Chronological markers: this scene fits in as a deleted scene from The Umbrella Academy, season 3, episode 8, around 44:22 (during the "deal" between Reginald and Allison, witnessed by a drunk Five).

Suggested soundtrack: Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams (are made of this).

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April 07 2019, 11:03 pm

How Could I Have Been So Blind?

As I teleport once more into the 'Taishō Era' version of the White Buffalo Suite, my heart pounds furiously, not because I'm leaving behind the razor-sharp threats of the Oblivion Guardians, who patiently await the arrival of my unfortunate companions. No, I have been blind. Blind to Allison's immense suffering. Without even considering for a moment that it had been orchestrated and fueled by Hargreeves.

Without any awareness that she was the crucial and ultimate piece in setting his plans in motion.

*Crack!*

It's pointless, I'm probably only gaining one or two seconds by doing this, but I teleport past the equivalent of our pachinko, directly into the Great Mystery tunnel, its streaks of light immediately forcing me to squint.

Luther, Sloane, Diego… several among us embody the fundamental laws of forces, gravity, and trajectories. Matter and energy too, deeply intertwined with space and time, like Viktor, Five, or myself.

I understood that Ben was connected to creatures from other planes, and now that I have observed the software of the Oblivion machine, I suspect those Eldritch beings are involved in the necessary cleansing of the excess timelines we may have created.

Klaus… My belief is that - wherever he is - he ensures that souls exist in the beyond or elsewhere and that they can be reinstated.

Lila could replace any of us, perhaps even multiple at once.

But Allison… Allison is the one capable of directing these parameters. Of defining the reality that awaits us after the reset, after Oblivion is activated. She is the cornerstone of the world rewrite that Hargreeves desires: the one he most needed to cultivate with a spoiled-child mentality.

"Shit."

In the starlit glow, as time distorts once more around me, I resent myself more than ever.

I know better than anyone that the way Hargreeves treated us in our childhood was no accident. Even for me, who seemingly was left in the care of my mother and grandmother. He shaped the adults we became, often through pain. And he patiently ensured that Allison grew accustomed to having her desires fulfilled, and the world revolving around her.

She has always gotten what she wanted. She has always sought his approval as well. He allowed her to use the Rumors to shape reality around her, conditioning her to face no resistance: so much that she eventually committed the unspeakable against those she loved. Including manipulating her own daughter, simply because she couldn't stop herself.

She tried to fight against it, against him. By ceasing to use her power, by attempting to rebuild her life with Ray. And of course, the mere unfolding of Hargreeves's plans took that away from her. Confronted her with the truh that she would never see Claire again. And awakened, in the most brutal and dramatic way, her desire to once again control what is, to reshape reality.

Never has the fable of The Scorpion and the Frog resonated so strongly in my mind, even if Klaus would get lost again in trying to retell it. Hargreeves has brought back Allison's true nature, fervently. And now, he will use her. Because, unfortunately, yes. Yes, the universe is indeed about to revolve around her, today.

Behind the pachinko door, I freeze for a second, trembling. I'm afraid of what I'll find beyond. What if there's nothing left? What if the time distortion has already been so extreme that the Kugelblitz has consumed everything? I clench my fists. I know I could have been gone for an hour or a year. But what do I have to lose? Absolutely nothing. Just in case, I make myself intangible, invisible, as if that could save me if a mass of black holes is waiting behind this door.

And I step through it, just one step. Instantly replacing the low hum of the tunnel with the apocalyptic atmosphere I have come to know so well in these past days. A terrible rumble, but ultimately, a sign that the Hotel still exists.

"Time is running out now, before nothing remains. The Apocalypse is upon us."

I recognize this voice and accent immediately, even before looking up to the figure standing in the middle of the White Buffalo Suite, between the shaggy carpets that have already witnessed far too much drama. Reginald Hargreeves, in the human guise I know so well.

