I stand at the entrance to Crusch's manor.

I was waiting for Caroline to come here.

She wasn't late - I was early.

Even though I don't really like her, going on a date with someone still weighs heavily on me, huh. But still... is that really a reason to come 35 minutes early?!

I know that I'm a pushover and a nervous freak, but really?! 35 minutes?!

But no matter how much I ridiculed myself, nothing would improve.

I've been slowly getting rid of my social anxiety, but it was nowhere near gone.

I actually started getting rid of it even in my old world, but the progress back then was too small for me to notice.

But now that I have the time to analyze my decisions... I definitely became less anxious.

Goddammit! I'm getting off topic again! Focus!

Right. A date.

I'm waiting for Caroline to go on a date with her.

To be honest, she's beautiful, but that's all.

I've seen a lot of people that I've considered beautiful, so she was nothing special.

Talking about her like that makes me feel like a bad person.

But it was the truth.

I didn't feel any kind of special way towards her.

Sure, I would get flustered if she kissed me or something, but that's normal.

To be completely honest, I don't even know what my sexuality is.

I'm pretty sure I'm straight, but I've never fallen in love, so I can't say for 100%.

For all I know I could be Aromantic. (Has sexual desires, but doesn't feel romantic attraction.)

I'm getting off topic again, aren't I?

*slap*

Alright. Don't go off topic this time!

...

But then what do I do to pass the time?

I mean, I look at the time crystal in the time tower, I still have 30 minutes to waste. Not much I can do besides go off topic.

And so I started thinking about the most random of topics:

Random inventions that wouldn't work without electricity.

What the hell are we going to do on this date? Should I have come more prepared?

Impractical combat techniques.

Why am I so nervous? I don't even like her.

Ways to combat different characters in this verse.

Am I nervous because she's beau-

Okay this is clearly getting out of hand. Every second thought I have is about how nervous I am about this date.

And also - why is this the longest 30 minutes of my fucking life?

I look at the time tower.

Why has only 4 minutes passed?!

I look at a random person. They were in slowmotion.

I was using Thought Acceleration this entire time?! And here I thought that it was good because it always automaticaly turns on whenever I need it. But it just turns on whenever I'm deep in thought!

I just never had a need for less time before! That's why I never noticed it!

As I was cursing at my inability to control my own abilities, I stopped.

My gut is never wrong.

I start looking around and saw no one special except for Caroline, so I kept loo-

Huh?! Wait, Caroline?! Why is she here?! The date is in 25 minutes!

I look at Caroline again.

She was wearing a light-blue summer dress with a flower pattern, which matched her eyes.

Her hair was now freely fluttering in the wind, which made its radience even more noticeable.

She's beautiful...

...

And compared to her, I'm wearing complete shit.

I look down at myself.

I was wearing a normal white T-shirt and blue pants.

Wellll... I don't really care what's on the outside anyway.

I think the reason behind a present or appearance is more important than it itself.

For example: She probably dressed like that because she wanted me to think of her as beautiful. I dressed like this because I feel bad about going on a date in my usual attire. Yes, it's a bad reason, but it's the truth.

I'm not saying that appearances and the presents themselves are useless or should be overlooked, I'm just saying that most of the time the reason is more important to me.

Getting off topic again, huh.

I turn off my Thought Acceleration as I walk towards Caroline.

Cylob: "The dress suits you. You look really beautiful."

Caroline: "Thank you!" She smiles. "Guess we both came early, huh."

Cylob: "That's right."

But her smile quickly breaks as soon as she looks at my face.

Cylob: "What? Do I really look that bad?"

Caroline: "No it's... don't worry about it."

Cylob: "..."

I could see how sad she looked. I wanted to help her, but I also didn't want to pry. I was stuck at an impasse.

But then, out of nowhere, I could see determination building up in her eyes. I've seen those eyes before... but where?

Caroline: "Alright. Let's go!"

She grabbed my arm and started dragging me. I quickly adjusted and started walking alongside her as she kept her grip on my arm.

Cylob: "Where are we going?"

Caroline: "First! Sightseeing!'

Sightseeing? I've never liked it and I doubt there are good places for it in the Capital but... I can't refuse her, can I?

And now that I think about it... what the hell is with her personality?! She did a complete 180 from how she acted at work! Did she... hide her true self just like me?

