"Let's go and visit Kanda-Myojin," Hachiman told him. "Since it's not the festival period, it shouldn't be too crowded."
The Kanda Festival, held in May, is considered one of the three grandest festivals in Japan. However, Hachiman literally hated crowds, so not going during the festival benefited him.
"Kanda-Myojin, most excellent. I shall visit and pay my respects to my honorable senior warlord, Taira no Masakado," Zaimokuza boasted.
Famous for rebelling against the Kyoto government in 939, Taira no Masakado was deified by various people and became one of the deities enshrined in Kanda-Myojin.
Hachiman already knew Zaimokuza would get excited and wouldn't complain!
"Are you sure you're not excited about the shrine maidens?" Hachiman teased him. "Kanda Shrine gets visited a lot by idols, praying for luck and prosperity, and some even take jobs here."
Keeping up with the times, Shinto shrines aren't above capitalizing on ongoing trends, and idols are no exception. Many fans would often go there to stalk... er, pay respects to their favorite idols.
"KEH." Zaimokuza metaphorically coughed blood. "How dare you poison my innocent mind before we're even there, you demon filled with mind-filth!"
"Unfortunate for you, my mind is Zen as fuck!"
Indeed, attractive girls were in great abundance during holidays like this. It wasn't even hard to say it could have been a great dating site if you didn't make a fuss out of it.
Hachiman already regretted teasing Zaimokuza because they clearly attracted some attention in their own right. If not for his experience hanging out with top national idols, Hachiman could have melted under all those needless stares.
"Is it me, or are we unwelcome here?" Zaimokuza innocently asked.
This idiot really had no awareness.
Hachiman had no qualms admitting that he knew he was physically attractive, but this was a whole other level of attention. Perhaps it was because the equally charming (gah) Zaimokuza was there.
And unlike Hachiman, Zaimokuza visibly looked like an otaku. And a handsome otaku was not something commonly encountered anywhere. He was even more out of place being in Akihabara.
In fact, many otakus would talk trash if they saw one online, claiming, "Hot guys should be banned from watching anime!"
"You're cursed, dude!" Hachiman told him.
"All the more reason we need our souls purified!" Zaimokuza freaked out. "Let's just ask that nice-looking lady over there!"
"Excuse me, Onee-chan over there!"
"Yes?" The teenage shrine maiden responded to him with a calm smile.
"Do you know where we can buy some charms and wards?"
"Oh yes, of course. I'll take you over there." The maiden walked closer to Zaimokuza, which startled the poor guy and made him fall.
She leaned over him and pursed her lips. "Personal service, so please don't tell anyone~!"
It looked like Zaimokuza really was cursed that day. The guy immediately stood and hid behind Hachiman.
"Shit, she was obviously possessed!" he told Hachiman as soon as he caught up.
"No. It's just that hot otaku guys are protected species over here." Hachiman snorted. "I'm fine because I don't look like one."
"I don't want to hear that from someone dressed like a Final Fantasy character!" Zaimokuza protested.
"I don't have enough belts or zippers to be called that. Apologize to Nomura-san!" Hachiman retorted.
If this had been Harajuku, no one would have batted an eye at him because Zaimokuza always dressed like an isekai reject. But here in Akihabara? It should have been his personal haven. Alas, this guy was too shy and wouldn't capitalize on it if his life depended on it.
"Please follow me."
Hachiman and Zaimokuza followed her until they reached the place where the shrine sold all sorts of charms. And by that, other than the traditional and historical selections, some were anime-themed, some were technological, and others were idol-themed.
"Oho! So many selections! I'm buying them all!"
"How about no."
"Hmm, is that Hikigaya-san?"
Hachiman looked aside to find some familiar faces from 346 as well.
"Are you guys working even though it's Golden Week?" Hachiman asked them.
"Umm, it's because it's Golden Week, so the shrine will be busy," the klutzy-looking miko replied as she hurriedly patted the leaves off her clothes. Had she fallen somewhere? "Are you visiting the shrine to pray?"
"Yeah, but might as well buy some charms first." Hachiman smiled. "Anyway, this is my friend from Chiba. His name is Zaimokuza Yoshiteru."
"Yoshiteru?! As in Ashikaga Yoshiteru?!" The girl with ninja gear asked with starry eyes.
