13

Planet Hulk

"I don't wanna fight your sister, that's a family issue!" Bruce argued as he and Thor sat on the dingy alleyways of Sakaar city.

"No, she's an evil being." Thor replied, furrowing his brow at the thought of her.

"I don't care what she is, I'm not fighting anymore beings! I'm sick of it, I just told you, If I turn into the Hulk, I am never gonna come back again. And you don't care!"

"No, no, I'm putting together the team. Hulk is the fire!"

"Wait, you're just using me to get to the Hulk…"

"What?! No!"

"It's gross," Banner said, looking away and shaking his head. "You don't care about me, you're not my friend."

"No! I don't even like the Hulk, He's all like 'smash, smash, smash!'" Thor replied, making small punch motions with his hands. "I prefer you."

Banner's mouth twitched into a weak smile. "Thanks."

There was a pause.

"But, if I'm being honest," Thor broke the silence, "When it comes to fighting evil beings, he is very powerful and useful!"

"As am I," came a voice from street. They both looked to the source of the voice. There, casting a shadow over the two, stood Kratos, armed to the teeth and clad in Olympian armor.

"Brother!" Thor replied, "Glad to see you!"

"Wait, he's here too? How did you all get here?!" Bruce asked, still processing the fact that he was on another planet.

"I fell from the Bifrost hours ago, same as Thor."

"But...I've been here for a week.." Thor replied, "How did you...oh, the time thing."

"What?" Kratos asked.

"This planet is...odd. The time moves differently here. A few seconds for you was a week for us. The Grandmaster told me." Thor explained.

"The Grandmaster?" Kratos asked for clarification.

"Long story. In any case, now we really have a team!" Thor said, raising an optimistic eyebrow at Bruce. "Okay Spartan, settle this for us. In a fight, which would you prefer, Hulk or Banner?"

"The green one." Kratos replied without hesitation.

"There, see?" Thor said to Bruce, smiling cheekily.

"Okay, Banner is useful too!" Bruce said defensively.

"Is he though?" Thor asked, cocking his head to one side and squinting with doubt.

"How many PHDs does Hulk have? Zero. How many does Banner have? Seven!"

Thor gritted his teeth in frustration.

"Fine, you don't have to fight anyone. With Ghost at our side, that makes up for it. But we are in danger here, so we have to move." Thor said to the group.

Thor looked to the ground, then picked up a rag and threw it over his head.

"What are you doing with that?" Bruce asked.

I need a disguise, I'm a fugitive." Thor replied.

"I need a disguise." Banner replied.

"You are the disguise." Thor said, pointing to Bruce's human body.

"I'll be Tony Stark." Bruce said as he put on a pair of sunglasses that lay in the breast pocket of the blazer he was wearing.

"What?" Thor asked.

"Yeah, Tony and the gypsy! And the...angry man." Bruce said, pointing to Kratos, who was frowning and not really paying attention to their conversation.

"No, no. You're not Tony, you're Bruce Banner."

"Then why did you dress me up like Tony?"

"Because you were naked."

"Enough!" Kratos said, raising his voice. The other two looked at him. "You squabble like old men. If we are in danger then we will pick your alibi on the move."

"He's right, let's get moving." Thor replied, then stopped to look at Kratos' armor and weapons.

"What?" Kratos asked, looking down.

"You don't exactly blend in either, captain tattoos." Thor noticed.

"I am NOT wearing a rag on my head." Kratos replied.

"FIne, but you stand out like a...giant armored grey man with a talking head on his belt." Thor stuttered.

"Trust that I will not get us captured." Kratos replied, rolling his eyes.

The group exited the alleyway into the streets of the city.

"Where is Loki?" Kratos asked.

"I'm not sure, last I saw him was at the Grandmaster's palace, but my primary concern is Asgard and Hela. We're gonna go to Asgard, defeat her, and Banner will never have to think about the hulk again." Thor said, his arm around Bruce's shoulder.

"All right." Bruce replied.

Almost immediately after speaking, Bruce was blasted in the face with green powder. He took off his glasses and looked on as a parade praising the Hulk passed by. People danced in the hundreds, wearing green masks and carrying giant Hulk-faces on poles.

"This is bad." Thor said, turning to where Bruce was just standing. Thor turned to ask Kratos if he saw where Bruce went, but Kratos was also nowhere to be seen..

