Hi there, readers, and welcome to my attempt to put some anime through the MCU formula. There will be more in the future, but for now it's just a Fullmetal Alchemist AU. Also, despite some similarities between worlds, there will be no MCU characters. This is not a complete crossover between Marvel and FMA. If that doesn't appeal to you, there are other fics for you to enjoy. Just getting that out there right now.

But if this kind of thing tickles your fancy, here's a little something for you. I hope you enjoy it.

As a disclaimer, I do not own the rights to any characters, settings, or concepts contained here.

- CaveTroll

Edward Elric slowly forced his heavy eyelids open. There he was. In a white void, staring directly at the blackened stone of the Gate of Truth.

He'd done it. He had performed human transmutation on himself. He couldn't help but let out a tiny, manic laugh at that thought. This taboo had gotten him and Alphonse into the entire mess with Dante and the Homunculi. And now, it was going to get at least one of them out.

In return for himself, but that was a price he was willing to pay. He'd seen the other side, after all. He knew something of what to expect.

As the stone doors opened and the sea of eyes peered out at him, Edward couldn't help but smile. "Hello again," he breathed, holding his arms open, as if to embrace them all. "Didn't think you'd see me so soon, huh?"

The silent figures did not reply. They simply reached out with their tendril-like arms, wrapping the appendages around the boy and slowly dragging him inwards.

Edward did not resist. He didn't so much as flinch. He was too tired, too exhausted for such things. Such emotions. He was tired. So tired.

He felt something pass him by as he entered the Gate. Something he knew could only be his little brother. Good old Alphonse. Whatever lay before him, Edward hoped that Al would at least get the life he deserved. They'd lost too much for him to receive anything less. Equivalent Exchange. It was nice when such systems worked to your benefit, he mused to himself.

He heard the Gate close behind him, trapping him in darkness and the claustrophobic grip of those who called the Gate home. Despite everything, Edward felt at peace.

Until a set of what felt to be human arms wrapped around his waist, and a gravely voice crooned in his ear, "There you are, pipsqueak."

Edward tried to grasp the all too human limbs, but the grip of the tendrils was too strong. He struggled anyways, grunting with the effort, fear, confusion, and frustration that suddenly gripped his heart. "Envy?" he shouted, his bewildered cry muffled in the enclosed space. "Why the hell haven't you crossed over?"

Envy chuckled, his grip tightening around Edward. "They won't take me to the bastard. But they'll take you, won't they?"

"What the hell are you babbling about?" Edward finally managed to get one hand free, and was attempting to pry off the homunculus to no avail.

As a bright light shone upon them through the sea of limbs and giggling things, Envy cackled. "Oh, I'd love to explain, but it seems that we are out of time! We'll have to pick this up on the other side, little brother."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, YOU SON OF A-" Whatever else Edward said was lost as their ears started to ring, and the light consumed all they could see.

And with that, both blacked out.

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind

Thinking I can see through this

And see what's behind

Got no way to prove it,

So maybe I'm lying

But I'm only human after all

I'm only human after all

Don't put your blame on me

~ Human, Rag'n'Bone Man

It was a quiet night in the city of East Bank. The waves of the sea lulled the seagulls to sleep, and while the usual crowds of nightlife were indeed present in the bars and hotels of the city, a sense of peace had fallen over everything.

This did not help Roy's nerves.

Roy Mustang was an agent of SHIELD, an international organization that handled threats considered too dangerous or too strange for any police or military force to fully commit to eliminating. East Bank was his to watch over. And in his line of work, a moment of peace was just a breath of calm before another shit storm. Even when all he was doing was sitting in a pub, trying to enjoy a night off.

Another thing that wasn't doing so well for his composure was Hughes taking advantage of their off-time to rant about this girl he'd started dating.

"I'm telling you, Roy, she's gotta be the one," the eternally happy-go-lucky man was saying, his eyes gleaming with delight beneath his glasses. "We went out to Olive Garden; wasn't too sure about it myself, but she absolutely loved it! Oh, then we went to see that new Spider-Man movie! You know, the one with Miles and all those other universes. And get this, she was the one to suggest it! Oh, you should have seen that cute little blush she had when she asked. So adorable!"

"Oh, great," Roy grumbled, rolling his eyes. "Someone else to share your nerd shit with. I'd be impressed if it wasn't so sad to watch. Not to mention Olive Garden."

