PROBLEMATIC
Chapter 4
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Following the direction of Donna's alert eyes, a POS came screeching into the parking area near us, narrowly avoiding the cordoned off zone, just away from the dramatic scene that obviously attracted him, which made me wonder how the hell he knew I was here. I heard a distinct growl of disgust come from Donna.
"What the hell?" remarked Natalie in surprise as the POS came to a sudden halt.
"Friends?" she asked warily. "This one doesn't look friendly at all to me."
I groaned, audibly it seems, as I watched him emerge from his vehicle which made Donna look at me questioningly.
"Brace yourself," I warned.
"You know him? He looks rather angry, like someone pissed in his Corn Flakes," she observed astutely. "Bet he thinks he's a thing with the ladies with that swagger, but going by that glare and his stomping, I'd hazard a guess that you are his target. I'm not getting excited. Boyfriend?"
"No. Ex. Long-time ex, but he isn't with the program. Wait for it. You get to see, and hear his special performance. I call it the Cupcake Rant."
"Cupcake Rant?" Her face screwed up with that, like she'd just eaten a lemon or something bitter more likely.
"Like I said, brace yourself. It's pathetic. To be honest, it's embarrassing. I warn you, he goes on, you know, OTT. He's probably going to go off like a fire cracker now that he's seen this. Meh."
I raised my eyebrows at her with a grimace, and sighed again as the douche made his surly way over to me. Happy thoughts gone. Oh yes. He was winding himself up, his nostrils already flaring, while I prepared myself for the verbal onslaught. I channelled my inner Zen to calm and not react. I took a deep cleansing breath. Zennnnn…
Stopping to take in the scene once again, his eyes darting to the smouldering wreckage before he stared down at his boots as he gathered his thoughts. Lordy, Lordy, so melodramatic. Yes, the old stare-down-at-the-boots trick before he hits attack mode and lashes out. I was not actually perturbed because he was about to make a first class ass of himself, drawing his stupid wrong conclusions, as he usually does. But this time he is going to really get it all ass about. Hm. This could actually be fun, as I maintained my blank expression, sipping the last of my coffee, sitting back doing my best to look relaxed. Watching Morelli lose control with a different audience might be fun.
Much to my relief, Lester and Cal arrived from the same direction, more sedately, in a nice shiny black Rangeman SUV. Morelli had not seen them yet since he was too busy deciding his plan of attack. There was a lot of unintelligible muttering. They climbed out and walked over to the side, his blind side, checking out the scene closely, looking at me, acknowledging my signal as I lifted my chin, doing my Rangeman ESP thing, indicating Morelli was poised to attack. They nodded. With rapid fingers, Lester signed, "Are you really okay?" I nodded, tapped my chin saying "thank you", and gave him a thumbs up. While learning Spanish with Hector, Lester and Cal had me learning sign language as an alternative communication strategy. It was fun communicating over our cubbies in the control room, as part of practice strategies, and some mischief. But, I digress.
In the meantime, Cal already had his phone out, videoing the scene. He nodded to me with an extra chin lift, ESP-ing me as well, patting his heart in a show of relief. His shoulders visibly relaxed in acknowledgment. Then he had his phone ready, winking at me, for the special gala performance about to reveal itself in all its glory. I sighed inwardly.
"Mm-mm," came the soft murmur from Natalie. "Nice friends you have, Stephanie. Cute and easy on the eye. But this grumpy one could be, but isn't, if his body language wasn't screaming fury. Not in the same league. Nope."
"You nailed that, Natalie." I covered my smile with my coffee cup and winked at her. I breathed in through my nose, composing myself by maintaining an air of nonchalance.
Donna stifled a chuckle but then slammed down her blank face. Here we go. Action stations!
"What the hell, Cupcake? All the first responders? Paramedics? Firemen? And the police?"
Well, duh! I know what the first responders are. Natalie chuckled. Shit. Did I vocalise that?
As if on cue, we watched the ambulance leave, heading south towards Trenton, lights flashing but without the sirens. Everyone paused, out of respect. Morelli also paused, watching it depart, shaking his head is disdain before scowling at me.
"How the fuck do you keep doing this? Look at your car! I can't believe you killed another car! But no! You had to destroy yours and three others. And someone is seriously injured because of all this? Plus, you started a fire?! Two cars in cinders. I can't believe how you do this! I thought you were a better driver than that. Four cars, now that has to be a record, even for you. Four! I wonder who will win the betting pool on that one?"
A growl from the sidelines told me Lester and Cal were pissed off with those remarks. Morelli's arms were already gesticulating wildly, flapping at his sides, ready for the next phase of his performance. Yep, he was exasperated. Same old, same old. Here comes the pacing. It seems that Donna echoed their growls at the same time.
Natalie was having difficulty not cracking up out loud. Donna was watching him intensely, but nudged her daughter as a subtle warning. She knew his sort, the way Morelli was winding up, I could tell. "Always the gesticulations then the pacing starts before the arms start flapping," I mumbled.
Did he ask if I was okay? Nope. Not at all. My guys did, first thing. Gotta love my Merry Men. Even though I showed them on my video, seeing me in the flesh and still checking meant so much to me. Genuine concern. Validation. They genuinely cared.
