Hachiman and Zaimokuza came out of the cafe, fully refreshed. The maids of Jam Akiba cafe hit the right note between courtesy and loveliness. Hachiman appreciated the experience more for that reason.
And despite his initial complaint, Zaimokuza was practically glowing!
"Well, that was not bad!" Zaimokuza grinned.
"Told you already I'm not wrong," Hachiman punched his back.
Hachiman also appreciated that his wallet wasn't as light as it could have been. Jam Akihabara still cost a lot more than a family restaurant, yet it was still a lot less expensive than other maid cafes.
"You know, you seem to be famous in your new school," Zaimokuza pointed out. "These girls know you even though you don't know them."
"Only in the immediate neighborhood, mostly because my father is a high-profile producer," Hachiman explained. "Once they get past that initial impression, they'd just see a boring office boy."
"That I have to disagree with. You need to be more confident in yourself!" Zaimokuza pumped his fist up. "And Otomejoshi sounds like a fun school to attend."
"Trust me when I say, that school is crappy," Hachiman laughed.
"...For real? I thought it was an idol school!" Zaimokuza gasped. "So that means there's no epic idol lessons or school idol competitions?!"
"Standards are so low that you don't need an entrance exam to enter. It's just so that young athletes and celebrities can graduate with proper school diplomas while focusing on their careers and future goals," Hachiman explained to Zaimokuza. "What, you want to transfer?"
"Hmmm, maybe if I get published somehow," Zaimokuza postulated. "If I get published, I could really use more time to write."
Hachiman smiled wryly.
"Work hard, then."
His phone rang, and this time, it didn't come from the idols.
It came from Chihiro.
"[Good afternoon, Hikigaya-kun. Are you enjoying your break today?]"
"Yes, I'm with a friend at the moment," Hachiman responded. "What is it, Senkawa-san?"
"Munakata-san might get dropped from the idol program. Director Mishiro cited inappropriate behavior and lack of discipline. Producer Yonai tried to convince her to give some leniency, but he doesn't really have much support in that regard."
"Munakata... Munakata Atsumi?"
The little molester, at least how Hachiman would describe her. Since their first meeting, Hachiman already felt incredulous. This girl didn't have an ounce of work ethic and abused her gender and young age to harass the other idols without consequences.
No, girls don't just grab each other by the boobs like some shitty anime and brush it off with laughter. That's like saying it's okay for boys to hold each other's junk in the bath.
There are lines not to cross, and Atsumi crossed them again despite being on probation.
"[The only person who might save her career is the Chief Producer, but... well...]"
"You want me to convince him?"
"[On the contrary, no. While I personally think Munakata-san deserves another chance, I've decided to stay out of this matter," Chihiro told him. "[I just wanted to inform you because she's Komachi-chan's peer, and you know her well]."
Munakata was lucky she DIDN'T touch Komachi. Firing would have been the least of her problems otherwise. A pissed Komachi might legit beat the shit out of her.
"[Still, the Director made an exception and decided to keep this under wraps instead of using it as a case example for other idols to learn from]."
Huh? Even Director Mishiro wasn't being entirely heartless about it. It would also help to keep morale up among the trainees.
Harsh, but not overly so.
"This might sound harsh, but good riddance, I'd say. A personal fetish doesn't grant someone a free pass to commit harassment. And Munakata Atsumi might be young but is old enough to understand the consequences of her actions," Hachiman told her coldly, with a hint of contempt.
"[You think she doesn't deserve even a bit of leniency?]"
"I'd like to think that if I'm guilty of the same thing, I'll get quietly kicked out too. If anything, it will be worse since my father will kill me before I can step out of this office."
"[Ahahaha... you're right, Hikigaya-kun," Chihiro laughed sadly. "[As a law graduate, I should be more objective in my judgment. I really need to shape up, or else I'll fail my duty as company secretary]."
"Honestly, it's weird to ask my childish opinion on something this important. I'm really thankful that you are still willing to spare your time to tell me, Senkawa-san."
"[Childish as it may, it's not always necessarily wrong. After all, we adults can be selfish and stubborn too," Chihiro said to him. "[I perfectly understand as a career woman that discrimination is a double-edged sword, and different circumstances only change who benefits and who suffers]."