Zaimokuza's awkward shyness suddenly disappeared as he struck a pose. "That's right! My name is Zaimokuza Yoshiteru! Kneel before me!"
Ah shit. Here we go again.
"Dare to tell me to kneel?!" The petite girl in a kimono pointed her shinai. "Do you come here to ask for a protection fee?"
"How dare you accuse me of such? This honorable me doesn't take money from anyone but my own subjects!" Zaimokuza pointed his prop sword in response, which looked like a block of wood but was actually indestructible nerf foam.
And so they proceeded with their intense 'sword duel' in the background as Hachiman decided to talk with the less crazy idols instead. The fight, of course, attracted a lot of bystanders, especially with how skilled both of them were.
Three minutes later, they stopped.
"Kuh. I'd never have known I could find such a worthy opponent as you!" Zaimokuza gritted his teeth, pretending he was injured. "I can only admit my loss!"
"No way, I didn't even hit you once! How could it be that you're the one losing?!" the opponent shouted. "And I was going all out!"
"Are you two done? Don't cause a riot on the sacred temple grounds, you idiots." Hachiman slapped them on the back of their heads.
"MY APOLOGIES!" They bowed to everyone around who had stood up, watching it all unfold, including the shrine staff.
"Now that that's settled, let me introduce them. This is Domyoji Karin, Wakiyama Tamami, and Hamaguchi Ayame. They're part of [Harugasumi] of the 4th Division with traditional Japanese themes."
"Nice to meet you." The three girls bowed formally.
"The honor is mine!" Zaimokuza also bowed back.
"Alright, let's pick some charms before we proceed to the main hall to pray."
It was best not to be greedy, so Hachiman decided to pick two of them. He put aside esoteric options like warlord charms or business charms. He didn't need them.
Hachiman decided to double up and buy illness-recovery and sound-body charms. After all, his health was his biggest concern at the moment. This was especially true since he was technically ill, suffering from physical stress due to overwork.
It wasn't like he thought charms were incredibly potent, but one time he had bought something like that for his entrance exam to Soubu High, the most elite school in Chiba. So he saw no harm in taking them.
"Oho, so you're taking double protection from ailments, huh?" Zaimokuza grinned as he bought Tokugawa's victory charm and Taira no Masakado's evil warding charm.
"It's not like they can make the pain go away, but a little assurance is better than nothing." Hachiman smiled sadly. "Anything to ensure Komachi's debut is a success, so I will have to endure until that point."
"Don't die on me just yet!" Zaimokuza hammed it up and punched Hachiman on the waist.
The three idols grimaced for some reason but remained quiet. Until Karin decided to bring up a more comfortable topic. "So, do you want to pray now? We can guide you."
"Wouldn't it be a bother?" Hachiman asked. "I mean, this might not be a big job, but it's still a job."
"Of course, not all of us can go. But you're technically a customer here." The ninja girl shrugged. "Tamami-chan can go."
"WHY ME?" Tamami complained as she waved her shinai.
"Because you're making a ruckus, that's why!"
"Keh! Fine! Let it never be said that I will never take responsibility for my mistakes!" Tamami puffed her cheeks angrily. "I'll be the guide."
"In that case, I'll go ahead." Ayame pulled out a ball, which she threw to the ground, causing a small explosion of smoke. When the smoke dissipated, she was nowhere in sight.
"Oho, that's a neat trick." Zaimokuza grinned.
"She's a real ninja, I believe..." Hachiman said. "From Iga, training and all."
"WHAT?"
Only half a joke since there was no such thing as ninjas anymore in modern days. But the training facilities and techniques, often dramatized and theatrical, still existed. And Hamaguchi Ayame came from one of such.
Apparently, she had intended to audition for the drama division (where movies and TV shows were made) but got lost and stumbled into the idol division instead. Regardless, she considered it a challenge and continued to stay.
Hachiman was half expecting Zaimokuza to want her to be his shadow retainer. Maybe he still had some self-awareness of how little value he had in the eyes of an idol. First, he had to make a name for himself.
"A real kunoichi in this day and age... interesting. Very interesting." Zaimokuza quietly laughed.
...His expression was pretty telling that he was thinking about doing that. Predictable dumbass. But Hachiman wouldn't expect him to be any less ambitious.
