I weep for former happiness
With tears that have not been shed,
Unspent, burning passion
With an unloved man in my bed
I weep a lonely pain
The one I never knew before.
I weep for a murdered love
And hope torn to shreds
I cry a sleepless prayer
In the emptiness of a half-darkened hall.
Life, when shall we be even?!
Is this not enough?
Everything was decided, but the heavy stone was in no hurry to leave her heart.
He left. He just left ...
Sirius Black jumped out of the corner. Everything inside him was bubbling. Just a minute ago, she was in his arms. He could smell her hair, the warmth of her body, light breath. Heck! In a rage, he ran both hands through his hair and stopped abruptly. Why did he leave? So what, what did Lily say. Let be. She was there ... Her gentle fingers touched his cheek. How much time is wasted? I have to go back, and to hell with him, with Lucius, and with the rattling armor. She said she didn't want to? Nonsense! She just tries to distance herself because she thinks nothing can be changed. Hell no! He is here and he will change everything. Nonsense that says Lily, to hell with Lupine with his advice.
Sirius dropped his arms abruptly and was about to run back when his eyes were attracted by the armor that was supposed to stand in this part of the corridor. Now they were scattered about on the stone floor. It means that this roar was from them. Strange ... Usually, the armor does not fall by itself.
"Peeves?" Sirius called out loudly.
"It's not Peeves, Black."
A tall figure separated from the gloom of the wall.
Sirius raised his head to meet the gaze of the Slytherin hunter. It was in this incarnation that he knew Fred Zabini. For there was no other force other than Quidditch capable of bringing together students of different courses from different faculties. Sirius knew little about him. Perhaps only that Fred was a classmate of Lucius and a cool player. A little tough, in Sirius's opinion, but he himself was not particularly soft in the game. So ... Perhaps that's all. Oh yes! Fred also had a twin sister, the headman of Ravenclaw, with such an interesting name ... Sirius really didn't remember him. Knowledge was not great, and now the young man wondered why Zabini had called out to him.
Sirius raised an eyebrow inquiringly.
"We need to talk," Zabini said confidently.
Something in his voice made the Gryffindor think that the conversation was unlikely to be pleasant. Well, not Snape, but still a Slytherin. Sirius was seized with a pleasant foreboding of turmoil. He was angry with the whole world. Narcissa's confusion and her reluctance to change something hurt her soul. Sirius was not embarrassed by the fact that Zabini was older and clearly larger. He was never embarrassed by such trifles. Therefore, he just cheekily threw up his head and said:
"Lets talk."
Zabini nodded towards Flitwick's half-open office.
"You dont mind?"
"No," the Gryffindor replied indifferently. He really didn't care where to get involved in the fight that his soul so asked.
Zabini opened the door and disappeared inside. Sirius followed. He didn't even have the idea that there might be half of the faculty in green uniform. Now he was knee-deep in the sea.
The office was empty. Zabini walked along the desks and sat down on Flitwick's table.
Sirius stepped closer and sat down on the opposite desk.
"Well?"
"Believe it or not, I saw a very funny thing five minutes ago," Fred Zabini began in a confidential tone. "In the next hallway, a Gryffindor was hugging Lucius Malfoy's fiancée."
Sirius ignored the attack. He waited for the continuation. Zabini paused and continued.
"Do you know what that could mean?"
"What's the matter with you?" Sirius challenged him.
"Black, you misunderstood something, apparently. I will ask questions here, and I strongly advise you not to be daring."
"Where did you get the idea that you have the right to ask questions and advise something?" Sirius asked in a dangerous voice.
"Since I'm the only one who has seen this scene so far, except for this one, like her ... Well, she walks with Potter all the time. But she's unlikely to tell anyone. And I, for example, can share the observation with Lucius."
"Go ahead. I'm not afraid of Lucius Malfoy. I will have a great pleasure to 'talk' with him."
"Eh," Fred Zabini sighed with mock sympathy, "and for some reason I thought you were smarter, Black. Doesn't it come to your Gryffindor head that you might be able to stand up for yourself, but Narcissa ... "
"What is Narcissa?" alerted Black
"You know," Zabini said confidentially, "I have known Lucius for several years. From the outside, he gives the impression of a not very pleasant and often cruel person. So, I will tell you a secret, this impression is absolutely correct. Narcissa through your fault can get a very nasty situation. Lucius is unlikely to forgive his fiancée for cheating. "
"She is not yet his bride," Sirius said through clenched teeth, "and if I find out that even a hair will fall from Narcissa's head ..."
