Chapter 45: Whoring clouds
Faint laughter traversed the tips of the surroundings trees. The knights had continued with their stories. Whether they did so in order to not make their queen feel awkward was something Izaya could merely guess.
Strong arms had circled around his waist as Izaya felt able to at least slowly walk back to the carriage on his own.
His pretense was that of a queen, of course, and a sick one on top, but he wasn't going to let Shizuo carry him around for no reason. He was already doing too much as it was, so giving off a more decent impression was the least he should muster.
It was funny, a few hours ago Izaya had been pretty sure this was a death ride. Not purposely, he believed Shizuo when he said that he wanted to help him.
But traveling inside the carriage Izaya couldn't help but think that this was the last he was ever going to see.
The campfire had managed to chase these ideas away for at least a moment.
A moment in which Izaya thought he was fine, at least for now, and maybe even for a longer time.
A wrong assumption.
Simply moving back to the carriage clutched Izaya by the throat and dragged him back to the misery of impending death.
His steps were weak, his body swaying- and at a particularly stupid stone he failed to see, Izaya stumbled.
Had the path been even he could have remained upright, but like this?
"Izaya-" Legs giving away it was only due to Shizuo's quick reflexes, that Izaya didn't dive head first into the muddy ground.
He felt hot. He felt weak. Every movement of his body felt like a chore and it scared him.
Izaya wanted to answer, wanted to apologize for being so clumsy, but no room to do so was given as he felt himself being pulled into the air.
Again.
Mixed feelings rushed to Izaya's mind as Shizuo carried him back to the carriage. He was relieved and grateful and yet at the same time embarrassed by his weak constitution.
"Thanks. Would have sucked if I dived head first into the dirt," he joked quietly and Shizuo stopped.
Warm eyes carrying the gaze of the rising morning sun directed at Izaya and somehow Izaya couldn't help but notice what a good looking man Shizuo was up close.
His smell too. Shinra's lavender was everywhere and Shizuo's natural heat served a most welcome contrast to the cold night that was starting to claim the mountain.
Shizuo had something on his mind. Something that he wanted to say out loud, but his lips somehow hesitated as he realized his words' contents.
Izaya was having a fever. Obviously too.
Shizuo doubted it had ever gone down since leaving the castle and yet-
Despite the fever, despite the illness that had befallen Izaya his eyes were as vibrant and lively as ever.
Izaya had joked about the dirt on the ground staining him, but Shizuo was convinced, not even the dirt could have possibly hidden that beauty.
The carriage was closed and the door opened even faster than the few steps it took to arrive and yet somehow Shizuo didn't want to let go of Izaya.
The sudden unreasonable urge to hug Izaya tight overwhelmed Shizuo and he resisted it with every fiber of his being as he put his fake queen back down onto her makeshift bed.
Fabrics rustled, coughs were suppressed and with a deep sigh Izaya laid back down. The back of his hand was raised to his forehead and he closed his eyes momentarily.
Worry set Shizuo's body cold as the smiling expression Izaya had held at the fireplace was so easily wiped off his face.
It was pure torture.
To know that Izaya was suffering without being able to do anything at all.
"Aren't you leaving?" Izaya asked quietly. It was a hidden order. Izaya didn't want him to watch the misery he displayed.
And yet it was exactly because of his suffering that there was no way Shizup could just leave.
It struck him as awfully cruel.
The carriage had been remodeled in the favor of Izaya's bed, but parts of the seats front and back were still visible next to the door and Shizuo took the chance to sit down next to Izaya.
He was missing his armory. Chainmail, sword and everything. Getting Izaya away from the castle had been the number one priority and so he had left them behind on Karazam's horse.
It had looked odd when they took off, the one guy responsible for medicine carrying a full armor on the back of his horse while their commander was riding at the front dressed like he intended to participate in a night of drinks. Wearing only a beige linen shirt and pants, really.
But that fact served in Shizuo's favor right now, as he was at least not creating any unnecessary noise while moving.
"I take it falling asleep with someone present makes this carriage seem less like a coffin, no?" he asked, and the palm on Izaya's forehead moved.
