Heyo!
I don't own anything, anyone or anywhere you recognise. Sapphire, along with a few others who'll crop up every now and then, are mine.
Well I'm back to work. Managed to evade death by boredom while on furlough the last few months, though in all honesty, I actually put in the time alright. I have hobbies :D
Big, huge thanks to JustAFemaleGeek who reviewed the last chapter! So nice to hear from you again! Cid is most assuredly not a softie, even half a decade or more before Cloud and the gang meet him. I hope. Maybe he's just a big teddy bear before the whole Shera incident and I've totally rewritten him. Oh well... eek.
Also, hello Guest reviewer, thanks so much for leaving your thoughts! I imagine you're right, DoC probably has a lot less fanfics than any other instalment in the series. I appreciate your suggestions, though I won't be able to take them on. If you had asked mid-teens me if she thought she'd still be writing this story in her mid-twenties (and hadn't even made it to the start of Crisis Core yet) she'd have laughed at you, or cried. Probably cried. My compulsive need for completion is all that drives me now, that and kind reviews like yours! Will say though, if you want to see those stories come to life, you should have a go at writing them :) If you're passionate about an idea, make it happen!
Make it happen like Saphie's making her journey to Midgar happen :D Enjoy this chapter, everyone!
Chapter 7 - Light
Costa del Sol, or Coast of the Sun as the driver called Elin had divulged, lived up to its name. Eventually.
The day we were set to leave the rocket launch pad area, two days after my arrival there, happened to be the same day a storm broke on the east coast. The winds that buffeted the jeep threatened to turn us over, even half an hour out from the resort town. The torrential rain that battered the windscreen, horizontal from the blasting wind, all but blinded us. The one benefit was that the roads were clear, because no one else was mad enough to be out on a day like this. Still didn't mean we could drive any faster than the gentle crawl Elin had adopted.
"How far are we from the docks, d'you reckon?" A flash of lightning was just enough illumination for me to make out the exasperated look Elin gave me then.
"A few miles. I think." I didn't know whether he appreciated my annoying distraction tactic or was just annoyed by it. He wasn't any less high-strung though. Hunched over the steering wheel, his knuckles white, eyes squinted.
"I'm pretty sure Cid would understand, you know. Better to stop and avoid accidents than not make it back." Cid had dictated that this was the day the shipment would be in, and had insisted that they were needed immediately, but he seemed a reasonable enough sort of guy. I'm sure he'd let Elin off in these conditions.
I guess Elin knew his boss better though, and determinedly shook his head in refusal. "We're not in any danger at this speed, better to get to the docks and get indoors. This storm could last for days."
"Days?" I echoed, aghast, and decided not to complain any further. We didn't even have any food, after all. Besides, I was the foreigner here. Plus I couldn't drive. And I had nothing at stake, or certainly less than he had. Elin definitely had superiority in the decision-making on this trip.
So we carried on, and another fearful hour later, the lights of civilisation I had first thought were an apparition were directly ahead of us. Before too long, we were engulfed in it. Houses, buildings, signs and streets and shops and all sorts. They were only barely recognisable in the lashing rain, light reflecting off the torrent, but Elin's audible sigh and sagging shoulders as he comfortably navigated through the empty streets assured me that the worst was over.
For a town known best as being a tourist destination, there was a unique eeriness to the complete absence of life. Even the windows were darkened over; I guessed everyone had chosen to take refuge in their beds early on this bleak evening.
Quaint residential neighbourhoods were followed by grand villas. A few turns later saw us to a main street, with shops and booths and restaurants and Gaia knows what else. The rain still poured, the wind still roared, and every road was completely barren, no matter how hard I strained my eyes.
"Creepy, isn't it?" I murmured, though there was no reason for it to be a surprise. No one would be out in that weather.
"What?"
"It's nothing," I offered, a little more loudly.
"The docks aren't too far away," Elin assured me, perhaps guessing accurately enough that I wasn't exactly enjoying the ride. His words weren't an empty promise, thankfully. The buildings were thinning out, and we were soon plunged back into darkness with the roads on the city outskirts being unlit, but there was a steady light not far ahead that we were heading directly towards.