That wouldn't be Zaimokuza Yoshiteru.
Just him having a vested interest in any girl in the flesh was a miracle. Zaimokuza only simped for real 3D girls from a distance, like those famous seiyuus or online cosplayers. Funny enough, not idols.
"Well then, I'll leave it to you." Karin politely excused herself and then turned back to leave.
Only to trip, face-first onto the ground. Hachiman always wondered how this girl could avoid stage accidents yet keep messing around on the shrine grounds. Perhaps God was real and specifically out to screw her for some unfathomable reasoning or some test of perseverance.
As for the certain kendo maniac, it wasn't like she had spiteful thoughts in her mind. Just a little bit of overzealousness when it came to protecting the weak and enforcing justice.
346 had accepted her as an idol because of her petite appearance, but the circumstances of her recruitment were different. Tamami had been scouted by the 4th Division Producer because she fought delinquents to protect a girl from harassment.
(Aside note, the 4th Division Producer really looked like a yakuza member.)
Had Zaimokuza not escalated things, they wouldn't have ended up in an epic sword fight like that, let alone in public. So, Zaimokuza was also at fault here, not an innocent victim.
From the point of view of bushido, his failure to deescalate made him a failure as a noble samurai.
Why yes, Hachiman knew the essence of bushido too. He wouldn't tell anyone. Zaimokuza would have a field day with it, and Hachiman couldn't be bothered to indulge his reincarnation fantasy. Not by himself.
Hachiman was almost certain PicoPico and OurTube would have a field day about it later. Hachiman might even get involved as a damage control squad if it really went viral in a negative way.
Hachiman prayed that wouldn't be the case, even if his cynical mind spoke otherwise. Perhaps Ayame knew this, and that was why she wanted Tamami to accompany Zaimokuza around, showing the public that they were actually on amicable terms, thus creating an alibi.
Smart girl.
After throwing some donations and praying at the main shrine, the trio also visited most of the sites in the shrine area. For example, the Daikoku (God of merchants and wealth) Statue.
Just to highlight how incredibly thin the lines between fiction and history were in this shrine, there was even a monument for Zenigata Heiji. He was a fictional Edo-period police detective who caught criminals by throwing coins. Heiji was created by Osakazu Nomura, a famous Showa novelist, and had since been featured in many novels, TV series, and films.
青春 の輝かしいステージ ひどく明るい感じ
The Shining Stage of Youth feels awfully bright
(Oregairu/Idolmaster - Cinderella Girls)
Original Story by: Watari Wataru/Bandai-Namco
Written by: ZeroXSEED
Chapter 19 - Prayers and wishes, part 1
When they arrived at the famous elevated garden of the shrine, Hachiman received a call from a certain familiar girl.
"What is it, Hayami?"
"[Heard you visited the shrine in Akiba. Didn't take you as especially religious.]"
"I'm not religious, but I'm not an atheist either. What about you?"
"[I guess I can say the same thing. We cannot know for sure if gods exist or not in any way, regardless of the argument others have about it.]" Kanade told him. "[Though I think Shuuko-san is pretty religious herself, despite her laid-back personality.]"
"If it works, it works. If it doesn't, then I lose nothing but some time that I'm going to waste anyway." Hachiman scoffed. "But it's my motto to never rely on divine intervention. That's just the talk of a loser."
Hachiman once thought the same, that only God could save him from his social anxiety. However, growing through his chuunibyou phase and later social isolation, Hachiman finally understood that he got to decide his path.
Whether in ancient Greece, Abrahamic religion, or even ancient Chinese proverbs, many teachings alluded to the statement, "God/Heaven helps those who help themselves."
In a way, his father's offer to work at 346 could be considered a divine miracle by itself. But if Hachiman hadn't agreed to it, then nothing would have changed. He probably would have still been rotting at Soubu High and complaining about the cruel and unjust society.
"[As for me, I'm binging some movies for today. Wish I could go with a certain someone.]"
"What about the rest of the LiPPS?"
"[Everyone has their own thing for today. I'm super lonely here.]"
"You could binge movies with the idols squatting in the office."
Pretty sure Shuuko was part of that group.
"[Yes, but the atmosphere is different, isn't it?]"