Even from the victim's side, it wasn't hard to rationalize or downplay Munakata's actions simply because she was a girl. It wasn't as if Hachiman was entirely free of such prejudice at first. It was the thought of Komachi being a potential victim that sparked his conscience and changed his opinion.
How many pissed-off older brothers or fathers were out there if they knew Munakata harassed their sisters and daughters? Hell, the Chief Producer was unlikely to be merciful this time, either.
"[Either way, I hope I didn't ruin this important vacation of yours by telling you this]."
Hachiman wanted to say this was nothing but good news, but even he still had a little bit of tact left. "No worries, but you're still working today, Senkawa-san?"
"[I'm working from home because the Director called in an emergency. She told everyone in the company to go home unless it's an ongoing project with an unavoidable deadline]."
"I see. I'm sorry to hear that."
"[It's fine. Let's meet up again tomorrow in the office]."
Hachiman closed the phone call only to find Zaimokuza was also busy having a phone call himself.
"Looks like he's about done," Zaimokuza carelessly threw his brick-sized phone at Hachiman. "Phone call from that violent samurai girl."
This phone was so heavy, you could probably use it as a weapon.
"This is Hachiman."
"[Can you do us a favor and pick up Sae-chan and Yoshino-chan at Akihabara Station? They're supposed to get here by car but got stuck in a traffic jam]."
"Ah, Kobayakawa and Yorita then, that's fine."
"[Thank you for the hard work]!"
Hey, this was vacation time. Tamami should have used a different phrase! Anyway, Hachiman returned the brick to its rightful owner. "She asked us to pick up some idols from the station."
"Hmm, it would be a problem if they got themselves tangled up by some voracious men. Better safe than sorry!" Zaimokuza nodded. "Let's pick them up together!"
Hachiman looked at his bike and then sighed. "You know what, let's just walk there."
Hachiman didn't want to grow too spoiled. Bikes were practical, but you weren't an urban Japanese if you didn't walk around once in a while. It also caught too much attention.
Arriving at the station in five minutes, it didn't really take long for these two to find the idols. Seriously, who would wear a kimono in the Akiba metro area if they weren't cosplaying?
Hachiman's mind wandered back to Rinze from 283 and concluded it might have been the reason they got hit on. Just like Zaimokuza, they looked out of place.
"Good afternoon, Hikigaya-han," Sae greeted Hachiman politely. "I apologize for intruding on your precious holiday."
"That's alright. I was going to spend most of today in Akihabara anyway," Hachiman refuted. "But you shouldn't really travel around wearing a kimono. They can get snagged in the train."
"I noticed that. I shall be more careful next time."
"Anyway, this is my friend Zaimokuza Yoshiteru from Chiba. And this is Kobayakawa Sae and Yoshino Yorita. They're also part of Harugasumi."
"At your service," Zaimokuza raised his hand.
"I see, so it was that," Yoshino closed her eyes and smiled. "Today, you are blessed with unsurmountable luck. If you look closely, you will find what you seek all along."
Well, duh! That was kind of obvious. But what did she mean by 'what you seek'?
"The miracles you seek are always within your arm's reach," Yoshino opened her eyes and started walking.
Yoshino wasn't really a world-class beauty or anything. But she always had this ephemeral aura that made people ignore her or catch their attention as she wished. It was almost mystical, even.
"...That's a Goddess," Zaimokuza remarked. "There's no mistake."
Hachiman wanted to snark just in case Zaimokuza fell at first sight. However, for once, Zaimokuza looked like he was in a trance. Zaimokuza only looked like this when he was getting a flood of inspiration.
That wasn't the expression of a man who had found his true love.
But perhaps he wasn't entirely wrong. Yoshino was the true ace of Harugasumi, being in the top 10 of the 346 idol division as a whole. She was also the most mysterious, and no one could be sure about her real identity.
There was a rumor that there was an actual religious cult following her. Hachiman couldn't confirm if that was true, though.
"Your friend is a bit eccentric, isn't he?" Sae asked Hachiman. "But I sense he's both harmless and reliable."