The first sign of human life we came across in the town was a member of security, who greeted us with a wary stare from inside his glass box as we approached the harbour entrance. "¿Estás loco?" he hollered at us, competing with the pelting rain on the car roof.
Elin and I looked at each other, helplessness and confusion etched on us both.
A heavy sigh directed our attention back to the man behind the glass, whose eyebrows were raised. "Are you crazy?" he asked, accent almost heavy enough to deceive me into thinking he was still speaking in his native language.
I smirked at my companion, triumphant in the knowledge I wasn't the only one who thought so. He didn't even look at me, explaining our situation. "I'm here to pick up some supplies, shipped from Midgar. My employer, Cid, gave me this order number—"
The man began muttering under his breath in his mother tongue, with rolling 'r' sounds that I couldn't help smiling at. His accent was to die for. "This storm, brewing for a week. You think ships arrive in this?" he exclaimed, his hesitant use of the language outshone by the exuberance with which he spoke.
"I… didn't think of that," Elin admitted sheepishly, observing the waves crashing against the docks that could be seen from the floodlights surrounding the area.
I leaned into Elin's personal space, fixing the driver with a bright grin, "Any chance we could park up here and spend the night?"
He seemed a little unsure, and held up a finger before turning a shoulder to us and speaking rapidly into a radio. A crackling response came, and let alone language, I couldn't even hear words through it with all the static. Somehow he did though, and with a cautious glance in our direction, he appeared to flick a switch in front of him. A steady rumble was barely audible over the lashing rain and crashing waves, but steadily the gates ahead of us parted in the middle.
Returning to an upright position in my seat, I asked, "Do you know what thank you is in his language?"
"No," Elin shot me down so quick I wasn't sure if he was saying he didn't know or if he refused to teach me. I pouted as he sped us through, as if they would change their minds and close us out.
"Do you really think this storm will last for days?" I quizzed despondently, gazing out at the horizon with its crashing waves. Even at a great distance they looked huge, like twice-my-height huge. I had been looking forward to seeing the sunny resort town first-hand.
"It could do," he confirmed, his humour mirroring my own as we cruised down a row of shut and darkened warehouses. "I sure hope it doesn't. Cid gets antsy when anything's late without good reason."
I waved to the sea, exclaiming, "I think this is good reason!"
"Yeah, once. He gets agitated if he hears the same excuse twice in a row."
"I'm pretty sure he's not that bad," I refuted, rolling my eyes.
Elin slowed down at the sight of one warehouse with the doors open and fully lit, silhouettes of workers gesticulating exaggeratedly in our direction. "Not always, but he can be; he's pretty passionate about his work. Makes him great to work for, in every situation except this one."
"I'll take your word for it, Elin," I relented as he swept us into the warehouse.
With an efficient haste that I presumed made them good at their jobs, they shepherded us away from our car, and up into a fairly large room that had been converted from storage space into residential. Before I really knew what happened I was perched on a sofa in front of a lightly-stoked fireplace with a thin blanket over my shoulders and a cup of hot chocolate in my hands. Peculiar, as it was summertime in the town named for the sun, and that it hadn't been particularly cold, and that we weren't actually out in the rain, but comforting nonetheless.
Elin was a little bit more switched on than I was, and was pacing on the other side of the room, having abandoned his drink and blanket in preference for a phone call to the boss. Not that he was doing too much chatting, only listening. When a beep signalled the end of the conversation, a solid thump followed, as he threw himself onto the single bed he had dropped his bag of supplies beside. "Someone else already use this excuse for something?" I teased, though I hoped my sympathy could be heard through my tone.
He moaned something that might've been words into his pillow, then turned on his side, presumably wanting his complaints to be legible. "I didn't even get to give my excuse, he knows I only ever call when something's gone wrong. That's a level of familiarity I didn't need to know I had with my boss."
Amused, I speculated, "Agreed, but if that's what you're fixating on, I guess that conversation didn't actually go that badly."
"Eh… as long as that storm clears up for tomorrow, I should be okay. Are you gonna be up much longer?"
"Not likely," I denied, rubbing my eyes tiredly, "just long enough to finish this."
"Well if anyone calls me in that time, can you pick up and tell them I'm alive but sleeping?" Elin requested, crawling under the covers.