She started leading me all around town.

Just as I thought, nothing really interested me.

Even the golden Farsale Lugunica statue in front of me didn't get me to feel any kind of special emotion.

Caroline: "Do you really not find this beautiful?"

Cylob: "I do, don't get me wrong, but I'm more of a practical person. This statue is important, not only for remembering the person, but also for showing how rich and powerful the nation is. It also works as a calming tool for the people during bad situations. It's important, but not for me. I can appreciate the craftsmanship and the function, but it doesn't have any effect on me specifically."

She looks at me with a surprised expression. She then turns around to look at the statue again.

Caroline: "It's impressive how something as simple as a statue can have so many functions."

Cylob: "I'm most likely wrong about most of what I said, but that's what I think of it."

Caroline: "I see..." She turns to me.

Her expression becomes a little bit more sad after looking at me again.

Everytime she looks at me, she gets sad. Why?

Cylob: "If something is wrong, tell me. I'll listen."

Caroline: "Don't worry. This is something for me." Her eyes fill up with determination once again. Where did I see those kinds of eyes? So full of determination and directed at me. Where?...

Disregarding that. 'for her'? That's a weird combination of words, but it's not my place to pry.

Cylob: "Alright. I won't pry."

Caroline: "Alright. Let's go find something that'll interest you!"

She grabs my hand as we start walking again.

Hmm... This alley doesn't seem safe.

?: "Hey you, LoVErS. Cough up everything you've got!"

Just like I thought, a rough looking dude stands right in front of us.

I look behind us, and there was a dude there as well. We were surrounded.

I look at Caroline, but surprisingly, she wasn't scared - no, scratch that - she wasn't even surprised.

The only negative emotion that I could see on her face was a small amount of sadness.

Is she calm because I'm here?

I look at the bastard who blocked our path.

Cylob: "I'll give you a chance. Walk away peacefully and I won't hurt you."

The guy in front of me smirks.

?: "As if! Intimidation won't work on me! I can see just how weak you are!"

That was true. I looked very weak right now. I don't have any muscles and I hid away my sword as well, so I looked pretty defenseless.

But appearances can be decieving.

I activate a weak version of body enhancement.

Cylob: "Last chance." I look him in the eyes.

His eyes widen at my person.

?: "You're glowing! No way! You're Golden Wave!"

He runs away with his tail between his legs, his friend does as well.

That was about as effective as I thought it would be. Still, I can't get used to seeing myself like this.

I look at my hands without turning off my body enhancement.

These weird lines that go all the way around my body... visually they're very similar to rune patterns, but functionally they work as my replacement for blood vessels. Since I don't have blood vessels, my mana has to make its own path, and this is what my body came up with.

The more mana I use on my body enhancement, the more of these lines appear until they fully cover my body and I get a complete golden hue.

I see a hand being waved in front of me.

Cylob: "Ah. Sorry, I got lost in thought. Did you say something?"

Caroline: "Why did those guys run away from you?"

Cylob: "I've beaten up quite a lot of bandits, so they seemed to have come up with a nickname for me."

Caroline: "Is that what you were doing when we weren't able to find you?"

Cylob: "Partly. I also did other things during that time."

She looks at me intently.

Caroline: "You don't try to hide anything, do you?"

Cylob: "Everyone hides something. I'm no exception."

Caroline: "Still, you seem to be more open than other people."

Cylob: "If I tell you a lot about myself, then you won't ask extra questions due to already having gathered a lot of information on me. I'm not sure whether that's 100% true, but that kind of acting worked for me." I shrug.

Caroline: "I see..." She put on a thoughtful expression.

Cylob: "I'm surprised that you weren't afraid of the bandits tho."

Caroline: "Yeah. I guess I wasn't..." I could see just a bit of disappointment and sadness etched into her face.

Not sure what she's disappointed about, but I won't pry.

We resume walking. But walking in silence is awkward for me, so I try to strike up a conversation.

Cylob: "Do you like sightseeing?"

Caroline: "Not really."

Cylob: "Then why are we doing this?"

She stops. She looks me in the face. I could see her getting a little bit sad, but then it was immediately replaced by confidence.

Caroline: "It's a good excuse to take you places." She starts walking again.