"You need to quit your job. You're useless at it anyway. Look at this mess! I'm… I'm… speechless."
For someone claiming he was speechless he had a lot to say. At his "quit your job" remark Donna whiplashed towards me, but scowled at the angry Italian. Oh boy. I bet she's going to love the next bit. A quick glance at Lester indicated he knew what was coming and wasn't happy about prolonging it. Without giving away their position between the trucks, I made the subtle calm down gesture which Morelli didn't see while he was pacing.
"Honestly, Cupcake. You're such an embarrassment. Look at you. By the time I get back to the TPD, I'll have to take extra Maalox," at which Donna lifted her head making a couple of slight nods as she figured it out. Her eyes narrowed. The look of disgust was clear on her face. "I won't be able to live this one down. Why do you keep doing this to me? I'll be the laughing stock at the TPD. It's so humiliating when you keep doing crap like this."
Sharing extra information, like mentioning the TPD, I can tell that Donna has locked onto that by the slight shift in her posture. Stupid asshole is digging a hole for himself. It's just going to get deeper before he is done with all this.
"Cupcake?" Natalie choked and sipped her coffee quickly to cover with a not so subtle coughing snort. "That's creepy weird. Why is he all about himself? He sounds so selfish. Jeez. What an ego!"
I just nodded at that last remark. Natalie read his body language well, and I bet Donna has already summed him up. I like the way they are letting him vent and rant without interruptions. I smirked behind my coffee cup, knowing that he is only just warming up. I glanced at Lester and he winked in return. He knew.
Luckily for Natalie, Morelli didn't hear her very astute observations. In his fury he seems to have selective hearing, like wild waves crashing inside his ears. Perhaps it's all that hot-blooded Italian passion that his mother told me about. I rolled my eyes. Donna remained inscrutable, taking it all in, making mental notes. I know that look: stoic and impassive, whilst assessing him. It must be her blank face, her cop face. She'd be good at Rangeman.
Oh. Here comes round two.
"I won't even ask how it happened. I just can't believe you still think it's appropriate to keep doing this bullshit apprehension shit." He paused and looked pointedly at my wannabe carjacker.
"What's he doing? Is he your skip?" The dripping sarcasm had really stepped up with his contempt.
I replied impassively, "He's just sleeping."
Natalie coughed again and pretended to finish the rest of her coffee, which was already empty.
"Yeah right. Sleeping. Sure. I see the cuffs."
"Citizen's arrest, Morelli," I said in my best deadpan voice. Donna shifted in her seat and looked at me, only slightly and grinned, recognition dawning on her face. Confirmation. That was her light bulb moment. She figured it out. I winked at her and made a little shrug.
"What the hell? Can't you just leave well enough alone? Do you seek these crazies out? You're a magnet for disaster, just like I see here. Why do you always cause all this drama? You need to settle down. Come back and behave like a proper Burg woman. Yeah. Settle down and marry me and have some kids. What are people going to say? You're an embarrassment. Your mother is going to be a wreck when she hears about this. I just can't believe how you get yourself into this shit."
A coughing gag with a snort accompanied Natalie's reaction.
"Drama?" Gasp. "Is he kidding? He is the one making such a drama."
"Marry?" Snort. "Eeuw. Seriously? Pass!"
I think Natalie was having a few moments. Suddenly, she got up and left the bench, walking away with her fist in her mouth. I heard her whisper to Lester, "Is this guy for real?" They both nodded, rolling their eyes, Lester with his arms folded, except for Cal who was still videoing Morelli. So far, it was pretty tame for a Cupcake Rant. Well, to me it was rather tame, since he was slightly put off by my new friends sitting on the bench beside me. But, frankly, he never seemed to bother before about having an audience.
However, this afternoon Joseph Morelli was attaining a new level of contempt. He was repeatedly baiting me with his sneering remarks. But, I was not playing the game by his rules which annoyed the shit out of him. Being unresponsive and impassive is good.
As Tank had said, "It's a better way to press his buttons by not reacting. Play by your own rules. Do not lower yourself to his level." Tank is a wise man.
Marty was coming to and tried to move but realised he was still cuffed. "What the fuck?"
"Shut up Marty. I arrested you for carjacking my car and had to stun you while you resisted arrest."
Marty looked confused. His free hand went to his head, like he had a bad headache.
"What the hell, Cupcake? You have no authority. You are not the police."
"Just as she said, she made a citizen's arrest." Donna confirmed.
She slowly stood up and folded her arms, while glaring at Morelli, her weight balanced on one hip, as an annoyed and irritated woman does so well.
"A crime was committed and there was probable cause to suspect he was guilty. I will bear witness to that. A warrant is not required. But you probably know that already."
Ooh. Now this could be interesting. I tried to control the squirm of excitement within.
For a moment he scowled, doing a semi-goldfish routine since she had interrupted his next onslaught before he slammed down his cop face, showing such arrogance and contempt at the feisty woman who dared to interrupt him.
"Who the fuck asked you?" Yikes. He was showing his true colours now. Misogyny comes close.
