Chapter Twelve
Emma found a good routine in the two weeks since her peace negotiations with Regina.
Being friends with her ex-girlfriend was so much easier than dealing with gnawing guilt for what she had done on top of everything else that she had to deal with.
Having Regina now truly understand the effects of alcohol, and how it could distort intentions, was a weight off her shoulders.
It obviously didn't absolve her indiscretions, or the continued decision to lie when she was very much sober, so it didn't mean that she would acknowledge her feeble hope that they could be more again at any point in the future, but friendship was more than what they had.
It allowed her to comfortably settle into the routine of going to school, working at Granny's and more successfully managing her homework with Regina's help on the subjects that she struggled the most with.
She didn't get to see her as often as she would like and they had yet to make non-academic plans, but Emma Swan was not in a position to complain about what she had.
Not complaining had gotten her this far without giving into her desire to cry and rage against the version of her life she would have never volunteered to have.
Today's break in routine was fraying her resolve.
Mary Margaret Swan announced that it was at last time to face the truth that she needed new clothes.
She was exclusively wearing sweatpants that were becoming more uncomfortable with each day that went by, welcoming her stomach to continue growing.
With nothing to stop this expansion, the answer was glaringly obvious while also being the last thing she wanted in the world.
She had to switch shifts with Ruby, giving up precious dollars to go to the mall with her mother to pick out a serviceable selection of maternity clothes.
At school, it was easy to ignore the stares and whispers from her peers.
The gossip had definitely died down since it had initially swept Storybrooke High School but it would likely never be banished completely from the halls.
Teenaged pregnancy was out of place enough for such a small town, but having it come from an out and proud gay student who was in a relationship at the time made it all the more dramatic for them.
Regina was a brick wall when it came to her personal life, so other students tended to try and glean information from the one who was always close to a breakdown with her imbalance hormones and all of the pressure.
Her mother holding up a frilly shirt amidst the soft laughs and whispers from a group of cheerleaders not far from them was tipping the scales towards tears at this moment.
She was aware that it was a cliche to believe that the laughs were directed at her, but in this case, she thought it was a good bet.
The embarrassment was getting too much to handle, regardless of how hard she tried to shield herself by hugging herself.
Mary Margaret absolutely noticed her discomfort, otherwise, she wouldn't have rushed through the rack to grab an item she would never usually suggest for her, her smile was tight as she encouraged with obvious effort, "This looks nice."
The laughs seemed to increase in volume in conjunction with the heating of Emma's cheeks and she stared down while she replied, dejectedly, "It's not really my style, Mom."
Stowing it hastily back onto the rack, Mary Margaret nodded in understanding, returning to pursuing the items that had not been designed for Emma's 'style'.
She said, hopefully, "That's okay…there must be something here…"
"Do we need to do this now?" Emma sighed, resisting the nervous tick of touching the bump pushing at her sweater, it would bring attention to the reason that this had become so urgent.
Her mother turned away from the rail, glancing at the group of cheerleaders.
If they were in private, the woman probably would have hugged her and reiterated that she shouldn't worry about what others thought of her.
It was advice she had given many times but had cropped up more frequently as of late.
Being a school teacher, she had the good sense not to do this in front of the girls whom she was curling her lip in disdain towards.
It took some clear effort for Mary Margaret to keep her distance as she said, "I know this is awkward, honey. You need clothes that will fit you."
"We could find them online," Emma argued.
"You need to try some on first and then we can look online," Mary Margaret replied using the same words that she had that morning when Emma tried to convince her that this trip was unnecessary.
Emma sighed again so Mary Margaret offered, reluctantly, "I can talk to them if they're upsetting you, sweetheart."
"No!" Emma rushed out, dropping her hands from her midsection, "Please don't Mom."
Mary Margaret thinned her lips, narrowing her eyes at the cheerleaders but stopped herself from letting out whatever lecture was likely brewing in her mind, returning futilely to the rack.
Emma stepped closer, hoping to find one item that was serviceable among the ones that her mother was flipping through at impressive speed, also wanted to get out of there quickly.
It was Mary Margaret's turn to sigh as she reached the last garment and she peered over her shoulder and Emma could guess that she was attempting to think of a more appropriate store.