Take me places... was the encounter with bandits thought of in her route? That would explain why she felt disappointed... but why would she want me to encounter them in the first place? It doesn't make sense.

We kept going from place to place. We entered a couple more shady alleys during our travels, but no bandits showed up.

I'm not enjoying this date... but that's within my expectations. I was prepared to force myself from the sta-

*Rrrr*

We both stopped.

...

Cylob: "Should we get something to eat?"

Caroline: "Umm..."

She looked uncertain and uncomfortable.

It seems like getting food wasn't in her plans for this date, huh.

Cylob: "There's a restaurant not too far back. We can get some food there."

Caroline: "But... umm..."

She looks... like she doesn't want to eat at the restaurant. What's the problem with eating at the- huh. I see.

Cylob: "Don't worry, I'll pay for it."

Caroline: "Huh?!"

Cylob: "You looked uncomfortable because you were afraid it would be too expensive, right?"

Caroline: "...Yes."

Cylob: "Then just let me pay for it."

Caroline: "But!-

Cylob: "Apapa!" I put my finger in front of her lips. "Let me."

She looked conflicted. She didn't want to let me pay, but her stomach did.

Caroline: "...Do you even have money in the first place?"

Cylob: "Of course I do. Some bandits had bounties, so I was able to get money that way."

Caroline: "Where is it then?"

Cylob: "Right -" I close my empty hand and open it, "here!"

My hand now had a lot of coins in it.

She looked confused and surprised.

Caroline: "How did you-

Cylob: "That's a trade secret." I do a sneaky smile.

At seeing me smile she giggled a bit, but it quickly faded when she got another look at me.

I want to ask her so bad! But I can't pry! Come on Cylob! Get some self-control! And you also gotta distract her! I don't want to see good people sad!

Cylob: "Shall we go?"

Caroline: "Yes!" She answered happily.

We got to the restaurant, took our seats and started looking through the menu.

When was the last time I eaten? In Obuch, huh.

I looked at Caroline who was beaming with joy.

I told her that she could pick whatever she wanted. At first, she refused, but I threatened her with: "I will run away if you don't", so now she was eager to taste what this restaurant had to offer.

I was surprised by her reaction. She works for Crusch and that must mean that her pay isn't cheap, and yet she gets so excited over a simple restaurant? How does she spend her money?

Her personality definitely did a 180.

waiter: "Are you ready to order?"

Caroline: "Could you please tell me about..."

She kept asking about different foods. What they were made of, how long it would take for them to be ready and such.

"What about this? What about that? How long will this take?" And on and on and on and on.

I felt bad for the waiter, but... I wouldn't interrupt her. Not when she's smiling like this.

...

waiter: "And what would you like, sir?"

He didn't mistake my gender. That's a first.

I place my order and give my menu to him.

Caroline kept her menu, so that she could look at even more items.

I could see the haunted look on the waiter's face as he started walking away from our table.

I'm sorry man, you'll have to indure this for just a little bit more!

I look back at Caroline.

She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

Seeing her smile like this... isn't so bad. I forgot how good it feels to make someone smile. I could go on like this... for quite a while.

And so we waited for our food to be ready in silence.

...

...

...

As soon as the waiter came back with our food he was bombarded with questions once again.

I could feel his soul taking one step into the afterlife with every question.

But as all professionals do, he kept his smile on his face at all times.

I was impressed at his resilience. I mean, I would've definitely broken character by now.

Let's help him out a bit.

Cylob: "If you ask too many question the food will go cold, y'know?"

Caroline: "Ah! You're right. Thank you for answering all my questions."

waiter: "No problem. Enjoy your food."

As soon as he could, he got out of the conversation and started walking away.

I looked at my order.

It looked like a steak, but I'm sure that it had a different taste than a normal one.

I grab my knife and fork and start eating... is what I would like to say.

After not eating for a whole month, I have forgotten how to use eating utensils.

I haven't forgotten how to chew and swallow, but I had to relearn how to use the eating utensils again.

It wasn't too bad tho, after only a couple of tries I managed to git good at it again.

The food... tasted good don't get me wrong, but I was kinda disappointed by it. I thought that it would leave a bigger impression on me.

I thought that since I hadn't eaten anything for a month, food would taste godly to me, but it didn't. It tasted just like normal food.