That was definitely not the worst argument Kanade could have. Even Hachiman could feel the difference between watching movies at home and in theaters, and he was super lonely too.
"[But never mind about me, are you alright?]" Kanade asked with a hint of concern.
"It's fine. My workload is going to decrease after payday anyway."
"[That's not what I meant," Kanade repeated. "[Are you... really alright? Do you have difficulties that you can't share?]"
"What do you mean? Other than physical stress from overwork, there's really nothing. I even sent my medical report to the Chief Producer. That's the reason behind the contract rework."
"[I believe you. And thank you for telling me this.]"
Well, wasn't that weird?
"[See you later then!]" Kanade ended the call with a disgustingly audible kissing sound.
His phone rang again, this time it was from Mika.
"Hello, what-"
"[HELLO, HIKIGAYA-KUN, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?]!" Mika's voice boomed from the speaker, which made Hachiman flinch in response.
"What? Why?"
"[Was... was...]" Mika took a deep breath before she continued. "[Was it true that you... you... you suffer from terminal cancer?]"
Huh?
"[So it was really true after a-]!"
"It's not. What fresh bullshit is that, and where is it coming from? No, I don't have terminal cancer. If I did, I'd have collapsed a long time ago." Hachiman screamed.
"[Eh? Eh? But... but those medications Shiki-chan gave you?]"
"They're just relaxants and stamina herbal drinks because I overworked myself too much in the past month. Did Ichinose-senpai not tell you this?"
"[Uhh, no, I'm just assuming because it was on the label too!]"
"Many herbs have anti-cancer properties, according to laboratory research. However, research for their practical implementation has been sparse as of now, and the traditional use of herbal drinks to cure cancer is still highly questioned. For terminal cancer? Forget it."
Hachiman could hear a loud thump in the background, and he wasn't sure what was happening on her side.
"Hello? Is there a problem?"
"[I... I see. I'm glad to hear that. Ahahaha.]" Mika laughed. "[I feel silly now, believing the stupid rumor.]"
"Could be worse, at least you asked."
"[Haha, that's true. I did panic hard, though. It's because you bought two health charms, and I think some people misunderstood the context of your conversation, so... I guess I'm that foolish!]"
Oh, the damned idol chat group at it again. If you think idols dislike gossip, you are absolutely wrong.
"[Nevertheless, take care of your health and don't push yourself too much. Even us idols need breaks every once in a while.]"
"I am taking a break right now... but thanks for the concern."
"[Haha, right. Sorry to disturb you, and see ya!]"
Hachiman glared at Tamami and Zaimokuza, who were staring at her phone with wide eyes.
Then she looked at Hachiman and flailed her hand. "Not me! Not me! It's not me who said you might have a terminal illness! We just shared your charm photos, that's all!"
It must have been either Karin or Ayame, then.
"YOU HAVE A TERMINAL ILLNESS?!" Zaimokuza shouted in utter surprise.
Hachiman had the urge to slap these two. Again.
After spending a hefty amount of time at the shrine, lunchtime almost arrived. Zaimokuza faced yet another dilemma.
"Which maid cafe shall we visit?"
"Huh?"
"Maid cafe! How could you go to Akihabara and not visit a maid cafe?! Where's your spirit, Hachiman?"
"I figured you'd just run away from girls like usual."
"This and that are different. Humph!" Zaimokuza huffed.
Well, Zaimokuza probably used his chuuni shield to interact with those maids as well. Though it didn't survive Chihaya, it was strong enough for Zaimokuza to deal with the members of Harugasumi.
"Just to be safe, let's go to Jam Akihabara."
"You really can't go wrong with the classic, but for some reason, I don't feel satisfied."
Zaimokuza probably wanted to go somewhere esoteric and bombastic, which wouldn't exist in Chiba. Too bad for him, though, Hachiman wanted to spend the day relaxing.
"Oh, come on, have mercy on me. I've never been to a maid cafe even once, so it's super intimidating," Hachiman excused himself. "You know how shy I am, right?"
"Don't pull that line on me, Hachiman!" Zaimokuza pointed harshly. "You're literally surrounded by idols 24/7!"
"This and that are different. The idols are my co-workers. That's why I can behave professionally in front of them. But the relationship between a customer and a service provider is something else."
