A/N: Over the summer I watched this really cool anime called Fate/stay night. As I learned it was among one of the worst of the Fate anime out there, the series itself being based off a visual novel of the same name. I proceeded to wait till school started to watch through the second route, Fate/stay night [Unlimited Blade Works] which then caused me to watch Fate/Extra: Last Encore, and Fate/Kaield Linear Prisma Illya: Oath Under Snow. Finally I got a chance to watch through the Fate/stay night [Heaven's Feel] trilogy, and Fate/Zero. Finally ending with me caving and buying the visual novel which I really need to get around to reading.

This fanfiction idea came while reading through the various Fate fanfictions on this site as well as watching Unlimted Blade Works. Thus my plan is to do two major fanfictions for Fate. This one which is the crack one, and another more straight forward one, or as straight forward as you can get in a franchise such as Fate.

Either way, I hope y'all enjoy this fanfiction.

FATE/LEAVE DAY

Chapter 1: To The Beginning

Sometimes memories of that day flood my mind. There is absolutely no way I should've survived, yet here I am. The only soul out of those hundreds who was given a chance.

"Thank, goodness, you're alive!" A man with some raggy hair, the color of which I can't discern. I was only a seven-year-old boy at the time. Granted, I was a seven-year-old boy who had lost practically everything on that same day except for the soul inside of his body. Hell, I am not even sure if my soul is still here, or even if I had a soul to begin with. My hair is ginger after-all, but that little tangent aside, I was still seven.

One thing I can tell for certain through all this uncertainty was he was happy. Why else would tears be falling through his eyelids like that, or that genuine smile he produced. Besides those two features, I can't remember anything else.

Scratch that, I remember my name. The name my mother and father gave me when I was born.

Did I even have a mother or father?

My name is Shirou…

Well, that is all. Everything else I forgot, or rather I could care less about.

Either way my life took a drastic shift on that day.

When I awoke in the hospital, after God knows how long. He was sitting there, a man whose details I can remember. I would be a shitty son if I couldn't remember the details of my savior, or rather my father. The man who adopted me after all this.

Kiritsugu Emiya. He was an old man with raggy black hair, a patchy beard, and black eyes that even black holes would collapse into. I am going to be honest, I had absolutely no clue why this man wanted to adopt this waste of breathable space. Looking at him though, it seems like the reason he adopted me was because he and I were built off the same cloth. A cloth filled with tragedy. Those eyes that showed no life really resonated with me. Perhaps it was because I was the broken shell of a little boy. A little boy who should be having fun with his friends or be concerned about pushing the boundaries of adventure. Unfortunately, the cruel reality of this world says that not everybody can experience that kind of childhood. There are the lucky ones and the unlucky ones. Given from what I've explained so far, you can bet your ass that I am the unlucky one.

Though was I really that unlucky? I was still alive, and a lot of people say that is better than nothing. In this case they might be onto something. When Kiritsugu asked if I wanted to be adopted by him, he disclosed one powerful secret.

He was a wizard!

Or as he put it, he was a mage, but who cares? He can do actual magic! This blew the socks off a me who practically lost everything in his life. To be adopted by an actual fucking wizard was absurd, yet this was my reality.

Like any other seven-year-old boy in this situation, I begged him to teach me. It took a while, but he finally agreed to teach me.

Only after he mentioned one of the biggest risks of being a wizard.

"To be a mage, is to walk with death."

Death doesn't bother me that much; I am practically past my expiration date anyways. Might as well learn some cool tricks on my way out. That was what seven-year-old me thought anyways.

The surprises don't stop there.

One day, the old man went out on a business trip. He left a person known as Taiga Fujimura to care for me. Apparently, she was the granddaughter of the person who sold him the house. Funnily enough, in the end I was the person who took care of her, but Taiga or should I say Fuji-nee was fun. A bright spot in all those dark lingering thoughts.

Though the strangest thing that happened was after the old man came back from his business trip. A little girl with blood red eyes, pale skin, and long white hair returned with him. Even stranger was the fact that she was my older sister. I mean she practically looked like a five-year-old. Her name was Illyasviel Von Iceberg or Von Ainsburg or some fancy foreign name like that. Well, it doesn't matter now for she proudly declared her name to be Illyasviel Emiya when we first met. Though she also noted that she would want me to call her Illya. So, Illya, it was then.

"So, your name is Shirou?" the young Illya asked in curiosity.

"Yes, it is," I said taking a glance at this small child, for a small foreigner she speaks pretty good Japanese.

