The Robbed That Smiles

Chapter One: The Beginning

Schhh...Clink!

The sound of the wrist irons being clamped down echoed in the hotel foyer, silencing the mischief god's mirthful retelling of the latest trick he'd pulled. A moment passed and then another, before either Loki or the guests he'd been regaling reacted. The latter's response was to sidle away uncomfortably after a minute, while the former simply frowned at his older brother.

"Really?" Loki raised an eyebrow and sighed, automatically testing the irons clamped to his wrists. It was unlikely, but part of him hoped that the handcuffs were fake and that this was the set up to some elaborate prank. After all Midgard's yearly mischief day was approaching and Thor's human friends kept insisting on including the Asgardians in Midgardian traditions. "What have I done now?"

"Don't." Spoke Thor, shaking his head and sighing exasperated at his brother. "You know why."

Loki contemplated for a moment, before shaking his head. "Can't say that I do. Perhaps you can enlighten me to what I've done wrong this time, brother?" The mischief god asked, following along beside his brother as Thor led him towards the hotel doors. "Last time it was shouting 'fire!' in that building with the seats and large screen and the puffy corn."

"Popcorn." Thor muttered, correcting his brother's word choice out of habit. Ever since Asgard was destroyed and the Asgardians had to resettle on Earth, Thor found himself being teacher and guide to his people. Such that he corrected his brother without thinking.

Loki scowled, tensing at being treated like an ignorant child at lessons. "I knew it was called that."

Thor rolled his eyes, leading his brother to the Avengers transport van that had over the past few years been used to transport Loki more than anyone else. One or two of the Avengers had even cheekily dubbed it the 'Loki Apprehension Vehicle,' going so far as to paint those words onto the van. Until Loki, apprehended for some misdemeanor level of mischief, had noticed and quipped about going to the 'Lav.' With a straight face.

It took a moment and reread for Stark to have the van logo changed back to its previous one. It took over a year for Loki to get tired of the joke - especially with how it annoyed certain of the Avengers. Thor was one of those least affected, though mostly because it reminded him of how his brother used to be as a child. Before envy twisted him. Sure, even as a child Loki used to do things like disguise himself as a snake and stab Thor in some misguided game, but his younger brother had done so for laughs. Laughs and attention, rather than to cause any real harm.

"How was I to know it was against Midgardian laws? You didn't even know." Loki continued, referring to an occasion seven months back when the mischief god had yell 'fire' in a crowded cinema. That prank had escalated quickly, very quickly and if it hadn't been due to Stark helping to negotiate community service and a fine, Loki would've been exiled from another Midgardian country. (The first being Norway where the displaced Asgardians had settled, the second being the UK. Then China. He'd been unofficially exiled from New Asgard since his first week on Earth.)

"This isn't about the cinema incident." Thor said after pushing Loki onto the back passenger seat of the van.

"I know." Loki muttered, taking one look at Banner already sitting in the seat behind the driver's and sat down. In the middle seat, knowing from previous experience that his brother would be sitting on the other side, preventing him from reaching either door. "If it were, you'd also be on the hook. You 'encouraged' that prank according to the Midgardian judge when you failed to discourage me shouting 'fire' when only you, I, and the Warriors Three were in the cinema."

"..." Thor frowned, rubbing his forehead above his eyepatch, a headache starting to pulse.

"You encouraged that?" Banner questioned, looking over at Thor.

Though all the Avengers knew about the cinema prank incident, only Stark and Rogers knew that Thor had been deemed partially at fault. Or that the Warriors Three had also been charged same as Loki, having encouraged the mischief by laughing along with the prankster; only stopping when Midgardians ended up hurt in their panicked rush outside. Their punishment had been being sent back to New Asgard and being forbidden to travel outside it for six months a piece. The Midgardian judge had wanted to do the same with Loki, but couldn't due to Loki having no 'home country' other than the US at the time. (Thankfully that judge hadn't known of Loki's Jotunn heritage, otherwise the Midgardians may have demanded the mischief god sent to Jotunheim.)

"I...didn't know it was…"

"Illegal? Wrong? Potentially dangerous?" Banner said, attention focused on Thor. The thunder god frowned but said nothing, offering no excuse. Banner sighed and shook his head. "I'm starting to suspect Loki is not the only one at fault for his behavior."

