The semi-titular mission is finally truly underway, after a half-dozen chapters.

I'd like to give a shout out to everyone who's taken the time to review so far: RJay Fame, CowtionFish, CajunBear73, MrDrP, A Plump Hutt, anaadiffy. No shout out to the one random spammer, those are the worst.

Everyone else who's following the story, my sincere thanks as well!

Chapter 7 - Still Waters (Run Deep)

It was not remotely weird that Kim's father had been so excited about her upcoming flight – anything vaguely new or different in the aerospace world would naturally interest him. 'The A340-600 is the longest commercial aircraft yet', 'Ended up a bit overweight', 'I wonder what the four engines are going to do to operating costs, my colleague Bob's sister works at Boeing and she says the 777-300ER is looking better than the spec, the TSFC on the GE90s has to be seen to be believed and ETOPS 180 kills much of the old preference for quads'. Kim was sure that last bit meant something, but to her it was memorable only by virtue of being a complete, grammatically correct sentence that somehow meant something yet conveyed so little to those not in the know. Engineers seem to get a kick out of creating impenetrable sentences, her thoughts went. To her, the aircraft she was flying on to cross the Atlantic just felt like another airliner – a tube filled with seats, two wings, and jet engines. Its standout feature, if it could be called that, was that it had entered service a week earlier, if the captain's announcement before takeoff was to be believed – even Kim had to confess to minor disappointment upon realizing that airliners did not, as it now seemed, leave the factory with the mythical new car smell.

All that made it that much more bizarre, in her mind, that Ron was excited about the lavatories.

"You're excited… about airplane toilets?"

Her confusion did not deter Ron in the slightest. "KP, they're downstairs, how cool is that!?"

"We've flown on all sorts of airplanes, many of them far crazier than this thing. How are 'downstairs toilets' such an interesting feature to you?" Kim's question was merited – rickety old biplanes, WWII-era DC3s, supersonic bombers, literal spacecraft in space!

Ron's response was immediate: "Kim, you know ahead of time that GJ's super-secret toys are going to be full of crazy surprises. You know ahead of time that a spaceplane will take you to space and back. But this is an airliner, that a normal person can buy a ticket to fly on, and they're doing something new and crazy!"

Kim was still not convinced. "It's really not that crazy."

"Neither's the Naco, but before it could take the world by storm, one man had to be bold enough to bring the first one into existence." Ron's reasoning finally had an impact on Kim. "Now, I smell food, so I'm going to take this opportunity to go downstairs and experience new things before dinner is served!". Rufus stuck his head out of the pocket he occupied and voiced his agreement with the plan.

The 2-4-2 seating made for a comfortable experience for those who were travelling in pairs, the aisles never being more than a single seat away, a convenience that also allowed Ron to indulge his curiosity with minimal difficulty. With Kim sitting at the window, he could simply get up without dealing with a stranger blocking his route. As Ron made his way to the galley that also housed the stairs down to the cargo deck lavatories, Kim's thoughts focused on her best friend's attitude.

Ron had on occasion been described as 'full of child-like wonder'. The adults uttering those words did so with a hint of envy, as though they long ago lost something they would never get back. The significance of that was not lost on Kim, as, even to a teenager, the feeling of a lost past was very real. And yet, it feels like Ron can be a bit… childish, like he refuses to accept that he is growing up… That we're growing up.

Even in the context of a few years of extra-curricular activities involving all sorts of crazy situations – weather manipulation, switching brains with Ron, and countless absurd plots – the past couple of months had had a lot more going on than Kim was used to. For the first time, she found herself unable to say that a mission had been 'no big' – not because it had been difficult, but because of the emotional turmoil it had caused. How much of it was real?

Ron returned just as dinner was being loaded onto the trolleys, giving Kim a welcome distraction from her thoughts, restoring the veneer of normality that papered over her anxieties.

"Well, KP, that's one item off the bucket list. That was so awesome! I even forgot to tighten my belt, and my pants fell down before I made it to the stairs."

"Ron, keep it down, people are going to get the wrong idea…"

"Huh?"