Illya took a few seconds to register the scene. I guess she was trying to figure out who this person. I don't blame her for being nervous. I did intrude on her family life.

"Don't be scared, Illya," Kiritsugu said tenderly, or about as tenderly as he could get, "Shirou is your new little brother."

"LITTLE BROTHER?!" We both shouted in unison confused at this notion. There is no way this pipsqueak is older than me, and I guess she thought the same given the shocked expression on her face.

"How old are you, Shirou?" Illya asked trying to set the record straight once and for all.

"I'm 7, how old are you, Illya?" I asked also trying to set the record straight.

"I'm 8, which means I guess you are my little brother!" Illya exclaimed.

"This is weird," we both remarked.

"Can you just be my older brother? I always wanted one," Illya asked.

"Sure," I agreed, and just like that I was Illya's older brother. Kiritsugu was chuckling at this exchange with a smile. I never realized how weird this scene was growing up, but I realized that this was probably one of the few times that the old man was genuine happy.

In addition to Illya, the old man brought back two maids who looked like an older version of her. Their names were Leysritt, and Sella. Leysritt or as she wanted to be known as Liz was easy to get along with. Sella on the other hand, took her maid duties way too seriously. She was practically a mom to me and Illya, but to be fair the only other women who could fulfil the role of a motherly figure were rather irresponsible. Though I can sense the favoritism she had towards Illya.

As I learned during my first months with the old man, he cannot cook if his life depended on it, and neither could Fuji-nee. Which resulted in me having to pick up the slack, I was fine with that. If only so I could repay the debt that I owed the old man.

In a way, this turned out to be for the best. Cooking was one of the few things that can truly calm my nerves with housework being a close second. Unfortunately, these were also the duties of a maid, and that led to most of my conflicts with Sella. Often it was a battle to see who could make it to the kitchen first. Though I can always tell that everyone else liked my cooking better. Well, if I was cooking Japanese-based food; I've got to admit Sella has got me beat in western foods but mark my words. One day I will outperform Sella in all aspects of cooking, western included.

This happy little family life persisted for nearly eight years.

By this point in time, I was in my first year at Homurahara High School. I had only two real friends, Shinji Matou, and Issei Ryuudou. The former of whom I was on the verge of having a falling out with.

My friendship with Shinji has been on the rocks for a while. We used to be the best of friends during our days in elementary school, yet sometime in recent years he begun to act like an asshole. He mocks me at every twist and turn, and worst of all I don't know why. What did I do for him to dislike me? Was it that I was better than him at archery? That is what recent events seem to suggest, but even after quitting the Archery club due to injury he still mocks me.

On the other hand, my friendship with Issei is just fine. Seriously, I was just helping with various issues around school, and I became his friend. Come to think about it, I am probably his only friend. Makes sense, we usually just eat lunch in the student council room by ourselves and have a nice chat about life.

Now, I know none of that sounds particularly life changing, but for someone who can only think about others. Having at least one friend helps, or so says everyone in my family. Also, this is the year where I quit archery.

During my first year at Homurahara, I was the ace of the archery club. Known for hardly ever missing my shot much to the jealousy of Shinji. This was until I got injured during my part-time job.

"You should just quit, Emiya," Shinji said to me privately upon learning of my injury, "It is unjust for a person who has a burn mark such as yourself to continue archery."

"Your right," I said having come to the same conclusions that he reached, "but wouldn't I just be letting everyone down?"

"Your injury is weighing us down. By quitting the club, you would be relieving a burden off everyone's shoulders," Shinji retorted, and I guess he makes sense. I can't really shoot an arrow if one of my arms is out of commission.

Just like that I quit the archery club. To this day one of my rivals and current captain of the archery club, Ayako Mitsuzuri, has tried to convince me to rejoin.

Ok, quitting archery probably wasn't that big of a deal.

In this same year, this was the time when I first became acquainted with Sakura, Shinji's little sister.

Well, I knew of her existence because she was one of Illya's many friends, and she is Shinji's sister as well. It would be weird to not know of your only friend's little sister after all, but this was the first time she came specifically for me, and me only.

"I am sorry for my brother, I will do whatever I can do to make it up to you," Sakura said with a look that is only rivaled by the old man. Those violet eyes are so empty, and the tone that she uses is just hollow. I've never seen her look like this, but since when I have paid attention to what people look like? Damn it, I was doing a crappy job of being a hero of justice.

This was after my conversation with Shinji about archery.

"If this is about archery, I was planning on quitting for a while," I said with reassurance that it was not Shinji's fault. I was the one who made the decision after all.

