Wow. I am actually quite surprised at the reaction this story got. I didn't know Future Diary was that popular...or maybe it was the fact that I had paired Harry with an endearing psychopath with a thing for explosives and eyepatches. However, I should reiterate that this story is still being worked on, and has no guarantee of being published. Oh, I do intend to publish a Future Diary story of some sort some time in the future, and if this one meets the requirements, it's getting published. If not...well, a Harry/Minene story is still on the cards, but...well, so is a Harry/Yuno story, if I can get it to work, as mentioned in the last chapter.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy...

MISOTHEISM AND MAGIC

CHAPTER 2:

A HEARTWARMING REUNION, THIS IS NOT

James Potter hated Halloween. It was a reminder of how his family had been torn apart by the work of a madman. It was a reminder of the son he had failed.

True, Moony had asked to take him himself, and James agreed, believing that Moony, despite his condition, would make a good father, no, a better father than James ever could be for a Squib. And after hearing of their deaths in the Middle East, after Moony went there for a job (Dumbledore had apparently some contacts there who'd be willing to hire a werewolf), well, James was devastated. It was one thing to try and avoid the shame of a Squib, one who had lost his magic thanks to whatever Voldemort did, but he had sent Harry with Moony, not that stupid plan of Dumbledore's involving Lily's sister. But James had never wanted Harry dead. Indeed, he wanted him to have a happy life.

He and Sirius nearly came to blows over the issue. Only the need to stay strong for Charles' sake kept them together, and while they were still on good terms, Remus and Harry's respective deaths were still sore points with the two surviving Marauders. And for James, Lily's death was another sore point.

It was because of Halloween seemingly being ill-fated for his family that James Potter was here. Back in 2001, a troll somehow went on the rampage here, and his son, along with Weasley's youngest son, had to stop it before it killed a Muggleborn girl. In 2002, the first attack by what turned out to be a Basilisk happened. In 2003, a Dementor nearly Kissed his son and his friends while they were wandering the grounds.

And now, here they were, with the beginning of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. James was actually tempted to enter Charles into the Tournament, to have him show his stuff, but that could backfire. There was a perception in Hogwarts, and indeed Magical Britain in general, that James Potter and his son had a tendency to throw their weight around, and while this wasn't without some basis in truth, it was mostly exaggeration. It was mostly in the Wizengamot that James did so, trying to hobble the supposedly former Death Eaters. Fudge, however, tended to listen to the one with the biggest wallet, and James Potter, while charitable, refused to go down the road of bribery. Though the DMLE owed much of its funding to his donations.

Still, this ought to be interesting. As the Champions were announced, he took note. He had to admit, he thought the Beauxbatons Champion was a bit of a snooty tart. VERY easy on the eyes, but she was part-Veela. She seemed to embody the stereotype of French arrogance, but he knew Fleur Delacour's father was an Auror of no small renown within the French DMLE. Viktor Krum…well, he knew how much the boy detested his fame, and the plague that came along with it. Fangirls.

And then, Amos' boy was chosen as the Hogwarts Champion. Nice choice. Cedric was clean-cut, a good skilled all-rounder, and one of those Hufflepuffs that was living proof that the House wasn't a dumping ground for the miscellaneous children who didn't suit any of the other Houses.

But after the Champions went into the antechamber off the Great Hall, the Goblet of Fire flared up again. Dumbledore caught the parchment that was vomited up, and stared at it in surprise. And soon, James Potter, and everyone else in the Great Hall, was sharing that surprise, when Dumbledore announced the name that was written on that.

"Harry Potter?"

Now, James knew that was a mistake for one fairly strong reason. Harry, in a fit of childish pique after James told him to go with Moony, that he wasn't his heir, changed his name to Lily's maiden name. Harry Evans. And the paperwork at Gringotts had changed to reflect this. At the time, James was angry, had said hateful, hateful words about Harry's ingratitude. He'd told his own son that he was no longer welcome in his presence. A seven year old kid, who had lost his mother less than a year beforehand. Yeah, if there was any indication that his parenting skills needed serious work, it was that. He'd always had Lily to pick up the slack before.

Suddenly, a burst of blue flames filled the floor near the Goblet of Fire, and coalesced into a shape. After they cleared, a trunk was revealed. A wizarding trunk? James got to his feet, only for Mad-Eye to grab his arm. "Hold on, boyo," the retired Auror and current DADA teacher at Hogwarts said. "Constant Vigilance. Let someone else go first."

