Starlight
Introduction and Dedication
"Even believing in the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing."
Dear Reader,
You might remember me from Something Precious, the original story of Elizabeth Gold, however the character has evolved and so has her story. I originally began writing to receive the comfort of having a parent that I had never had. This character was and still is unquestionably a self insert. Like her, we share the first name, I am also a child abuse survivor and have cancer. My parents were extremely abusive and what you are about to read in the first book of the fanfiction, Moonrise, is based on the way that my actual parents treated me in real life. Despite the fantastical element, most of the events were sadly all too real, and my father did in fact come very close to ending my life several times. I also regress in real life due to trauma caused by this. I am also disabled like this character and yes, I am incontinent and like to regress to feel loved and cared for by a parent. Life was hard.
The only thing that got me through those horrific years of isolation and heartbreak were fairytales and my love of Disney, which I secretly loved behind my parents back. Growing up during the Disney renaissance of the 1990's, I looked to the classic stories as a beacon of hope. The Lion King was one of my favorites as I've always had a love for animals, for growing up isolated, raised on a farm by strict religious parents who wouldn't allow me to go to school, the animals were my only friends. My sister was treated much more kindly, so was given everything. My exposure to the wonderful world of Disney came through sneaking into her discarded things. But there was one fairytale that was my beacon of hope through it all. It was the only book I managed to save from my parents wrath and religious burning along with the tape that came with it. It was Rumpelstiltskin. I never really cared about the other characters in the story, but I was always fascinated with him. As his story was the only one I had, I cherished it. The funny little man's antics and the promise of turning straw into Gold was my beacon of light in an ocean of darkness. I've always been interested in magic even though my parents said it was evil. My other hope came from animal science and the natural world, and being naturally curious I grabbed any material on animals and science that I could get my hands on.
When I decided to try to get my GED and somehow manage to get enough education to try to put myself through college to try to find a future, I blacked out in the classroom. It was 2011, right when Once Upon a Time came out. I was diagnosed with Cancer and nearly lost my life on the operating table. I had contacted my parents from the hospital begging for their help, for one last try of being loved. My father told me to go…screw…myself. And no. He didn't say screw. My mother didn't take very much interest. Wanting to take my mind off things, I started watching Once Upon a Time in my hospital room. The episode that had aired was The Price of Gold. My hero that day wasn't a knight in shining armor, but once again a funny little man in shining golden skin came to greet me. He had been my comfort character my entire life, and Robert Carlyle's no less than godly acting gave me a way to see him face to face. And even though in that episode especially he was a bad boy he looked like he could be at the exact age of being a father figure. We even look alike as far as build and facial features and hair. After viewing the episode Desperate Souls and seeing him be a papa, that had sealed the deal. He was also disabled, and had a limp just like me.
After I saw Skin Deep I entered the Once fandom as a Rumbelle child who had fallen ill and regressed due to trauma but it never felt right. So I spent years role playing and changing the storyline until I stopped denying what needed to be written. I now work for social services and know how beautiful adoption is. This past year, I finally decided to accurately portray someone who regressed due to trauma and who was adopted. This final storyline was based on my own life, but was also inspired by my own beliefs as a Pagan Witch, was inspired by two main Disney Movies, the Lion King and Beauty and the Beast, inspired by the works and worlds of the animals of Erin Hunter(especially the Warriors series), and Walt Disney World's Animal Kingdom theme park(through hard work and building a life for myself I've become a frequent visitor). All too rare are main characters who strong women who are disabled, damaged, who struggle with physical and mental health and who are part of the queer community. Many disabled characters especially those who practice witchcraft are portrayed as evil. I hope this changes that misconception. This fanfiction even though a fantasy is an accurate representation of someone with PTSD caused by child abuse and of someone with a chronic illness. And while life is lived to the best just like all living things, challenges are faced that do limit. While Once covered many classic Disney movies and placed its own interesting spin upon them, the one Disney movie that they did not perouse was The Lion King. As Rafiki says, it is time.
The faceclaim used for the portrayal of Elizabeth Gold is Emma Watson especially as her appearance was while portraying Hermione. Robert Carlyle of course was used as the faceclaim for Rumpelstiltskin. The god Loki in this fanfiction is portrayed by the MCU version of him(Tom Hiddleston), as I believe it's just another way for people to see him and he happens to be another comfort character of mine.
I would like to thank the writers of the role play community who helped me to make Elizabeth come to life and to test out her storyline. A special thanks to my dear friend Jonathan, who penned Rumpelstiltskin for me in the role play world for many years. This fanfiction is dedicated to all of you.
I dedicate this fanfiction as well to the memories of James Earl Jones and Walt Disney. It is also dedicated to all victims of abuse and cancer who were lost. May you forever run in Starclan.
I would like to thank Robert Carlyle himself, for he gave me a way to see a character that was my only comfort for so many years. My cancer has come back and with a vengeance. My dying wish is that he read this fanfiction. I only hope I live long enough to complete it and to see it through. Thank you sir, for giving me a father. I'd like you to know how much your portrayal meant to me. This work is dedicated to you.
And now, please enjoy my little tale, of the balance of life and dark, of life and death, of what is truly good and evil.
Remember, we are all connected in the great circle of life.
EG