"Yes? And what are you going to do? Although first you need to think, how will you find out? Lucius is unlikely to encourage your communication at Hogwarts. As for the moment when she moves to the Estate ... Then you will only have to contemplate her childhood pictures . "
Sirius jumped off the desk.
"What do you want?"
This senseless conversation began to irritate him. And especially - Zabini's correctness. Sirius is really unlikely to be able to help Narcissa, being far away.
"I want you to leave Narcissa Black alone and not under any pretext come more than ten feet to her. No private communication, no hugs, Merlin forbid. Am I making myself clear?" Zabini also jumped off the desk and stepped towards Sirius.
"You're a little too insistent for an uninterested person," Sirius said, "it looks like Malfoy needs to be wary of you too ..."
"I'm not going to explain to you the motives of my actions. I just bring to your attention that if I see you next to Narcissa, she will be very bad. There is no need to turn her life into hell. She is such a sweet and charming girl, don't do her worse."
"I'll kill Malfoy if he hurts her," Sirius promised stubbornly.
"Black," Zabini raised his voice, "I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Don't be an idiot! Today I won't say anything, but there will be days. And… I warned you. Narcissa is not the type to run to complain. So you obviously you doom her. "
With these words, Zabini left the office, leaving Sirius Black to be torn apart by all the demons of this world. The young man slammed his fist into the lid of the desk. Once, twice. Blood appeared on the polished surface. Sirius ignored her. He cursed the day Lucius Malfoy was born. What to do?
Zabini is right. There is nothing Sirius can do to help Narcissa. She will be left all alone with this monster. And damn it, she really won't complain. One way out: leave her alone. Do not see, do not hear, do not think. How easy it is to say ... Sirius closed his eyes wearily. She doesn't want to change anything ... But it turns out that he cannot. Dead end! Sirius looked down at his shattered knuckles. The blood was the color of the Gryffindor flag. Sirius was angered by this association. He pushed off sharply from the desk and ran out of Flitwick's office. Instead of going in search of Narcissa, he rushed towards the Gryffindor Tower. He himself did not know what he wanted now. Support? Council?
Narcissa Black continued to stare out the snow-covered window.
"Leave Sirius alone ... Help him, don't call after you ..." Lupin's voice echoed in his head. Narcissa closed her eyes and pressed her palms to her ears. The voice continued to ring. Only now it belonged to Lily Evans: "At Christmas she will become the official bride of Lucius Malfoy!" The phrase burst the eardrums. Narcissa turned away from the window and slowly slid down the wall, squatting down. Voices in my head buzzed, instructed, advised.
Narcissa sat down exhausted on the floor and buried her forehead on her knees. Not! There were no tears. There was a bitter confidence in my choice. Sirius wanted to change everything ... Ridiculous. There was a strong understanding that nothing would change. The girl took her palms away from her head and hugged her knees. How long did she sit like that?
"Hello," the voice made her flinch.
Fred Zabini sat down opposite her. Narcissa looked at him in surprise and straightened up. They had little overlap before. He was a friend of Lucius and the brother of Frida Zabini. Narcissa knew nothing more about him. They barely exchanged a word in the common living room during five and a half years of study. Once he invited her to a Christmas ball. But then Sirius was in the hospital wing with a terrible, incomprehensibly received wound to the shoulder. So he returned after a night walk. Therefore, Narcissa was not up to the holiday, and she politely but firmly refused. It was a year ago. They did not communicate anymore. If Frida also played with her in childhood, then Fred Narcissa did not remember at all. But now he sat down opposite and looked inquisitively at her face.
"Are you okay?" he asked without waiting for an answer.
"Yes, in full," Narcissa got up from the floor and turned to the windowsill for her backpack.
"Narcissa, I saw you with Sirius," came from behind her.
There was a noise in her head, and her heart skipped a couple of beats, but the girl just shrugged her shoulders indifferently and turned to face him.
"AND?"
He was struck by her calmness. It was impossible to tell from her face that she was scared, confused. Not! A direct gaze met him.
"I won't tell Lucius anything," Zabini said.
Narcissa shrugged.
"Then why are you telling me this?"
"Narcissa, do you really care? Do you understand what Lucius will do if he finds out? I won't tell him ... yet."
"Yes? And what do you ask for your service?" Narcissa's voice was like needles of ice.