Hughes huffed, folding his arms and turning away. "You're just jealous you can't find yourself a good woman."

Roy scoffed. "Come on, I can get a good woman anytime I want."

Hughes smirked. "Really? Do I need to remind you about your last girl? What was her name again? Stellaris? No, that can't be it."

Instead of strangling Hughes, Roy chose to apply his death grip to his shotglass. Bringing it to his lips, he muttered, "It was Solaris, asshole."

"Oh, right, Solaris," Hughes chuckled darkly, picking up his beer. "The gal who personally led you in circles while stealing classified documents concerning your little pet project."

"We got them back," Roy protested. "Besides, her capture led to my promotion, so I think it worked out alright."

"My point still stands," Hughes answered, his expression turning more somber. "Come on, I know you're still beating yourself up about it. As much as I joke, it wasn't your fault."

Roy sighed. "Yeah... I know," he grumbled, finally downing the alcohol, grimacing at the burn in his throat. "Look, I'm just not interested at the moment, alright? I still need some time."

"And a therapist," Hughes remarked matter-of-factly. "And don't you deny it, you need a good one. Not a lot of marbles rattling around up there."

Roy felt an eye twitch. "Thank you. Maes. I really needed to hear my best friend call me insane."

Hughes chuckled, tilting a hand back and forth. "Ehhh, not quite there, but it's just a skip and a hop away."

"Alright," Roy growled, slamming his shotglass against the bar. "Message recieved. I'll get a damned therapist already."

"Thank you." Hughes set his glass aside, giving Roy a wicked grin. "It's my job to worry when my best friend's going cuckoo."

Roy grabbed Hughes's collar, almost shouting, "Don't you condescend to me when YOU'VE already gone off the deep end!"

Hughes merely shrugged, ignoring the stares of the other customers. "Guilty as charged! Why do you think I'm recommending it?"

Roy growled again, his grip tightening for a second, then sighed in defeat, letting Hughes go. "As much as I hate to admit it... You may have a point."

"Duh," Hughes chuckled, snapping his fingers. "Another shot for us?"

As the drinks were poured out, Roy stared at his glass, a dead expression on his face. "Sometimes I feel like accepting this post was a mistake. It's almost a goddamn warzone out here."

"No kidding," Hughes muttered. "There's a lot on our plates here. Feels like a bit much for one city, if you ask me."

Sighing heavily, Roy got to his feet, stumbling a little. "I think I'll call it a night, Hughes."

"Need me to call a cab?"

Roy shook his head. "Nah, I got it."

Maes frowned, tilting his head. "You sure, buddy? You look a little tipsy."

"Yeah, I got that, uhh..." He snapped his fingers twice. "What's the word... Autopilot system put in."

"Oh, that finally got through R&D?"

"Yeah, good timing, right?" Mustang chuckled, slapping a twenty on the bar. "Good night, Hughes."

"Night, Roy. Don't get yourself killed on the way to bed."

Mustang rolled his eyes as he walked out into the night.

The sky was clear. Not that it mattered much, thanks to the light pollution above, but at least it wasn't wet and miserable. That would have made his stumbling trip back to his SUV quite difficult.

He clumsily fished his keys from his pocket, almost dropping them twice before he hit the unlock button. The car beeped twice, and he winced at the noise. "Note to self," he grumbled, hopping in and slowly strapping himself down. "Drink lots and lots of water when you get back home."

He turned the key in the ignition, sighing again as the engine whirred to life. Hughes had been right, of course. Therapy was a must, and it had been on his mind for some time now. If his workload had been any smaller, he would have gotten some a while ago. Still, with everything seemingly calming down these days, that was looking more and more like an excuse.

"Hello, Roy Mustang," said an automated female voice, "And welcome to the SHIELD Automated Pilot System. A high concentration of alcohol has been detected in your breath, and the SAPS has been automatically activated. What destination do you have in mind, sir?"

Mustang snorted. "Better than advertised," he muttered. "Uh, home."

"Affirmative. Course set for 311 October Drive." As the SUV began to pull out into the almost abandoned street, it asked, "Would you like some music or radio while you ride, sir?"

Mustang shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe some, uh, Three Days Grace?"

"Affirmative. Playing Three Days Grace on Spotify."