I couldn't tell her emotions whatsoever. Maybe I should consult Illya? Eh, this will probably just end up with her lecturing me about 'not understanding women'. My sister can be like that.

"Ok then," Sakura said as she slowly turned around, and walked away with no emotion. As a hero of justice, I can't help but notice that I was about to fail someone.

Hero Of Justice mode activating…

"But if you want to help, then who am I to say no?" I smiled hoping that she would catch that sign.

"Do you mean it?" Sakura asked caught off guard by my sudden 180.

"Yes."

"Do you really mean it?"

"Yes."

"Do you really really mean it?"

"On my honor as a hero of justice, yes," I firmly said unaware at the time of a certain little sister who was pulling strings behind my back. From then on, Sakura became a new member of our family. Well after convincing Fuji-nee, and Sella. Those two were tough cookies to crack, but they relented after the old man told them he would keep tabs on her too. Almost like he was super suspicious of her. To be fair, he had been mildly observant of Sakura since Illya first befriended her.

With that addition, time marched on.

My days nowadays mostly consist of working my part-time job at the Copenhagen, helping anybody out, maybe hanging out with Issei, and of course practicing magecraft.

I activate my magecraft with cool phrase, "Trace on!"

Unfortunately for me, I suck at magecraft, and it is something I can't change at all. Believe me, Illya tried to teach me how to do other types of magecraft.

"Alright, big brother! What kind of magecraft can you do?" a young Illya looked in awe excited to see what kind of cool tricks her brother might have picked up.

"Only Reinforcement, and Projection!"

"What?"

"Reinforcement, and Projection."

"I heard that dummy, but can't you shoot a fireball, or create a familiar?" Illya pouted.

"Uh, that is all I was ever taught."

"Then can I at least see something you projected, big brother."

"Alright, here it comes, Trace On!" I focused on creating something. Something that would be appreciated by an eight-year-old girl. Girls like cats, right? Therefore, I put my focus on a little cat plush and used that image to begin my projection. No, my creation. The familiar burning sensation begins when I was suddenly jumped on by a purple bullet.

"Big brother!" Illya sob yelled as she tackled me, "what are you doing?"

"Using magecraft?"

"Like that?"

"How else am I supposed to use it?" I asked all innocently, "aren't I supposed to convert my nerves to magic circuits?"

"That's a one-way trip to dying! You idiot!" the little girl cried as she hugged me tight grateful that I was still in the realm of the living, "I am going to have a little talk with Papa."

So, Illya told the old man about how I used my magecraft.

"I never expected you to create magic circuits out of your own nerves," Kiritsugu remarked. I could tell that he was scared about what I have been doing over the past five or so months, "like Illya said it is a one-way trip to death, even well-trained mages have a fifty percent chance of death." I just shrugged it off while Illya looked completely mortified at the odds.

"Papa, I am going to properly teach him."

"I agree, I don't know enough about magecraft to teach it."

"Then why did you teach it to big brother?"

"He begged." Illya took a piercing gaze towards me.

"You really are an idiot, both of you." Unbeknownst to me at the time, the way the old man taught me magecraft was his way of trying to get me to quit magecraft. Though he didn't expect that I would try to replace my nerves with magic circuits.

Lately, I've been having these weird nightmares. Something about a very powerful sword, before it transports me back to that day when everything changed.

Earlier I mentioned that I was unlucky. I said some people would consider me surviving that fire, luck. I know it is nothing more than a cruel joke. A tragedy in which hundreds of people perished, and I was the only person who survived. Everyone else was mercy killed. Their memories end there, they never had to experience almost asphyxiating on the smoke from the fire on that day, and trudging through an endless sea of burnt rubble, corpses, and the cries of those who were desperately clinging to life takes a toll on a person. They never have to live with the fact that all their friends, neighbors, and family were killed. No slaughter. They never have to deal with the aftermath of a seven-year-old boy who saw his father get crushed by the rubble, and his mother get severally charred by the flames that surrounded this hellish landscape. They never had to hear grown adults cuss you out as they and their children got immolated in plain sight. It was like I survived hell, but was it truly worth it?

I don't know why I survived, and why everyone else had to die? If I was older, I would have probably turned to God, but I wasn't. I was merely a kid, a kid who is beginning to remember details. Details I never wish to recall in life, or after death. I thought brains were supposed to force you to forget them.

It was too vivid.

Mommy, daddy, I need you…

Mommy.

Daddy.

