had in mind only Lucius's conversation with her classmate:

"You know, Malfoy," Alice said in a low voice, "sometimes you don't have to be so cruel to convey your opinion to people. It may surprise you, but people understand good treatment too. And they appreciate it."

So much for Jolie! It occurred to her to teach him?! Lucius took a deep breath to tell this damn Gryffindor what he thought about herself, about the value of her opinion and ... And his gaze fell on the Ravenclaw girl. She did not turn around, did not show in any way that she was listening to the conversation, but Lucius realized that Frida was waiting for his answer. He turned back to Jolie and was amazed: quiet, meek, slightly awkward Alice looked at him without any fear or awkwardness. Her gray eyes were completely calm. Lucius was surprised to find that, hitting the target of those calm eyes, felt his stomach tighten unpleasantly and pull in his chest. Incredibly, it was the plump and smiling head of Gryffindor, who was looking into his soul now, that made him feel ashamed for the first time. Alice took Frank's hand, and the moment shattered. Again she didn't say a word, but only pulled him down the hall with a soft smile. Frank obediently followed the girl, giving Malfoy a hard look at the end. Looking at their receding backs, Lucius Malfoy even thought that talking Alice Jolie was just dreaming of him. How could he know that in communicating with Frank she did not need words, because they understood each other from a half-glance. Alice spoke little, but always so that they remembered about it for a long time.

Malfoy sighed and turned to the Ravenclaw headman.

"Frida," he began and fell silent, because the girl did not react in any way. She was still staring out the window. Lucius wanted to unfold her and shake her. He, after all, was a victim, no less than she was. It is he who will have to marry Narcissa, live with her until the end of his life, have endless mistresses and in each look for the features of this girl, who is now constantly looking out the window. The anger passed as quickly as it appeared.

"Frida," Lucius made a second attempt, stepping forward, "it's all a misunderstanding, a stupid mistake, an accident ..."

He spoke quickly, as if afraid that the girl would melt into air or seep through the window glass towards the landscape that interested her so much. Frida turned around and a smile appeared on her lips. Lucius thought he flew up at the sight of the dimple on her left cheek. She smiled! So everything will be fine. She will understand! Forgive! Relieved, Lucius stepped forward to meet her smile. Hug, hug her, smell her hair ... The words stopped his impulse:

"Dear Lucius, something that can be corrected is called a misunderstanding and an accident. What can you do? Turn me into the blonde great-great-granddaughter of the famous Veila and lead me to the altar, and drown the real Narcissa in the lake? Or are you ready to go against your father, renouncing inheritance, titles, estates?"

Lucius froze. She said all this with the same smile. And Lucius finally saw that smile. If it were not for the dimple on his left cheek that he loved so much, which distracted his attention, he would have immediately noticed how harsh and unkind this smile was. She punished him, cut him alive. Not reaching the girl a few centimeters, he turned around and quickly walked in the direction from which he came.

Anger bubbled in my soul. She's scoffing! She's just scoffing. Okay! She will still find out! With these thoughts, Lucius furiously threw open the doors of every compartment and looked inside. The students shied away from surprise or from his gaze. Finally he came across an empty compartment. Fifth-year Hufflepuff doesn't count. He didn't know what he was going to do, but, looking at the frightened girl who pressed the open "Derivatives of Sympathetic Potions" to her lips, quickly made a decision. Lucius slammed the compartment door, put a colloportus on it, and turned to the girl. He saw frightened eyes in half of the face.

"Hi, I'm Lucius Malfoy."

"Hi," the girl babbled, "I know. And I…"

"Not! Lucius stopped her. "I don't want to know your name."

He sat down on the seat next to a girl who didn't understand anything. There is still a couple of hours before Hogwarts - there is time.

"What are you reading?"

He took the book from the girl's hands, glanced briefly, and put it aside. He looked at her face again. She was cute.

"I myself can retell this book to you by heart," Lucius smiled, and the girl melted.

He knew how charming it could be - ten minutes of attack with innate charm, and the girl relaxed. There was a clearly readable delight in her eyes. Lucius Malfoy himself drew attention to her - an inconspicuous representative of an inconspicuous Hufflepuff. Correctly interpreting the girl's gaze, Lucius ran his hand over her cheek. The girl's eyes widened, not from fear, but rather from anticipation of what was about to happen. Touching her lips with a finger, Lucius smiled slightly. He did not understand why he was doing this. That is, he could not give an objective explanation for his action. Why the hell did this Hufflepuff give in to him? Reason was silent, but insult screamed. I don't care who she is: Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw ... He doesn't care. He proved to his offended pride that he could be liked by girls, that Zabini would still regret his decision, and that Narcissa would still suffer. The desire for revenge clouded the mind. He will give this girl something that she will remember for the rest of her life, and the girl will give him self-confidence. Lucius knew how to be gentle if he wanted to.

How could he have known that in half an hour, when everything was over, he, cursing to himself, would erase the memory of a girl who was not thinking of happiness and, without even explaining his presence in her compartment, would go out into the corridor. He did not know that after the lightness in the body, an intolerable heaviness in the soul would appear. It seemed to him that he was punishing Frida, Narcissa, Sirius Black ... It turned out that he was punishing himself. My heart was sickening and disgusting. I didn't want to see anyone.

He'll stay in the hallway all the way to Hogwarts. And no one will dare to touch him, rightly judging that there is now nothing human under this aristocratic shell. It was a cornered beast. He was dangerous, and above all, as it turned out, for himself. The tired youth looked out the window, trying not to see his own reflection. Now, for some reason, it was nauseous.

It seemed that the world just froze.