My eyes snap open.

The rays of the sun beaming down unholy light on to me was normal, but waking up covered in dead leaves and broken branches? Not so much. Unlike most people, I did consider myself a morning person, so imagine my shock when I saw trees instead of my nice plain wall.

"Ughhh…" I groaned trying to make sense of it all. What the hell were trees doing in my room? What was I up to last night? I didn't remember drinking but the splitting headache was singing me another tune. Even then, I was never a heavy drinker. To be honest, I preferred not to have any at all; someone had to stop guests from setting stuff aflame.

I reached for my face to see if anything was out of place. I let out a sigh of relief. Fortunately, other than a few scratches here and there, everything seemed to be in order.

But just… "Where the hell am I?"

My eyes darted around me. I could see nothing but trees from down here, and they weren't trees I recognized either. I was used to oaks and evergreens not… whatever these were. Well I wouldn't learn anything down here. I placed a hand on the ground to push myself up, but it was weak, and I slipped down to kiss the ground again.

If I wasn't awake before, the pain made sure I was fully alert now.

Yeah, not my brightest moment.

"Mmrghhh…" It wasn't elegant, but it was the only sound I could make at the moment. My face throbbed, a warm painful pulsating reminder of my mistake.

Regardless, I gave in to the task and rose to my feet - carefully this time - brushing the branches and other debris off my clothes. Yeah, my clothes had seen better days; my jeans were torn at the bottoms, and my jacket looked like it had just fought a lawnmower and lost.

Badly.

At least my sweater appeared to be intact for the most part. I ran a hand through my hair, pulling back a pebble along with some black strands. How'd that get in there? As with most times whenever I ran into trouble, I pulled out my phone and yep, just my luck. Cracked, now that's just fantastic. I hit the power button only to be greeted with a blank white screen. Now I had a nice, expensive warranty void brick. I'll just sell it off to some poor sap on craigslist once I got back home.

Speaking of which, exactly where the hell was 'home', in relation to my position.

I took a step forward and suddenly found my right foot cool and damp. A puddle? "Man, ain't this just a pile of…" I took a deep breath and sighed. This was just going to be one of those days.

Well, no point in standing sad and still. Which way did I go? Left. L and L for extra luck, of course. I can't be that far from home, the nearest forest was only like a ten minute walk.

Already I was regretting my left loosey approach to direction making. The wildlife had gifted me with several cuts and thorns; my patience was beginning to dwindle. I didn't consider myself an impatient person - not that most would be willing to admit if they were - but even I could grow agitated at mindless forest wandering.

It wasn't even like I could just pop in my earbuds and tune the world out because… hells I didn't even have my earbuds with me. Not like that would've changed anything, the phone was pretty much done for anyways.

Not for the first time, I paused and listened into the forest for any ruckus. Hearing nothing again I carried on albeit with a strain in my step, half-expecting something to rush at me from behind.

Was I being paranoid? I could've sworn I heard something in the trees and bushes… Just more of an incentive to get the hell out of these woods and back into my air-conditioned house. Besides, it was still light out; everyone knew nothing bad happened during the bright tides of noon. I knew I couldn't be that far from home, but the reason as to why I was so far out still eluded me.

Rather than relaxing, I slowly grew more and more antsy the further I walked. Where the hell were all the people? I knew my neighborhood wasn't exactly the noisiest place around, but at noon you'd at least hear some noisy kids going around on their bikes.

But now?

Nothing, nada, nilch. It was as if the entire town had collectively taken a day from the outdoors, leaving me the only person not in the know.

Reflexively, I reached for my pockets to make a phone call, only to be reminded of its broken and useless status. Oh, what I'd do for just one free call right about now… I shoved the phone back before I could give into the temptation of smashing it. Useless or not, having a phone was better than none at all. If worse came to worst, I could always be tracked from my phone's built-in GPS.

Thank God for invasive data-mining companies.

And more importantly, that phone had cost me quite a pretty penny. Last time I'd be splurging out on a phone I tell you. Rage breaking money, I was without.

I licked my dry lips. A nice cold glass of lemonade would go nice right about now; hells I'd even go for lukewarm water, anything to get some fluid in my mouth. Well, room temperature water; lukewarm, was pretty gross. The sun wasn't helping matters; the pain in my head had yet to subside and I was pretty sure I was hallucinating.

