"What part of this is confusing to you?" The young man snapped at the security guard. "I work here." Getting frustrated, he shifted the heavy backpack further up on his shoulder.

"Let me see your ID."

"My-… are you serious?" He chuckled, pulling his wallet out from his back pocket. "I understand that you don't typically work this early in the morning…." He started as he was digging through his unorganised wallet in search of his driver's license. "But I really, really hope that this small amount of power is enough to get your wife through the most disappointing two minutes of her life." He flicked the card towards the guard, who snatched it from him. "Did I hit a nerve?"

The security guard opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by heels clicking through the lobby tile floor. The young man didn't have to turn around to know who was coming their way, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh, knowing that if she heard his comments, he would surely be pulled into her office. His argument was always the same; it's not his fault that everyone around him is a moron and should do what he says no matter what.

"What's going on?" Dr. Cuddy questioned. "Not asking you," she cut the young man off quickly as soon as he opened his mouth to speak. She had no idea what might be coming from his mouth and wanted to avoid as much verbal back and forth as possible. "What's going on?" She asked again towards the guard.

He turned the name badge and driver's license towards Cuddy so she could look closer.

"Claims he works here?"

Cuddy flashed him a puzzled look, not understanding what the problem was. He had the proper identification, so what was the holdup?

"Yeah? That's Dr. House. He works for me. What's the problem?"

All the colour drained from the guard's face, doing everything that he could to avoid glancing at the smug look on House's face. Cuddy couldn't be too upset; if she didn't know who he was and he was trying to tell her that he was an M.D. here, she would be sceptical too. She understood the possible risks of hiring a twenty-five-year-old diagnostician, only thinking that patients would question his title and age, not the security guards holding all the proper identifications.

"That's my bad. Forgot my bald spot today." House ruffled through his thick, curly hair. "Won't let it happen again." Cuddy lightly smacked his arm, her way of telling him to shut up before he made things worse. Rolling his eyes, House held a hand out to the guard. "Can I go now?"

The security guard looked between the two before placing the cards back in his hands.

"Thanks. Dickhead."

"Okay!" Cuddy grabbed his backpack, forcing him to follow her along back to her office. Not before mouthing thank you, sorry to the guard as they walked away.

House backed away from her grip; she knew that he didn't like to be touched in any way, shape, or form. It always made him feel angry and trapped, which was difficult to describe. Still, Cuddy always reassured him that she understood what he was trying to say. If that was true, then why did she insist on breaking that boundary whenever it was convenient for her?

"Don't do that!" He shouted, readjusting his backpack again.

"Well, I wouldn't have to do that if you would just behave yourself!" She opened the door to her office, motioning for House to step inside. "You were acting like a child!" Cuddy continued the lecture as soon as the door shut behind her. "You're-"

"You're a doctor, yes, yes, I know." House rolled his eyes, dropping his backpack to the floor before sitting on his favourite spinny chair in her office, legs crossed before using the edge of her desk to get the chair to spin around.

"How many times-"

"At least ten times a day," House cut her off, giving himself another spin.

"I didn't-"

"Finish your sentence. I know."

"Stop." Cuddy placed a hand on the chair, stopping it instantly and almost throwing House off. "Focus on me."

House heard that strict tone before, every day, in fact. Something about this tone made him watch silently as she sat behind her desk. Cuddy was silently surprised that he didn't protest or make a crude comment towards her. She hated that the rare times that he would listen to her, he gave her that puppy dog look waiting for her to speak; it always made her heart drop, knowing that she had said something that must have dented his narcissist wall, even a little bit.

"What did we talk about last time we were here?" Cuddy questioned, trying to gauge exactly where he was mentally.

House glanced around the room before his eyes dropped to his fidgety hands. Suddenly, he didn't feel like a doctor who got pulled into his boss's office; now, he felt like a child being scolded by his mother for disappointing her. Did he feel guilty? He'd like to think not, but deep, deep down, he knew that he didn't want to be that vulnerable towards anybody. Not even to somebody like Cuddy and Wilson, who knew him the best.

"Hit a nerve?" Cuddy questioned, mimicking the exact words he told the guard.