Emma followed her gaze after hearing the laughing had diminished, hoping to find that they had gotten bored and had finally moved on.
Instead, she found that they had gotten sidetracked by the arrival of Regina Mills and Daniel Colter into the store, one of them going as far as to point and laugh at the teen who was surveying a pair of jeans while her friend hung his head back in sheer boredom.
The cheerleaders were probably postulating as to how awkward this could be seeing as not many students of Storybrooke High School were aware that they no longer hated one another.
Their next mistake was to resume their inane giggling, catching Regina's attention.
Daniel touched her arm, and Emma guessed that he was telling her that they were not worth her attention, but when Regina caught Emma's eye line, noticing the crimson shining from her features, she tore her arm away from her friend and was on the move.
It took this for Emma to register that her ex-girlfriend was holding an iced coffee, not that it stayed in her grasp for much longer as she went by the cheerleaders and made a show of 'dropping' it.
The shriek from the lead cheerleader officially put an end to the laughs and giggles.
"Oops, sorry," Regina said, loudly enough for the entire watching store to hear.
Daniel stood a few paces behind Regina with his closed fist covering his smirk.
"What the hell?" the cheerleader demanded, patting at her uniform that was destined to be stained.
"I said I'm sorry," Regina replied in faux confusion, acting as though the reaction genuinely hurt her.
It welcomed the beginnings of a smirk to Emma's lips as well.
The cheerleader huffed, a moment from stamping her foot as she exclaimed, "Freak!" before storming away, her followers scurrying after her as a pack.
Emma's smirk grew into a smile as Regina picked up the empty cup and an employee approached to take it, looking as though they were assuring her that it was okay and that they would clear it up.
From the distance, and with the store returning to its regular volume, Emma could make out that Regina was sincerely apologising to the employee and that they were telling her that they would clear it up, potentially impressed with her actions.
Once this was settled, Regina and Daniel approached Emma and her mother.
"Hello, Regina," Mary Magaret greeted, gratitude dripping through her tone and demeanour, "I trust that was an accident?"
"Of course, Mrs Swan," Regina replied and Mary Margaret hummed, eyeing the smirking but silent Daniel as Regina asked Emma directly, "Is everything okay, Emma?"
Feeling the heat engulf her face harshly, Emma gestured at the rack that was labelled in letters too large for her liking, "Yeah…I need to get some…you know…"
Regina tilted her head at the collection, not needing much time to observe, "These don't really look like your style."
Emma nodded in agreement, shrugging defeatedly but she perked up as Regina added, "We could help you find some if you want?"
"I was promised one store!" Daniel protested, apparently coming out as an instinct.
He clamped his mouth shut though when Regina smacked his arm without looking at him as she said, "We can go for lunch after, it won't take long."
"I…" Emma blinked disbelievingly, attempting to discern whether this was some kind of wistful hallucination. Had they returned to a point where Regina wanted to help make her feel better? Surely shopping for maternity clothes with her ex-girlfriend should be an impossible eventuality? Not wanting her hesitation to rob her of this golden opportunity that would surely reduce the ridicule she would face in this humiliating endeavour, she swiftly untangled her tongue, "That would be great. Is it okay, mom?"
Mary Margaret, reaching into her purse to produce her card, shook her head, smiling easily at Regina gratefully.
It was a far cry from the ration to when she found the girl was in her home without permission.
"Of course not, sweetheart," she replied, handing over the card, "Get whatever you need."
"Thanks, Mom," Emma said, quickly kissing her cheek before following after Regina and Daniel, the female of the pair seemingly having an idea of where she wanted to go.
As ever, shopping with Regina was an efficient affair, one of the many things she appreciated about her.
Their time together was generally always more interesting than what the mall could offer.
Just under an hour later, they found a couple of decent pairs of jeans designed for those in Emma's condition, comfortably cushioning the bump. Other than that, she helped her to select a few t-shirts and hoodies in larger sizes to be extra baggy.
If Emma wasn't so preoccupied with the perfect choices, she may have noticed Daniel's uncharacteristic silence while he appreciated the ease with which the former couple were interacting, even if it was just over clothes.
This excitement soon turned to disgust, however, in the food court when Emma returned with some fries in chocolate sauce that took some convincing to obtain.
He swallowed his burger bite hard as Regina slipped in beside him with a salad, also wrinkling her nose at Emma's choice.