Ron's confusion lasted a few moments before Kim clued him in, as quietly as feasible for an airplane environment: "Mile-High Club…"

His expression rapidly changed from confused to horrified, before he took a deep breath and continued. "Sorry, KP. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"No big, just… Don't get carried away," Kim answered. "I mean, everyone says something embarrassing once in a while, right? So not the drama," she added, with some hesitation.

About this time, dinner had arrived, and the two teens wasted little time, placating Rufus with the bread from Kim's meal and some cheese Ron had stashed away. For all of airline food's reputation, neither Kim nor Ron found much to complain about – the meal was perfectly serviceable and certainly several cuts above the slop served at Middleton High. As is typical, dinner was served early to give passengers more time to sleep, an arrangement that suited the two teens. They had had a long day and more travel awaited them the next day, several time zones ahead of theirs.

Kim awoke hours later to some gentle nudging from Ron.

"How come you woke up before I did?" She inquired.

"Rufus woke me up when he started smelling breakfast and I figured you wouldn't want to miss out either."

"Keep your expectations in check, we're not getting a stack of Mom's pancakes, Ron."

"Yeah, but that's only part of why I like breakfast at your place. The biggest reason is the company."

"Aww, that's the sweetest thi-" Kim's response was cut short as Ron continued:

"Your brothers, your parents, …" Ron was visibly holding back a grin at this point.

In response, Kim teased, "Oooh, I'm so going to make you pay for that one."

The approaching meal service provided Kim with the excuse to not immediately make good on her threat. She and Ron busied themselves with breakfast, diverting some of it as tribute for Rufus to ensure an uneventful meal. By the time the crew had picked up what was left, the flight was nearing its end. It was a different feeling to not have anything to prepare as they neared their destination – no parachutes to check, no rappel lines to untie out of storage, just sit back and wait for events to unfold.

Equally unfamiliar was the experience of waiting in line for passport control for an unbearably boring ten minutes. Needless to say, holding forged passports and driver's licenses made the whole experience the tensest border crossing Kim could remember, though Ron was strangely calm.

"Vat is the ze purpose of your visit?" The border guard asked as he examined the fake passports.

"It's our honeymoon," Ron answered.

After placing the passports in his reader, the border guard continued, "Ven is your return flight?"

"Next Sunday, but it's a flexible ticket. We might stay a few more days."

Ron's words went unanswered, but the agent picked up his phone. The glass barrier eliminated what little hope Kim had of figuring out what he was saying in German. The call seemed to go on forever and she spotted two police officers patrolling beyond the passport checkpoint. They seemed relaxed – as relaxed as one can be carrying a submachine gun, anyway. Another uniformed man joined the border agent inside the booth, a few words were exchanged and the officer manning the booth signed a sheet of paper.

Kim's worries soon dissipated as he stamped both their passports and handed them back.

"I'm sorry about ze delay, ze stamp broke. Velcome and enjoy your stay."

The pair walked on and into the rest of the terminal. As soon as they were well out of earshot of anyone in uniform, they looked at each other, expressing their relief.

Ron commented, "I'm telling you, KP, I was nervous there for a minute."

"You were nervous?" Kim replied. "I didn't even dare to open my mouth."

They still had over an hour before it was time to board their connecting flight – they needed much of this time to find their way to their gate, across the labyrinthine construction of the airport. More than once, Kim felt that they were walking around in circles, despite following the signs directing passenger flows up and down stairs, across long tunnels and through an unreal number of twists and turns. With 15 minutes until their boarding time, they finally arrived at the gate and sat down.

"I guess this is why Wade got us a nice, long connection," Kim said.

Ron nodded in agreement, "It felt like we were walking around in circles. By the time we got to the long tunnel, I was convinced something had to be wrong."

"So how come you didn't say anything?"

"You looked like you knew what you were doing, as usual, so I just trusted you."

Soon the announcement was made that boarding was imminent, so Kim and Ron got up and joined the queue that had formed. They handed over their boarding passes and passports to the woman manning the gate, who briefly inspected them, scanned the passes and handed them back.

"Enjoy your flight!"

