Cylob: "So, tommorow's the conference, right?"

Cylob was slumped over the desk, taking a break from the paperwork.

Crusch: "Yes, it is."

I didn't take away my eyes from the paper I was reading, I didn't have the time to.

Cylob: "Did Reinhard tell you what decision he made?"

Crusch: "Unfortunately, no."

Cylob: "So we're just gonna have to hope that he decided to take my side... I don't like leaving things to chance." He pursed his lips.

Crusch: "No choice but to."

Cylob: "Can't I like, ask him?"

Crusch: "He's the Sword Saint, sending letters will take too much time, and scheduling meetings with him is too difficult."

At that, Cylob sighed, defeated.

Cylob: "No choice but to pray... By the way, if Reinhard decides to sell me out, won't you take a hit to your reputation? I'm officially in your camp after all."

Crusch: "Only a select few people know you're in my camp. I can just make them swear silence if anything happens."

Cylob: "You've got everything under control, eh, Crusch-sama?"

After saying that, he straightened his back and started working once again. No doubt feeling guilty for resting when I was working so hard.

Relieved that he stopped talking, I fully focused on the paperwork once again.

Let's see, this one's for-

*BANG!*

The door opened with such vigor that I jolted a bit.

When I looked, I saw a familiar cat-eared demi-human standing there.

Crusch: "Ferris. You're back, I see."

Ferris: "Crusch-samaaaaaa! I've been waiting so long to meet you again!"

He ran up to me with great speed and hugged me. It wasn't proper behavior for a knight, but I allowed it since he's been working so hard.

Crusch: "Yes, yes. I've been eagerly awaiting your return as well." I petted him on the head.

Ferris: "You haven't been taking enough rest, have you, Crusch-sama?"

...I couldn't say anything in return, especially since Ferris was so serious that even his accent was nowhere to be seen.

Ferris: "I knew it! You nyeed to rest, Crusch-sama!"

He stopped hugging me and looked me in the eyes.

I wanted to speak up, but before I could, another voice joined our conversation.

Cylob: "Ferris is right, you should rest, Crusch-sama. You've been working way too hard."

There was now the pressure of two people urging me to take a break.

As I was contemplating what to do, Ferris suspisiously eyed Cylob.

Ferris: "Are you... Cylo-kyun?"

Cylob: "Wow, yeah. I'm surprised you could guess that." His eyes widened in surprise.

Ferris: "Well, there's nyot many people who don't have a heart. Your voice is the same too."

Cylob: "Right. I forgot you can hear heartbeats..."

Using the time I gained from their conversation, I came up with words to convince them to let me stay.

Crusch: "I canno-

Cylob: "Just drag her to her room, Ferris. She can't go to the conference tomorrow if she has those large eyebags."

Ferris: "Of course, nya~!"

Without any input from me, they had already decided on what to do. Ferris took me by the hand and started practically dragging me.

I could've easily resisted, but the seriousness in Ferris's and Cylob's voices made me realize just how much I needed to rest.

Cylob is also correct in the fact that I can't appear in the conference with an exhausted look. It's going to have all the Royal Selection candidates in addition to the Elder Council. I can't go looking weak in front of my competitors.

When I finished thinking, I was already in my room.

Ferris: "I'll leave you to your own devices, Crusch-sama!"

Crusch: "Make sure to rest plenty as well. You'll be accompanying me to the conference after all."

I had only noticed them now due to his enthusiasm, but Ferris also had huge eyebags. It would do him no good to work even more.

Ferris: "Don't worry, Crusch-sama! I'll make sure to get enyough rest, nya~!"

With that, he promptly exited my room.

I feel like he won't get enough rest...

I had gotten used to Ferris working his way around my protection, so even though I didn't sense any lies from him, I was sure that he wouldn't follow my commands.

But before I could walk out of my room to rebuke him, I heard a commotion right outside the door.

Ferris: "Nyow, back to-

Cylob: "Hold it. You need to rest as well. You'll be accompanying Crusch. How do you think it'll look if Crusch is in perfect condition, but you'll look completely exhausted behind her? Would that not make Crusch look like a slave driver?"

I could hear a grunt from Ferris.

Ferris: "I'm nyot sure what a 'slaiv draiver' is, but you're right. That'd make Crusch-sama look bad."

Cylob: "That's right, so go rest, for Crusch's sake."

Ferris: "I will, but nyext time, make sure to address her with -sama."

Cylob: "Ah, right. Slip of the tounge. I got used to calling her like that in her presense, but I have to get used to calling her like that in general."

After that, footsteps resounded in the hallways. Two sets of them, walking in opposite directions.

Seems like Cylob handled it. I wasn't wrong in choosing him.