I guess the only reason food tastes godly to people who haven't eaten anything for a long time is because they are hungry. Since I can't get hungry, my taste receptors never 'deteriorate', so to say.

As I'm enjoying my food I look at Caroline.

She was beaming with joy.

She ordered quite a lot of food, so much so, that I was worried whether she would be able to eat it all.

She was going at a fast pace, so I was also worried that she might choke on her food.

But despite all my worries, everything was going fine.

After a bit of eating I finished my meal, but Caroline was nowhere near finishing hers.

She was still going strong, but I was afraid that wouldn't last.

And, lo and behold, she was full, but she still had a lot of food left.

Caroline: "I wish father could taste this."

Cylob: "Unfortunately, this restaurant doesn't allow to take food out of it."

I could see how sad she looked. I could also see some guilt.

Cylob: "Do you feel bad about wasting my money?"

Caroline: "Yes..."

Cylob: "Then -" I look around to make sure that no one is paying attention to us, "poof."

All the leftover food disappeared.

Caroline: "Huh?!"

Cylob: "Don't act surprised. Otherwise we'll get caught."

Caroline: "Umm... Alright."

After a while, a waiter came to us. I could see his surprise at the amount of empty plates, but he quickly hid it.

I paid for all the food we ordered and we walked out of the restaurant.

Caroline: "Where did the food go?"

Cylob: "I took it with me."

Caroline: "Where is it?"

Cylob: "That's a trade secret."

Caroline: "Isn't that... illegal?"

Cylob: "Yes. But we won't have any problems unless we get caught."

Caroline sighed with an exasperated look.

Cylob: "Come ooon. You wanted your father to taste some, right? We can now give some to him."

Caroline: "You'd-!" Her surprise and happiness quickly changed to sadness. "Yeah. Of course you would."

Cylob: "..."

Caroline: "Let's just... go sightseeing again."

Cylob: "Alright."

We walked quite a bit.

All of the places she showed me were beautiful, but just like I said before, they didn't make me feel anything special.

The things happening inbetween sightseeing spots were much more enjoyable for me.

I enjoyed talking to Caroline. I enjoyed playing with whatever kids would run up to us. I enjoyed a lot of stuff.

I smiled, laughed, felt embarrassed. All the good stuff.

After the meal at the restaurant, I seemingly let go. I started enjoying a lot more.

I actually enjoyed the date.

We kept going for hours on end. And after a lot of talking, I managed to convince Caroline to take a break.

We were now resting on a bench looking at the sunset.

The date was coming to an end, and due to that, Caroline had a very sad expression on her face.

Cylob: "Stop making that kind of face. Did you enjoy our date that much?"

Caroline: "I enjoyed our date a lot... but I can't feel good about it."

Cylob: "Why?"

She looked me straight in the eyes as her expression got even sadder.

Caroline: "You smiled today. You even laughed a couple of times. But... not even once... had the light returned to your eyes today."

Hmm...

Not surprising.

I look at the sunset with a neutral expression.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but... What did you expect? I've been broken. This wasn't something that happened in one day. For three months straight I have been breaking and I wasn't trying to fix myself in the slightest. I just glossed over all the problems that were going on inside my head.

I'm breaking as we speak. I'm still running away. I'm still distracting myself from my worries.

I don't think I am capable of being fixed, so I'm doing everything to make sure that other people don't end up broken.

I don't think I can love myself. No matter what I do, I will feel bad for my actions. Even if I wouldn't be able to do better in a situation, I would still blame myself for it. That's the kind of person I am.

I guess my biggest problem is... I don't value myself enough.

I know that I have value and that I can make things better, but for some reason... the value of everyone around me is much bigger than my own.

I do value myself, but I value everyone else much more."

I looked at Caroline.

She was looking at me with shocked eyes.

Cylob: "But even though I said all of that, I did enjoy our date. So... thank you." I genuinely smile.

Her surprise grew even more and I could see tears of happiness forming in her eyes.

Caroline: "That's it!"

Cylob: "? What is 'it'?"

Caroline: "We'll go on even more dates! Just you wait! I'll make you love yourself!"

I'm surprised at her sudden determination, but... I'm happy for it.

I remember where I saw those eyes before. It's the same look Shinyu had.

Cylob: "Good luck." I smile.

...

This is... awkward.