"Banner? Ghost!" Thor called out as he scoured the crowd for them.

/

"You're just going to leave them there? Who knows what trouble they'll get into!" Mimir said as Kratos moved towards the Grandmaster's palace. The massive tower could be seen in the distance, dwarfing the rest of the city many times over.

"My only concern is Loki. Thor's concern is Asgard." Kratos replied, scowling at the mortals that stared at him and at Mimir as he walked by.

"I understand, but they're your brothers! They need you!"

"Thor and Banner are capable. They will find their way to Asgard and defeat the crone. We will find Loki and-"

"And if he's not at the palace? What if he went to go find Thor? Loki could be anywhere! Best we stay with the group, don't you think?"

"They will slow me down. If he is not there, I will ask the Grandmaster. Then I will ask the guards, then the peasants, until I find him."

"Weren't you just trying to teach the new Avengers to work as a team?"

"Do not lecture me, head."

"Well, I think you need some advice, so I will lecture you. Why else am I here? Now stop walking and listen to me, you stubborn troll!"

Kratos stopped walking through the crowd and stood, still looking to the palace.

"Fine. Speak."

"I can't watch you abandon Thor and Banner in this city. For what? Some mischief god who doesn't even like you, I might add? Thor may reach Asgard on their own, yes, but what happens when Hela kills him and you weren't there? What if she comes for Earth? And trust me, Thor is strong but he just isn't on Hela's level. And Bruce, well, Bruce is a coin flip. I can't stop you from abandoning them for your own ends, but you know you will regret it. Faye would-"

"FAYE...would want me to find our son! And she would want me to help..."

Kratos debated in his head. Find Loki alone, risk Thor's death. Help Thor, potentially save many lives, but risk losing Loki, again...what would Faye do?

It's to prove to the recruits that we listen to each other; that we're a team. As a fellow soldier, you know how important that is

Steve's words returned to him.

Are you a vigilante...or are you an Avenger?

Kratos looked down at the ground, then to Mimir. Reluctantly, he turned around and headed back for his team.

"You won't regret this, old friend." Mimir said, relieved.

"That is yet to be certain." Kratos mumbled.

Kratos entered an open area, filled with hundreds of citizens, parading and dancing, cheering Hulk's name.

"How do you think Bruce got this...following?" Mimir asked.

"I do not know." Kratos replied, scanning the area for signs of his fellow Avengers. A creature caught his eye. Some strange tall alien, clad in a leather chest plate, began to roar in the direction of a small, glasses-wearing man.

"Banner!" Kratos called out as he began to push his way through the crowd. As he did so, he watched as Thor stepped in between the creature and Bruce. Then, the alien spasmed and fell to the ground. Behind the creature was a woman, who seemed to know Thor. Kratos pushed harder through the dancing citizens to reach them.

"...It's my disguise." Thor explained to the woman.

"But I can see your face." She retorted.

"Not when I do this, you can't," Thor replied, covering his face with the rag on his head. "Hey, Spartan, where did you go, I was worried sick!"

"I was sidetracked." Kratos replied, having walked up to the group.

"Who is this man? Do I know him…?" The woman asked, scanning the large stranger.

"He's with us." Thor responded.

She nodded while still scanning the large demigod, then turned to walk away. When she realized no one was following her, she turned, rolled her eyes and nodded her head in the direction she was walking. Thor turned to Kratos, shrugged and nodded to follow her.

"You know this woman?" Kratos asked Thor as the group walked through the crowd behind the strange woman. He looked to her clothes, her face tattoo, it all reminded him of something from long ago.

"Oh, yes, quite exhaustively at this point." Thor said, scratching the red spot on his neck where his obedience disk was implanted.

"And she can be trusted?"

"Not really, but she may help us on our journey. And she's Asgardian." Thor replied.

"Ah, that explains it." Mimir mumbled.

Asgardian. That explained the armor, but not the face tattoo. What did Mimir mean by 'it'? It was on the tip of his tongue, but Kratos couldn't remember. It wasn't important. He had other things on his mind.

"We will find Loki before we leave this place." Kratos announced.

Thor looked to Kratos, then to Mimir, who was giving a subtle nod, his eyes wide.

"Uh...yes. Of course." Thor said dismissively. "He may be your son, but he's my brother. If it will grant you peace, then we will do it."