With all that done, I changed into my sleeping garments and fell asleep immediately upon laying down on my bed.

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Cylob: "No way am I letting you in. Rest some more and prepare for the conference."

It was now morning the next day. I was standing in front of the door leading to my office.

The problem was that I was in front of my office, not in it.

Cylob was keeping the door shut no matter how much I told him off.

Crusch: "This is an order, Cylob. You are not foolish enough to go against the order of someone you swore yourself to, are you?"

Cylob: "I am a kid. I am foolish. So yeah, I'm going against your order, Crusch-sama."

*sigh* Just when did he become like this... who am I kidding, he was always like this. I bet he's overworking himself since he has to deal with all of the paperwork on his own.

Ferris: "I must agree with Cylo-kyun, Crusch-sama. One night is hardly enyough rest for your overworked body."

Without me noticing it, Ferris had come from behind me.

Crusch: "Ferris, surely you realize just what Cylob is doing."

Ferris had somehow gotten close to Cylob while I wasn't looking, so I was sure that he would understand me.

Ferris: "Of course I understand, he's overworking himself. But you must also realize that the repercussions for us are completely different than the ones for him. He has a unique body, so most of what will happen is mental exhaustion, while the signs on your body will be much more apparent, nya~!"

Crusch: "But what kind of leader-

Cylob: "And what kind of retainers are we if can't get our mistress even a sliver of rest? Stop resisting Crusch-sama, you understand our point, but just don't want to admit we're right because you're a problematic workaholic."

I frowned.

Not only could I not argue back, I could also understand their position.

But am I really a workaholic...?

This was the only thing that I couldn't agree with them on. I didn't feel like I did much work at all. There were still a lot of documents left.

If anything, I could've worked more-

Ah, yeah. That's definitely a workaholic mindset.

I found out something new about myself today.

Considering that Cylob is working even harder than me right now, he must be an even bigger workaholic than me. It should be fine to give him more work.

Cylob: "Ack!"

Ferris: "Hm? What is it, Cylo-kyun?"

Cylob: "I feel like my life has just taken a sudden turn, and for the worst at that. Call it womanly intuition if you will."

Ferris: "Oh? Did you finyally embrace your femininity? You certainly used to look the part, nya."

Cylob: "I hate how you make all my jokes lay flat."

They were talking through the door, so they were unable to see each other, and yet they talked almost like they knew exactly what the other was feeling.

Just when did they get so close...?

It was weird, it was almost like their closeness didn't come from friendship, but from something else entirely. Something that I couldn't understand.

Crusch: "Ferris, how are you both so close? As far as I'm aware, your relationship wasn't the best."

Ferris: "You see, Crusch-sama, it's very simple. We have a commyon ground we can agree on, so we can empathize with each other, nya~!"

A common ground... their dislike - no -hate for death I presume. While I can understand that, I can't relate to it. Some deaths are just necessary.

While I thought that some deaths were necessary, I can't deny that having Ferris around for so long has definitely impacted my thinking.I had definitely gotten softer than I used to be.

No wait, this isn't the time to be thinking about that. I have to convince Cylob to let me in.

While I was deep in thought, Cylob and Ferris kept talking to each other. They sounded so happy that I didn't want to interrupt them.

The more I listened to them talk, the more I realized just how much they didn't want me to go in. They truly cared for me

Fine, you win. I'm going to rest.

I start walking away, leaving the duo alone... to check up on how everyone else was working. That should be enough of a rest, right?

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Crusch: "Is this truly necessary?"

I was being forced to do one last check up before leaving. They were checking my health, my clothes, everything that could be checked was being checked.

To say that it was time consuming would be an understatement.

I could be working right now...

Ferris: "Of course, Crusch-sama! You must be in perfect shape, we won't settle for anything less!"

While Ferris was busily checking my clothes, Cylob was staring at me - no that would be wrong. It seemed like he was staring through me, it was clear that he wasn't paying attention to anything that was happening around him.

Then suddenly, his eyes regained focus, and he looked me straight in the eyes with seriousness that I never saw over the past week.

Cylob: "I hope that you don't take this meeting lightly. I understand that you won't, but just remember that my life rests on it. I wouldn't want you to attend a meeting so important to me with a subpar getup or mindset." His serious expression gave way to a wry smile. "I doubt you'd want to handle all that paperwork alone, right?"

Ah, so this is why he was so cheerful the past week.

It was clear that he had decided to use this week with all he had. This was the only time he would ever get true rest, after all.

No matter which decision Reinhard takes, Cylob would no doubt be overwhelmed by his own expectations. He would have to work hard to get strong once again, so that he would be able to help as much as possible in the future.