Donna unhurriedly eyed him as she stood confidently in her jeans, white t-shirt and denim jacket. Her heeled boots idly kicked a stone as she captured his attention, all five foot four inches of her. His extra height didn't perturb her whatsoever. Donna was not easily intimidated. The more I see of her, the more I like her.
Calmly, she badged him, showing her identification. "Lieutenant Donna Benson, New Brunswick PD. And you are?"
I detected that slight twitch of annoyance as he tried to recover his cop face from the sneering contempt he was displaying as he looked down on her, emphasising his superior height. I rolled my eyes. Jeez, Joe. I was shaking my head.
"Detective Joseph Morelli, Trenton PD," he retorted bluntly.
Big deal. This would be a good time for him to shut up. But, this is Joseph Morelli we're talking about. His ego will be his undoing. With the fact that she is a woman, he is going to show his arrogance as well. Fucking idiot. A closed mouth gathers no foot and I predict he's about to stuff both his feet in. I did notice it had taken a bit of that wind out of his patronising sails, but that didn't last long.
A lieutenant way outranks a mere detective. Oh joy. I could see the flashing grin from Lester. Just to make his day, Lester and Cal stepped forward. Lester came over to me and hugged me gently. Morelli was furious that they suddenly appeared. Natalie resumed her place on the bench beside me.
"It's good to see you in the flesh, Beautiful." I sighed and nodded, feeling better for the genuine, caring support. The hug felt good, too.
"Oh right! You've been whoring yourself out to his men now? These two must be your current favourites. Seriously? Or are you into threesomes now? You disgust me." He spat the words out with such contempt.
Donna, still with her arms folded, gave him daggers, her foot tapping audibly. I knew what she was doing as she was assessing him, while giving him enough rope to hang himself.
"Whoring?" I retorted. "This coming from the manwhore of Trenton himself?"
If looks could kill, Lester and Cal had him dead on the spot, shrivelled by their laser-like glare while outwardly they showed amazing restraint. I recognised the look. It was a credit to their superior experience and the ability to maintain restraint under duress, even like this, protecting me and my honour. It comes with the territory in their domain as security experts, but especially from their expertise as seasoned soldiers.
"Jeez Morelli. You don't get it. None of it."
With that I turned my back on him, treating him with the ignore he deserved.
"Does he always do this? Losing control, mouthing off at you like that? You don't seem to be surprised, like you expected it? Is this the Cupcake Rant to which you referred? He calls you Cupcake?" The last question was uttered with disapproval as she shook her head. Natalie was pissed off on my behalf as well.
I noticed Morelli was checking out the vehicles muttering and shaking his head. I recognised a few Italian words but the rest was muffled as his head turned away. He was obviously trying to regroup before he cut in for the next volley of vitriol. Fucking idiot. Like I don't need this. I don't deserve his crap. I took a deep breath, maintaining my composure, keeping calm, just like Ranger taught me, breathing in and out consciously. In through my nose, slowly out through my mouth.
"Yep. It doesn't mean that I like it. I hate that 'Cupcake' endearment," using my fingers to indicate virtual quotation marks, "But, for the rest, it's the same old routine, right from the screeching dramatic arrival, the stomping over, stopping to eyeball his boots, the gesticulating, the pacing and the wild arms flapping, along with that condescending tone. Hm. Yes. It's his MO at a scene like this. I am so over it. But don't get me wrong. I'm not just rolling over and taking it. It's not worth me losing control since he only hears what he wants to hear anyway. So, there's no point when he has already made up his mind that it must be all my fault." I shrugged with my palms out. "One of us over-reacting and losing it is enough. He seems to get off on all that pseudo rage and passion. You know, part of the urban myth of the Italian Stallion bullshit." I stated dispassionately.
"Italian Stallion?" Natalie was laughing again. "If this wasn't so serious, I wouldn't be laughing, but what kind of idiot calls himself the Italian Stallion?"
She growled, "And what's with the whoring? He sounds certifiably insane. Is he a narcissist? He sounds like a control freak. Nice touch with the manwhore comeback," she chuckled.
I looked over at Morelli, the muttering moron, pacing the wreckage and taking photos with his phone. After a few more, he sent a message. Oh joy. I wonder who gets it first? Mommy Dearest or the betting pool?
"Go figure. Self-proclaimed, I reckon, you know how some guys need that macho shit to inflate their ego."
With all that muttering, I wasn't just going to stand there and wait for him because I knew he was hankering for another round of agitation, just so he could spew some more of his verbal diarrhoea. He was not done yet.
I looked firmly at Marty. "Marty. You are now going to handed over to Rangeman Security, the Bond Enforcement Agents for Vincent Plum Bail Bonds since you failed to appear in court on the due date. They have all the documentation," which Lester showed to Donna as the person with the highest authority. I uncuffed him from the bench and handed him over to Lester who re-cuffed him, but waited, looking at me expectantly. I nodded.
He was torn between securing Marty in the SUV or staying close for my protection. I said, "Go secure Marty. The SUV is just there, and he can watch from there, safely out of the way." He nodded in acknowledgment, but was back in no time, ready for the next tirade, his alert eyes on Morelli.
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