"If you agree, the child you call Claire will be there. In every way identical to her last occurrence in the reality where you last saw her, I assure you. Just like that literature professor in a blazer you spoke to me about."
"Raymond is dead, in this timeline."
"Whether these people are dead or not makes no difference. Their imprint persists, in the Void. They will be there if you wish them to be there."

Seated on one of the sofas, troubled and surrounded by more darkness than ever, Allison sits, her hands pressed over her lips, as if trying to keep herself from speaking, or even breathing. She's still wearing the gala dress from earlier at the wedding, and I can tell it's just later that same night. She lifts her feline eyes toward Hargreeves, wary yet full of quiet hope.

"What guarantee do I have of that? I'm just supposed to take your word for it?"

Dignified in his suit, his mustache impeccably groomed, his monocle firmly set over his eye, Hargreeves gazes down at her. Meanwhile, I slip unseen along the wall, positioning myself for a better view.

"That depends even more on you than on me. In the version of me you knew, have I ever lied to you? As Number Three?"

The fact is, he hasn't. Allison is among the children Hargreeves has most favored. The ones he granted the most privileges, even if he occasionally tightened the leash on matters he deemed unacceptable. He let Allison rise to fame on the red carpets, he let her build her dream life of silk and success. And even if she never held him in her heart, she now has to acknowledge this truth. She says nothing, but her silence is heavy with meaning.

Then, suddenly, Hargreeves's eye shifts to me through his monocle, and I know he's aware that I am here. That artefact has always allowed him to see the world as it truly is, even my invisibility. He knows I'm spying. And yet, he continues.

"You will also be able to grant your siblings the peace they deserve. No doubt you heard my speech at that absurd wedding celebration dinner."

Allison rolls her eyes, and I wonder if Hargreeves isn't partly addressing me now as well, because he knows very well that this is the moment when I slipped away.

"I did not lie when I said I was proud to call you my children, in any timeline. And I lied even less when I said I hoped all this would be only a rough patch on an otherwise verdant lawn. You hold in your hands the power to give your siblings ordinary lives, freed from the burdens of these powers that have always weighed on you."

Allison furrows her brow. So do I.

Even though she has spiraled into dangerous territory this past week, I know she's not completely indifferent to the suffering her siblings have endured. Unfortunately, I also know that her kindness - toward Klaus, for example - has often served as a means to boost her self-image or to make herself feel useful and indispensable. At least, Klaus has sometimes felt that way. But I have also seen Allison in the 1960s, even with Klaus: I am convinced there is goodness in her, beneath all the inclinations cultivated by their father.

"Are you saying we could all live peaceful lives, without our powers?"

Hargreeves smiles, his little mustache stretching in a way that never bodes well. He knows I'm listening. He is trying to convince me, too. And I remain motionless, more wary than ever. I know he is playing his final manipulations, his last half-truths, because outright lies have never been his way.

"Absolutely. This is what I have always wished for you all at the end of the road. All of this will have been nothing more than a blink of an eye in the story of your lives, and even more so in the history of the universe. We can move toward a better world, where each of us will have the place we rightfully deserve. A better world for you, with those you love. Permanently shielded from any future Apocalypse."

His arguments are terrifyingly persuasive. They would resonate with the heart of anyone, especially those who have suffered so much because of what they are, those around whom chaos has relentlessly revolved in recent years.

"I am not your enemy", he whispers.

Even I crave a moment of peace, I no longer hide it. To be far from Apocalypses, even if, unlike Klaus, I don't want a border collie. That desire is my own motivation to activate Oblivion. But not with him - enemy or not - because I know what he…

"Everything I have done, I have done out of love."

I nearly choke on those words. Coming from his mouth, this sounds as if he is speaking a language he does not know. If I had been tangible, I might have suffocated on my own coughs. And Allison looks up, just as stunned as I am.

"Out of love?"

Hargreeves looks at her, still standing before her, but his attention is also on me.