"I'm right here." Loki growled, eyes gleaming with annoyance. "Mind including me in your conversation which clearly involves me?" There was a pause, during which Banner glared at Loki wordlessly. The mischief god gulped, remembering his previous encounters with the man and his 'green guy' alter-ego. "...you're not still annoyed from that prank last week?"

"Of course not. Like I'd be annoyed you created an illusion of the city being destroyed and making me think I did it." Banner spat sarcastically.

"I…" Loki fumbled over what to say, his first instinct was to say it was just a prank and that Banner should lighten up. That instinct was curtailed by a survival one and the painful memory of going up against the other guy. "I apologize and will not do that again, you have my word."

Banner just gave Loki a look, one that screamed 'yeah, right' but also held the threat of 'you better not.' Sensing the hostility, the memory of being crushed by the 'other guy' playing in his subconscious, Loki turned to his brother. At least Thor knew his sense of humor and mischief, and while his brother could beat him senseless in a fight, Thor wouldn't kill him over a prank.

"So...care to tell me what I've done this time to be transported in this l…."

"Don't even dare call it the 'lav.'" Came Spark's voice from the front of the van through the video-radio dashboard. In order to be able to curtail Loki's antics whenever the mischief maker went too far, while also maintaining enough Avengers at the ready in case of true hostiles, Stark had fitted the van with self and remote driving capabilities.

"...lovely vehicle?" Loki asked, smirking at getting the playboy billionaire to call the van by the short-lived moniker. "I assume something serious if you're sending the Ban-Hammer." He quipped, gesturing from Banner to Thor as he spoke. His eyes got a more mischievous gleam to them when someone on Stark's end laughed.

"Loki…." Thor sighed and rubbed the skin around his eyepatch, starting to lose his battle against the headache pulsing there. "You can't seriously not know why you're in trouble."

"Because of a prank." Loki replied flippantly, stating the obvious, and earning groans and eyerolls in response. "I'd just like to know which…." He fell silent as the direction the van was heading clicked, and a smug, mischievous grin appeared on his face. It became more pronounced the closer they got to their destination and the enormous statue.

"That. That is why." Thor scowled, pointing towards the Statue of Liberty. Or what was supposed to be the Statue of Liberty, but was now a gigantic statue of Loki.

"Oh...that." Loki drawled, keeping his grin subdued as he spoke. "Wonder how that got there."

"Very funny." Banner muttered, not at all amused.

"Care to explain why you replaced Lady Liberty with a statue of yourself?" Stark asked through the video-radio dashboard.

"...I look better?"

"As a statue? Yes, I am starting to think you would be better as just a statue." Stark retorted, the last of his patience fizzing out. His thinly disguised threat causing Thor to protest in defense of his brother. "So do a lot of people down here in Washington. I've been informed that if you don't fix this in the next 30 minutes, you're going to be spending the rest of your life in a subterranean base in Antarctica."

"That's one of Midgard's polar caps, right?"

"Yeah. And I already informed the president you'd be able to survive there easily, Frosty."

Loki glowered, his good humor gone at the nickname born from the avenger learning of his Frost Giant heritage. Taking a few more moments to weigh his options, including one in which he eliminated the billionaire and took over the avengers, Loki shrugged and lifted his bound wrists. "Fine. Take these off and I'll get to it."

"No. Spell comes off first, then cuffs."

Loki laughed uncomfortably. "What spell? My magic's dampened." He showed his forearms, indicating the iron cuffs, which had been made to curtail his magic.

"Wha…DON'T TELL ME YOU ACTUALLY REPLACED THE FUCKIN' STATUE OF LIBERTY WITH AN ACTUAL FUCKIN' STATUE OF YOURSELF!"

"Of course not." Loki replied, calming Stark down a mite and smirking when he heard Rogers chastising Stark about his language. "My statue stands regally above all. It's not doing anything so vulgar as 'fucking.'"

"Loki!" Thor gaped at his brother, his head pounding like all the armies of the dead were stomping around in his skull. "You…."