"You can say that. Since Zaimokuza isn't a simp for idols, he's a lot less of a threat than your average fan," Hachiman said. "The story would be different if we're talking about seiyuus or cosplayers."
"...But Harugasumi cosplays a lot, don't we?" Sae pointed at herself. "I mean, this kimono looks very distinct both here and back in the production office."
"Can you even call it cosplaying when it's part of your identity at this point?" Hachiman asked her rhetorically. "Zaimokuza is big on self-identity, so he could only see Hamaguchi as a ninja, Domyoji as a miko, and so on. He barely notices that you're an idol because you dress like a Kyoto girl."
Some might call it delusion, but as long as it didn't hurt anyone, there wasn't an issue. Hachiman wondered if he should introduce him to Chuuni 14 sometime in the future. They probably would get along like gasoline and fire. Which is to say, hilariously explosive.
"For some reason, I feel disappointed," Sae sighed.
"I think you're not the only one," Hachiman cringed.
青春 の輝かしいステージ ひどく明るい感じ
The Shining Stage of Youth feels awfully bright
(Oregairu/Idolmaster - Cinderella Girls)
Original Story by: Watari Wataru/Bandai-Namco
Written by: ZeroXSEED
Chapter 20 - Akiba Trip
Arriving at the shrine safely, Hachiman and Zaimokuza were about to bid farewell.
"Forgive us for being late. Let us take care of the second shift," Sae bowed to her three comrades.
"We'll leave it to you!"
"Uhh, Hachiman."
"Yes?"
"They're in casual clothes."
"And?"
"Uhhh..."
The three other idols had apparently changed into their casual clothes. If there was an appropriately worst timing for Zaimokuza to meet them, this would have been it.
"So, where are you two going now?"
"We're thinking of going to Melonbooks or Toranoana to buy some doujin. Then to Super Potato to buy some retro game consoles and maybe play some retro arcades while we're at it," Hachiman answered.
"Doujin?" Tamami squinted her eyes. "Hentai."
"Hehe, that's pretty daring of you!" Ayame elbowed him.
"Rude! I'm buying all-ages Precure doujin for Komachi!" Hachiman hissed. He wouldn't tell them that he liked Pretty Cure himself.
"Well then, do you mind if we tag along?" Karin asked him.
"If you want us to tag along with your shopping, forget it!" Hachiman jabbed. "Don't think I don't know you women and your shopping habits."
"Hey! We just want to ask you to accompany us for some tonkatsu at Marugo!" Tamami huffed. "And we're thinking of treating you to a meal too. We already have seats reserved!"
Akiba's Tonkatsu Marugo was one of the more famous restaurants specifically serving pork-based meals. And the price reflected that. Tonkatsu Marugo was freaking expensive. You were very much expected to spend anywhere between 2000 to 6000 yen there.
"Actually, we just had our lunch, so..." Zaimokuza looked like he wanted to run. Heavy pork meals were the one thing he avoided, thanks to his diet plan. Truthfully, Zaimokuza hadn't eaten all that much at the maid cafe either.
"Having lunch with idols isn't an everyday occurrence, y'know?" Ayame winked. "Especially for free! For free!"
"Oh lord, the temptation is too strong, Hachiman! You decide!"
Okay, it looked like Zaimokuza was conflicted himself. On the one hand, diet, and on the other hand, free food with idols. It didn't take being a simp to think refusing was a stupid choice. Of course, Hachiman himself wasn't thrilled with it. He had lunch with idols every day!
"Sure, you can tag along on our way," Hachiman decided. "But we're not joining the meal. We'll just go to Super Potato while you eat, then we can meet again after you finish and join us."
"Ehh? Why?" Karin asked in disbelief.
"It's not just you girls who have concerns about weight, y'know?" Hachiman grinned wryly. "Besides, I don't want to ruin our schedule."
"That makes sense, but..." Karin looked at her two friends. Tamami looked equally concerned, but Ayame was calm.
Hachiman wondered what their motive was. Perhaps there was more than one. Was it a bribe? Compensation? Or a bit of both? Harugasumi had done their job splendidly today, but they had also caused Hachiman and Zaimokuza problems due to Tamami's antics and the whole chat room rumor.