Would explain that figure I swear I'd seen flying overhead. Yep, I was definitely overdue for a nap. I usually couldn't stand wasting my time asleep, but being caught completely blindsided had a way of changing your opinions on things.

Whether or not I'd nap could come later, finding out where I came first. Soon enough, I came across a river. A quick dig through my memory came up with blanks on any rivers by my house; if I remembered right, the closest one had to be at least miles away. Well, that wasn't too important right now. I might've not been the most diligent Boy Scout, but even I knew a river would lead to people if I continued downstream.

Continuing for what felt like a few more minutes, I noticed the sun was now overhead. Struck me as odd, considering that I remembered it being midday when… I couldn't recall anything. I wanted to say I forgot but it was as if something had just reached into my mind and retracted any portion of my memory from right after… yeah still can't remember.

Had I been out of it longer than I thought? My heart began beating faster. I looked up, from the sky to the trees; it didn't look like anything had changed season wise, early summer. Other than total change is natural topography, that was.

I'd heard stories of people getting drunk and waking up with days, even weeks' worth of memories because they gotten cocky. But it couldn't have happened to me, right? I never had more than a glass at a time, nor could I taste the familiar stench of alcohol on me. But if it had really been weeks, it wouldn't matter whether I could smell it on my person or not. I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm my thundering heart.

Panicking wasn't going to do me any good here. I was - as far as I knew - very much alive and fine other than a few bumps here and there. A phone could always be replaced. I could always find new pants. I was sure I had at least a few bills stored away for a ride back home. Yeah, I could handle this. The same way I could handle the group of realistic looking monster animal girls. I would-

Wait a second.

I scratched my eyes to make sure there wasn't anything in them.

Nope, the realistic cosplayers were still there.
…

Yep, not going anywhere.

I stood there for what must've been only a minute or two, gawking, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. It wasn't until I saw one of the women actually levitate off the ground, that chills ran down my back. I hid my person behind a conveniently placed rock, curling behind it as I took another look.

I know you might be asking, 'Mattias, why didn't you go up to them and ask those people where the nearest town was?'. And you know what I have to say to that? Do you not care about your own life?!

If you see a bunch of scantily clad women in cosplay all milling about small village houses and not think 'CULT' in big bold letters, you should probably stay out of small alleys. And horror movies since it's clear you learned nothing from them. I mean, just what kind of normal people would just waddle around in the almost nude so close to civilization. And there weren't any nudist spots within a hundred-mile radius last I checked.

Why it had been checked is neither relevant now nor then.

I chanced another look around the boulder. No, scratch that, not levitating. The woman from before just straight up flew up, over the tree-line and went out of sight. I sat back around the boulder, my breathing beginning to pick up. Just what the hell had I seen? Alright, maybe I'm hallucinating, or am in some deep coma. I did have possibly weeks of unaccounted memory loss and woke up far from home… but this felt way too real for it to be a simple dream or hallucination.

My dreams were never this realistic; they were nonsensical for the most part, as with the few hallucinations I've had the displeasure of obtaining. I took yet another glance just to be sure I was actually seeing what my eyes saw.

Yep, women with animal appendages, and some that I could only describe as… monstrous. I know it wouldn't make sense to you, but you'd just have to be here to see it. The wings and tails that I noticed moving on their own slid easily into the familiar 'animal' territory, but the almost see-through transparent ones? Not so much.

"Man, I got to be tripping…" I muttered beneath my breath.

Just my luck, the first people I meet I'm not even sure are actually 'people'. In the 'being rational' sense… right? The thought of the woman flying up into the sky decided to come up in my mind again, threatening to break my thought process. I idly noticed myself taking deeper breaths than before.

Not good, I was panicking.

No, no if I just saw that, then… Then. Where the hell am I? I could still be dreaming right? Yeah, this could all just be a wacky dream, right? Yet whenever my mind seemed ready to settle for the 'dream; answer, the thought of moving appendages and flying woman - who were still there - came up again. My mind was a blur, trying to make sense of what I'd seen, all while I attempted to reject the reality I had just been served.

Thank heavens, I was more of a 'silent' panicker than the loud whiny kind. Or the crying kind. I just couldn't think of them as normal peopl- Oh bollocks, I was accepting it. And that gave me only two direct options.

Welcoming the madness full in hand and just exposing myself to these weirdos. The other, walking one-hundred and eighty degrees until something actually made sense.

