"Life is a pure flame and we live by the invisible sun within us." — Thomas Browne

/

"Ah," Yáng greets us once we finally reach the top. "You have made it."

My knees threaten to give way but I force myself to remain standing.

Aang doesn't say a word when he walks up next to me. We had maintained a stony silence the whole way up.

We've finally reached the highest point of the city. A shrine carved out of the stone stands elegantly before us. Roaring flames erupt from the center of the shrine. It's both beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

Yáng turns towards the flames. "If you're going to see the Masters, you must bring them a piece of the Eternal Flame."

Aang's eyes widened, but all I can think is, "Of course. When has anything ever been easy?"

"This fire is the very first one," Yáng continues, oblivious to our reactions. "It was given to our people by the dragons." He turns back to us. "We have kept it going for thousands of years."

"No way," I breathe, fascinated.

Yáng smiles at me. His smile does not give me confidence. "You will each take a piece of it to the Masters to show your commitment to the sacred art of firebending."

Aang glances nervously at me.

"You'll be fine," I whisper to him.

He only looks slightly reassured.

Yáng turns once more towards the blaze, drawing out two dancing flames. "This ritual illustrates the essence of the Sun Warrior philosophy. You must maintain a constant heat. The flame will go out if you make it too small. Make it too big, and you might lose control."

Yáng holds out the little flames for us to take.

I take a breath to erase all the doubts and the pain before taking the flame.

Aang hesitates, a look of terror beginning to take over his face.

"Aang, look at me."

He has to force himself to meet my gaze.

"You can do it."

He swallows hard before taking his flame. The look of fear is replaced by one of wonder. "It's like a little heart beat!"

That's it! My student is learning.

Yáng dips his head in acknowledgement. "Fire is life, not just destruction."

An echo of my previous lessons with Aang.

"You will take your flame up there." Yáng points to a towering mountain at least five miles away.

My heart plummets to the pit of my stomach. How the fuck am I supposed to make it all the way up there?!

"The cave of the Masters awaits you at the top."

Well, then," Aang tries to joke. "We'd better get a move on."

Yáng bows deeply to us. "The best of luck to you both."

I have a sneaking suspicion we're going to need it.

/

The sun is beginning to sink low in the sky by the time we are finally out of the city and trudging up the mountain side. I'm coated in sweat and each breath is jagged agony, but the flame holds steady. An odd sense of calm has settled over me. I can feel the life of the flame and somehow I know it's all going to be okay.

Aang's, however, has shrunk. He's stuck close by my side, probably too worried about me to be focusing on his tiny bit of the Eternal Flame.

"You're flame's going to go out Aang."

"Huh?" He even sounds distracted.

"Remember your breathing."

"I am breathing!"

I step in front of him, forcing him to stop. He has to scramble back a step so he doesn't run into me.

"You're too timid. Give it more juice."

"I can't. I'm worried about you!" Aang finally explodes, his flame roaring to life. He gapes at it in shock.

I feel a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "Now that's more like it."

Aang looks at me timidly. "What if I can't control it?"

I get the feeling he's alluding to more than just the flame.

"You can do it. I know you can. You're a talented kid after all," I throw over my shoulder as I start walking again.

I can hear Aang close behind me.

"And I'll be okay. I've survived this long. I can survive a bit longer." For you.

Aang sucks in a breath of air and I know he's focused on his breathing. He's going to be fine and so will his flame.

/

At last, we crest the top of the mountain to find two towering pillars gracing the plateau-like top. A platform has been built between the two pillars, a steep staircase leading up to the platform.

Aang's jaw drops. And not just from the view. It looks like the entire remnants of the Sun Warriors are gathered here to witness either our success or our demise.

Yáng materializes out of his people, bowing to us in greeting. "Facing the judgment of the firebending masters will be very dangerous for you." Yáng turns to me. "Your ancestors are directly responsible for the dragons' disappearance. The Masters might not be happy to see you."

That's not the only thing they won't be happy to see me for. "I understand."