Not to mention, minor as it was, they had also saved Sae and Yoshino by escorting them through the packed roads of Akiba at the expense of their own time. The other girls saw it worked, and they decided to tag along for their own safety. That way, neither fans nor some other boys would bother them.
And since Hachiman was 346 PRO staff, he could protect them from scandalous accusations involving the opposite sex.
Perhaps they were thinking of repaying it all by treating the boys to a luxury meal. And in an ordinary situation, that would have been the logical thing to do. What better way to worm into a boy's heart than through his stomach?
They were just unlucky that neither Hachiman nor Zaimokuza was in a condition to accept their goodwill.
"Hmmm, I wonder if we offended their pride somehow," Tamami rubbed her chin. "Like, they don't want to be treated by the girls or something."
"Huuh, that's true," Karin nodded. "I'm sorry, that's not our intention."
"I'm sorry, my pride isn't worth that much stupidity. If this were a different occasion, I'd like to eat the famous tonkatsu," Hachiman snarked. "We're not even dating. And even if we were, paying half is common courtesy. What kind of high school simp pays everything by himself?"
Though Hachiman admitted that he liked the idea of getting spoiled, he hated charity. That's why he had promised Chihiro to treat her back on payday tomorrow.
There was a difference between getting spoiled by his hypothetical wealthy lover and getting obligatory treats from his acquaintances and workmates.
"My apologies about that, but I'm on a diet right now," Zaimokuza answered honestly as he stretched his facial skin, showing how he used to be slightly rounder.
"I think Hachiman is trying to be considerate of me, and I'm thankful for him. To be honest, I feel bad about it too."
"And I just ate my lunch before we came here again. Walking around bloated would make me sick," Hachiman tried to downplay it and show how it concerned him the most. "Legendary tonkatsu be damned."
"Oho, so this is the power of comradeship!" Ayame grinned. "That's fine. We can join you after we're done eating, then!"
Hachiman had always thought that Ayame was the most crafty among the three. She probably planned to repay Hachiman later, and if she didn't, Hachiman couldn't care less.
It wasn't like he was doing this as part of his job. So he'd do everything today on his terms.
"Let's go."
And so the group went on its merry way toward the destination. The two boys led in the front while the girls were slightly behind them. The presence of two good-looking boys was an effective deterrent to anyone trying their luck with these equally pretty girls.
Had it not been because two of its members carried wooden swords with them, this group wouldn't have been out of place in Shinjuku.
Hachiman wondered when he had stopped caring about these blatant disregards of common sense. But as long as the idols weren't breaking any laws, it was best to leave them to their devices. Their quirks were part of their personal charm, after all. Their fans loved them for what they were.
"Zaimokuza-kun? Do you have any idols you like?" Ayame asked the bespectacled otaku.
"Hmm, can't say I have. A few idol seiyuu, perhaps," Zaimokuza answered honestly without hiding even the slightest bit of his power level. "And cosplayers, but other than that... I can't say I have a specific one."
"Really? Not even one?" Karin widened her eyes.
"Oh! I actually kinda like Tomoe-tan's debut single. I don't see enka often represented in idol music," Zaimokuza just remembered. "Isn't she also from the 4th division?"
"Murakami Tomoe, huh? Her debut was a blast," Hachiman snorted. "You girls better be careful. She might body you out of your niche as traditional idols!"
"Meanie!" Tamami huffed and punched Hachiman in the waist.
"It IS unfortunate that Tomoe-chan beats us when it comes to vocal quality, yes," Ayame grinned fearlessly. "We have a lot of tricks up our sleeves, though."
"Seriously though, you like them younger, huh?" Tamami whined in disappointment. "I thought your type prefers them older!"
"Being a true fan doesn't always mean you yearn for their exclusive affection!" Zaimokuza howled. "Besides, I also want to get married to a seiyuu!"
Hachiman wanted to jump into a ditch from second-hand embarrassment, but really, he was the minority here. There was no point in doing that. Here in Akihabara, Zaimokuza's type was dirt common.