It was half a lie. Intimidating was probably pushing it, but Hachiman would have been uncomfortable with the typical modern maid cafe. The more laid-back and detached Jam Akiba would suit his taste more, especially after the hectic situation at the shrine.
"Hmm, perhaps you're right. Shouldn't jump into water you can't gauge the depth of," Zaimokuza finally relented. "Let's go to [Jam Akihabara]!"
The distance between the shrine and the cafe was short enough that Hachiman felt more bothered by having to haul his bike everywhere instead of walking around. Nevertheless, quick travel was convenient.
Hachiman noticed something peculiar the moment he arrived, however. Akihabara wasn't really a place for people to flirt on the street. Seeing a girl surrounded by a bunch of boys was intimidating.
Zaimokuza seemed to notice as well, but they mentally decided not to take action hastily. Hachiman instead focused his eyes and ears to pay attention and listen.
"Rinze is waiting for someone else," the girl said in a monotonic voice.
For some reason, Hachiman recalled seeing her somewhere... at school, perhaps?
"It's fine, hehe. We're just going to rest a little over there."
"But..."
"Come on, we just want to talk a bit."
It looked like they really were hitting on her, a little on the heavy side too. Hachiman stepped forward and intruded. "Excuse me, do you have any problem with my sister?"
The three otaku guys looked at Hachiman and Zaimokuza, and they instantly felt intimidated. Not just one hot-looking guy but two? In Akihabara?! Even if this guy was lying, they were no match for him.
Hachiman always knew that being good-looking granted you a free pass in certain social conventions. But due to his upbringing and low confidence, he was never really the one benefiting.
Like, he still remembered how his middle school female classmates called him gross. It was awful.
"Ahaha, it's fine, Onii-san. We shall excuse ourselves!"
The three otaku bailed so fast they left a cloud of dust.
"Pssh, cowards," Zaimokuza spat. "Don't worry, milady. You're safe now!"
"Thank you for the help," she formally bowed at them. "Are you not Hikigaya-san from 346 Production?"
"Do you know me? I think I've seen you somewhere, but I'm not sure where."
"My name is Morino Rinze of 283 Pro. I'm also a student of Otomejoshi, class 2-D," she formally handed out her business card. "Nice to meet you."
"So the class next door, is it?" Hachiman looked left and right, then formally handed out his business card as well with a bow. "Nice to meet you."
As it should be in Japan, business cards were sacrosanct and must be treated with respect. However, he wasn't the type to give excess courtesy, so he put it in his business cardholder after reading the details without commenting on anything.
"283 Pro?" Zaimokuza asked.
"It's a start-up idol production formed recently," Hachiman told him. "So it's not a well-known company at the moment."
That's why Hachiman didn't even bother remembering their individual idol names yet. Even compared to 765, 283 was downright minuscule.
"That's right. Compared to 346, our company is still lacking in many ways. But we're working hard on it," she said expressionlessly.
Hachiman had seen some emotionless people, but this girl might as well have been a robot. But that actually made him sympathize with her even more. It must have been troublesome and terrifying for her to fend off lascivious strangers by herself.
In some way, she reminded Hachiman of Fumika.
"Hey, you!" Another girl called them out. "What are you doing with Rin-"
She stopped the moment she noticed who it was. "Aren't you from class 2-C? Hikisomething?"
"I didn't know I was that famous," Hachiman snarked. "Hikigaya Hachiman of 346 Pro."
"My name is Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, from Soubu High in Chiba. Hachiman was a former schoolmate of mine, so nice to meet you," Zaimokuza grinned.
"...Saijo Juri, class 2-D. I'm also from 283 Pro," the girl said, not as angry-looking as before but still tense. "Are you hitting on her?"
"Juri-san, they helped Rinze from being hit on..." Rinze told her friend. "We should thank them."
"It might be an otaku neighborhood, but creeps are everywhere. Girls going out alone is a recipe for an incident to happen," Hachiman turned his back on the two girls and walked away toward the maid cafe.
"Wait for me!" Zaimokuza yelled.
"Hey, wait!" Juri called them. "Hikigaya!"
Hachiman stopped and looked behind.
"Umm, thanks for the help," Juri averted her eyes but said it aloud. "We owe you one."
She was a surprisingly sweet one, wasn't she?
"Forget it," Hachiman scoffed and entered the cafe.
...