Kratos huffed with acknowledgement as Thor returned his gaze to Bruce. Bruce was still bewildered by the parade as they walked by, confused by how an entire city could be so enthralled by such a creature as the Hulk.

Finally, they reached an open door. The group followed her inside.

"What are those things on her eyes, are those people she's killed?" Bruce asked, finally away from the parade and free to bring his attention to the woman before them. "She's so beautiful and courageous."

"Who is this guy?" The woman asked.

"He's a friend." Thor replied as they entered the room.

"Who, me? I'm Bruce." Banner said, rubbing the green power from the parade out of his hair with Thor's rag.

"I feel like I know you." The woman said, furrowing her brow.

"I feel like I know you too." Bruce replied, grinning with confusion.

The group continued to walk through the green halls of the worn-down building. At the end of the hall, the woman stopped by a locked door and turned around.

"Look, I've spent years in a haze, trying to forget my past." She began as the others listened.

"Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink and forget, and to die one day."

"Your past never leaves you." Kratos said coldly. "No matter what you try. All you can do is...try to make up for it."

"Exactly. I can't turn away anymore." She agreed. "So, if I'm gonna die, it may as well be driving my sword through the heart of that murderous hag."

"Stabbing her in the heart does not work. I have already tried." Kratos mentioned.

"Oh...well, then I'll cut her goddamn head off. What I mean to say is...I'm on your team." The woman said. "Has it got a name?"

"Yeah, it's called the Revengers." Thor said.

"The Revengers?" The woman asked, her entire face twisted with criticism.

"Because I'm getting revenge, you're getting revenge." Thor said, pointing to the woman, who pursed her lips in agreeance.

"Do you want revenge?" Thor asked Bruce.

"I...uh..I'm undecided." Bruce replied.

"How 'bout you, brother?"

"Do not talk to me about revenge." Kratos mumbled.

"Fair enough." Thor said, raising one eyebrow and taking an awkward sigh.

"Also, I've got a peace offering." The woman said, grinning as she swiped her wrist over the panel on the door. The door slid upward, revealing an empty room where Loki was chained to a stone on the floor. Kratos looked down at Mimir.

"Ah?" Mimir whispered cheekily.

"Surprise..." Loki said sarcastically, looking down at the floor.

The group entered the apartment. Thor picked up a small statue and threw it at Loki's head. The statue bounced off his forehead and hit the floor with a loud clang.

"Ow."

"Just had to be sure." Thor said, then noticed Kratos' confusion.

"Astral projections. Magic and...stuff." Thor said.

"Hmm." Kratos replied.

"Hello, 'father'." Loki said. "Or so you claim to be."

"You are well?" Kratos asked.

"About as well as one can be, chained to a rock." Loki replied. "Is that Bruce?"

Bruce hesitantly entered the room.

"Maybe I should let big green out if this guy's involved." Bruce said to Thor.

"NO, no." Thor replied, "Not necessary. Small room. Big Hulk."

The woman returned from searching through her closet, and brought out a sword wrapped in blue cloth.

"Is that a Dragonfang?" Thor asked.

"It is."

"My God." Thor replied, pulling the silver blade from the cloth. "This is the famed sword of the Valkyrie!"

The Valkyrie...that's where he knew her from.

"The ones who were cursed by Odin." Kratos grumbled. The Woman stopped walking and turned to Kratos.

"Who are you?"

Kratos stayed quiet as the two held eye contact. The woman inspected him up and down as she walked around him.

"The pale skin...the tattoo...I couldn't imagine it but...you brought the Godslayer to my apartment?!" The woman turned to Thor.

"It's all just a big misunderstanding." Thor replied. "He's...blunt, but generally an alright fellow."

"I doubt that." The woman said, turning back to Kratos. "The Jotunn lover, and the killer of Baldur. And it wasn't Odin that cursed them, it was Hela. And it wasn't a curse...it was necromancy."

"Necromancy?" Kratos confirmed.

"She's the goddess of death, what do you think she does with the one's she's killed?"

"Bring them back as her slaves…" Mimir sighed. "I didn't realize the Valkyrie we fought were…"

"It's a touchy subject for me." The woman interrupted, taking her eyes away from Kratos. "You fought them?"

"I released them of their fate. That is all." Kratos replied.

"Then...if you granted them rest, then perhaps you are as Thor says. I suppose I'm in your debt. I'm Brunnhilde." The woman said.