"If you're expecting a call like that, why not call them first?" I enquired, brow furrowing. The man sighed heavily and slammed his hand down on his phone, as if I had asked him a favour.
"Fine, fine," he grumbled, and started dialling. He spoke very briefly, and while I tried to focus on the fire and tune him out, my ears had other ideas.
As soon as he hung up, I asked, "You'd have had me telling your girlfriend that you were asleep?"
"No," he admonished, sarcasm obvious despite the obvious lack of energy he expressed. "Fiancée."
"Really?"
He opened his eyes and looked at me then, for the first time in a while, and frowned, looking… pitying? "You think she wouldn't trust me?"
I gaped like a fish for a second, unsure of what to say, then closed my mouth and looked away. Suddenly I felt very jaded.
"Hey," Elin called for my attention, sounding a little more attentive. I looked to him, seeing he wore a kind smile. "Don't sweat it, you'll get there yourself one day. Goodnight, Aqua."
"Night, Elin," I returned pensively, my eyes returning to the fire as I sipped at my hot chocolate.
…
I could've been alarmed, that after the first relationship talk I could remember having, my mind went to one place in particular. I could've been, but I couldn't really bring myself to be, either.
After all, he was the only person who really knew me, right now. Plus, he wasn't lacking in the looks department. Lounging there on a dark sofa with his arms strewn over the back, with that frustratingly-perfectly styled hair, those bright and sharp-
"Sapphire, please," he drawled, "you don't visit in so long, and then you come to me thinking like this? You ought to be more careful, I might start getting the wrong idea."
"Consider that… idea struck off. Completely. Not even on the page," I refuted, inwardly fuming as I stammered over a word or two. It wasn't nerves, it was outrage.
"Fine," he relented with a heavy sigh, tossing me a smirk with a wicked gleam in his eye. "But you're just so cute when you squirm."
"Nope." Wasn't even gonna think about the implications of that sort of comment…
He hummed, "So you're the shy, play-hard-to-get type?"
"Cut it out," I complained, getting over my embarrassment enough to dip my toe into irritated.
He examined me wordlessly for a few moments, his expression hard to read, before he bowed his head and waved a hand carelessly, "Fine."
I waited for him to say more, and when he didn't, I cautiously thanked him, approaching and perching myself on the edge of the sofa, about as far away from him as I could be without standing.
"You should talk about it though," he advised, and chucked at the dirty look I threw him. "Not about me, about the conversation that has you visiting. You seem conflicted."
I sighed deeply, sinking back into the sofa, as he adjusted himself to look more attentive, popping his left knee up between us and twisting his body to face mine. I rubbed my eyes tiredly as I whined, "Do I have to?"
"I could continue assaulting you with the tired, unimaginative pick-up lines only you would find flattering, if you prefer?"
His pretty insulting offer was almost tempting if it wasn't for the fact that he obviously didn't mean it. I brought my knees up to my chest and quietly huffed, "Just never realised I was the cynical type."
"And how did you come to this conclusion?" he asked. It may have been a genuine question intended to get me thinking, but it sounded pretty patronising.
I fixed him with a warning glare, before looking into the distance as I answered, "Well, the guy knew his partner was A-Okay with another girl answering his phone for him. Now I've thought about it a little, I think that's really cool. I just have no idea why my mind just jumped to thinking that was weird at first."
"You're agitated because your first thought wasn't as open-minded as you feel it should have been?" he paraphrased, in such a way that had me grimacing. He made it seem so trivial.
"Well, yeah!" I confirmed, meeting his gaze determinedly. "What if my… my experience has changed that about me? I don't wanna be negative." Okay, now I was making it sound trivial. Ugh, I'm seventeen, not seven.
"Your experience has changed you," he confirmed without sugar-coating, but the serious relentlessness of his gaze kept me on the hook. "We all are conditioned by our experiences, in order to survive. That does not mean we cannot change ourselves, however."
I attempted a smile, but wasn't yet convinced, even though his words rang true. "It was instinctual though, I didn't even think, my mind just jumped there. How do you change instinct?"