It only took me a second to make my choice.

Rather the devil I know, than the possible one I didn't.

So, hell came for me first.

Bursting through the bush, I tripped face-forward over an overgrown root. I slammed face-first into the ground, the fresh grass stinging my skin as I felt little cuts open up across my face. Blood tinged my mouth, but the sharp pain was quickly swallowed by the pounding rhythm of my heart.

I had no clue where I was even running to, just that, I had to. Had to think, get my thoughts in order. Burn out all the anxiety before it tore me apart

But that usual strategy? Not working this time. I was in a state of disbelief, my eyes painting a picture that the 'rational' part of my brain refused to accept. You think I'm overreacting but let me drop you in front of alien animal women and see you keep your cool.

And that's without factoring in possible forest stalkers.

Man, what was I supposed to do. I wanted to scream, cry, laugh, maybe even rip my heart out just to feel something other than terror. But I knew none of that would do a damn thing—except bring more trouble.

I couldn't tell you how long I ran, could've been anything from a couple hours to mere minutes. I eventually collapsed, stumbling to the ground in a heap. At least I refrained from some sort of clarity and holy crap this did not just happen to me. I know it seems cliche but let me assure you, no one is prepared for a sudden spatial transport. It's one thing to watch it happen in a movie, your fatass comfortable in your seat with complete narrative omniscience on your side. But when it happens to you? It's a whole different kind of chaos.

But as for me? It didn't matter if this was a dream, or hallucination or whatever. If I was going to survive - exist - I needed to trust my senses. I had to ride it out… the aforementioned ride being a car going full throttle with no brakes.

Between all the panic and the running, I had been nearly drained out of energy. I wasn't too sure how time worked between here and Earth, but the bouts of tiredness suggested heavy time dilation. I was emotionally exhausted from the highs and lows of the morning, and I still could barely wrap my head around what I'd seen, let alone where I'd ended up.

Maybe I could snuggle up against those bushes. I shook off that thought. Waking up with rashes would just suck, no matter how tired I was. Nor did I want to sleep out in the open; who knew what people… things, I'd run into out here.

In the distance, I spotted what looked like a little wooden shack. Seemed like a hell of a lot more appealing than the pile of logs and sticks around me. Stumbling toward it, I practically shoved the rickety door open, my mind foggy and hazy. The smell of decaying wood and rotting plant life hit me in waves, but I was too exhausted to care. In any other situation, I might've had the decency to lay my jacket down first, but I was too damn spent. Honestly, I didn't even know if I hit the ground before I passed out.

I woke. It was afternoon, or was it morning again? No matter. The birds were singing, sun shining in through cracks of the little cabin and someone was pulling at my pants.

No, pulling wasn't the right word, jerking was the right word. I must've been really out of it, I was usually a rather light sleeper so the fact that I didn't wake up the moment I was touched said things about my mental state.

But yeah, no. I wasn't about to let my pants get stolen by some hobo.

"How broke are you?! Get your own pants!" A frustrated growl escaped my lips, and I kicked the person trying to steal my pants. That didn't seem to shake them off, so I swung and clocked whoever it was right in the nose. Not to self, no one, even alien otherworlders, likes a bothered nose. That seemed to do the trick, and they fell backwards in a huff. "Just what the hell man, I'm out here tryna slee…"

Instead of the hobo I expected, I was face to face with a woman.

She was a pretty, pale faced freckled creature that I'd have to place at around early twenties, with long copper hair ponytailed down her back, with some strands loose here and there. Her plump lips promised untold pleasures. She dressed like a - and I had no better words to describe it - skank. Nothing but the shortest black shorts in existence protected her nether regions; honestly, calling them 'shorts' was me being generous, it looked more like a strand of cloth. Her only other article of 'clothing' was a tight, cropped tank top that revealed very generous cleavage.

Calling her a 'creature' was right on the money. The limbs were where the human part of her ended; with two feathered wings in the place of hands and arms, and two bird-like feet that ended with talons.

Harpy. The name came to me quickly, but I was hardly focused on it. "Jus- What ar- Why are," I sputtered, unable to get my thoughts in order. No one told me I'd be meeting Greek myths today.

I finally settled on, "Why are you stealing my pants?"

She gave me a lecherous grin. "So I can steal what's in them."