Yáng nods, an approving look crossing his eyes before he turns to Aang who cringes slightly behind me. "And you vanished, allowing the Fire Nation to wreak havoc on the world."

Aang winces and I step protectively in front of him.

Yáng sighs. "The decline of the dragons is the Avatar's burden as well."

I glance back at Aang. "You don't have to do this."

He squeezes his eyes tightly shut but, after a moment to breathe, his voice is steady when he says, "I'm ready."

"Very well." Yáng pulls two more streams of fire from our flames.

I catch Zhāng's disapproving scowl as Yáng begins the ritual. The flames are passed around the circle. Half create flaming circles, the others pounding on drums and chanting. My skin crawls at the power building in the circle.

Yáng leads us to the foot of the stairs, Zhāng at his side. They part to either side to let us ascend the stairs on our own. Zhāng smirks at me. I pointedly ignore him. Where was this restraint earlier in my life?!

We reach the platform to find either end leads into gaping holes. The hairs on the back of my neck prickles. I'm beginning to have a sneaking suspicion who the Masters Ran and Shao are.

Yáng's voice reverberates through the air. "Those who wish to meet the Masters Ran and Shao will now present their fire."

Aang gives me one last desperate look. I smile encouragingly at him despite my own nerves.

Turning, we press our backs together and bow towards our respective tunnels.

A horn sounds from somewhere on the mountain, making both of us start. It's then that I realize all sound has ceased from the Sun Warriors.

The earth suddenly trembles.

"What's happening?!" Aang cries out.

"Breathe, Aang. Just breathe."

"I can't just breathe!" A moment later. "Oh, monkey feathers!"

I sigh in exasperation, nearly falling as the ground trembles violently. I turn to find Aang staring forlornly at his empty hands. He looks up at me, shrugging helplessly.

"It's okay," I say before Aang can start panicking. "Draw a bit of my flame."

"What?! I can't do that!"

"Yes you can! You need to stop doubting yourself. Believe in what you can do."

Aang growls in frustration before unclenching his fists and stares at the flame in my outstretched hands. He takes a breath before reaching out…

A violent tremor knocks me off balance. I try to right myself, but my body's been through the ringer too many times in the last few days. I feel myself falling but strong arms catch me and Aang helps right me.

But now my flame's gone too.

Shit.

We have no time to contemplate our doom. Twin roars escape the tunnels and we cling to one another as first a red then a blue dragon materializes out of the tunnels. Aang gasps but I find myself unsurprised. I had begun to suspect Ran and Shao were dragons.

The dragons spin and twirl around us. They're absolutely breathtaking. How could my people ever hunt these creatures for sport?!

"Zuko!" Aang's voice barely breaks through my mental haze. "I think we're supposed to do the Wŭ Lóng with them."

"What?" I snap myself out of my funk. I need to concentrate! "What about this situation do you think they want us to dance?"

I can feel Aang shrug against my back. "I think they want us to do something. Let's just try it."

"Fine." It's not like I have any better ideas.

As we perform the moves of the Wǔ Lóng form, Ran and Shao match us movement for movement. It's exhilarating and terrifying. But mostly it's just an honor to be in the presence of these fantastic creatures.

When we reach the end of the form, Aang and I return to being back to back, Ran and Shao stare us down. I can feel Aang trembling but I've already accepted whatever the dragons decide.

And then we're surrounded by fire. I instinctively cover Aang with my body, but there's no need. Ran and Shao have created a column of flames with us in the middle. I stare in amazement at the purples and greens and reds and blues and yellows that mesh with the typical orange fire. It's beautiful.

And I understand.

As soon as the flames disappear Ran and Shao are gone, leaving Aang and I alone once more.

At some point, Aang's hand has found mine. We walk back down the stairs together in silence. I know Aang's still processing but my mind is reeling.

"That fire was so beautiful," Aang breaks the silence as we near the bottom, Yáng and Zhāng are waiting for us. "There were so many colors. Colors I've never imagined!"

"Harmony," I breathe.

"Yes. Harmony's a good word for it."

And to think all we are taught is destruction. It's wrong! So utterly wrong!