He hummed thoughtfully, and stroked his chin, looking upwards. As if some great inspiration lay in the empty white overhead, which wasn't contained in the empty white in any other direction. "Perhaps the key is not in changing your instinct, but rather whether you act on that instinct or not. Your first thought could be to ridicule, but if you refuse to speak that into existence, perhaps that instinct will lessen, as you refuse to give it power over you."
"That… actually makes a lot of sense," I relented, smiling faintly as I pondered over it. "I hope it works that way. I don't even know why I jumped to thinking Elin's relationship was weird in the first place."
"Infinite in mystery is the Gift of the Goddess," he recited delicately, and met my eye once again, "we seek it thus and take to the sky."
My brain short-circuited when his gloved right hand reached out and curled under my chin, his thumb coming to rest millimetres from the corner of my mouth.
"You'll get there, one day," he spoke, ever-so-softly, echoing Elin's sentiment almost to the letter. I could've felt bad at how more profound I found his point to be when it was coming from this man, if my brain had rebooted.
…
The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I couldn't hear anything. Having drifted off to the sound of rain hopping off the roof of the warehouse, the lack of it was hard to miss. Sunlight beamed onto my closed eyelids, warming my face. I stretched languidly, yawning, and squinted into the light.
Elin was motionless and silent in the other bed, still dead to the world, so I was careful to not make too much noise as I rose from the bed. The covers were already on the floor, from when I was too warm in the night and had kicked them off. Approaching the window, which was exposed to the outdoors with no blinds or curtains, I looked out. Beyond the warehouses, the workers already milling around, beyond the docks and piers and boats floating nearby…
Blue as far as the eye could see. The calm water lapped at the shore, twinkling with the reflection of the morning sun. The sky was an ocean itself, deep and blue and free of clouds.
Sure, this world wasn't without its faults, but it certainly had its selling points too.
I recalled another shoreline, perhaps not as picturesque as this one, having a shorter beach and a thick jungle canopy not far inland. Costa del Sol's perfection was almost intimidating, whereas Mideel's flaws endeared me more to my old island home.
Then again, I wasn't that intimidated. Not like I was gonna pass up the opportunity to kick up some sand and bask in the sun's rays. It was summer, I was in a beach resort, I had zero responsibilities, and nowhere urgent to go. I could afford one day off. Not like any boats going to Junon would be leaving immediately. They had to arrive from there first. And there weren't that many boats around. How many was a lot? It seemed pretty sparse to me.
Justifications were still flying through my head as, lightning fast, I flew from the warehouse and from the dock. Someone shouted after me as I fled, but they wouldn't have the gates open if there was any reason I wasn't allowed to leave.
Boots thumped on hard roads, with a satisfyingly rapid rhythm. The wind that rushed past was equally satisfying, salty and fresh with the smell of the ocean and of happy watered plants. The sun beating down on the back of my neck, coupled with the exertion, brought a heat that started to produce a layer of sweat. I followed a bend in the road where the beach was signposted, anticipation building for my leap into the ocean.
The thin layer of trees receded on my left side, to reveal a stretch of vivid blue and gold. I took a swift detour, skidding down the raised bank and landing comfortably in the sand. Farther ahead along the beach, a small buzz of activity where people were already starting to congregate on the beach closer to the resort, even after the storm the previous night. Maybe they were feeling deprived of the sun with their hours of rain and clouds.
…Okay, that was too bitter. Come on Sapphire, you're better than that.
Still though. If I didn't want to be as red as a tomato by lunch time, I'd need to take some shelter before too long. My cheeks, forehead and the tops of my shoulders were already warmer than they ought to be.
I unbuckled my boots, kicked them off with haste and ran headlong to the shore. The roasting sand filling every crease and crevasse in my feet was as soothing a feeling as the cool frothy waves lapping at my toes and over my feet. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath through my nose, listening to the gentle splashing of the tide, accentuated by gulls cawing.
Everything was warm, and calm, and gentle. So serene. I could get used to this.
…I was used to this. I loved Mideel, had lived there for over a year, it was home to me. Costa del Sol was a tamer, more attractive version of home, so no wonder I found it so soothing.