"You FUCKIN' idiot!" Stark hollered. "Thor, I know Loki's your brother, but I am going to build the strongest fucking prison and drop him into the ocean. Or a volcano."

"Loki. Come on. Undo your spell."

"It's not a spell." Loki replied, calmly. Once more showing the iron cuffs around his wrists. He looked at Thor, asking him wordlessly to take off the shackles. "Thor. Brother. I won't be able to restore the statue in 30 minutes. I can cast an illusion spell to make it seem restored though. At least until it is."

Thor ground his teeth, about ready to deny Loki the opportunity to fix the prank so the mischief god would have to suffer the consequences. In the end he sighed and unlocked the cuffs. "Fine. But you're not going anywhere until the statue is actually restored."

"All right." Said Loki, already waving his hand, turning the statue of him back into Lady Liberty. Seeing this Thor sighed in relief, his headache a bit less biting and Banner visually relaxed, leaning back in his seat. "A bit dull. But if the Midgardians prefer it…" The mischief god shrugged, the next second teleporting from the van before either his brother or Banner could react.

0000000000000

Stephen Strange frowned, one of the ancient one's forbidden tomes laid open on the table. Quietly he read it, aided in understanding the archaic script by his photographic memory and experience with the other tomes. His magic was also a boon for reading this particular book - although written in Sanskrit script, the language was odd, as though it was written in code. Or some obtuse form of poetry and metaphor.

On top of that, the text itself kept changing. Whenever he wasn't looking directly at a word or sentence, it seemed to exist as a jumbled mess of multiple words. Like some kind of literary Schrodinger's cat. His magic helped to slow the jumble, so that the constant changing of words didn't overwhelm his peripheral vision, or give him a headache. Though he couldn't shake the suspicion that he was missing out on a lot by doing so. This book was one that required manual reading in order to truly absorb its knowledge, it was regrettable that he didn't have enough time to study it at leisure.

'Well, that isn't entirely true.' Strange thought and glanced towards the display holding the Eye of Agamotto. He considered briefly using the Infinity Stone's time magic on the tome, but dismissed the idea. Even if the use of time magic wasn't dangerous, he suspected that reversing or pausing time on the Schrodinger-esque script wouldn't give him the effect he wanted. It could even backfire.

Ttrrring!

The alarm trilled through the Sanctum, pulling Strange's attention away from the tome. The sound indicating the intrusion of a non-Sanctum cleared sorcerer into the building, albeit one that wasn't necessarily hostile. That alarm was much different and made to be silent except to Sanctum resident wizards.

Brow furrowing, Strange opened a magic window beside him to check on who his visitor was - and immediately rolled his eyes. Not even bothering to close the ancient tome with the Schrodinger text, he teleported Loki to the library. Right across the table.

"Wh…." The mischief god scowled, barely able to stop himself from falling face forward on the hardwood floor. Even though he'd expected it the moment he entered the building, being teleported by Doctor Strange's magic was disorienting. Something Loki suspected was done purposely to annoy him. Or perhaps as payback over when he'd attacked New York years ago. "You don't have to do this every time."

"I disagree. Just last week you tried 'borrowing' one of the books in the forbidden section of the library. And that was after you asked to 'look at' the Eye of Agamotto." Strange crossed his arms and beheld the trickster with a piercing gaze. "If it wasn't for your brother vouching for you, I'd block you from even touching the Sanctum door, let alone entering through it."

Loki scowled and rolled his eyes, grumbling at the acknowledgment that his brother was the reason Strange tolerated him in the Sanctum library. Strange simply continued gazing at the mischief god, his expression bored and also highly observant.

"I assume you're here to lay low while your brother and Stark smooth things over after your most recent bout of mischief." The wizard drawled and with a wave of his hand, blocked off access to the more dangerous and powerful books in the library. Only the more innocuous volumes were left accessible to the trickster's peruse.

"Seriously." Muttered Loki, not surprised but still annoyed by Strange hoarding away most of the interesting parts of the collection. "There's no need to treat me like a child that may accidentally burn the house down."

"I know." Countered Strange. "I'm treating you like an adult who may deliberately burn the house down and call it a prank." He waited, barely reacting to the glower Loki gave; the next moment the mischief god shrugged and took one of the remaining books from its shelf.