Any and all guilt that House could have felt at that moment was thrown out the window, and Cuddy knew it. The way his eyes snapped up at her, giving her a slight glare, knowing precisely what she was trying to do.

"It's not my fault!" House snapped. "He-"

"Was doing his job. I understand it's frustrating, but he was just doing his job."

The two doctors stared at each other silently for what felt like forever, waiting for the other to say something. Cuddy has learned by now that the only way to beat House was to play along with him. If he was going to be rude towards her, she would fire back. Sarcastic? Same treatment. If anything, it made House impressed and even respected her more.

"We talked about how you handle things, remember?"

House mumbled something under her breath, leaning against his propped-up arm on the armrest. Good. She was getting somewhere.

"And… you have to be….?"

House tilted his head to the side as if he had no idea what she was going on about.

"Niiiceer…." She finished slowly.

"I am nice! It's not my fault that-"

"We also talked about how nothing is your fault. People aren't out to get you, House. How can I make you understand that?"

"Not in my experience," he mumbled.

"Well, thank God I'm here to protect you, huh?"

House wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or was trying to make him feel better. Hearing that she had to protect him was a massive blow to his ego. He didn't need anyone to defend him; he could handle himself.

"I don't need your protection."

"Uhhuh…. I want you to think of it this way, Greg."

"Don't call me that."

"…ory. If you were in any other hospital in the world, do you think they'd put up with your bullshit every day?"

"If I was also one of their best doctors? Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"House…." Cuddy pinched the bridge of her nose, knowing that this wasn't going anywhere at this point. Thankfully, she knew exactly how to get through to him. "Okay. If you don't want to listen, this is what we are going to do."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"House. Clinic work. Two hours. Now."

"That isn't fair!" House quickly stood up from the chair as if intimidating her would change the fact her mind was made up.

"Are you a doctor or a child?"

"Can't I be both? That's how people see me anyways."

"I'm not talking about this anymore. Go."

House snatched up his backpack next to the chair, throwing it over his shoulder as he walked towards the door.

"Oh, and House?" He stopped in his tracks, letting out a groan as he turned around. "Don't forget - your new hires start today."

"New hires?"

Cuddy rested her hands on her desk, staring at him, wondering if he was serious.

"Right… new hires. Of course… how could I ever forget."

"The doctors you had me interview for you. Remember?"

House waved a finger towards her, acting as if he knew exactly what she was talking about. All he could remember about any new hires was that he was given a stack of files of people he would have hired. Apparently, he ignored the fact that he was seriously hiring these people for his team. House couldn't remember anything about his apparent employees, let alone their names. Oh well. He could fake it.

"Remember." House tapped the side of his head before opening the door. "Of course. I remember everything."

"Straight to the clinic!"

"I'm going!" He called from the hallway.

Sitting in the waiting room, House had propped his feet up on the coffee table, reading an old magazine that he must have read at least a thousand times. When would they update their collection? Oh well, it's better than having to deal with all of these idiots who come in thinking they're dying when, in reality, it was just the common cold.

Another hour of doing this.

"House!"

Lovely.

He sunk further down into his seat as if that would hide him from his boss. If only that worked.

Dr. Cuddy snatched the magazine from his hands, tossing it on the coffee table beside his feet. Only for her to nudge him until he moved his feet from the table.

"Get up."

"Wrong magazine for that." He stared at the file that she was holding out to him. He let out a defeated sigh; whoever snitched on him from the reception desk didn't want to make his life easy. "What is this?"

"Good luck."

Rolling his head back, House let out a groan before standing up. He grabbed his backpack before flipping through the file as he started walking towards the exam room. A tear in the throat? Okay, that could be interesting.

House swung the door open, throwing his backpack in as hard as he could so it skidded across the floor until it bumped into the wall.

"Good morning!" House shouted upon seeing how worried the patient and the person with them were. Had to shake them up a little more; that was always the fun of it. "What's wrong with you?" He questioned, slamming the door shut behind him.

"I… are you…" The man trailed off, to be stopped when House held up his ID card.

"Dr. House. You're Robert Smith?" The patient only nodded, having difficulty wrapping his head around the fact that this was his doctor. Not considering the age, but the way he was dressed and his entrance. The oversized flannel shirt with a t-shirt underneath. "Ripped something in your throat?" House continued reading from the file.

