"Anger is always more harmful than the insult that caused it." —Chinese Proverb

/

"So." The chipper voice of Aang and a sudden burst of light when the wall is removed jerks me out of the doze I had fallen into at some point last night. "What are we learning today?"

Aang comes bearing another plate of food. My stomach rumbles, reminding me I've hardly eaten since leaving Imperial City.

I sit up with a grunt of pain but manage to smile at Aang, accepting the tray of food.

Aang shoots me a concerned look but manages to bite his tongue against the "Are you alight?' he's dying to ask.

I give him a sly grin. "We might need to ask for a chaperone. We're going to need to be outside for today's lesson."

Aang's eyes widen in both confusion and excitement.

Good. Some of his fear is already beginning to dissipate.

/

Half an hour later and after much debate between Aang and his friends, Aang and I are sitting cross-legged once more in the courtyard. I breathe in a sigh of relief, basking in the sun as its rays hit my face. Toph is perched on a broken pillar, idly tossing a chunk of boulder in the air. She's my chaperone for the day.

After a few minutes of centering ourselves on our breathing, I guide Aang through today's lesson, "Feel the heat of the sun. It is the greatest source of fire, yet it is in complete balance with nature."

Aang pops open an eye. "Jeong Jeong said the same thing. I don't understand what I'm supposed to do."

Toph has stopped tossing her chunk of boulder. She leans forward, suddenly interested.

"When you were learning airbending, what was the meditation for?"

"Well…" Aang has to think for a moment. "It's meant to help my spirit learn to wander, like the air and wind."

"So you're getting to know the element of air?"

A wide grin breaks out over Aang's face. "Oh, I get it now! You want me to concentrate on the sun, to feel its heat and understand fire better!"

I can't help the smile that twitches at the corners of my mouth. "Get to it then."

And we settle, once more, into an all day mediation session. I find myself breathing almost a sigh of content. It feels amazingly good to just let go and feel the sun once more.

/

Toph is snoozing by the time the sun is setting and I'm shaking Aang out of his meditative state.

"So," I ask as he blinks back to the present. "What have you learned?"

Aang contemplates for so long I fear I've already failed him as a teacher. I have to bite my tongue to keep from pressuring him. I don't want him to learn under the same high stakes and pressure I had to learn firebending under back home. That only taught me how to rely on my anger. No. Aang deserves to learn the way Uncle taught me. With patience and love.

"I always thought," Aang starts slowly, "that firebending was about power and dominance. Destruction."

I wince. "My great grandfather warped firebending into what it is today, relying heavily on anger and hatred."

Aang reaches out a hand and unwraps the firsts I unconsciously made. "But that's not what firebending is really about."

I shake my head, tears in my eyes. All those times Uncle tried to tell me the same thing. And I never listened! If I had, maybe I could have let go of my anger a lot sooner. I would have made a different decision in Ba Sing Se.

Aang looks up at the sun and smiles. "Firebending is like the sun. There would be no life without the sun."

I can't help a smirk. "Has anyone told you you're a little too smart for your age?"

"I am over a hundred years old."

I surprised us both with a burst of laughter. I groan, clutching my side. Ow. Laughing hurts. Duly noted.

Aang reaches out to me, worry in his eyes, but hesitates. I've rejected his help so many times in the past. He wouldn't expect any different this time.

"Thank you," I say sincerely. "But I'll be fine."

Aang doesn't look convinced but he lets the matter of my broken ribs drop. For now at least.

It's his turn to turn serious. "I should be thanking you."

"What for?" I ask, genuinely confused.

He looks up at the sun again. "For showing me that firebending doesn't have to be what everyone feats it is." He looks at his hands. "That there is another way besides pain and destruction."

I smile. "How do you feel about a tiny bit of firebending tomorrow?"

Fear shadows Aang's face. "You really think I'm ready?"

I bite my lip as I get to my feet. My vision swims but I manage not to stumble this time. I place a hand on his shoulder and he looks up at me, the most open expression I've ever seen from him on his face.

"You're a talented kid, Aang. I believe in you."

If only someone had said that to me when I was younger.

Aang gives me a watery smile, but whatever he's about to say is shattered by Katara's shout, "Toph!"

"Huh." Toph jerks upright, looking only half awake. "What?"

"You fell asleep!" Katara seethes.

Aang tries to hide a chuckle, bounding over to Katara as Toph leaps down from the pillar. I hang back, knowing I won't be welcome.

"They were just sitting there all day!" Toph complains. "I was bored."

"What if something had happened!"

"Nothing did!"

"Katara!" Aang interrupts, stepping between Toph and Katara. "Look. Still here. Unharmed and uncaptured."

Katara ignores Aang completely, fuming at Toph "You're fired from Zuko watch duty."

"Fine," Toph huffs. "But, for the record, I think he's telling the truth about having changed."

An unfamiliar warmth blooms in my chest at Toph's words as she stomps away. Perhaps there is truly some hope for me left. I can do this. I can win their trust.

But then Katara spins on me and my hope withers like a dying flame. "I guess I'll just have to be on Zuko watch duty from here on out."

"Katara!" Aang groans.

"No arguing!" Katara snaps back.

Aang clamps his mouth shut, hurt clouding his eyes.

A little bit of that old anger sparks. "Hey!" I march up to Katara until we're practically nose to nose. "You're beef is with me, not Aang. Don't take your anger out on him, take it out on me."

Aang' s eyes are practically bugging out of his head in shock.

Katara's eyes narrow dangerously. "Okay then."

I don't even see the hit coming. One moment I'm standing, the next I'm drenched in water and lying in a crumpled heap. My lunges feel like they're on fire, each breath a searing pain.

"Katara!"