"I don't know why you bother. It's highly unlikely that the Libraries on Asgard didn't have the equivalent or superior volumes on their shelves. Thus I already know all this 'dangerous information' you're trying to keep from me." Loki mumbled, skim reading through the book in his hands. His pretense of indifference didn't fool Strange, who noticed the mischief god side-glancing over at his own open book.

"If that's what you think, you're free to check out the city library." Strange retorted, returning his attention to the forbidden volume in front of him. "But I assume the people of New York won't be too happy seeing you after today's statue switcheroo. And yes, I know about it."

Loki started to respond but then just shrugged, and sat down against the shelf, returning to his book. It may have been more becoming to sit at a table or desk, but he generally preferred reading in a more relaxed position. "...what did you think?"

"Of what?"

"Me beating you to it."

Stephen Strange blinked and closed the book he was reading, turning his attention back to the trickster. "You're saying you switched the Statue of Liberty with a statue of yourself, just to throw a wrench into my and Wong's similar plan for an April's Fools Day prank?"

Loki nodded. "Yeah."

Strange groaned, and gaped at Loki as though the mischief god was the strangest and most foolish being he'd met. "You do realize that April first is two whole months away?!"

Loki shrugged. "So? It's a Midgardian tradition I can wholeheartedly get behind. That and their Autumn tricks and treats holiday."

The human sorcerer thought a moment, about to correct the mischief god and his misunderstanding, but instead shrugged and returned to his ancient tome. It wasn't his job to explain to the god why pulling an April Fool's Day prank before the actual day was terrible and bound not to be given leeway. His job was simply to protect the Earth, and so far as Thor's brother wasn't planning to or had caused actual harm, he was content to focus on actual threats.

The primary one being the being or beings behind the uncovering of the Infinity Stones in recent years, and more importantly why whoever they were hadn't made a move in years. That was why he currently was pouring over the ancient tome, trying to pin down its Schrodinger script and to make sense of its metaphors.

It had, on his initial skim through, mentioned the stones. But try as he did to pinpoint which page it'd appeared on, Strange couldn't find the mention. He could conjure it in his thoughts thanks to his photographic memory, but the actual page was gone. Like it had never existed. That rankled the human sorcerer more than the inactivity of whatever beings had maneuvered the Infinity Stones into the Avengers' paths.

"...Infinium." Loki muttered, leaning over the table and the book Strange was reading. His own eyes scanning over the pages and narrowing in interest at the fluctuating text, part of which he'd read aloud. His reading of the script was much different than the human sorcerer's and in the back of his thoughts sparked a memory of an Asgardian text he'd read as a child. One about an artifact that changed form often but was mostly seen as either tapestry or tome, with text that was never the same on subsequent readings. "This book…"

"W…." Strange shut the book and glared at the mischief god, wondering how Loki got so close without him noticing. His intense focus on the ancient text was probably to blame. "Go read one of the other books." He gestured towards the bookshelves, essentially shooing the mischief god away.

Loki simply gave Strange a look that said 'you did not just tell me what to do,' although with a bit more attitude. Rather than saying anything, the mischief god grabbed for the book, managing to touch the cover before Strange could warp him away using portal magic.

Brrrclasssh! Bbrrtoomm!

An explosive crashing sound rocked through the building, knocking the book from either man's reach as well as throwing the two sorcerers across the room. Following the first shockwave came similarly powerful tremors whose origin points were widely scattered across the city and outside it.

"Shit." Strange muttered, pulling himself up while Loki uttered similar curses in both English and Asgardian. The tap of footsteps approaching caused both of them to tense and ready themselves for an attack. Stephen Strange in order to defend the city, and Loki for self-preservation.

The owner of the footsteps scoffed as another shockwave rippled through the building, knocking the two sorcerers off balance again. Long enough for her to pick up the ancient tome and skim through it, noting that it was her target.

"Put that back. This isn't a lending library." Strange quipped as Loki lunged at the interloper with knives drawn, and he opened a portal to grab the book back. The human sorcerer's eyes widened when his fingers grasped empty air, passing through the book. That same second, Loki halted his lunge and turned his attack quickly towards a space five feet towards the left where the thief stood.