Well, if that wasn't a booty call, I wasn't sure what was. I reached for the closest thing that could classify as a weapon- a sharp stick - and pointed it between us. "What do you mean?" Had I heard her right?

The harpy smiled, remaining calm. "Never seen a monster before?" She said it somewhat condescendingly, as if reminding a child that the moon and sun weren't the same.

"Yeah, duh, who hasn't?" I'd watched plenty of shows with monsters in them… and those same mediums that kept me wary of her. No matter how sweet her voice sounded, the sight of a harpy was never good news; these fiends of Zeus were always ready to punish any who offended the Gods. While I wasn't the most religious person, I wasn't sur- nevermind, Zeus had struck down people for far less. "Why did Zeus send you to me?"

"Zeuz?" She echoed, the word sounding foreign in her mouth. Her red eyes turned predatory. "Who's that? Just saw a poor little lost human who could use some help."

"I think I'm good on my own, thank you." I suspected as much, but it was still good to have confirmation. I wasn't sure how I'd go about living in an ancient Greece with actual Gods roaming around. "Now if you excuse me, I got things t-"

The harpy pounced like a hawk on a mouse, my poor stick dropping as I had the wind taken out of me. As before, she made a move for my pants. Again, with the pants! Currently, these were my only pair and waddling through forest in only underwear didn't strike as fun to me.

I squirmed and buckled my hips as I tried to shake her off me, but the harpy refused to give ground. She could give a bull rider a run for his money. Though her clawed appendages were tightened around my belt, I noticed her underbelly was left exposed.

Bringing my knees together, I bucked them up and winced. Just what the hell was she made off? Her stomach's cushy appearance didn't betray just how toned her underbelly was. Regardless, it did the job, causing her to let go and give me the split second I needed to get out of dodge.

"Feisty, aren't you?" She lunged at me the moment I got to the door, but I quickly closed it behind me causing her to run into it with a thud. "Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time to redirect that energy of yours."

A second later, I heard the door being tossed aside like nothing, and before I could react, something slammed into me from behind, sending me crashing to the ground.

At least the dirt's better than those rusty dingy floors.

"Now let's get these things off you," the harpy cooed, tugging at the helm of my pants.

"What are you talk- Get off me!" I screamed, well, sputtered. It was hard to get a good shout out with my face against the ground. I attempted to throw her off me only for a pair of admittedly soft, soothing feathers to pin my wrists to the forest floor, while weight was shifted down to immobilize my legs.

I shivered feeling a tongue drag itself along my neck, followed by nibbling in the same area. It wasn't unpleasant at all, rather the act sent tingles down my spine. Now that I wasn't clouded by drowsiness, I was able to really feel her; those soft, warm feathers felt great against my aching back, even through the fabric, and she smelled good enough to eat.

"You just taste so delightful, I can't wait to have the real thing," she cooed in desire, her breath hot against my nape. She had the kind of voice that tickled a guy's hormones; a little deep, with a hint of a foreign quality I couldn't quite discern. "I'll make sure to take good care of you."

That's the fast food grease for you. I wasn't starting to just feel her heat, I was starting to feel very hot myself; turns out not just my nose was not the only enjoyer in this. I could feel blood pooling towards my lower body, my pants and underwear feeling tighter under the stress.

But as any guy would say, an uncomfortable boner is an uncomfortable boner, no matter how turned on one may be. And it especially hurt, being up against the ground. That jolt of pain was all I needed to snap out of her spell. Only then did it occur to me the absurdity of this situation; a weird animal girl going down on me like a hound smelling a rabbit in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, quite forcibly I might add.

Wasn't that rape?

Yeah, it was. I should've been more angry at this but I was too… bewildered by the situation to really bring out my emotions. I just needed time to think for myself, which wouldn't be done as long as I had this harpy on me.

I noticed that while my wrists were firmly planted down, my arms were without that restriction. I tuck my elbows inward and push up, the act startling the harpy enough to loosen the grip on my wrist. I wasted no time, and grabbed one of her wings, engaging her in a brief tussle. It ended in our positions flipped, with me on top of her this time around.

"Taking the lead, huh?" With her face flushed light pink, she gazed up, eyes equal parts daring and lustful. I could practically feel her trembling beneath me, not in fear - she showed more than enough strength to turn the tables should she wish - but more… anticipation. "So, you're going to ravage me instead?"