But I wasn't home yet. I hadn't even made it to Midgar yet, let alone…
Well, if I was true to myself, I hadn't really thought about what came after Midgar. It was something that warranted thinking about, and yet I didn't want to think about it. After all, what if there was no after Midgar? Wasn't worth the effort planning if it wouldn't happen.
Also, you know, kind of depressing for that to be my first thought every time I contemplate it. So nah, best to pretend it's a non-issue and let future-me deal with it.
Deciding the peace was no longer as comforting as it had been, I treaded back to shore, retrieved my boots and walked along the beach towards civilisation. A little melancholy from my train of thought, I didn't think to call out a greeting to those who were gathered. Equally, they didn't greet me, and continued on with their work of setting up the beach for tourists; assembling beach chairs, parasols and tables. It didn't occur to me that they didn't want to see me there, and were ignoring me.
That particular possibility only became clear after I ventured into the town centre. Admiring the sandstone pavements, stairways and buildings so unlike anywhere else I had seen, I almost bumped into someone; stopping just shy and sidestepping so we didn't bump shoulders. The girl, who looked roughly my age, looked away from her friend to meet my eye, and her surprised expression turned to something darker.
"What are you doing here?" she uttered, wrapping an arm around her friend. The boy looked pained.
"Uh, what?"
My confusion was insulting, apparently, as her hackles rose. "You've got some nerve," she berated me, giving me a shove. After all my efforts to avoid us making contact, what a shame.
Someone called out "Yeah!" from somewhere to my left, drawing my attention to the fact that the beginnings of a crowd had started to gather, people stopped in their tracks and watching us, watching me. That was a lot of attention. I wasn't supposed to be attracting attention.
"Um," I murmured, brow furrowing as I tried to figure out what I was missing. "I'm sorry." By no small amount of luck, I managed to apologise with no rising inflection, so hopefully it was solid enough to be acceptable, for something I had no idea I must've done. Was it something to do with our arrival last night? Had we hit something? Someone? I didn't think so. Maybe they were superstitious, that our arrival had caused the storm? But the storm wasn't horrific, difficult to drive in maybe, but it didn't look like any damage had been done, if people were out setting up the beach after it already.
"Isn't that nice?" the girl jeered, glaring at me unrelentingly, "the SOLDIER says she's sorry." Okay, so nothing to do with our arrival last night then.
I hadn't anticipated anything like this. I had kinda thought SOLDIERs were untouchable, that they were beyond accosting from the general public; I certainly hadn't witnessed a SOLDIER getting called out by a member of the public, let alone just for being with SOLDIER. It made me realise that I was entirely ignorant of the current social climate, of how Shinra was perceived by the public at present. Back a year and a half ago when I first joined, I admired SOLDIERs, and had taken for granted that everyone mostly felt the same. Had their popularity dropped quite significantly in that time? The fact that this laidback resort town was gathered to witness the spectacle, rallying behind the aggrieved party, made me think so.
But these two, who could've been my peers, they must've gone through something. From the boy's pallid, vacant look, to the girl's anger, tears threatening to overflow; there was some level of grief in both of them. My heart yearned to comfort them, but as much as it pained me, I said nothing and walked back the way I came, head bowed. The silence was overwhelming, the guilt I felt over causing them harm greater still.
My thoughts churning as they were, the path I walked all but disappeared under my feet. Barely aware, I returned to the docks, to the warehouse. I crawled up from the bottom of the bed like a child in a thunderstorm, picking the covers up on my travels. Curling them tightly around me, I eventually fell into fitful sleep.
I heard Elin get up not long after, and leave the room quietly, trying not to disturb me. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to continue wallowing or if I'd have preferred him to bug me, but I let myself stay buried. Eventually I decided feeling like a slob was worse than feeling like a villain (not a result I would have initially predicted) and rose.
Frowning down at the unmistakeable sleeveless turtleneck and the loose trousers cuffed just above the ankle, I wished I had scrounged in Nibelheim for another change of clothes. How had I come to the decision that the SOLDIER uniform was all the clothes I would need?
A change of clothes to be a little less conspicuous (because so far it seemed it only brought me hardship rather than the easy passes I had initially anticipated) couldn't be anything but a good idea, and yet it had never occurred to me.