"Yes, sir."

"Pain? Burning?" Dr. House questioned as he washed his hands and threw on some gloves. "When did this happen?" He grabbed a tongue depressor, sitting on the stool before pushing himself towards him.

"No pain…. I noticed it yesterday."

"No pain," Dr. House repeated under his breath. He waved his hand. "Open your mouth."

As soon as House pressed the tongue depressor down on his tongue, he flinched when the patient coughed on him. It only took two seconds for House to determine that…. There was nothing wrong. No rips, no tears. Nothing.

"Trying some kinky shit? Got paranoid?" House questioned, sitting back on the stool and looking between the two. "What am I looking for?"

"Do you not see it?" The woman with him snapped, motioning towards him. "Look again. You barely-"

"Well, I see who wears the pants." House let out a frustrated sigh, scooting back closer to him. "Open."

No blood…. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. No sore throat.

"I give up," House stated. "You seem to be a doctor. What am I looking for?"

The woman groaned, moving to stand next to House.

"It's right there!" She shouted, causing House to flinch again from the loud noise.

"Where?"

"Are you sure you're a doctor?"

House let out a frustrated sigh, trying to keep himself calm and under control. They were making it rather difficult.

"Show me then." House rolled out of the way, handing the tongue depressor over to her, knowing that he should never do it, but if she knew everything.

"Right there!" She reached into her boyfriend's mouth.

"Don't-"

Without getting his words out quickly, the patient began to gag, getting ready to throw up. House, being House, was no help to them. He watched smugly while the patient threw up on the woman.

"What's wrong with you?!" She shouted at him.

"I'm sorry!" Smith responded, wiping the saliva off his face.

At that moment, House could put two and two together, looking between them. Were they serious? Were they trying to waste his time, or were they two of the dumbest people he had the pleasure of meeting that day?

"Hold on…." House motioned for Smith to open his mouth again. "Are you both talking about this?" He pointed at the uvula.

"Yes!"

"I have just received a gift…." House mumbled to himself, standing up and grabbing his file from the counter. "You do know what a uvula is, don't you?"

The couple looked at each other, their faces drained of all colour at this point.

"That's normal. There is no tear. Thank your insurance for me."

Smith scoffed. "It is not normal!"

House rolled his eyes. "You. Open your mouth." He directed at the girl.

"Wha- Why?"

"Open."

Complying, she opened her mouth just for House to stick a tongue depressor in her mouth.

"See that? She has it, too."

"What does it do?"

"Keeps you from shooting food and water out your nose." House opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out so they could see his own uvula.

The exam room door opened, causing House to turn around with his mouth still open. Cuddy was standing there, confused about what she had just walked into. House had both hands in both mouths with his mouth open and his tongue sticking out.

"I… What is going on?"

"Teaching them what a uvula is. I'm actually glad you're here, Dr. Cuddy."

"Oh no…."

House moved away from them, ripping his gloves off. "Open your mouth."

"Excuse me?"

"Help me out with a consult."

"Are you kidding me? No, get away from me!"

"Help me out!" House gently grabbed Cuddy's face until she reluctantly opened her mouth. "See? Uvula. We all have one!" Cuddy pushed his hand away from her face. "Can you do me a favour?"

"What?" They both asked at the same time.

House grabbed a prescription pad from his back pocket, flipping it open to a new page.

"I need you both to start taking this."

"House!" Cuddy snapped upon seeing what he was prescribing them. "No!"

"This is a sedative," he continued, ignoring his boss's protest. "Please take three if either of you ever decide to waste my time again. Four if it's really idiotic. You'll be so high you won't even remember what it was." When he ripped it out and tried handing it over to them, Cuddy snatched it from him, pushing him out of the exam room. "I was doing my job!" House shouted upon hearing Cuddy apologise to both of them for his 'behaviour.' Which wasn't out of line in his eyes. They come in for stupid questions; he would waste their time equally.

"Aw man, it's all the joys of doing this, huh?"

House quickly turned around to see thirty-two-year-old Dr. Wilson standing behind him, eating a cupcake, which only made him a little jealous as he wanted one now.