The uncertainty was irritating to him, but it was also relieving, as he understood that no matter what he did he couldn't influence Reinhard, so he decided to enjoy the week to his fullest while he had the chance.

He is most certaintly more worried about this conference than I am, and yet, he couldn't help but add a joke at the end of his speech. He clearly doesn't want me to worry too much, just like always...

I sighed internally as I realized that Cylob would never be able get rid of his kindness... but I also felt relieved at that fact.

If someone with his knowledge, talents and abilities ever turned evil, then stopping him would be exceptionally hard. Him being kind negated that possibility, so I could worry not.

There's a chance that someone will manipulate him... but he's too cautious for that. He doesn't trust people that easily.

As I finished my examination of Cylob's character for the umpteenth time, Ferris finally got satisfied and stopped bothering me.

Crusch: "Don't worry, Cylob. Even if the worst comes to pass, you will know of it immediately. That is the reason why you're making us take a part of you with us, is it not?"

Cylob: "I know that, and I understand that I prepared the best I could, but I doubt I'll be able to escape the whole of Lugunica, especially Reinhard. I'm not the Witch Cult, after all."

He probably meant for the last sentence to be a joke, but it painfully pierced me in my heart.

The constant tyranny of the Witch Cult which we couldn't predict nor locate, had been a source of infinite headaches and feelings of ineptitude for me.

Ferris: "I'm surprised you can mention them so lightly, Cylo-kyun."

Cylob: "Ah, well... Since the memories of my entire life are still fresh in my mind, I can't help but think with my past world's mindset, since that was the longer part of my life. And because the Witch Cult wasn't something that existed back there, I guess I can't help seeing it as something like gossip. Don't get me wrong, I haven't forgotten what they've done, it's just that its existence is still somewhat... surreal to me, I guess? I'm sorry, but even I can't properly grasp my mental state when the memory of me pooping my diapers is as fresh to me as the battle against Greed and Gluttony."

...

...That was certainly not something that I expected to hear.

When I heard that he saw his life all over again, I though that the passage of time inside his memories would make it so that his mental state would be just like normal, but that clearly wasn't the case.

Now that I think about it, he has been using more weird phrases as of late. Is it because of that?

In truth, I almost didn't recognize his demeanor when he arrived. He cracked so many jokes and overreacted so much that I almost doubted my eyes and ears.

I had thought that it was because he didn't hate himself anymore... but it seemed like that was too optimistic of a thought. Nobody can change so much unless something major happened.

Crusch: "I see... Next time you think like that, make sure to inform us. If I had made plans while thinking that your mental state was normal, they would've surely failed. *sigh* Seriously... you gave Reinhard such good advice, but you don't seem to be following it yourself."

Cylob: "Sorry." He could do nothing but hang his head in dejection.

He is also acting more like a kid, huh. Now that I know about the problem, all of the signs and glaring contradictions are clearly apparent to me.

This was a problem. Even though something clearly unusual was happening, I didn't even try to look into it and merely accepted it.

I might be losing my edge.

As someone vying for the throne, this was unthinkable.

Is this because I was overworking myself...?

I had no time to think about anything else except for paperwork, so I overlooked everything that was happening around me.

It seemed like taking rests was more important than I expected.

Ferris: "Well, nyow that that's done, it's time to head to the conference. Let's go, Crusch-sama!"

With my new understanding of the importance of rest, I left for the conference posthaste.

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As I waved away Crusch and Ferris, I couldn't help but descend into thought once again.

I was... scared. Unbelievably so.

The thought that my life could be ruined, that I would have to leave everything I ever knew behind... it terrified me.

I had managed to supress this fear until today, but now that it had caught up to me, it felt like my throat was being constricted, my vision was cloudy and my entire body felt like gravity had been increased five-fold.

And The Power isn't helping with that.

I walked briskly to my room. Once I heard the *clink* of the door closing, I raised my left arm in front of me, while raising my sword overhead.

Then I swiftly swung it down.

"Kh!"

My separated arm fell on the floor, and the stump that was left hadn't remained in its state even for a milisecond as it regenerated with speed I couldn't follow with my eyes.

But even if the arm was regenerated, the pain remained.

I started rolling on the floor, trying my best to soothe my pain. I had to forcefully supress my shout, as that would warrant unwanted attention. And just like always, no tears escaped my eyes.

Once the pain was gone, I stood up, ate the arm on the floor and frowned.

I doubt I'll ever get used to this.

Ever since wednesday, I had to do this exact thing every day.

It seemed like the connection between me and The Power that tried to take control of me back then still remained.

I spared no effort to get rid of the connection for good, but it was matter what I did, it regenerated without any interference.

So instead of banging my head against an unbreakable wall, I had accepted the circumstances.