Kratos nodded his head and looked over to Loki.

"Sakaar is about as far from Asgard as any two known systems," Brunnhilde explained. "Our best bet is a wormhole just outside of city limits. Refuel on Xandar, we can be back in Asgard in eighteen months."

"Xandar is gone." Kratos explained.

"What?" Brunnhilde exclaimed.

"Ashes and blood are all you will find there." Kratos added.

"Besides, we aren't going to Xandar. We are going through the big one." Thor explained as he pointed the Dragonfang to the large wormhole seen through her window. The giant portal could be seen dropping thousands of tons of smoke and ash through its red event horizon. The massive portal dwarfed any of the other wormholes that dotted the sky.

"The Devil's anus?" Brunnhilde asked, looking rather uncertain.

"Anus?" Bruce called from the kitchen in between bites of his newly-made sandwich. "Wait, wait, wait. Whose anus?"

"For the record, I didn't know it was called that when I picked it." Thor replied.

"That looks like a collapsing neutron star inside of an Einstein-Rosen bridge." Bruce said, looking through the window at the gaping hole in the sky.

"To travel that close to a neutron star is suicide." Kratos grunted.

"Not necessarily," Bruce said. "If we can find a ship with inertial dampeners, a shield or hull dense enough to withstand spaghettification…"

"We will need another ship. That thing will tear mine to pieces." Brunnhilde explained, grabbing a bottle of alien alcohol from her living room table.

"She's right," Thor chimed in. "We need one that can withstand the geodetic strain from the singularity."

"And has an offline power-steering system that could also function as the onboard computer"

"Perhaps with an interface, a USB or something like that. I could probably assist with any troubleshooting. Just plug me in and we are good to go." Mimir added.

"And cupholders, because we're gonna die, so, drinks!" Brunnhilde said as she raised the bottle into the air.

"Where will we find such a vessel?" Kratos asked.

"I don't mean to impose-" Loki said, just before Brunnhilde launched her bottle at him, shattering against the wall and sending glass everywhere. Loki took a moment before he reopened his eyes.

"But the Grandmaster has a great many ships," Loki continued. "I may even have stolen access codes to his security system."

"And suddenly you're overcome with the urge to do the right thing." Brunnhilde commented cynically.

"Heavens, no." Loki replied. "I've fallen out of favor with the Grandmaster, and in exchange for codes and access to a ship, I'm asking for a safe passage through the Anus."

"You're telling us that you can access the garage without setting off any alarms?" Thor asked.

"Yes, brother, I can."

"Okay, just...a quick FYI…" Bruce said, gathering in the group. "I was just talking with him a couple minutes ago, and he is totally ready to kill any of us."

"He did try to kill me." Brunnhilde added.

"Yes, me too." Thor said, "On many, many occasions. There was once a time when we were children-"

"I will take him." Kratos interrupted. "I gave an oath to protect him."

"I'm not going with him…" Loki called to the group.

"You think you can handle him? He's slippery." Thor said.

"It doesn't matter. I will take him." Kratos replied.

"No, he's not!" Loki yelled.

"Yes I will, and you will learn about your people and your ways, and you will enjoy it!" Kratos yelled back. Loki scoffed and looked back down to the floor.

"If we're boosting a ship, we're gonna need to draw some guards from the palace." Brunnhilde mentioned.

"Why not set the beast loose?" Loki asked. Bruce flinched.

"Shut up." Thor said, pointing an accusing finger at Loki.

"You guys have a beast?" Brunnhilde asked, grinning.

"No, there's no beast, he's just being stupid," Thor replied. "We're going to start a revolution. And Kratos is gonna distract the hell out of those guards."

"Revolution?" Bruce asked.

"Distract?" Kratos asked.

"I'll explain later." Thor said.

"Who's this guy, again?" Brunnhilde asked.

"I'll explain later." Thor repeated.

/

Kratos waited outside for his army to appear from the stadium. There was the sound of gunfire, and an explosion or two before the ragtag group of gladiators left the gates of the coliseum. The first one out appeared to be made of rocks.

"Korg?" Kratos asked.

"You know, you're the second one today to ask me that. I didn't know I was so popular, but I guess I was on TV a few times." Kork replied, his New-Zealand accent irritating Kratos more with every word. "I don't do autographs, though, big rock hands, I'd just break the pen."