"Ran and Shao have judged you," Yáng greets us. "And gave you visions of the meaning of firebending."

Aang nods.

I do have one burning question. "I can't believe there are still living dragons. My Uncle Iroh said he faced the last dragon and killed it."

"So your uncle lied?" Aang asks.

"Actually," Yáng interrupts. "It wasn't a total lie. Iroh was the last outsider to face the Masters. They deemed him worthy and passed the secret on to him as well."

It feels like the earth has tilted on its axis. No wonder the Wǔ Lóng form felt so familiar! All those lessons with Uncle, those annoying proverbs. He was trying to teach me the original way to firebend! And I never listened. I regret that more than ever now.

"You okay?" Aang mouths at me.

I don't answer him. "Uncle must have lied to protect them, so no one else would hunt them."

Yáng nods. "Indeed he did." He turns to Aang. "What have you learned young Avatar?"

Aang looks like he's getting whiplash from the rapidly shifting change in subjects, but he responds readily, "Now I understand what firebending really is." With a flick of his wrist, Aang produces a ball of flames in the palm of his hand. "It's energy. And life."

I smile at the flames in Aang's hand. He's found his drive.

"It's like the sun," Aang continues, letting the flames die. "But inside you."

Yáng smiles. "Very good. And you Prince Zuko?" He turns to me.

I stare down at my hands. The hands that have caused so much harm and destruction. "I lost sight of my inner fire." I turn and perform the zuoyou lōuxī àobù. A burst of flames singes Zhāng's hair. I smile sweetly at him as he growls at me. "My new drive is to help Aang defeat my father and restore balance to the world." And to protect Aang and the others. Perhaps even try to protect my people from my father.

"You did it!" Ang throws his arms around me in a hug before remembering my broken ribs. "Sorry." He rubs a hand nervously over the back of his neck.

I bump him goodnaturedly in the shoulder. "Come on. We should get back. We have training to get to bright and early tomorrow morning."

Aang grimaces. "Yeah me."

I can't help but laugh.

"One more thing," Yáng halts us before we can leave.

"We know," I interject. "The Sun Warriors are long gone."

"Your secret's safe with us!" Aang adds cherrily.

Yáng just shakes his head. "The best of luck to you both. I have a feeling you're going to need it."

/

The entire ride back to the Western Air Temple is spent in silence, both of us still digesting all that we just learned. But, as we get closer and closer, my stomach twists into painful knots. I'm terrified of how the others will react when we finally show up well after dark.

The courtyard is well lit when Appa finally touches down. Everyone's here. Katara, Sokka, Toph, Haru, Teo, and the Duke. The latter three are half asleep, propped up against what remains of the fountain. But they immediately pop up when they spot us. Katara is pacing back and forth while Sokka sharpens his boomerang. Toph is the only one who looks calm, sitting cross-legged on a piece of broken pillar.

Katara immediately races over when Aang glides to the ground, an apology on his lips quickly cut off by Katara pulling him into a fierce and unyielding hug.

I slide down, landing painfully on my feet. I even manage not to fall over. Barely. I'm exhausted. All I want to do is sleep. I don't want to intrude on Aang's warm welcome either.

Sokka, Haru, and Teo have joined the hug now as I start to slink away. Maybe I just really don't have the energy to face Katara's fury right now.

But I'm suddenly halted in my tracks by a slight form attacking me. I tense before I realize it's just the Duke giving me a fierce hug. I'm too confused to do anything but hug him back.

"Glad you're back," he whispers.

"Me too," I whisper back.

He doesn't let me go even as Katara exclaims, "Thank the Spirits you're okay!" She finally lets Aang go.

Sokka fixes Aang with a stern look. "A note? Really Aang?"

"We were really worried about you," Haru admonishes gently.

Aang winces. "Sorry, but it was the only way to get to the Sun Warrior ruins without you stopping us. Plus." He smiles at me.

Oh, shit. Busted!

"Zuko had my back."

Katara's face turns murderous. She spins on me and starts marching towards me. I extricate myself from the Duke and force myself to turn and face her. I can't prove myself if I just keep running away.