"Where did you get that?"

"Doesn't matter."

They were both silent momentarily before something in House's brain clicked.

"Wait, what are you doing here?"

"IOU to Cuddy."

"Eesh. If you want, you can choke on your snack, and we both can get out of here."

Wilson laughed at this; he had to admit that there were times that House could be funny rather than downright rude and mean, so he had to give him credit where it was due. It wasn't often that House caused him to laugh. All the young doctor knew was that his expression would fall whenever he did, and his heart would drop into his stomach. For someone who was a know-it-all, he surely didn't have an explanation as to why this was his reaction upon hearing somebody laugh, especially since hearing it from anybody else was like nails on a chalkboard. House could feel his face heating up; he had to turn away quickly so Wilson wouldn't see.

The exam door swung open, and the couple practically stormed out without glancing at Dr. House.

"What did you do?" Wilson questioned, tilting his head to the side with a puppy dog look.

As soon as House opened his mouth to speak to clear his good name since he would never do anything wrong, let alone upset a patient, Cuddy quickly followed after. She shoved House's backpack into his arms, giving him that disappointed mother look.

"Your office later?" House quickly asked with a slight smile on his face, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Wow. You're so smart." Rolling her eyes, Cuddy stormed off, hoping she could smooth this entire thing over in case it somehow escalated.

"Think she's mad?"

"Nah. You would never upset her, House."

"That's what I'm saying. Probably just a slap on the wrist."

Wilson hummed, holding out half of the cupcake he had been snacking on to him. "Big day for you, isn't it?"

"What're you talking about?" House questioned before taking a rather large bit of the food. "Every day's a big day for me."

"Isn't it the day that your new hires start?"

"Interesting…."

Before Wilson could ask what the hell he was on about, House wandered off without another word.

"So, have either of you even met Dr. House yet?" Dr. Cameron questioned the other two newly hired doctors, trying to break the silence between them while they waited.

Chase and Foreman looked at each other, shrugging before looking back to Cameron.

"No… Dr. Cuddy was the one who interviewed me," Chase explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, me too," Foreman agreed.

"Man, he sounds like an ass," an unknown voice came from behind a magazine, sitting across from the three new doctors. The young man, who couldn't be any older than mid-twenties, quickly dropped the magazine to his lap. He didn't appear to be a doctor of any sort; he didn't have a badge or a white coat. "Why take a job if you haven't met your boss yet?"

The three doctors looked at each other, not understanding who he was or what he was trying to get at.

"Sorry?" Chase questioned.

The young man shrugged, sinking further into his seat as he tossed the magazine back onto the end table beside him.

"I'm just noisy, that's all." He pulled his phone out from his front pocket, quickly checking the time. "I think… he's late."

"You…." Foreman trailed off. Were there four of them hired? From what he understood, only three of them were supposed to have been employed for this position. The man shrugged, taping his foot against the tiled floor.

"You have got to be kidding me," Cuddy's voice came from behind the new doctors, earning a small smile from the man. "House… Stop messing around."

House? This was Dr. House?

"How-"

"Twenty-five," House answered, cutting Cameron off immediately, knowing what she was going to ask. He always got that question; in fact, he still had trouble getting in, even with his badge. He quickly bounced up from his seat, seeming eager suddenly. "Any questions?"

"Uhm…" Chase was trying to think of something to ask that had nothing to do with House's age or questioning his job title. Surely, he had a fantastic education if he was an M.D. and their boss. "What's your shirt say?" He thought of quickly.

House looked down, not remembering what he had on. Had to admit, he threw on whatever he could get his hands on this morning. Gaslighting isn't real. You're just crazy.

"Cool, huh?"

Cuddy hummed, folding her arms over her chest.

"We've talked about dress code, have we not?"

"We have. Not that I care."

"Okay…." Cuddy pulled out three brand new pagers from her white coat pocket. "If any of you need anything at all, feel free to get a hold of me."

"Wait, wait, wait…." House called out before Cuddy got too far away, pulling out his own pager from his pocket. He spun it around in his hands before looking up at her. "Why do they get new ones? Mine-"

"Looks like shit. Yeah, I wonder why." Cuddy turned and began to walk away. "Take care of your stuff, and maybe you'll get nice things." She called from down the hall.