Dumbledore was just staring at the trunk, wondering what to do. But that fat, fatuous fool Ludo Bagman, once he got over his own surprise, said, "I say…is that an expanded trunk? Maybe that's where he is?" He waddled over in his wasp-coloured robes, and knocked on the lid. "Hello, anyone home? Hmm, maybe I should…"

Now, James could have called out a warning to Bagman, but he never liked the punch-drunk moron. Hell, virtually nobody liked him these days, save for hardcore Wimbourne Wasps fans, and there were none here with a sharp enough mind to realise that Bagman was about to do something very stupid. He touched the clasp of the trunk and made to open it.

Almost instantly, he was flung away, crashing into the wall, convulsing and juddering. A flatulent noise emanated from his robes. "Esuno's Excrement Expelling Curse(1)," Moody remarked with glee mixed with disgust. "Flings away any stupid bastard who tries to open something unauthorised, and then makes them empty their own bowels. And bladder. Bit of an obscure curse from Japan, mostly used for pranks, but Esuno was a vindictive sod."

"I think we used that curse before, actually. Remus looked it up for us. I didn't know you could enchant expanded trunks with it."

"The trunk's a Japanese one, I can tell. It probably comes as an optional extra in one of the shadier shops in Japan."

Nobody made another attempt to open the trunk, while a semi-concussed Bagman was cleaned up, reluctantly, by Dumbledore. But after a few minutes, the lid opened, and a pair of people in their late teens emerged, a boy and a girl. The girl was apparently of Asian descent, though her purple hair and eyes were a bit odd. But the boy…the same messy thatch of black hair, the same emerald eyes, watching suspiciously from behind glasses…yes, it was Harry. And judging by the glare he shot James, he hadn't let go of his grudge.

Still, he was alive. That was something, James thought.

Their posture and bearing, however, gave James pause for thought. It was vaguely militaristic. The way their eyes looked around, their postures tense and ready to spring into action…these two were soldiers, and irregulars at that.

"…Harry Potter?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry's cold eyes went over to him. "I am Harry Uryu-Evans. I am no Potter, so I was told the last time I had anything to do with Lord Potter," he said, with a tone that was downright cryogenic. "Now…what the actual hell am I doing here, and how soon can we leave?"

"…I would thank you not to take that tone with us, Potter," came the voice of Barty Crouch Senior. God, that dried-up old turd in a suit with the vaguely Hitleresque moustache was going to cause trouble.

"Excuse me?" the girl said, her own tone cold and dangerous. "You just kidnapped us, hauled us from one end of Britain to the other, and you have the balls to lecture my husband on his tone?"

"…Husband?" James couldn't help but utter.

Harry and the girl shot him a glare, but didn't do anything else. To James, anyway. Crouch, however, decided to dig his grave deeper. "Your name came out of the Goblet of Fire. You have been entered into an unbreakable contract to participate in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Therefore, you must participate, lest you forfeit your magic, and possibly your life."

And then, Bagman, who seemed to have regained some lucidity if not any sense (then again, you couldn't regain what you didn't have already, assuming the Bludgers didn't smash it out of your head), then made a really stupid pronouncement. "Really, now, you should have thought of that before you put your name into the Goblet of Fire."

Dumbledore and Moody facepalmed, as did Snape. James merely brought his forehead into contact with the table, not enough to injure himself, but enough to express his dismay at the sheer stupidity that was going on. The girl began screaming things at Bagman in a staccato language that sounded like Japanese, restrained only by Harry from going over and throttling the man. "Crouch, what is she saying?" he asked the polyglot bureaucrat.

"…Well, she's inventive, I'll give her that," Crouch said, paling. "I didn't even know that would be possible, especially on someone with Bagman's figure."

The girl then turned to Crouch, and snarled out something else. "…Threatening a Ministry official is unwise, girl," Crouch said in English. "Especially with a fruit peeler."

"Fuck off!" snarled the girl. "You kidnapped us, AND threatened my husband with losing his magic and his life. Do I look like I've got any fucks left to give about wizards and their antediluvian laws?! Remove this contract thing, or I will remove your cock and balls with a blunt knife, AND MAKE YOU CHOKE ON THEM!"

Harry, however, calmed her down, saying some words to her in Japanese. James didn't understand it, though he wondered why he said something about a 'deus ex machina', and shuddered when he heard the name Zelretch. That vampire boogeyman was involved, somehow? The girl looked irritated but resigned, until Harry whispered something to her that had her grinning a vicious grin, before she promptly snogged him. "You know just what to say to me to make me feel better, Harry," she said in English after she broke away.