There are more shouts but Katara doesn't seem to hear any of it. She marches towards me, murder in her eyes.

I try to stand, but coughs rack my body and I slump back down. I clutch my side, my ribs screaming in agony.

"What?" Katara taunts. "No fire?"

"No," I gasp out, looking straight up into the pain in her eyes. The pain that me and my family have caused. "I'm not going to fight you."

"Why not!" Katara screams, grabbing a fist full of my tunic and yanking me up. "That's all you firebenders know. Fighting, pain, and destruction!"

It's hard to keep calm under the intensity of her fury, but I manage to look her in the eye when I say, "Not all of us. Not anymore."

I honestly don't know what Katara would have done, but Sokka and Teo are suddenly there. Teo pushes himself between us while Sokka holds Katara by the shoulders, forcing her to let go of my tunic. Without her holding me up, my legs start to buckle. I'm shocked when strong arms catch me, holding me up. I look down to find Aang, Toph, and the Duke supporting me, holding me up. I'm so surprised, my brain goes blank. Aang, Toph, Sokka, Teo, and the Duke defending me, me, of all people. What have I done to earn this honor?

"Katara stop!" Sokka's struggling to keep her from flying at me.

And then Haru is suddenly here too. He places a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to look at him. "This isn't you," he says quietly.

I'm not sure what shocks me more. Teo, the Duke, and Sokka coming to my rescue or Haru. I don't know much about Haru besides his father was taken from him when he was young because he was an earthbender. I saw the reports of when Katara helped inspire a riot on the prison rig when Haru was also discovered by Fire Nation soldiers to be an earthbender. All he's ever known from the Fire Nation is fear and death. They all have. Which makes their stepping in between Katara and me even more shocking.

Katara fights both Haru and Sokka at first, but then gives in, yanking herself away. With a final jab at me, she spits out, "He doesn't deserve a second chance, our trust. Not after everything he's done!" She stalks away without a backward glance.

Sokka's shoulders droop in defeat, his head bowed. I can tell he's trying to hold back tears. "You should get Zuko back to his room."

"But—" Aang starts.

Sokka spins on him, his glare quickly shutting Aang up. "I don't trust Zuko either, but that doesn't mean we should give in to our anger."

Haru nods even though it looks like the acknowledgement pains him. "That'd make us no better than the Fire Nation." An echo of Teo's words from a couple days ago.

Teo beams at Haru with pride. I catch Haru blush before he ducks his head.

Sokka gives me a hard, long scrutinizing look. "I don't think I've ever seen you back down from a fight."

Even shrugging sends agony of pain. Damn! "She has every right to be angry. I deserve it. If I chose to fight then I haven't changed at all."

Sokka gives me a look like I've grown two heads. "This is just too weird." He's still muttering as he walks away. "Zuko having a philosophical side. Who would have guessed."

"Come on." Teo takes Haru's hand and starts tugging him away. "Let's go blow off some steam with more exploring. Coming the Duke?" he shoots over his shoulder.

The Duke glances at me, gives me a hesitant smile, and then bounds after the other two. Spirits, that kid confuses me. I guess I can say that about all of them, except for Katara of course.

"Thank you," I tell Toph and Aang. "But I can stand on my own now."

Toph is quick to let me go and step away, but Aang is more hesitant.

I look him straight in the eyes. "I promise," I lie. "I'm fine." In truth, between the lack of food and my injuries from Ránshāo, I'm barely managing to keep conscious. But Aang, sweet and caring Aang, doesn't need to know that. I don't deserve the gift of his worry and concern.

He doesn't look convinced but steps away anyway.

"I have to say," Toph says as we head back towards my room. "That was pretty big of you, letting Katara knock you down like that."

"It's the least I could do." And I owe her that much and so much more.

Toph gives me a sharp look. "You are not what I was expecting at all."

"I could say the same about you."

That makes Toph grin. "I hate to say it but I'm starting to like you."

I smile despite myself. "Me too."

Aang is quiet until we reach my room.

I give him a reassuring shove with a shoulder. "You'll be fine tomorrow."

"No, that's not what I—" He looks down at his bare feet. "Do we have to lock him in Toph?"

Toph looks torn, indecision in her clenched fists.

"Hey," I lift Aang's chin so he'll look at me. "It's okay."

Aang bites his lower lip, looking like he's fighting back tears. "No it's not."

I shove him gently out of my room, nodding to Toph. She doesn't look pleased as the wall slides into place.

/

I'm almost asleep when the creaking of the wall sliding down startles me into a sitting position.

"Sorry." Aang pokes his head in. "I thought you might like dinner."

My stomach growling is the only response Aang needs. He produces a tray of food and places it next to my bed. He doesn't move, shuffling his feet nervously.

"Yes Aang," I say, picking up the tray.

"I'm sorry about Katara," he suddenly blurts out. "You don't deserve to be treated the way she's treating you."

"Yes I do."

Aang blinks at me.

I sigh, setting the tray to the side. "She's right. I've always struggled with making the right choice. I don't blame her for thinking this time would be any different."

Aang frowns, pacing back and forth a few times. "You're being too hard on yourself," he finally says.

"What?"

He looks right at me before saying, "You've gone against your family and everything you've ever known. I can't even imagine what that's like. You deserve some credit and some belief that you'll do the right thing in the end." Aang leaves me with that, grimacing as he raises the wall back into place.

I stare after him for a long time, mulling over his words.

"You're wrong," I whisper.

I should have fought back against my father from the very beginning instead of giving into the fear, desperation, and anger after the Agnikai. I gave into the darkest parts of myself. I deserve no forgiveness for that.

Author's Note

Feel free to interpret Haru and Teo's relationship how you like. Purposely leaving it up the imagination of the reader ;).