Karin was dumbfounded and blinked constantly. Ayame clapped hard and laughed. Tamami's jaw almost dropped out of its socket.
"He's already terminal. There's no saving him," Hachiman let out a deep sigh.
"Otaku are scary," Tamami shivered. "Scary!"
"What's wrong about wanting to get married?" Karin innocently asked.
"Right. We're idols, so we can't judge," Ayame made a zipping motion with her fingers. "Let's continue, everyone!"
Good job, Ayame-chan!
"What about you, Hikigaya-san? Do you have a favorite idol?"
"Even if I have one, I can't say it aloud!"
That would be a conflict of interest.
The group split in front of the Marugo Tonkatsu restaurant. The boys continued their way to the Super Potato retro game shop located in the next city block, just a little over fifty meters away.
"Hachiman, I actually keep a few secrets, so..." Zaimokuza suddenly said. "I'm actually a fan of Takamine Noa-san!"
"Oho, can't say you have terrible taste there!" Hachiman inadvertently grinned. "She's been on a decline in terms of popularity, but I can't say I don't admire her work ethic."
Of course, there was the fact that Noa was a bit of a weirdo herself. Hachiman didn't meddle with the second division, so they hadn't actually talked casually either. But at the very least, the entire Chuuni 14 worshipped her as a role model because of her no-nonsense coolness.
No wonder Zaimokuza liked her.
"Right? She's incredibly cool and charming. I wish I were half as cool as she is!" Zaimokuza nodded furiously. "My admiration for her is different than my love for the seiyuus, but still!"
"That's fine. Love comes in all forms after all," Hachiman told him. "But how can you be as cool as she is with that bombastic personality of yours?"
"AGH! THAT'S A CRITICAL HIT!"
A self-demonstrating article, Zaimokuza was. Of course, Hachiman also had an untold secret: HE wished he were half as cool as Takamine Noa.
Noa was punctual and precise and always in complete control of her emotions. Everyone was motivated to seriously work whenever she entered the scene, disregarding just how absurd her style preference was. And Hachiman respected her for that dissonance.
"I also have another secret. The real reason why I'm dieting..."
"Yes?"
"...It's because I felt self-conscious when I tried riding your bike, and the suspension seemed to give up."
Ah, was that two weeks ago in Chiba?
"And I'm thinking... if a steel beast like that would buckle under me... then wouldn't a warhorse suffer as much, if not more?"
This guy was seriously predictable. Hachiman couldn't even get mad at him for saying stupid shit anymore. Instead, Hachiman could only feel amazed at his ingenuity.
"First of all, most motorbikes are rated to carry at least 150 kg. Secondly, it depends on the horses. Most horses can comfortably carry a fifth of their body weight just fine."
In other words, get a better horse, you fatso!
"...It was like that?" Zaimokuza blinked.
"But I think not being obese would help you anyway, so at least continue until you reach a normal weight," Hachiman patted his shoulder. "Didn't you say it helps you with writing, as well?"
"Well, yes, but I only feel the positive effect after the fact."
No shit.
...
The boys joined the girls again the moment they were out of the Melonbooks doujin store. Both boys carried two bags each, one with books and another with retro games.
"Aww, we hoped to see what you bought," Ayame faked a pout.
"Fuck off."
"Where shall we go now?"
"I was thinking of going to Gamers and buying some anime merchandise," Zaimokuza muttered. "...But I think I'll conserve my money a bit and go elsewhere."
Zaimokuza's family wasn't wealthy but was definitely above the middle class. So it wasn't as if Zaimokuza was actually short on money. Maybe he was actually embarrassed by these idols tagging along?
"Then there's only one place left."
"GACHA HALL AKIHABARA!" Hachiman and Zaimokuza roared shamelessly. Of all times going around the otaku town, this was the defining moment to unleash the inner child in them.
Hachiman was so tired and excited that he ran out of fucks about keeping his image.
"Now you're talking," Tamami cracked her fingers in anticipation.
"Let's try our luck as well!" Ayame pumped up her fists.
Gachapon, the gateway to toy gambling, might have been the most dangerous invention, second only to the pachinko machine. Or at least, Hachiman thought so until he found out about mobage addiction.