"Illusions? You really think you'll trick me with such paltry magic?!" The mischief god laughed, seeming about to strike the other when he 'disappeared,' showing off his own illusion magic. He then appeared behind what at first glance seemed to be empty space, but quickly proved to be otherwise as he pressed the blade of one of his knives against the thief's throat. "I'm Loki, of Asgard. Master of…."

"Loki? Your name's Loki?" The thief asked, raising an eyebrow and ignoring Strange taking back the ancient tome. All her attention was focused on the god of mischief, as though the damage to the building and her brief bout against them were afterthoughts. "Child of Laufey?"

Loki scowled at the reference to the father who abandoned him. "Only biologically." He spat, before referring himself as Odinson and god of mischief. "Anyway, if you know I am, you must also know who my brother and his friends are. You and whoever sent you won't get away with this attack."

"..." The thief didn't reply, a peculiar expression on her face. As though digesting information that was difficult and befuddling. Before either sorcerer could say anything, she burst out laughing. The sort of laughter that follows a self-deprecating joke or gallows humor. She muttered, through her laughter. "It was a dimensional rift. Dimensional."

"Is this a joke to you?" Strange approached, his expression one of bewildered anger as he gestured towards the damage inside and outside the building. "You just destroyed a massive amount of the city and you're laughing?"

"Wha...oh." The thief shrugged and gave a quick wave with her hand. Immediately the damage to the building and city outside vanished, to the astonishment to both men. The only part that remained damaged was the wall, the table the two men crashed into, and a few of the bookshelves. "There. Better?"

"Wh…."

"You cast an illusion over the entire city?" Loki asked through clenched teeth, part impressed and part annoyed that he hadn't realized it sooner. He immediately grabbed the thief more firmly and pressed his knife tighter against her neck, both reactions the result of wondering if she was an illusion.

"Hey. It's cool. I'm not going anywhere." The thief replied, tensing as the knife blade nipped at her skin. "And yes. It was pretty much an illusion. Took a lot fucking out of me, too."

"All right." Strange muttered, brimming with a mix of annoyance, impatience and indignation. Within just a motion or two of his hands, he bound the thief with magic binds around her hands and feet. He further secured her above an open portal in the floor at her feet, ready to drop her in an endless pit at the very first attempt at escape. "Who are you? Who sent you? And why are they after the Infinium tome?"

The thief grinned, giving another terse laugh. "No one sent me. I thought to use the book to get home." She paused and swallowed back another chuckle. "As for who I am…" She glanced towards Loki, the mischief god scowling annoyed at Strange easily taking the thief from him. "...you're not going to believe me."

"Try me." Strange replied, glaring at the thief.

The thief in response simply pointed towards Loki.

"Why are you pointing to me?" Loki blinked, confused but also immediately noting the mistrust rising in the human sorcerer's eyes. He bristled and shook his head. "No. I have nothing to do with this woman or her attempt to steal that book. I…."

"That's not what I meant, quim." The thief scowled at Strange, her voice more menacing without laughter. "I am my universe's version of him."

"...Come again?" Strange gaped at the thief, while Loki stared wide-eyed at the woman, searching for evidence of her lying. He blinked and gave his own breathy laugh when he detected no sign of deception.

The thief narrowed her eyes. "Name's Lokki. Goddess of Mischief, last Jotunn, and should be ruler of Asgard, Midgard, and the rest of the Nine Realms." She cocked her head to the side, her sea-hue eyes glaring at the human sorcerer.

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A/N: I hope you like this. It's my first MCU fanfic.

As I'm unsure of how to quickly differentiate Loki from female Loki that doesn't require the constant description of gender except by tweaking the spelling of the name, I opted to use Lokki to refer to the female. (Both spellings are to be pronounced the same, it's just to allow those reading this to be able to quickly discern which is which.)

Furthermore, when I started writing this, I hadn't watched Infinity Wars, nor Endgame. (Or even Captain America Civil War). Thus, my writing of canon characters and such are bound to be off, and some of the important plot points of some movies are missing from this. (Namely the break up of the Avengers).