Fred was confused and then realized what Narcissa meant. Naturally, it's so unlike a Slytherin doing charity work without asking for anything in return. He chuckled:
"I will ask," he paused effectively, but without waiting for a response, continued, "so you don't meet Sirius Black."
Narcissa's eyes widened. She was expecting an offer to spend the evening together in exchange for silence or something else from this series. And here it is!
"I don't understand," the girl said, "why do you need this?"
"Narcissa, Lucius is a difficult person. I just don't want you to get in trouble. I like you if that makes sense to you. Besides, I don't think you want to harm Black."
"And what does this have to do with it?"
"Even though Lucius will mix it with earth if he finds out that Black has touched his fiancee."
"I am not his property yet!" Narcissa challenged her.
"Already yes. Only, unfortunately, until you understand it. Think about the danger that you expose yourself and Black."
Fred turned to leave.
"Doesn't Frida love him?" Narcissa said, looking at his back.
Fred turned sharply.
"How do you know?"
"I'm not blind, Fred!"
"Yeah. Don't worry about it. Frida will never be his mistress. This story will soon be over."
"Are you so sure she won't love him?"
He smiled bitterly and reminded him surprisingly of his sister. The same dark hair, the same facial features. Only Fred's eyes were dark brown. Narcissa chuckled too.
"My sister has a very funny taste, don't you think?"
"You are not very flattering about a young man in front of his fiancée," Narcissa smiled.
"Well no!" he smiled too. "I treat him well, but I feel sorry for you. Frida, because she chose, and you ... The choice fell on you not too well. Right?"
Narcissa sighed.
"No, Fred. It's okay. I'm not complaining. Really. Frida is much worse."
He nodded.
"I won't tell Lucius anyway."
"Thank."
"But I'm serious about Sirius. You don't have to play with fire."
"I won't," Narcissa promised.
Fred smiled and was about to leave, but then looked around, as if remembering something. He looked closely at Narcissa from head to toe and suddenly asked:
"Do you play chess?"
"That's right," Narcissa said, confused. "Not particularly good."
"Want me to teach you?"
Narcissa looked around and nodded decisively. Together they walked towards the Slytherin living room. It was weird. It was correct. And what happened in the corridor half an hour ago was wrong from the first to the last word and gesture. Narcissa understood this. But the stupid soul did not want to put up with it in any way. But she should. She cannot endanger Sirius. Fred is right. Lucius is a terrible person. You can expect anything from him.
And the terrible man slowly left the hospital wing. He walked slowly, listening to the sound of his footsteps echoing off the stone walls of the deserted corridor. It was a strange sensation. Nothing could be changed, but something was latently sharpening from within, as if to say: "You could! You could! Everything was in your power! You don't have to be such a weakling. " Lucius stopped. He didn't want to admit to himself that it was too late to realize the gravity of the situation. A week later, there will be a Christmas ball at Hogwarts. And after that he will go home. This bloody engagement is taking place at the Black estate. Lucius chuckled. There are two ways out: accept or fight. No matter how painful it was to realize, the first one is closer to him. The young man shoved his hands into his pockets and headed towards the Slytherin living room.
Entering the living room, the first thing he did was see a strange picture. At the far end of the room, an interesting couple sat in front of the fireplace. Narcissa Black, cheek propped on her hand, studied the chessboard intently. Opposite, Fred sat on the floor, looking pleased. Without even looking at the board, Lucius realized that Fred was winning. You don't need to be seven inches in the forehead to draw such a conclusion. It's just that Fred won against everyone, even against Lucius himself, who is well versed in the intricacies of this old game. Lucius walked slowly towards the players, absently nodding to some of the students along the way. He really hoped they weren't playing strip. Fred had this habit of playing against girls. Lucius clearly understood that he would not share Narcissa with anyone, even mentally. Fate decreed. Narcissa is his now. His gaze lingered at her tensely bowed head. As if sensing his gaze, the girl raised her head:
"Hi. Have you already been discharged?"
Lucius nodded and sat down next to her on the sofa. She pulled back a little, and he didn't like it. He looked at the board.
"Your situation is hopeless," he told the girl authoritatively, assessing the placement of the figures.
Narcissa remained silent as she continued to study the chessboard. His phrase sounded too much for the situation.
There was a tense silence. A moment later, Fred's cheerful voice interrupted her.
"Lucius is right," he smiled cheerfully and turned to his classmate, "your fiancee has stubbornly refused to admit defeat for ten minutes already."