The radio came on. "Pain without love-"

"Stop playing," he snapped. "Just..." Sighing heavily, he kneaded his forehead. "Just drive."

The music stopped. "Affirmative. Would you like-" Suddenly, the car hit the brakes, and a pair of loud thumps shook the vehicle.

Mustang jumped at the noise, instinctively reaching for the pistol that wasn't in his coat. "What the hell was that?" he shouted, looking out each and every window in turn. This was certainly one way to sober up.

"Notice," answered the oh so helpful Pilot System. "Two life signs detected on top of the vehicle. Mild bruising detected. Deploy safety measures?"

Mustang frowned, opening up the glove compartment and pulling out a taser. "Not yet," he muttered, grabbing the handle of the door. "Are they conscious?"

"Negative," the system answered.

"Good," he said with a nod, opening the door and stepping outside to take a look.

Right there, atop his car, there were two young men. One was tall and lean, wearing a tight crop top and what seemed to be a combination of skirt and shorts right above a strange, red tattoo. A tattoo depicting a winged snake devouring its own tail around what he wanted to say was a star. His black hair was long and styled in spikes, held out of his face by a black bandanna.

But the other... He was shorter and blond, with his hair tied back in a ponytail, wearing just his pants. But his arms... One had been replaced with a mechanical limb unlike anything Mustang had ever seen. A veritable piece of art that would have the medical markets drooling over the prospective profits.

He stared openly at the pair, almost letting the taser fall from his grip. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. He was an Agent of SHIELD, the weird and wacky were no strangers to him. But this was pushing it.

The taller one's eyes opened. Indigo eyes, full of spite and hatred locked onto his, and the young man actually hissed, rolling onto his hands and feet as he growled, "Mustang!"

Mustang's training kicked in as the stranger lunged at him. The taser hit the young man in the stomach and sparked to life, causing the would be assailant to convulse and fall to the ground with a shriek of pain. "What in the hell?" he breathed, taking a few steps back to reevaluate the figure.

The stranger got to his feet, groaning as he held his stomach. "That. Hurt," he growled, raising an arm and glaring up at Mustang. Mustang's eyes widened as the arm's shape changed before his eyes, growing into more of a tentacle than a human limb. The young man brought it down on Mustang, screaming, "YOU BASTAAARD!"

At the last second, Mustang dodged out of the way. Too late, as it turned out, as the limb hit his shoulder, spinning Mustang in the air before he landed on the road with a painful jolt.

The young man grinned wickedly, raising the limb to do it all over again, but then a foot hit him in the face, sending him off to the side with a scream.

The other stranger had awoken, and was glaring after the first as his feet hit the ground. Then his gaze turned towards Mustang, and his golden eyes widened in shock. "Mustang?" he asked, as if afraid of the answer.

Mustang shook his head, getting back up to his feet. "Shapeshifter first, questions later," he ordered, gripping his taser tighter. "Any info I can use, here?"

The blond glanced down at the weapon, frowning. "You're, uh, gonna need something with a bit more kick than whatever that thing has."

The agent smirked, turning a dial on the side of the taser. "That's what you think," he said with a chuckle, feeling it warm in his hands.

The first stranger growled, getting to his feet as his arm reverted to its former state. "I'll get you for that, pipsqueak!" he screamed, charging at them both.

Mustang stepped between the two strangers, jabbing the taser into the first man's oncoming fist.

The raven haired lunatic froze, twitching as actual electric sparks danced along his frame. The second after that, he found himself flying back into a dumpster, pushing it back and denting the metal. And there he lay, twitching and groaning, but otherwise making no sound or movement.

Mustang smiled, turning the taser off and turning to the blond. "You were saying?"

The boy was just staring at him. No, at his taser. There wasn't shock in his expression either, just... deep thought.

Mustang frowned. "You, uh, you alright, there?"

The boy looked up, his golden eyes almost staring into Mustang's soul. He then smiled, chuckling as he shook his head. "You're not quite as professional as I expected you to be, Mustang."

Mustang's frown turned into a scowl. "How do you two know my name?"

"Ah," the boy shrugged, turning away. "It's a long story. And I doubt you'd believe me if I told you."

Mustang's eyes narrowed. "I'm going to call for someone to pick up your buddy there," he said, forcing his anger down as much as he could. "But after that, I'd like to hear everything."