He nodded, smiling, before he turned to the others. "Well, as it seems that I've been dropped in this mess thanks in part to an arsehole deity frenemy of ours, we'll go along, for now. But I will be looking for any avenue to get myself out of this. You kidnapped us both, and threatened my life and magic, despite the fact that I have been dropped into this without my consent. If anything untoward happens, there will be…consequences. Especially if you attempt to Obliviate my wife Minene, who, despite being a Muggle, is well aware of magic."

Wow. That cold, green-eyed glare…that was definitely Lily. Her anger may have boiled hot most of the time, but when it truly reached its zenith…it was cold, frozen. That was the point where smart people started running. Because whoever was the target of said rage was dead. They just didn't know it yet. And judging by the silence that fell, just about everyone here knew it. Even Bagman was shutting up.

The grin that the girl (Minene, was it?) was showing was utterly feral. Merlin, it was looking at a purple-haired Japanese Bellatrix Lestrange with more restraint. Was she some distant relation of the Blacks from Japan or something? Unbeknownst to him, he was correct, the granddaughter of a Squib cast out of the family, but he wasn't to know that.

He then blinked at the words Harry had used. Arsehole deity frenemy? What?

Harry then shrunk the trunk, put it in his pocket, and looked around. "So…where's the briefing for this clusterfuck?"

"Language!" called out what had to be the Granger girl.

"URUSAI!" Minene snapped at the Granger girl.

Crouch, deciding to choose when to fight his battles, said, "This way…"

It was a couple of hours later. Harry was pacing angrily in the bedroom of their expanded trunk (which they had brought to the guest quarters they had been escorted to), while Minene was lying in bed, reading a copy of V for Vendetta. "Hmm…do you think we should nick lines from Shakespeare like V does?" Minene asked.

"Maybe, but the only explosives-related one is 'hoist by his own petard'," Harry said(2). "So…to sum up, I have to do three Tasks these bastards have thought up for the titillation of the audience, and we're not allowed to know about what's happening for the First Task, only that I need my wand. Still, I've got one plan for whatever they pit us against for that task."

"Summoning charm for a bag of tricks?" Minene asked.

"Yeah, and turning everything in my way into dust or pink mist, depending," Harry said.

"…Just like when we decided to give those KKK idiots a good pounding. Best birthday present ever. Seriously, I'm surprised that sort of redneck shit is still around." Minene, who was dressed in little more than a singlet and panties, put the book down and looked at Harry. "…Look, I get you're angry. I'm absolutely livid myself. I want to shove C4 buttplugs up the arses of those fuckwits who organised this, leave them tied up in the foyer of the Ministry of Magic, and press the button."

"…Just like we did at Vegas? I hear they're still finding bits of that Elvis impersonator who was moonlighting as a rapist throughout his chapel."

"Yeah, but those are eyesores," Minene muttered. "Anyway, my point is…I'm still fucking livid…but I'm biding my time. We're gonna find out who exactly put your name into this Goblet of Fire thing, and we are going to end them. Over a period. And we're going to get you through this bullshit with your lovely arse intact."

"Along with the rest of me, I hope," Harry observed wryly.

"I dunno…maybe you could lose an eye? I mean, eyepatches are sexy," Minene said with a shrug.

"Eh, you'd be able to pull it off better. I'm wearing glasses already," Harry said. "Though I'd hate you to lose one of your eyes. They're one of your many, many great features…"

From where he was seated in the Cathedral of Causality, Deus smirked. "Ah, if only you knew, Harry, if only you knew…"

CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:

So…a bit from the POV of James Potter, and Harry and Minene have made a splash landing on arrival in Hogwarts. And this is the first of many, many incidents involving Bagman and the two misotheists. Because, let's face it, Bagman has the sort of attitude and face that is very…brickable, as Douglas Adams would have put it.

Also, that whole bit about eyepatches and losing eyes? Well, in the second episode of Future Diary, Minene gets a dart in the eye, courtesy of main character Yukkiteru Amano. The damaged eye is later plucked out by Yomotsu Hirakasa when he captures Minene. Let's just say that Minene is gonna be losing an eye even sooner…

1. Sakae Esuno is, of course, the creator of the Future Diary manga.

2. This comes from Hamlet. A petard was basically a primitive bomb used to try and breach castle walls and gates, and was notoriously dangerous, with those planting them possibly being 'hoist' into the air by the explosion if they weren't careful.