"That is disgusting," Daniel accused.
"Normally, I would agree with you," Emma replied, opting not to dwell on the reason that the craving was present. This was the most like a teenager she had felt in a while and telling them that her son wanted the gross combination wouldn't aid that so she popped one in her mouth, the salty sweetness somehow delicious to her. Satisfied that the cravings would be at bay for a few hours at least, she said, indicating the bags gathered on the empty chair beside her, "Thank you by the way…to both of you."
This was promptly shattered, however, as a wave from a few tables over caught Emma's attention.
Belle French was sitting with a few friends who seemed to be egging her on to wave in Regina's direction. Stranger still, Regina waved back, a distinctive pinkness overcoming her cheeks.
Attempting to remain as calm as was befitting of their relationship status, Emma said, questioningly, "I didn't know you knew Belle?"
Regina cleared her throat, looking squarely at her food, "I don't really, not well anyway."
"You haven't talked to her since the spin the bottle, right?" Daniel offered and Regina's fork stilled as the pink became crimson and she peeked up as if to see Emma's reaction.
On her part, Emma was giving all she had to school her features appropriately.
She was the last person to judge no matter how much the idea put her off her food.
Regina scowled at her friend as Emma cleared her throat and asked, hearing the jealousy she was trying to squash as she picked at her lunch, "You and…Belle played spin the bottle?"
Somehow in her scrambled thoughts, she was able to pinpoint that the night of the last party when this was liable to have happened was also the last time that Regina Mills had kissed her.
She had thought it was solely the alcohol but was there more to that night than she had thought?
Not deterred, Daniel suggested, "You should probably talk to her, Gina."
"Maybe," Regina said shortly, swiftly changing the subject, "So Emma, do you still need help with Chemistry?"
Emma nodded, only partly glad that they were moving on but also struck by the idea that Regina would probably benefit from doing the same in her romantic life.
The question became, how painful would it be to witness that inevitability as her friend?
S
Regina was enjoying being friends with Emma.
Hatred and resentment weighed her down ever since their break up, it certainly did nothing to make her feel better about the betrayal.
The night of Eric's party had proven that.
Being friends with her made it easier to keep her feelings in check whilst maintaining enough distance that she didn't end up dwelling upon whether there was any chance they could rekindle what they had.
She hadn't the faintest idea what Emma's college plans were but having a son would surely complicate the future that they had discussed so many times.
If she could still get into Harvard, they couldn't attempt to share a dorm even if Emma would want to stay away from her child for at least four years.
There was also the unfortunate need to factor in Neal Cassidy into all of this.
Having never uttered a word to the boy, Regina wouldn't pretend to know what he wanted, but he and Emma were not inextricably linked for the rest of their lives.
Overall, Regina preferred not to think about it all and helping Emma with her schoolwork did little to force her into having to do so.
Seeing Emma on the verge of tears in the store at the mall had opened up the avenue for another emotion for the girl that Regina had been trying to quash: compassion.
Was there any need to laugh openly at someone who was so obviously already embarrassed?
Before the party, Regina might have swerved out of the store but she couldn't ignore a friend in need, especially not when she knew exactly how to help.
Shopping with Emma, while Daniel surprisingly made no protests, had been actually nice. She even found herself partially forgetting why it was that she needed new clothes once they'd got past the maternity jeans.
The incident at lunch had shattered the illusion that they could easily remain platonic.
If they were only friends, Regina wouldn't have felt guilty about playing spin the bottle, she may have even told Emma about it, but then, Emma wouldn't have been so overtly jealous if they were in a place for that kind of conversation.
Changing the subject to school was as effective as it always was for her and they fell back into their conversation, albeit slightly awkwardly after the revelation that Daniel had so unceremoniously dropped.
Despite this, the mall had proven that they were capable of interacting normally, so she had no qualms about accepting an invite to the movies with Daniel, Mal, Killian and Emma.
It wasn't anything they hadn't done before with the difference that the seating arrangement would have to be altered.
She was now going to the movies to watch the actual film rather than to hold her girlfriend's hand and pretend to be scared whenever she got to pick a horror film.
On this occasion, she'd insisted on an easy-to-watch superhero flick to ease them back into a group dynamic that could hopefully further set up a future starved of resentment and pressure.