But Toph and the Duke step in front of Katara, blocking her way. I second later Teo's in between us too.

"Can we not tonight?" Toph complains. "It's late and everyone's tired."

Despite myself, relief rushes through me.

"Toph's right, Katara." Sokka rests a hand on his sister's shoulder. "Aang is back. Hopefully he got what he was looking for?"

Sokka looks at Aang who nods hurriedly. He shoots me an apologetic look. Yeah. He probably hadn't thought Katara would react quite this way. I can't help but love that he sees the good in everything. All I've been taught is to look for the bad.

Katara grinds her teeth together, looking like she's gearing up to argue, but Haru places a hand on her free shoulder. "Give it a rest," he says gently.

"Fine," she grinds out, shooting glares at everyone involved in defending me in this moment. "Toph, take him back to his room."

Toph stiffens and Aang look horrified at the implication in Katara's worlds.

I'm unfazed, unsurprised. I deserve her distrust and to be locked up after what I've done to them.

I tug on Toph's arm and turn towards my room as Aang yells, "Zuko saved my life Katara! He's trying to prove himself to us. He's earned the right to a second chance!"

But I haven't.

"He's playing you!" comes Katara's snarl.

"He's changed!"

"Has he?" Haru shoots back.

Sokka groans, shaking his head before jogging to catch up with us. I raise an eyebrow at him. He flushes red before saying, "Thank you. For making sure Aang made it back safely."

His words are so shocking I come to a halt to stare at him. I ignore Toph's snort of amusement.

Sokka shuffles his feet self-consciously. "It means a lot, you coming back with Aang when you could have abandoned him or…"

"Tried to kidnap him again."

He rubs the back of his head nervously. "Yeah, that. But you had the chance. And you didn't." He holds out a hand to me. "Maybe you aren't so bad?"

"Here, here!" cheers Teo who had been rolling behind us apparently this entire time.

The Duke squeezes my hand and smiles up at me. I smile back still wondering how I've earned the youngster's trust.

When I look back up, I stare at the peace offering in the form of an outstretched hand before Toph's annoyed clearing of her throat snaps me out of my daze. I take Sokka's hand. We shake once before quickly letting go, still unsure of how to act around one another.

Sokka looks forlornly at Aang, Katara, and Haru still arguing. "I should probably go stop those three before they argue away the rest of the night. Good night Zuko," he adds awkwardly.

"Good night, Sokka."

"We should probably help with that too." Teo gestures for the Duke to follow him back towards the others.

"Let's go!" Toph shoos me irritatedly towards my room once Sokka, Teo, and the Duke are gone. "I'd like to get at least some sleep!"

I shake my head, suppressing a smile. "I missed you too."

That earns me a grin before the wall is back in place...with a slight addition. In the wall, at the awkward height of my chest is a small window about the size of my hand. Of course Toph, who is blind, would put a viewing window for me at the most inconvenient of heights and barely big enough for me to see out of. (Or she did it on purpose because...Toph.)

I survey the small room and the window with a smile. Even though Toph is probably just gleefully putting the window in the wall to piss of Katara, I'm still grateful. This tiny room of a cell no longer feels so claustrophobic and I have Toph to thank for that. Gratitude fills me and an odd sense of peace warms me from the inside out, something I haven't felt since before my mother disappeared. Perhaps...just perhaps I'm actually starting to find my way, to find somewhere I belong, to find a family who might accept me for me, faults and all. For the first time I can say without being sarcastic: Home sweet home.

I flop onto the bed and am asleep in an instant.

Author's Note

The scene in the 'Firebending Masters' where Zuko is fighting to keep Aang from retrieving another piece of the Eternal Flame always annoyed me. I feel like he should have learned a bit more humility by that point, so I found another way to write that scene that feels more right, especially for the Zuko of this story.

The window idea is thanks to Brin Donovan who commented about wishing there was a little window in the wall. While I wasn't able to adapt their idea entirely (and it appears much later than even I originally planned) into this story with where I wanted it to go, thank you Brin Donovan for the amazing idea.