Please, help me. Save me. Mommy, daddy…

The convulsions I had at remembering those awful moments forced me to wake up. Memories that I shouldn't even have access to. Remember what the doctor said Shirou, breath in and out. Look at your surroundings. The table, the window, the walls, the futon, and the sliding door. Come to think of it, I don't really have anything in this room. Probably because decorations would be a waste of practical space. I might consider hanging a poster of something one day, but that day is not today.

It has been lonely these past couple of days. The old man took Illya, and the maids on a little trip. I guess he was worried about not having enough father, and daughter time. Fair, he has been frail for a while. That is the whole reason why I have a part-time job, someone needs to support this family, and as the older brother it is my duty.

On the bright side this means I have free reign in the kitchen. Definitely for the best, Fuji-nee seemed starved for some Shirou cooking, and I am obliged to provide. While it is sad that I am only cooking for three people today, I am glad that I got to cook at all.

When I got to the kitchen, to my surprise I saw Sakura finishing up breakfast.

"Good morning, senpai," Sakura said with a smile, "I figured for all the hard work you put in. You deserve some extra rest."

"Thank you, Sakura," I said as I sat down at the table. In front of me was my guardian who was looking after me, Fuji-nee. Well, 'guardian' in the way that the old man wanted someone to watch over me, I don't know I watch over her most of the time. She was watching a news report about a murder in town. A family of four were brutally cut down leaving only the youngest alive. Man, once I get my hands on that bastard it's lights out for him.

"Morning, Shirou."

"Morning, Fuji-nee."

"Another incident in town, the police can handle it, Shirou," Fuji-nee put bluntly almost as if she is aware that I would go hunting down the murderer.

"I won't."

"No."

"I said that I won't."

"Your horrible at lying," Fuji-nee pointed out, "you have at least five different signs that indicate your lying."

"How would you know?"

"I am practically your older sister, I can tell. I think Sakura can tell too."

"Yes, I can Miss Fujimura. You aren't good at lying, senpai, and I agree with Miss Fujimura."

"Why?"

"You will just get yourself hurt, or at worst killed. Illya will be sad if you die," Sakura noted hitting me at my one major weakness, my little big sister.

"Fine."

"Besides with this incident combined with the recent gas leaks, I have every reason to believe they will cancel afterschool activities," Fuji-nee predicted, "Well I have to go. You two make sure to get to school on time."

"Yes, ma'am."

After cleaning up breakfast, me and Sakura walked to school. The city of Fuyuki was as calm and quiet as it ever was. Between the great fire that happened ten years ago, the serial killer prowling around right before it, and the bombing of a hotel. Many of Fuyuki's citizens either left or perished. Left were the ones who took a chance or had no other place to go. Though a majority of those who stayed live in the Miyama portion of the city. A nice quiet suburb that didn't really go through much now that I think about.

Lately there seemed to be a lot of gas leaks occurring around here, and with that family dying. I bet there is some sort of connection. Well here we go, it is almost time for school. Little did I know my fate would rapidly change that day.

The day I met him.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: That was the first chapter, I intend to make these chapters short and sweet. After all this is a crack fic, I am learning to have fun with writing again. Serveal interesting things to note. First off, I am baseing my writing like if I writing an English Dub which means I won't use honorifics, and I won't use [Family Name, Given Name]. Exepctions include Taiga's nickname Fuji-nee, and Sakura calling Shirou, senpai. Considering those were at least used in stay night's dub. Second off, I am willing to make another exepction for oni-chan, onee-chan, and other names of that nature. Third off, looks like some interesting developments happen, for starters Kiritsugu is still alive. Though I wonder what could be behind taking a little trip with Illya? Fourth off, this story will mainly take cues from Fate material I have consumed which I described in the first author's note at the beginning of the story. With that being said of course I am consulting the Type-Moon wikia, but if there are any tidbits or funny things y'all want to add feel free to tell me. I like learning new lore bits, or something so nonsensical that it would make this fic funnier.

Finally, I kinda need servant suggestions for the following classes, Assassin, Bersecker, and Lancer. Preferably canon servants, but if that cannot do then just try to reccomend an historical figure and reasoning behind why it should be this class.

Also please leave criticism, I would love to see how I could improve either my writing style, or my fanfiction.

"Sorry about the mess, Master."

"I am Hakunon Kishinami, and I am Hakuno Kishinami."

"Which is why you should rejoin the Archery Club."

"Oh shit! I don't wanna die like this!"

"I'm Saber, and I am your servant."

NEXT TIME:

Night of Fate

Till Next Time!