So why was it that Regina was nervous?
On more than a few moments leading up to the harmless plans, she came up with excuses.
Mal and Daniel would not believe she had more school work to do and claiming to be sick would invite interrogation from both of them, the unfortunate consequence of being so close was that they knew when she was lying.
It was for this reason that she had steeled herself for what should be a simple task, she could be nice to Emma while devoting most of her attention to the others in the group.
In fact, it had been a while since she had spoken to Killian, she could use up a lot of time catching up with him!
As she entered Storybrooke's small movie theatre, she had successfully convinced herself that she could do this, that she would feel so much better when this was over.
This confidence came crashing down with two quick beeps from her phone as soon as she had her ticket scanned.
Pulling it out with a bad feeling that she already knew what the text message would be about, she found the group chat containing one message from Mal and another from Daniel.
Apparently, Mal was being forced to babysit her cousin while Daniel had completely forgotten about an assignment for English and his mom wouldn't let him out until it was done.
Regina knew instantly that they were lying but for what purpose?
She was about to whip around to escape but it was evidently too late.
"Hey," came a shy greeting.
Regina bit the inside of her cheek but managed a smile as she turned to Emma, appearing much more comfortable in one of the outfits they'd chosen together.
In fact, she looked pretty good, if she kept the hoodie on, Regina could pretend that the bump wasn't there.
If that was the case, Regina would be hugging and kissing her girlfriend, instead, she hung back while Emma fiddled with the oversized sleeves.
"Hi," Regina replied, holding up her phone as if she needed evidence, "Mal and Daniel can't make it."
Furrowing her brow, Emma said, "That's weird, Killian can't either, he said he's not feeling well."
Panic flared within Regina, and she had to assume it showed on her face without permission as Emma looked down, her gaze glued to her sneakers.
Regina was pretty sure that Emma understood the reaction though.
They'd made unprecedented progress compared to the day they had broken up but this was too intimate regardless of the lack of inherent romance in the activity.
Friends watched movies together all of the time, right?
Just as Regina settled onto the idea that they could do this, Emma glanced to the side, noticing the same thing that she did.
Belle was across from them, checking her phone, wearing a frown before she put it away and began approaching the exit.
"Hey Belle," Emma called over before Regina could protest.
The girl turned to the voice, coming over to them after a second of hesitation, "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," Belle replied, sighing after a cautious glance at Regina, "Merida couldn't make it so I was just going…"
"Our group kind of fell apart too," Emma said, "Maybe you could…"
Belle frowned, "You want me to watch a movie with the two of you?"
Regina was beginning to shake her head, struck by how weird that would be.
She had been meaning to apologise properly to Belle for the events of the party but it wasn't supposed to go beyond that.
She certainly didn't want to invite her to spend time with her and her ex-girlfriend.
This objection was obliterated, however, as Emma suddenly placed her palm against her own back and said, "Actually, I was just telling Regina that my back hurts, I should probably go and lay down. I wouldn't feel as bad if you wanted to stay with her?"
Regina bit her tongue hard, realising that Emma must think she would prefer to spend time with Belle but objecting would reveal what she really wanted and she wasn't even completely sure what that was at this moment.
She did know that she wanted Emma to stay, but couldn't voice that desire openly.
Looking between the pair, Belle said, "If you're sure…that would be great."
Emma nodded, passing over her ticket to the other teen, "Hope you enjoy…see you later, Regina."
Through her surprise at the change in the course of this whole evening, Regina could only offer a wave to Emma before she found her voice to address her new companion, "I know I never apologised…"
Belle looked up from the ticket and cut her off, "It's okay, Regina, you don't need to apologise. If you'd rather go home…I know you probably would rather watch this with your friends…"
Feeling guilt flare again, Regina interjected, "No, it's okay. I really wanted to see this…I would…love to see it with you."
Belle smiled tentatively, nodding towards the concession kiosk, "Want some candy?"
Regina nodded, gesturing for her friend (or was it date?) to lead the way, planning to offer to get the popcorn.
She may have experienced a couple of disappointments tonight but she could make the best of it.
What would be the harm in watching a movie with a cute girl?
She would just have to get through the two hours without lamenting that the cute girl was almost her ex-girlfriend.