Having found their seats, Ron took the window seat, 20F - it seemed like a fair trade after a transatlantic flight's worth of people and galley trolleys bumping into him. An hour of middle seat did not seem any worse than some of the more unique rides they had taken. And yet, from her middle seat, Kim's view of the passengers walking down the cabin of the A320 included several potential neighbors that could render even a short flight very unpleasant. Ron was not oblivious to this and offered to exchange seats.

"It's fine, it's not like I'm going to be stuck with circus folk next to me" Kim answered.

"Aww man, that ride last month really ruined the whole idea of a travelling circus for me. Who knew a clown with a horn could be so annoying? I mean, doesn't Lord Laffington ever break character?" Ron's train of thought did not elicit a response. Instead, Kim leaned over slightly in his direction.

That's a very nice offer from Ron. Surprisingly considerate, even… And yet, he honestly liked the idea of travelling with a circus? Or was it just a joke? Dad would definitely not approve of circus folk…

Kim's thoughts were interrupted as a man, perhaps in his sixties, stopped at row 20, glancing at the Passenger Service Unit. Almost immediately and with practiced ease, he stowed away a briefcase in the overhead bin.

"Bullet dodged, KP." Ron whispered. A business traveler was clearly the best seat neighbor they could hope for in a packed flight. To their surprise, the gentleman greeted them with "Good morning, dear lady," hastily adding "and sir" after determining that the pair were travelling together, before sitting down, and unfolding a newspaper. Although broadsheets were falling out of style, it was clear that the paper was as much a part of the uniform as the suit and tie. Still, the realities of narrow economy class seats necessitated awkward motions when the time came to turn the page.

Glancing over to her left, Kim said to the older gentleman: "Excuse me, I won't be needing that armrest, so if you need to unfold your paper…"

The man's answer came after a brief moment of shock – no doubt because a middle seat passenger offering up her armrest was practically unheard of.

"Oh, that's most kind of you, but I would hate to impose."

"It's no big, really," Kim replied. If we're going to sell this 'newlyweds' story over the next few days, some closeness is a good place to start.

Her neighbor took a deep breath, as the purser's voice was heard on the PA system requesting that the emergency slides be armed for flight.

"Soon The Times will cease to be a broadsheet...", he mumbled. "Tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis…"

"Times change, and we change with them?" Kim's answer once again drew a somewhat shocked expression on her neighbor's face – one that said 'what kind of kid learns Latin?' Before he could verbalize something to this effect, Kim continued: "Ron here convinced me to take Latin in high school…"

"I didn't really know what I was getting us into" Ron added with a hint of remorse.

"Ah, but the classics will, even today, open doors for you. I read classics at Oxford and I have no doubt my life would have been very different, had I not –" realizing introductions were in order, the man reached out to offer a handshake. "Pardon my manners. Sir Bernard Woolley, but please call me Bernard."

Kim shook his hand. "Pleased to meet you. I'm Kim… Uhm… Parker!"

Ron reacted to Sir Bernard's visible confusion while reaching out for the handshake: "Ron Parker. We just got married."

Nice save, Ron. How long have you been practicing that one?

"Oh, congratulations!" A certain relief was evident in Sir Bernard's face, more so as the captain started his announcement – his decades of experience clearly did not revolve around dealing with newlyweds.

Once the captain's speech concluded – in three languages, no less – and as the safety demonstration video began to play on the overhead monitors, Ron resumed the conversation:

"So… Sir Bernard? You're a knight?"

"Ah, yes, Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath."

"And… Do you like pull Excalibur from a stone to qualify?"

"Well, I believe that's the challenge to identify the heir of Uther Pendragon, that is, King Arthur. Of course, in later versions of the myth, the sword in the stone is entirely separate and does not inherently possess special qualities, other than, as the name suggests, being stuck in a stone – Excalibur is later obtained by King Arthur from the Lady of the Lake, risen from the bosom of the water…" Sir Bernard's monologue was drawing blank stares from the two teens by this point. "Uhm… That is to say, the Queen awards the members on the advice of Her Majesty's government of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. In my case, my name was put forth in recognition of my service as Cabinet Secretary and thus Head of the Home Civil Service."

Ron interrupted the silence that followed: "Dude, did you just say that you appointed yourself?"