"You are not the only ones who have lost loved ones through these upheavals. Just like you… I wish to find the one I lost."

Allison remains silent for a moment. In over thirty years of existence, she has never heard her father speak of anyone he was attached to, aside from Grace, whose fate has been peculiar in every timeline.

"You… You're not talking about Mom, are you…", she says, her voice carrying a numbness, a dangerous detachment from immediate reality. Yes, I can already feel it: Allison already is living in the new reality Hargreeves is promising her. He wouldn't even need to continue. He has already convinced her.

"No. I speak of my wife. The one who - before dying of illness at the twilight of our world - gave me the means to find her again, and to restore order to this broken universe."

A long shiver runs through me. Hargreeves has already tried to manipulate me by waving in front of me his supposed desire to restore the fertile lands of Makȟá Zuȟéča, to Iggy and his people. I didn't believe him. I understood that he had other motives, beyond that, and that he was willing to exploit the extinction of his own species to achieve them. But did I ever consider that behind it all was his hope of bringing back his deceased wife?

My hand reaches for the Sigil on my arm. In the energy surrounding Hargreeves, I detect no deception, no illusion. As much as I hate to admit it, I believe he is absolutely and entirely sincere when he says his ambition is to find her again. But did he just say that she gave him the means to restore order to this broken universe?

In my mind echoes a name, spoken by Iggy when he told me about the fall of Makȟá Zuȟéča. When he described how his people fought until the very last day. When he spoke of one among them, who tried to restore their planet to its original state, by studying the most fundamental components of the universe. I hadn't paid much attention to it at the time. But now, I can piece it together: this woman, for whom the Wayfarer just used the word 'love', is none other than the one Iggy called…

"Her name was Abigail."

'The Cosmologist'. The one who studied the great machinery of the universe, in the hope of reconfiguring its parameters to save her planet and her people. The one who set Hargreeves - the Wayfarer who complemented her so well - on the path to the Door to Oblivion… To Earth, with his crew. And now, he is about to complete her work… for the sole purpose of bringing her back, even more than restoring his planet?

"Her notes allowed me to study the machine that can restore our lives: the one called Oblivion. I know how to make it function optimally:better than anyone else."

He looks directly at me through his monocle as he says this, and I feel insulted. I am certain that is not true. He may have studied it extensively, but I have an intuitive connection to this machine: through matter, energy, and space-time. I felt it again when I approached it just moments ago. He thinks he is indispensable? No, I do not believe that. But he says:

"I ask for very little in return."

So here we are. The moment where, after pulling at the heartstrings and promising the moon, he is about to state his terms. Before crossing my arms, I allow myself a small, impolite gesture. And I sincerely hope he sees it, with his fucking monocle.

"What do you want?"

Allison's voice is monotone, exhausted, yet filled with a latent determination and hope, final proof that her decision to accept has already been made.

"I simply ask that you bring her back to me, just as you will bring back Claire and Ray. In the state where she is preserved, on the hidden side of the Moon, where it has not always been easy to protect her. Even from you."

I understand. I finally understand Hargreeves's obsession with the Moon in our version of 2019, and why the destruction of Earth's natural satellite - caused by Viktor in the first Apocalypse - was such a catastrophe for him. I also understand why he stationed Luther up there for so long. For years, Luther believed it was for nothing. That he had been cast aside. That was false. In reality, he had been protecting what his father held most dear. Everything is clicking into place, far too fast for me to process, but Hargreeves isn't done yet.

"And as a gracious gesture of gratitude for having led you all here alive, I request the completion of Project HE, whose documents were lost in the regrettable failure of the City Hall mission in 2006."

Hargreeves had hinted at it last night, that he still harbored those ambitions. But then, in this reality as well, his megalomaniacal project was compromised? Luther once described it to me: a metropolis of skyscrapers, the heart of a financial and scientific empire he intended to build. Years of obsessive planning, but also many enemies. And now, he wants it handed to him on a silver platter, as part of the reconfiguration of reality? And Allison obviously remembers his obsessively drawn plans too.