"Stupid," Lucius shrugged. With his right hand, he embraced the girl by the waist with his right hand, which made her tense like a string. "Not in time to admit defeat and not accept - only to delay the agony. Have you thought about that, dear?"
He looked into the girl's face.
"No, I'll have to think at my leisure," Narcissa looked into his eyes, and made another move.
"Checkmate."
Fred Zabini immediately responded and added:
"Thanks for playing. It happens."
Narcissa smiled and looked at Lucius, who was still hugging her. Something in his eyes alerted the girl. And for sure. Lucius got up from the couch, pulling the girl with him.
"Let's go?"
"Where?" Narcissa asked breathlessly.
"To me, of course."
Narcissa froze and felt dozens of eyes burning her back with her skin. The living room froze watching this scene. And what was to be done? Break out, try to argue? The girl allowed herself to be led away. For some reason, the low staircase leading to the headman's room seemed to her an endless way to the scaffold. Narcissa didn't know what to expect. She was very uneasy. All previous communication with Lucius Malfoy suggested that whatever he suggested, she was unlikely to like it.
Lucius chanted and flung open the door, letting the girl forward. With a heavy heart, Narcissa stepped into the room and looked around. Lucius's room was in perfect order. Even some kind of lifeless, according to Narcissa. She immediately remembered Sirius's room and almost grinned. For him, everything was always upside down. Moving around his room, he always risked tripping over something on the floor or blowing his head off with something hanging from the numerous shelves. Narcissa, I remember, was always angry with Sirius, and on rare visits to his monastery she tried to restore order there. And now ... She caught herself thinking that Lucius's perfectly tidy room was far less pleasing to her than the living mess of her precious brother. The door slammed behind her, forcing the girl to jump. Lucius chuckled.
"What are you scared of?"
"I wasn't scared. I just ... didn't expect."
Narcissa turned to Lucius and met his intent gaze.
"In a week you will be my bride," as if she could have forgotten about it!
Narcissa nodded.
"I was just thinking. I don't want to expose my family in an idiotic light, and neither do yours," he reached out and touched the girl's hair. Narcissa did her best not to recoil. "So after our engagement, I won't be dating any other girls at Hogwarts."
He slowly moved his fingers to her chin. The girl, without looking up, looked into those eyes. What could she do? Make a fuss and embarrass both families? Start to resist? Ha! Yes, she is half his size, and the magic wand remained in the backpack, which lies calmly on her bed.
"I hope you don't need to explain the obvious. For example, I expect obedience and respect from my wife. I believe your parents prepared you to do the right thing."
He lifted the girl's chin and gazed into her eyes:
"You are mine, Narcissa. And I won't let anyone even get close to you. Am I making myself clear?"
For a moment, Narcissa thought that Lucius somehow found out about what had happened. But no! For some reason it was thought that then the conversation would take place in a completely different vein. Now he just warned, so much so that not understanding was tantamount to suicide.
"I get it, Lucius," the girl tried to take a step back.
"Narcissa," there was a warning note in Lucius's voice.
"The engagement will only take place in a week," the girl said quietly.
Lucius released her chin and laughed.
"Why do you need this week, Narcissa? You're not going to have a final affair. Have pity on the guy," sparks of steel flashed in his eyes. Oh, how right Fred Zabini was.
"Of course not," the girl tried to smile, "I'm just asking this week. It doesn't matter to you, but I ... need to get used to it."
"Why, honey? You had three months ..."
"Lucius," Narcissa looked him straight in the eye, "I ask ..."
"Narcissa Black knows how to ask. This is news. I've never heard of this before."
He paused and began looking at the girl from head to toe. Deliberately slow and lazy. If she had a little less self-control, she would have fled screaming from this oppressive room. But no. The frightened sixteen-year-old girl did not even blush under the gaze of her executioner.
Lucius seemed to appreciate her self-control because he smiled.
"Okay, but keep in mind - next time it will not work. I will not fulfill all your requests and wishes. In the beginning, you must deserve it."
Narcissa nodded and nearly flew to the ceiling in relief. All these threats were something distant and so far unrealistic. And there was a week ahead, and Narcissa decided something for herself.
"In a week you will become my woman. Only mine! From Christmas you will be ordered even to glances and secret thoughts about any other man. Got it? I hope you prove yourself worthy of my name."
Narcissa nodded again. There was no strength to speak. Lucius turned away and headed for the writing table. Narcissa turned to the door and was about to open it, when suddenly:
"Are you far, honey?" such a sympathetic tone.