"Heavens, no. The civil service compiles a preliminary list of suggested honorees, which the government then reviews and forwards to the sovereign."

"Uh huh. There's a diff? I've done some political work and I'm not seeing one."

"Well, yes, primarily it keeps the government busy with something to discuss. Politicians do feel a sense of accomplishment when the New Year Honours list is finalized."

To Kim, the conversation taking place felt rather surreal. I did not expect Ron to get into a discussion about the subtleties and political machinations of a foreign government. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, after the prince Wally incident… The memory of Ron's political maneuvers brought with it uncomfortable feelings. The sitch stung, not due to its real impact, but for what it represented – betrayal. It's been almost two years, he's apologized, you both moved on, why are you dwelling on this? Has he let you down when it really mattered?

"KP?"

Kim had lost track of her surroundings. Although her thoughts were conflicted, they did not impact her physical presence – she was still leaning into Ron as she realized that several minutes had passed. Their aircraft was holding short of an active runway. "I'm sorry, I zoned out, what was the question?"

"Oh, no question. I was telling your husband that it would be my pleasure to drop you off at your hotel. The embassy will have a car waiting for me and it's only a small detour."

"That would be great, please and thank you." Kim answered, "But they make you travel in economy class?"

"Ah, yes, things have indeed changed since the good old days…" the consummate civil servant mused, "Sadly, business class flights are increasingly seen as excessive and elitist, a luxury borne by the taxpayer for the benefit of politicians and us humble functionaries. The car, on the other hand, is a critical tool, as it allows us to save precious time that would otherwise be wasted queueing up at a desk or for a taxi."

"It's more expensive to do things cheaply," Ron interjected, eliciting a broad smile from his interlocutor.

"Exactly as my mentor, Sir Humphrey, used to say. Young man, your future in administration is a bright one."

The airplane was now lined up for its takeoff, which started after a few seconds, the pair of turbofan engines making most conversation unpleasant. As the sounds of the retracting landing gear and flaps filled the cabin. Kim let out a small giggle, which Ron responded to with some audible annoyance:

"What's so funny, KP?"

"I was just picturing you wearing a bowler hat…"

"'Never be normal' does have its limits, you know."

With a sudden sense of purpose, Sir Bernard added: "You cannot 'never be normal', because it would then be normal for you to be abnormal. Unless of course you set the standard to be someone else's 'normal', but then again, some people's 'normal' will align with what you presently deem to be abnormal."

While Ron dwelled on the implications of what he'd just heard, Kim shrugged, adding "In a weird way, that sort of makes sense…"

Much of the flight was uneventful, with the beverage service providing about as much mental stimulation as the odd programming shown on the motorized overhead monitors. Whatever real engagement the bizarre prank-based show could have otherwise offered was lost along with the audio track. A man walking down the street, keeping pace with a stranger, suddenly mimes walking right into an invisible wall, drawing concern from passers-by.

That's not funny at all, it's just toying with people's emotions. Ferociously unethical. The memory of the moodulator incident was again, mere hours later, on Kim's mind. Nominally, its physiological effects wore off immediately. In the real world, however, actions have consequences, and Kim's actions that day were no exception. Because things were not awkward enough with friends and family, the Middleton High rumor mill was given a lot to work with and pumped out stories on a daily basis until the ever fickle teen zeitgeist moved on to the next big thing – some kid had gone to the school nurse after a freak accident in gym class with what later turned out to be a broken arm, and ended up on the receiving end of a rant about how he should have eaten breakfast? That can't be right, everyone along the line must have distorted this story before it got to me. Despite her terrible reputation, surely she would have had enough common sense… I mean, the rumors about the moodulator incident were absolutely fantastical, Monique even mentioned something about aliens… Like that's going to happen…

Well, there we have it. The world's first, as far as I can tell, Kim Possible / Yes Minister crossover. To make things worse, the first draft of this chapter is literally the first piece of fan fiction I wrote, around June 2024. Don't worry, though, that's not what this story is about, and it'll be over soon.

In the spirit of bizarre crossovers, check out Mr. Wizard's Ronicus trilogy, starting with Ronicus ad Porta. Kim Possible meets the Second Punic War, and somehow it all works.