"You want your empire. Your Abigail. And after that, you'll leave us in peace? Never ask for anything from us again?"
"I swear it, on the honor that is mine. Hesitating even one more day would doom us all to nothingness. Do not risk letting this invaluable opportunity slip away. For all of us."

A long, very long silence settles over the White Buffalo Suite, and it weighs a ton on my heart. I can clearly see that, to Allison, this compromise seems acceptable. That she envisions herself in this new reality, with Claire, with Ray, free from the Rumors as she has always wished.

That she imagines Viktor freed from the constant hum of sound waves grating against the matter around him, always on the verge of nuclear fission and energy surges. That she pictures her siblings liberated from everything that has consumed their lives, the burdens and responsibilities that have always come with their powers. That she sees Luther freed from the body he has suffered in, Diego released from his superhero complex, Five from the Apocalypses… and Klaus from the ghosts.

"How does it work?", she asks darkly, and Hargreeves takes a step toward her.
"You simply need to be close to the machine. To be one of the seven bells that will make it ring. Your mental representations are the key."
I shudder as I hear him say this.
"You are the voice and the words that shape reality", he murmurs. "All you have to do is desire this reality, similar yet different."

It's terrifying, but I can feel it: Allison already carries within her the framework of this new world, the one that could emerge from Oblivion. And Hargreeves is cunning, diabolically so. He flatters her. He makes her feel important.

More than that: he does not give her time to truly think about what she wants for this new world, beyond what is obvious. She should have had a lifetime to prepare for this. To make sure this new reality is fair for everyone, and a better world, really. But she is being caught off guard. Forced to decide at the worst moment of her life, trembling with anger and grief. She is rushing. Going for the bare minimum, reproducing the world as it was, inserting only what she longs for most, and giving Hargreeves what he wants. A basic package born from her desperation… but one that perfectly serves her father's plans.

She remains silent, shaking, while outside, the rumbling of the Kugelblitz reminds us that every second draws us closer to the great final doom, the one that only the machine can stop. Hargreeves takes another step forward. He is getting impatient. And she stands up, facing him, locking eyes with him.

"With everything we've discussed, it'd be folly to wait. There is no time. I can't do this without you."

His words are full of flattery, but, unfortunately, also of truth. But there is more. He also briefly - but distinctly - lifts his gaze toward me.

"Do we have a deal?"

He extends his hand toward her. A second passes, in which my breath seems suspended in this 'deal'. And she takes it, sealing - without a word - the fate of the universe.

With one condition.

I have seen the heart of the Oblivion machine. I have understood that it needs plug-ins. I have seen the Guardians, waiting to test them, to verify their validity. If Allison is alone, she can do nothing. She will have to convince the others, involve them one way or another in Oblivion, and I don't see how that can happen unless it is done deliberately. Unless…

"Will you use the Rumors to convince your siblings of the necessity of this final mission? I have heard that you no longer even need them."

I frown, painfully. With every piece that Hargreeves moves, I feel even more overwhelmed by the strength of his plan. Right now, he is completing the work started by another version of himself, from another timeline: the one that our Hargreeves began sketching out the very day he adopted Allison.

Luther once told me he believed their father knew what their powers would be before adopting them. I now think his monocle allows him to see far more than it seems. He knew where to find us. He carefully chose who to adopt, and who not to adopt. In the first batch. In the second batch. Who knows how many more he would have selected, if only they had survived their own powers in their early years. He did not pick his first set of children at random. The Umbrellas contain the essential plug-ins needed to run Oblivion, and the Sparrows serve as a guarantee to eliminate the Guardians once their role is complete.

Allison is a valuable pawn, but now she looks at him with a rebellious superiority, fully aware that he spoke the truth when he said he could not do this without her. He needs her. She has the upper hand, the power to set her own terms. And with a newfound defiance in protecting her siblings, a resolve I wish she had shown more often this past week, she responds:

"There is no fucking way. If you want them, you'll have to convince them another way."