Cylob: "So... do you want me to go to your house?"

I could see her blush.

Now that I think about it, she hasn't blushed today, has she? She was too determined to make me better... I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Caroline: "Huh?!"

Cylob: "You wanted your father to taste the food, right? I still have it."

Caroline: "That's right... Could you just give it to me?"

Cylob: "What will you carry the food in, then?"

Caroline: "Ah. That's right..."

She seems incredibly uncomfortable...

Cylob: "I can give you the food on another day, y'know?"

Caroline: "But... won't it go bad by then?"

Cylob: "Trust me, it won't."

She was uncertain. She didn't know what was the best course of action, so I decided to give her some time to think.

...

...

...

Caroline: "Let's go my home. I'm going to have to tell you eventually after all."

Cylob: "Tell me what?"

Caroline: "We'll talk on our way there."

We started walking, but even though she spent a lot of time getting ready, she just... couldn't tell me.

I knew exactly how that felt, so I decided to encourage her as best as I could.

Cylob: "These words are straight from my heart without any thought behind them, so I'm sorry if they sound stupid, but... What you're doing is praise worthy. Instead of running away from something, you're trying to tackle it as soon as possible. Don't be afraid of the inevitability of it, but be proud of yourself for tackling it so soon."

I could see that her expression didn't get any better.

Well, I did all I could.

...

After a bit of walking, she got enough courage to speak.

Caroline: "You must've felt weirded out by how excited I was for the food in the restaurant, right?"

Cylob: "I didn't feel weirded out. It felt good that I could allow you to get such joy with something so simple."

Caroline: "That's right. Of course you did."

She took a deep breath and looked at me.

Caroline: "I don't get any money from my job."

...

EH?!

Cylob: "Please... explain further... or I'm gonna jump to conclusions."

Caroline: "My relationship with Crusch is similar to yours."

Similar to mine...

Cylob: "So you get paid in something else?"

Caroline: "Yes... Ferris heals my mother."

...

...wait-

Cylob: "Your mother is ill with something that even Felix can't heal?!"

Caroline: "Yes. He is researching how to battle the illness she has, but isn't having any luck."

What could be so bad that even Felix can't heal it?! Felix can even heal cancer for god's sake!

Cylob: "Is that the reason you hesitated in me going to your home?"

Caroline: "Yes." She nodded.

Cylob: "I see..."

The rest of our walk was spent in silence.

...

After finally going inside her home, I could see that it wasn't adorned with beautiful decorations nor was it beautiful itself, but for some reason, I still felt like this place was important.

?: "Carol! Welco-

A man with orange hair, beard and yellow eyes was stanfing in front of me.

man: "Who are you?"

Cylob: "My name is Cylob."

man: "And what are you doing here?"

Cylob: "Caroline wanted for you to taste some food, so I came to give some to you."

man: "I see... Well, my name is Hans! Nice to meet you!" He extends his hand out to me.

Cylob: "It's nice to meet you too." I shake it.

Caroline: "Seems like you two get along."

Cylob: "Why wouldn't we?"

Caroline: "No reason..."

I was pretty confused at how Caroline said that last sentence, but... whatever.

After that, I just gave them some of the food that was left so that they could enjoy it.

As they were eating (Caroline got hungry again), I decided to explore the house a bit.

Just as I said previously, nothing about it was impressive or beautiful, but I still felt heavy in here and I didn't know why.

It was then that I entered a room and saw that a woman was lying an a bed.

That has to be her mom...

I carefully closed the door behind me and stood above the woman.

I couldn't see anything wrong with her, except for the fact that she was pale.

I turned on Mana Sense and felt something.

Inside of her something was... wrong. There was no other way to say it.

It wasn't an abundance of mana, it wasn't a deficiency, it was just... wrong.

I decided to turn of Mana Sense and walk out of the room, cause if I kept looking at whatever that was, I felt like I was going to puke.

After that, everything went smoothly.

The dad really enjoyed the food, as did Caroline, and I went back home.

The day was pretty eventful, and overall, I really liked it.

Author's Note:

I'm slowly losing motivation for this project, so there's probably not going to be another chapter for a long time.

I don't know how long, but 2 weeks minimum.

But don't worry, I'm definitely gonna continue this project and it will have an end. All you have to do is wait.

That's all.