The girl looked around in confusion.
"Well, we just decided ..."
"Narcissa," Lucius headed toward her, "you still misunderstand something. I gave you a week, but that doesn't mean that everyone should see that something is wrong with us. rooms in five minutes. Are you kidding? Or do you want the whole living room to see how we quickly enjoyed each other's company? "
"Sorry," the girl said, "I didn't think."
"Mind you, Mrs. Malfoy will have to think through all the little things related to the image of the family."
Narcissa sighed and asked wearily:
"So what are we going to do?"
She asked and regretted it. Lucius will change his mind. As if reading her mind, he chuckled. The girl crept inwardly.
"Do you have an unfinished assignment?"
The question took me by surprise. Narcissa expected anything but worry about her homework.
"Essays on Potions," the girl replied hesitantly.
"Great," Malfoy said cheerfully. "Where do you have it?"
"In the backpack in the room, but the wand is there too."
"Accio, backpack," Lucius recited through the open window and a minute later deftly caught the small leather backpack.
"Here," he handed it to Narcissa, "you can take my desk."
"Thank."
Narcissa, in a state of mild shock from such a sudden transformation of a tyrant into a caring young man, dragged herself to the table. She automatically pushed the chair back, sat down on it and began to spread out the parchment with the unfinished essay, the book with which she was working, a bunch of feathers ...
Lucius, meanwhile, reported:
"I'm gonna take a shower."
He disappeared behind a door at the far end of the room. The elders had a separate bathroom with a swimming pool: comfortable, comfortable, only it was a long way to get to it. Therefore, most preferred to use the shower in the room. Lucius apparently belonged to the majority.
Narcissa stared blankly at the straight lines of the scribbled parchment. A week ... So few and so many. In seven days it will become the de facto property of Lucius Malfoy. Will belong to this haughty man. He made it clear that he would not meet with others, which means ... she will have to regularly play the role of the future wife. Nothing can be done about it. But you can do something else. After all, she always knew that a completely different person would become the first in something most important and most intimate. She decided to take a crazy step. She would never have thought of that if it hadn't been for Lucius's statement today. Narcissa smiled. A week. There is still time.
The bathroom door flew open, letting in puffs of steam and Lucius Malfoy with one towel on his hips. Narcissa once again thanked her composure, which did not allow her to blush. He really was amazingly built: tall, slender, muscular. Beautiful body, beautiful face, cruel soul. Paradox. Narcissa returned her attention to the parchment.
Lucius walked to the closet and, not in the least embarrassed, began to dress, tossing a towel on the bed. Narcissa didn't take her eyes off the sentence she had finished, until the squeak of springs signaled that Lucius had finished dressing and was sitting on the bed with a book in his hands.
"Come here," he called.
Narcissa looked up and saw that Lucius, dressed in a black T-shirt and matching trousers, was reclining on the bed and gesturing to the seat next to him.
The girl got up and approached. Lucius pulled back a little, offering to sit down. Narcissa sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Look, did you ever know that the love potion and the hate potion have a very similar composition."
"No, we haven't done that yet," Narcissa just now noticed that he was holding a Potions textbook.
"What do you think it says about?" Lucius asked.
"Probably that these feelings are very similar."
"Yes," Lucius looked somewhere into space, "it says here that resistance to these potions leads to the death of the body. So if you accidentally swallow, surrender to the will of the winner," he finished with a glance at the girl.
"I hope you're not going to test them on me?"
"Well, what are you! They enslave the will and reason, and I need a capable wife. And I said this more to the fact that these feelings themselves can kill."
"Do you love Frida?" Narcissa asked for some reason.
His gaze immediately became prickly.
"Narcissa, let's decide right away that if I want to share any thoughts with you, I'll tell you about it myself."
The girl shrugged and wanted to get up, but Lucius reached out and caught her pigtail. The gesture was surprisingly gentle. He carefully untied the green ribbon and braided the silvery hair. Narcissa froze, not knowing what to expect. Lucius took his time doing the same with the second pigtail. As the soft, silvery hair rippled over his shoulders, he looked up at Narcissa.
"This will make our privacy look more believable."
The girl nodded. He no longer held her, and she herself did not seek to sit so close. Narcissa quietly got up and returned to the table: to the unfinished essay and to the crazy plans that would take all her courage or recklessness to implement. Here's how to look.
The silence in the room was broken only by the quiet rustle of pages and the ticking of an antique clock on the mantel.