I can't lie; I was tempted to just give her what she wanted. Now that I was really looking right at her, I could say without a doubt she had the kind of face that could give any model on Earth a run for their money. It was a little uncanny; even beautiful people had little flaws and blemishes that could be picked out, but she had none to be found.

Just another reminder of what she was.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, the choice to screw wasn't mine to make.

The ground began to creak under my feet, and that was the only warning I received before something came up beneath the two of us, throwing me and the harpy away from each other. I landed against a tree, my vision blurring briefly from the crash.

I turned to see who had interrupted us and again I was taken by surprise. She was a slim, slender beauty with unblemished skin. Her tan skin and bright green eyes complimented each other, with killer curves that provided more than enough eye-candy, especially so since she lacked any clothing at all.

The flower that sprouted out of her head drew my attention more than her breasts. I would've found it hard to tear my eyes from them if I wasn't so goddamned confused. Then the plant-woman opened her mouth and screamed. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it sounded like on account of being dazed, but the effects were impossible to ignore.

A tingling sensation spread over my skin, similar to the falling of a limb 'falling asleep'. It was uncomfortable with the forest brush pushed up against me, but I laid there still, unable to move. It took all that was in me just to tremble my fingers, and it set my nerves ablaze as if I were completing a monumental task.

"I move out here to try and get some sleep but no, always a ruckus above me," the plant-woman complained, looking down on both of us. I noticed the harpy wasn't nearly as affected as I was, already moving to glare at the plant-woman; the motion reminded me of a child upset at having their toy taken from them. Said woman's eyes widened upon a second glance at me. "But I'm willing to let it go for a treat…"

The look in her eyes told me that she was not talking about sugary candy.

"Can't you just photosynthesize nectar or something?" I tried and failed to push myself away, finding my arms still much too weak to make any real progress. "Way sweeter than little old smelly and dirty, I promise!"

But seriously, how did those plants on her head work? Did it sprout from roots directly in her brain? Or maybe her human form was an extension of the plant itself, some kind of parasitic organism? In a better setting, I would've loved to take her apart and see what was going on in there, preferably one where she didn't plan on doing the same to me but in reverse.

"Hmm, nectar's good but nothing can compare to good seed…" A vine burst through the ground and latched onto both my legs, pulling me towards the plant woman. "It's rude to wake up a lady and not offer her something to eat, don't you know?"

"How about an 'IOU'?" One I planned to repay on neversday.

I never got to hear her reply.

The harpy snarled in animalistic fury and tackled the plant-girl before she could make any real attempt on my person.

"Get your fucking roots off him, you overgrown weed!" She all but growled, pinning both the plant-woman's arms to the ground. "I found him first, he's mine! Get your own damn man."

The plant woman smiled as vines wrapped themselves around the harpy and hoisted her off the ground. "And now I found him. You know how hard it is to find a man all the way out here?" She paused to throw me a particularly lecherous look. "Now why don't you fly back to your little chicken coop and I'll enjoy my meal in peace."

"Like hell I will, bitch."

Only then did I realize just how sharp her talons were. In a single swipe, the harpy ripped through the vines like they were paper, then flew out of reach of new ones that regrew in their place. She didn't remain in the air for long, coming down in a dive bomb that hit the plant-woman head on.

It could only be chalked up to dumb luck that I hadn't managed to accidentally get myself torn by those talons during my tussle with the harpy. Just another reminder on a long list of others that I was among monsters now, far from home.

Monsters who were now fighting for the right to bed me? Rape me? Yeah, bed sounded nicer. My luck that the women who fought over me the most would not even be the same species as me. A dry laugh escaped my mouth as I began to work myself to a stand. Monsters hunting my meat and not my meat.

There was still a small seed of doubt in the corner of my brain telling me that this was all a lie, and I'd wake up to pale white walls, if only at how ridiculous it all was. And if someone is pulling a cosmic prank on me, I'm not laughing.

With both monster girls preoccupied, there was no better time than now to make a run for it. I stumbled on the first step, catching a tree before I fell. Even with the paralysis wearing off, my legs felt they'd been transformed into leads of weight, and the same pins and needles sensation could be felt with every movement. More of an incentive to get on out of here; I didn't want to know what would happen to me if I heard her scream two times in a row.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly take steps forward, finding my footing easier with each step.

Life was definitely going to be putting me through the ringer from now on and I was just going to have to bear it all out.

Would be nicer in some clean pants.