I decided that every day, I would cut off my arm and eat whatever of the connection regenerated.

it should've been a surefire solution...

But I'm already noticing some problems.

The regeneration speed was increasing with each day.

I wanted to do this only every day, but it became increasingly apparent that only once a day wouldn't be enough.I would risk getting taken over by it otherwise.

And if I get taken over again...

...

...

...

Maybe me dying isn't all that bad.

I immediately headed to the nearest wall and-

*BANG!*

-I banged my head against it.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Cylob. Are you going to disregard the value of your life again? Youjust talked about this.

I looked at the mirror in the room.

Orange hair, light-blue eyes. I looked at it, I took it in.

I have this appearance for a reason. Remember it, and don't think like that again.

Once I got my head out of the gutter, I exited my room and headed to the place I dreaded the most in the world.

I tried to turn the handle, but it was locked in place.

Ah, right. I blocked it from the inside.

I turned into my slime form and slipped under the door.

On the other side was a huge boulder completely covering the door. I Belzeebub-ed it and sat at my desk.

But the moment I sat down and looked upon the huge pile of documents, I lost all of my motivation.

Cylob: "I'm regretting not letting Crusch work now..."

But even with the enormous frown on my face and with no motivation, I Enyan-ed a pen and started reading through them.

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I carefully put the pen down and started rubbing my temples.

I was glaring so hard that my look could kill, but unfortunately, the object which I was directing my hatred towards was inanimate.

Cylob: "Who could possibly be so foolish and dumb, but educated and knowledgeable at the same time?"

The letter that I was reading used such complicated language and held so much information that one couldn't help but appreciate the sender's education and information network, but at the same time, the contents of it were so dumb and idiotic, that I couldn't help but get a headache despite my biology.

Cylob: "Who could make such blatant demands and unfair 'trades'? Did they expect for Crusch to fall for such flowery and complicated language?"

I wanted to mentally chastise myself for not using -sama, but my attention was instead drawn to something else.

They... separated me.

I had agreed on two signals with Crusch on what to do.

If they crushed the part of me that I gave them, I would have to flee with all I have. But if they separated me into two pieces, that meant that I would have to head to the castle where the conference was held.

In truth, I had no doubt that the second signal would never happen. What are the chances of me actually being needed there, after all? I was practically a nobody, so no one should've even knew that I existed.

There's no one there that knows that I'm the shadow except for Crusch, Ferris and Reinhard, right?

...riiiiiiight?

...

I fucked up.

I was stupid. Oh so stupid.

Only once the summon from Crusch was given, did I realize the grave mistake I commited.

I forgot about FUCKING ANASTASIAAAAAA!

She saw me turn into the shadow. She knew exactly what had happened. And considering her intellect, I wouldn't be surprised if she realized that I was the guy that the Elder Council was after.

How could I forget such a crucial detail?! Is it because I can still remember me peeing my diapers?!

Since the meeting with Anastasia took such a little amount of time, the presence that it took in my new memories was miniscule.

Still, that's not good enough of an excuse!

I opened the window and leapt out of the building.

Now that I think about it, why didn't Crusch and Ferris say anything?! Is it because we were overworked?!

Our whole camp was so slumped with work that we forgot one of the most important parts! Curse you...! I don't even have anyone to curse! All the blame is on me!

I started running straight to the castle. I employed Felt's tactic and ran atop the rooftops.

I didn't know how I would actually get inside the castle, but that didn't matter. I had to come up with some excuses and very specific sentences.

Agh! I don't have enough time! I don't know everyone well enough to perfectly predict how they will react and what they will do! There are simply too many possibilities for me to calculate!

I always tried to have multiple plans for everything, even for every day interactions, so coming up with plans for this was undoubtably necessary.

Normally, I would be able to wiggle myself out of an unexpected situation even with a lie-detector like Crusch close by, but the people I would be up against were simply too smart or too unpredictable. After all, who knows what Priscilla might do, or what kind of scheme Anastasia could come up with.

Well, either way, I'm basically dead.

The current situation was beyond grave.

Because I wallowed in self-deprecation and didn't try to think at all, I had ended up in the worst of situations.

My on-the-spot decision making is really gonna be put through the ringer today, huh.

I had no idea how to act with figures of high authority. I had no idea what was and wasn't acceptable to say. I was extremely anxious of embarassing myself just like Subaru did.

But for some ungodly reason, for no sense at all...

The fear and despair I felt went away.

Bring it on! If I have to negotiate with the powerhouses of this world for my life, I'll do it!

My panicked expression gave way to a defiant smile.

I won't die, I won't get sealed!

A certain sadness enveloped my heart.

So that Caroline won't make that face again.