Mind made up as I absently rubbed at my left shoulder, I left our makeshift bedroom and hunted for Elin; he was sitting on the ground just outside the warehouse, squinting against the sun to examine a few playing cards, two dock workers mirroring his expression and pose in front of him. "Yo," I greeted offhandedly, sitting beside Elin and crossing my legs beneath me.
"Hey," he returned distractedly, plucking one card out from his hand and setting it down atop the stack between them. The two other players groaned loudly, one putting a hand to his forehead and letting his head fall backwards to gaze at the sky.
I couldn't help a chuckle at their exaggerated reactions. "What'd you do?" I queried, leaning forward to examine the card he played. He waved me back.
"A strategic, well-informed move, that—"
"He cheated!" one of his opposition argued, his eyebrows low over his eyes. The other nodded in agreement, gathering the stack of cards into a straightened deck and beginning to shuffle them fluidly.
"Poppycock," Elin dismissed them with a wicked smirk that all but screamed of guilt. "Anyway, what was it you wanted?"
"I was gonna ask a favour, but it can wait if you want to continue—"
"Take him, SOLDIER!" the one shuffling eagerly interrupted, while the other waved us to leave, proclaiming "We don't mind!"
Elin pouted, but returned his handful of cards to his opponent and got to his feet. I jumped up to follow, and we set off at a stroll in a random direction. "Have you heard anything about when the ships are due to arrive, or when mine is set to leave?" I supposed Elin, dedicated worker that he appeared to be, would have went looking for that information as the first thing he did this morning.
His frown as good as answered my question. "Waters still aren't settled, and the storm is heading towards Junon. Don't think they'll want to take any risks so it might be a couple days before we know anything more," he filled in, his shoulders slumped.
"I bet Cid wasn't too pleased to hear that," I mentioned wryly. Elin rolled his eyes. "So since you're not in any rush, any chance you could head into town and pick me up a change of clothes? I'll give you the money for it." I patted the deep pocket of my SOLDIER trousers where I kept my wallet, which wasn't exactly swimming with cash but it had enough to cover a shopping trip. I hoped. I wasn't really sure what the prices were here, but I assumed a popular holiday destination would have enough of a range of shops to get a spare outfit on the cheap.
Elin looked confused, so I relayed to him the lukewarm reception I had got when I marched into town earlier that day. With a grimace, he was nodding before I even finished. "Makes sense. It's good of you to go incognito for their sakes while we're stuck here for a few days." Oh yeah. He doesn't know I'm not a SOLDIER. It was alarming how quickly I had forgotten that. At least I knew his boss had kept shtum.
"Thanks," I said warmly. He held a hand towards me, palm upwards. It took me a few seconds to recognise the incredibly obvious gesture, after he had started laughing unfortunately. I scowled at him, decidedly less warm. "You don't need to go now. I won't go into town until tomorrow, maybe."
Elin rolled his eyes, curling his fingers in a beckoning gesture. "I'm heading there soon, you might as well hand it over now, save me a trip," he rationalised, prompting a relenting sigh from me as I pulled out my wallet and handed over a fistful of money. "Anything specific you're looking for?" he asked, counting through the gil in his hand.
"Make them practical, and comfortable. Nothing too vivid or attention-seeking. Probably one pair of trousers is fine, and a couple t-shirts. With sleeves. And something to wear over for if it's chilly, with a hood." The hood being particularly helpful for if I ever really needed to go incognito… but also if it rained.
His dark eyebrows high on his forehead, Elin laughed. "Is that all?" he joked. Oh, was I too specific? Somehow I had just defaulted into assuming he'd need all the detail in the world. Just muscle memory. For a time I couldn't remember; speaking to ghosts, with shadowed faces in blurred rooms.
I played it off, rolling my eyes with a smirk, sassing him with "Just don't want you to mess up with my money."
"Here I thought they'd pay well in the big city," he joked back, pocketing the gil I'd offered him. "I'll bring you your change, don't worry. So what are you going to do 'til then?" It seemed like innocent curiosity.
I shrugged. "Hang around here. Sleep. Get a tan." Elin rolled his eyes, so I held out my pale, sun-deprived arms in his direction, eyes wide. "I'm pretty sure I need it!"