Tossing the scratched-up, sticker-covered pager in the air, House attempted to catch it only to, whether intentionally or accidentally, miss it as it fell onto the floor. The thud caused House's head to shoot up just as Cuddy looked over her shoulder, flashing him a look that screamed he needed to stop messing around. No wonder he didn't get anything nice.

"Fifty bucks for whoever wants to give me theirs."

Silence.

"Well, you guys are no fun."

House let out a frustrated groan before he dramatically bent down, sweeping the small box up from the floor. Without saying anything, he began to walk away from the confused group, assuming that they were going to follow after him. When he didn't hear their echoed footsteps, he only motioned for them to follow without saying a word.

"That's our boss?" Chase whispered to the others.

"I'm gonna say… unfortunately?" Foreman offered.

"C'mon!" House shouted for them as he repeatedly pressed the elevator button.

Exactly five times, Cameron couldn't help but notice. She watched closely after the fifth press, mentally counting the seconds until he started pressing the button again.

Waits five seconds before hitting the button precisely five times.

Not that it mattered in the slightest. Cameron just had a way of observing people and could quickly pick up on their little quirks, although, from a couple of minutes of meeting Dr. House, she could tell that he had many quirks.

The elevator beeped loudly, letting the group know the doors were about to open. It pulled Cameron out of her thoughts as she stepped inside with the rest of them. She watched as House pressed 2 once again five times in a row. Anxiety? OCD? Maybe he thought something terrible would happen if he didn't push it in a sequence.

While she was busy trying to piece together bits and pieces of House's behaviour, she didn't take in the bigger picture. The first lesson they were going to learn was that nobody was able to read House before they were read by him. Although, he couldn't help but be slightly impressed at how she was going about it, staying silent, watching his every move. This could make for exciting employment.

The entirety of the walk from the elevator to House's office was them listening in silence as House rambled on about something they couldn't even keep up with. One second, they thought they were on track with the conversation, only for him to switch it up and say something completely off the wall and off-topic. Chase would be lying to himself if he said he wasn't reconsidering his position here, but a job like this comes rarely, so he'd have to suck it up and deal with it.

"And this is my office!" House stated loudly as they approached the overly open office space with way too many windows and his name printed on the door. "Don't bother me unless you're dying." House shrugged a shoulder. "Or, I guess, if a patient is dying. Unless they're dying, and it's your fault. In that case, deal with it yourself."

He opened the door, but he stopped just as he was about to go inside.

"Let me make one thing clear: if anyone touches anything in my office… moves anything even an inch, I will kill myself." He drummed on the plastic door frame. Exactly five times while looking directly at Cameron. "Got it? Any questions?"

Chase awkwardly raised his hand.

"Yeah. You."

"What should we do now?"

House looked at the small end table that was cluttered with patient files needing his attention. Well, he had them now, so he could delegate what he found too boring out to them.

"Save some lives. That's why you're here, right?" House scooped up the files and loose papers before practically shoving them into Chase's arms. "Go crazy."

"Wait, so that's it?" Foreman quickly asked, not believing this was how his first day would go. "You're handing off your patients?"

House shrugged.

"What's the point of you, my little ducklings, if I can't assign you work?"

Ducklings?

"Tell me, without too much thought, what does that first case bring to mind?"

Feeling flustered all of a sudden, Chase flipped the folder open, scanning for keywords or anything that would be important. It seemed that House already had the answer in mind, so he didn't want to disappoint him by giving him the wrong answer.

"Uh… I would say… low blood sugar?"

"Exactly!" House hit his open palm against the door frame. "Boring! Deal with it."

"What if it turns out to be something else?" Cameron questioned, only to regret it as House chuckled, hanging his head down before lifting it against quickly, hopefully not giving himself whiplash.

"Diagnose. Treat. Move on. Unless they have rabies, a brand new plague, or superpowers, I don't want to hear about it. Go on." He waved his hands to indicate that he wanted them to shoo. "Have at it. Sink or swim. Or don't, I don't really care. I'm sure you'll be just fine. Hired you all for a reason, right? Get to work."