"Enough." Kratos said impatiently. "You are all now under my command. Our job is to create havoc in the streets and force the Grandmaster's forces out of the palace. Are you prepared?"

"Sorry...I don't mean to sound ignorant, but who are you?" Korg asked, "I mean, we just got here and you're standing there like we're supposed to know who you are, giving us commands and such. Just seems like we're not on the same page, you know? I'm sure you're a nice guy, and wouldn't assume otherwise, but we just need some clarification, if that's not too much trouble."

Kratos sighed loudly.

"Do you not want to avenge your imprisonment?" Kratos said through gritted teeth.

The group of gladiators all mumbled in agreement, nodding their heads and looking at each other.

"Then follow." Kratos said, pulling his blades from his back and letting the flames engulf the metal. The crowd oohed and aahed at the sight of the magic blades.

"Man, those are cool. Do you think they'll cut me? I'm pretty tough, you know. All made of rocks. Just as long as you don't turn them into scissors. That's just a little rock, paper, scissors joke for you-"

"SILENCE!" Kratos yelled. "If you utter one more word I shall test your theory!"

Kratos turned to the city. "NOW EARN YOUR FREEDOM! ENSURE THEY REMEMBER YOUR NAMES!"

"IT'S KORG! GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY! ROCK CREATURE HERE, WITH FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS! HERE TO START A REV-"

"ENOUGH, ROCK!" Kratos roared.

Kratos activated his helmet and charged into the streets of the city, followed by the roaring gladiators, armed to the teeth and ready to make sure the Grandmaster felt their wrath.

/

Amidst the chaos of the city, a strange creature, wearing a black hood and long robes, ran through the streets. The sword in his hand called for him to kill everything, anything around him, but he knew better than to wield his master's sword, no matter how loudly the blade called to him. The figure crammed past the Hulk fans and random citizens as they screamed for their lives. Guards ran past, charging towards the source of gunfire, barely noticing the strange creature as it carried the glowing blade through the streets. The cloaked figure made a hard turn to the right into a doorway just in time to avoid a plasma round. The blast hit the doorframe, covering the figure in dusk and rock, but it kept running. It ran down the hall to a door, swiped his wrist over the panel and walked through the opening door. Inside, a dark circle of similarly-hooded figures waited around a table for his return. He approached the circle, breathing heavily, and placed the sword in the High priest's hands. The priest motioned to him to join the circle. He ignored the pleas for mercy coming from the table and joined the circle.

"Vocamus exterminatore." The priest spoke through his mutated mouth, his many rows of rotten teeth glimmering in the candlelight as he spoke.

"Ad adolebit hac tellure, donec nihil est, sed cinis." The others chanted in return.

"Uri omnibus planetis donec vitae est memoria." The leader chanted, turning to the screaming naked man hooked down to the stone table in the middle of the circle. The man squirmed and struggled as the hooks pulled his skin in unnatural directions.

"Statera debet reversus est ad universi." The priest unsheathed the sword and stabbed the man in the heart. The man's eyes opened wide, then turned black. His twisted face of agony turned to a malicious grin.

"My lord." The priest bowed before him. The man, now grinning and pale, levitated off the altar, ripping his skin free of the hooks holding him down.

"It has been too long." Abaddon noted, looking down at the sword in his gut. He pulled it out, letting the wound heal instantly.

"We are all ready, my lord." The priest said, removing his hood and lowering his head. The priest was a Kree, or at least he was one, years ago. His face was a horror to behold, an extra eye on his left cheek, a tentacle protruding from his neck, and his skin was adorned with hooks and chains, hanging from every appendage his face could handle.

"You have done well. The balance will return. Your place in the highest levels of the afterlife awaits you."

"We are ready."

As his followers bowed their heads, Abaddon began to morph into his angelic form. The skin on his pale face melted away, revealing the skull underneath, adorned with the symbols of that on his sword. His empty black eyes began to leak blood, and in a flash of red energy, the fleshy body of his host body became clad in armor so black, it seemed to swallow what little light the room held. Dark robes covered his legs. From his back, enormous razor-sharp wings sprouted, each feather made of the same metal that his sword was forged from. Blackness swallowed the room. For each of those robed figures, the last thing they saw was the wings of Abaddon, the glow of his sword and the grin on his skeletal face.