"Go and get your tan, then," he dismissed me, "I'm off to do your shopping. Hey, maybe my fiancée should be concerned?" Brain stalling, it took me a few moments to catch up with the fact that he was actually teasing me for my slip the night before. He laughed, while I folded my arms and scowled at him, like a child.
"Your fiancée probably has more important things to be concerned about than if you're shopping for me. Like her taste in men, maybe," I rebuked, dodging the swipe he took at me and taking off towards the edge of the docks, leaving him in my dust.
I walked along the border of the docks for a while, enjoying the feel of the open sea breeze coupled with the feeling of the sun warming my skin. It was hard to believe just twelve hours before, even less than that, the place was being battered by one of the worst storms I'd ever seen.
Settling behind a building, I embraced my future sunburn with a smile, dozing off.
…
Sometimes, there was dimness. Not darkness, because there was always some kind of light. Shining under doorways, through windows, around corners, on desks. There was that emergency exit light, too.
Annoying as that was, the worst lights were the ones on my capsule. Bright white tubes, exaggerating the green tinge to everything I could see. Bright enough that I couldn't block it out, even when my eyes were squeezed so tightly closed it started to hurt.
Maybe I was a restless sleeper before it all, I wasn't sure, but it took me a long time to adjust to dozing when there was lights on. Maybe part of that was the eerie feeling of floating, or the heavy woolly feeling in my head, or the constant need to be on the alert.
Sometimes there was dimness. Those times were equally blissful and torturous in their calmness. They ended so quickly, without warning, and I scrambled for composure while my intruder, well… intruded.
There wasn't much scrambling, to be fair. Usually it was just closing my eyes and conjuring something of a serene facial expression. And then… focus.
Running. Running as fast as I could. Sure feet pounding on stable ground. The surroundings blurring enough to be completely indistinct. The wind lashing my hair, stinging my eyes, chilling my burning cheeks.
Waves lapping at a sandy shore. The smell of salt heavy in the air. The rustling sound of large leaves, brushing against each other by a gentle wind. Relentless heat from the sun beating down, the temptation to abandon pretences and take a flying leap into frothy waves.
After I've run a thousand miles. Once I've found a home that brings me peace. Enjoying the comfort and security of freedom, and being capable of taking it for granted like I once did years ago. Having forgotten the feeling of captivity, allowing myself the guilty pleasure of doing as little as possible. Retaining a long distant memory, of a specific moment, when a greasy old cretin got what was coming to him.
These were the thoughts that brought me peace, when the overhead lights came on in their relentless brightness, as a greasy old cretin sauntered into his lab, and did what all it was he did.
What that was? Fortunately, I had no idea. My, uh, 'room' for lack of a better term, must've been away from the main lab. The lights were motion-sensitive and came on for anyone entering, and nine times out of ten, that was for lab assistants making routine checks on whatever was of interest in this particular room.
The other instances, the one in ten, were of them moving such things in, or out, and of course, the occasional visit from the head of science and research himself.
It was a good thing I spent all of my time focusing on perfecting my poker face, because in those instances when he showed his miserable mug, that training was put to the test. And often, proved worthwhile.
"Hello, subjects," he announced, in a cruel mockery of jolliness (jollity? Jollility?), his arms spread wide as he strutted into the room, spinning three-sixty degrees when he reached the centre. "What a beautiful day it is."
Cursing myself for not having closed my eyes before he entered, I kept my eyes on him, and made a game of trying to get my top and bottom teeth as close together as possible without them touching. My latest tactic for putting the scientist to the back of my mind. It had worked reasonably well the last couple times, anyway.
His eyes locked on mine, his round glasses reflecting the bright lights overhead into my eyes. Resolute, I didn't squint. "How are we today, then?" he quizzed, plucking a clipboard out from the grasp of another scientist and studying the paperwork. The assistant began to speak, but the scientist hushed him, preferring silence to the sound of another's voice as he read. "Oh, my," he tutted after a heavy pause, "is it that time again? What a treat!"
Again? Couldn't be. I only just finished the last time. Hadn't I?
Couldn't be.
And yet, why else would he be here? The reluctant realisation dawned.
My composure cracked, as the scientist's manic giggles struck like thunder, echoing in the recesses of my mind.