In comparison, the toy capsule dispensers seemed pretty harmless. Unlike mobile game gacha, there was physical proof of your success and failure, deterring people from excess consumption of coins.
Gachapon was popular with everyone, from kids to the elderly, and people across genders and occupations. This was because there was a gacha for everything.
Everything.
"Some PreCure, Disney Princess, and for me, Gundam," Hachiman readied his pile of coins for the inevitable war.
There were even 346 PRO idol-based gacha here, including petite figures of the Harugasumi and LiPPS.
"Haha, look! I got Nana-chan!" Karin happily showed her Nana Abe figure.
"Let me try! Let me try!"
Many patrons realized actual idols were playing with gacha machines of their own figures. They all looked torn between curiosity and shock. And a few of them braved themselves to ask for a signature or take some photos.
Since they weren't overly intrusive, Tamami let them have their way and asked them to be orderly about it.
"You know, I'm a bit sad that I'm not that much into idols," Zaimokuza remarked from a distance with a pile of capsules in his arms. "This is what they mean by not feeling the magic, right?"
"Welcome to my world," Hachiman snarked, with a pile of capsules in his hand as well. "Magic is dead."
Perhaps because their first meeting started with a bang, Zaimokuza couldn't really see these girls as above him at all. These girls might have had talent and charms that exceeded the average, but they were ultimately still humans, with their own flaws and quirks.
After leaving the gacha shop, they went to Artisan Street 2k540, with traditional handcrafted souvenir shops to pick from. Hachiman wasn't especially eager to go here, but he didn't mind sightseeing.
Zaimokuza wanted to pick a few gifts for his parents. Likewise, the Harugasumi members really liked the place as well due to their traditional background.
There were a lot of weird things, like whistling sake decanters or ogre-faced cups. These products came from various places all over the nation.
By the time they were done, the sun had halfway descended, and the sky had changed colors. Zaimokuza actually sent his gifts as breakable items through packages, knowing that bringing them along the train ride would be too much of a hassle.
"I guess it's time for me to go back. Don't want to arrive at my resting place too late," Zaimokuza waved. "Then, until next time."
"Wait!" Tamami called him out before he could turn his back. "Please accept this."
"I'm really sorry about what happened this morning, and you were only being helpful to me and my friends in response," Tamami formally bowed. This time, no one really forced her to.
"There's no need to apologize. I wasn't able to clear the misunderstanding myself, which is why we came into such an intense conflict," Zaimokuza bowed back. "It's an honor to meet such a passionate woman of the sword."
To Zaimokuza, Wakiyama Tamami would never be an idol. She would always be the fiery kendo girl, and perhaps, that was an even more meaningful existence to him than some fleeting magical figure across the monitor.
"Even so, please accept this."
Tamami gave Zaimokuza a tenugui, a traditional handkerchief that she had bought in the craft shop. On top of the cloth was a small figure of Murakami Tomoe, likely coming out of gacha capsules.
"Did you get this?"
"I mentioned offhandedly about wanting one, and a fan gave it to me in exchange for a signature on his shirt," Tamami rolled her eyes aside in guilt. "Talk about a no-effort gift."
"I'm happy about this, but..."
Had Hachiman stood up in different spots, the angle of Zaimokuza bending himself down would have caused a lot of misunderstanding. Karin even closed her eyes in embarrassment, thinking it was a kiss.
Nevertheless, Zaimokuza seemed to say something that made Tamami blush hard.
"EH, GIVE IT BACK TO ME!"
Ah, he probably told Tamami that he actually liked Takamine Noa as well. Perhaps even more than he did Murakami Tomoe-chan.
"No can do, please keep it a secret!" Zaimokuza danced around like a madman as he laughed his way up to the stairs of the train platform. "Wait for my new manuscript, Hachiman! It's going to be epic! And you better believe it!"
"I'm waiting!" Hachiman shouted back with an honest smile.
Soon after, the car from 346 came to pick up the three idols, while Hachiman walked alone back to where he had parked his motorbike.
Today had been the most eventful day that he could remember, and surely he would sleep a dreamless night, tired yet satisfied.