I have to talk to them before he does. I should have already done it. We need to prepare, to activate the machine on our own, and leave him behind. But he is getting irritated:

"Such negotiations will cost us precious time."

In the energy, I feel that Allison didn't lie: she will never use the Rumors on a single one of her siblings again. Never. Her will is inflexible on this matter, radiating around her. And Hargreeves knows it.

"I will talk to them, but without the Rumors. I think I'm already doing more than enough to hold up my end of this deal", she says through gritted teeth. But of course, he will adjust his proposal.
"Fine, fine", he says, adjusting his monocle. "Then I ask for just one thing. One that does not concern your siblings."

Allison narrows her eyes. So do I.

"I ask only that you state aloud that the Processor of this machine will fit into place without issue. A purely technical detail, but an essential one."

Allison exhales ironically, crosses her arms toward the slightly open door of the White Buffalo Suite, ready to walk away.

"You'd better disappear from my life after this", she mutters as she heads toward the corridor. And before she vanishes, she says clearly:

"I heard a rumor… that the Oblivion Processor fits into place without issue."

Immediately, my eyes widen, because I feel the energy shift, pressing against my nervous system and my Marigolds. I collapse to my knees, becoming tangible again, right in front of Hargreeves, my eyes fixed on the doorframe where Allison has just disappeared. He steps toward me, looking more satisfied than ever.

And I understand - instinctively - what he has done.

Suddenly, I'm contemplating differently the connection I've always felt with machines in general, and then with Oblivion in particular. Through their very matter, through the energy that brings them to life. Making space-time tremble, and causing its fabric to shimmer before my eyes in golden streaks.

I also grasp the significance of my bond with my birth companions -fellow wanderers through misfortune and fractured timelines - bound by a deep, unshakable empathy.

We are nothing more than cogs in the great machinery of the Universe. Components. Plug-ins, really, enabling its reset. And the Processor he speaks of - the one capable of orchestrating it - of giving form to the program defined by Allison… That Processor is me. And now I finally understand one last line from Hargreeves's notes, the one my mind had chosen to ignore: 'No activation possible without Processor'.

I want to curse him out, but I can't even find the breath to do it. He pulls me up by the arm. He opens the door to the Pachinko tunnel. His strength is astonishing, far greater than that of the frail old man he appears to be. I even feel strange, scaly appendages curling around my wrist, tightening their grip as he drags me along.

"Don't worry about Klaus", he tells me. "I'll tell him that your little exploration ended in tragedy, but that you are safe… in the afterlife."

And before the unreal light of the tunnel swallows us, before the one - for whom the fertile lands of Makȟá Zuȟéča surely matter no more than our lives - pulls me further, he murmurs:

"If you had cooperated in any timeline, I wouldn't have needed to resort to this."

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Notes:

The moment of the 'deal' between Reginald and Allison is a real hole in the series, one I wanted to fill in. This allowed me to better show the process of Hargreeves's persuasion and manipulation, but also to explore Allison's reasoning, as her role remains extremely complex and delicate to handle in this season.

Later, at the Oasis Spa, she subtly tells Viktor that she believes something good will come out of Oblivion for all of them. I wanted to make that thought more tangible here, while also clarifying her role in Oblivion.

Strikingly, despite her deal with Hargreeves, Allison never uses the Rumors on her siblings again - not even to convince them to participate in Oblivion. This may be connected to what she did to Luther, even though the show does not explicitly make that connection. I wanted to highlight this fact and prepare for the moment when she will ultimately oppose and stop Hargreeves, upon seeing her family suffer.

Now, Rin's role is clear in the great reset machinery: she is the Processor. An arc that has been subtly woven since Season 1. Reginald is about to lie to Klaus about her fate: another reason for him to want to stay in the Void.

I'm so sorry for them all. But any comments would make my day!