Surprise reflected in Izaya's eyes and a tired smile played along his lips as he picked up on Shizuo's secret offer.
"Admit it, you are cold." He joked and Shizuo accepted the pretense as a valid reason.
A quick nod was given and he even crossed his arms like back in his campaign though the ice storm.
"I'm absolutely freezing." He announced, with the conviction of someone that had actually wandered through snow for weeks.
He wasn't quite sure whether it was his offer, or his act, but one of these two things had seemed to cheer Izaya up as he lifted the top layer of his blanket softly.
"Want one of my blankets?"
Shizuo snorted. "And catch your fleas? No, thank you."
Izaya chuckled, "A warrior afraid of fleas? I think this is a tale your knights should hear about."
As if on cue the collective laughter of the seven knights at the fireplace reached their ears and both Shizuo as well as Izaya blinked in soft stupor.
A soft snort escaped Izaya's lips first and he quickly brought his voice back to a whisper.
"Did they hear us?" The same amused expression decorated Shizuo's face as he shook his head.
"I doubt it."
Again the knights' voices brimmed in the air and somehow Izaya enjoyed it. He wasn't part of the fireplace anymore, and yet by the way Shizuo's knights were so loud he felt as if he had never left.
Gaze traveling back to Shizuo he couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret.
He was keeping Shizuo.
For no real reason, really.
"You should join them again," he whispered, but Shizuo didn't seem inclined to do so at all.
"And leave this warmth?" he questioned in offended pretense. Izaya wanted to laugh at the joke, but somehow his lips didn't move that way.
They both were very well aware why Shizuo was staying. And it left a bitter aftertaste to Izaya's palate.
Turning to the side he shifted in a way that made it possible to look at Shizuo without craning his neck. "Alright, it's not my fault if you grow bored," he announced softly, and Shizuo smiled.
"With you? Never."
… it was funny.
Izaya was used to pretenses and hearing things like these on a daily basis. From lying maids, to pretentious guests of aristocracy. Phrases like that were never meant to be taken seriously.
And yet- when Shizuo said them Izaya could somehow tell they were actually genuine. They came from the bottom of his heart. Because he only spoke what he thought and only showed what he felt.
And that honesty was awfully disarming.
It caused his own heart to clench for some reason and made him look forward to his words way more than he should.
"I'm not as interesting as you make me out to be," Izaya complained softly, albeit not unflattered, "Just a body made of flesh and bones just like everyone else."
"I strongly disagree." Shizuo snorted, "You made Shinra like you, that alone is astounding."
Shinra, huh?
Just thinking at the doctor back at the castle made Izaya feel warm. He was a good guy. Of the same kind as Shizuo. Honest. Maybe a bit too much for his own good.
"He didn't strike me as hard to get by," Izaya irked an eyebrow. What could anyone possibly dislike about a person as diligent and resourceful as him?
Shizuo seemed awfully amused by his question. Leaning forward his chin met the palm of his hand in a more relaxed fashion.
"He dislikes everyone at the castle. They gave him a hard time when he arrived," he started to explain, "Ever since James always complains to me why I hired such an incompetent boy."
Izaya snorted. "Ouch."
That was truly undeserving for the young doctor.
"I heard him laugh when I came to check on you. Even I don't know how to make him smile most of the time, you know." Shizuo continued, and suddenly Izaya remembered parts of the conversations he had held with Shinra.
He couldn't quite pinpoint what exactly he might have done to garner his favor, but one specific topic stuck in his mind nonetheless.
A tinge of guilt befell Izaya for a second as he forced himself to meet Shizuo's gaze.
"...he told me. About how he met you."
Izaya wasn't quite sure whether Shizuo even wanted him to know. Of course it would be Shinra's fault for rambling his ass off the second he was alone with Izaya, but somehow Izaya felt guilty keeping that fact to himself.
Awful silence filled the carriage in a moment of surprise on Shizuo's part.
As expected, he hadn't seen that coming.
He blinked, and suddenly the stupor left and a smile sadder than Izaya wanted it to be spread across Shizuo's lips.
"Damn, he really likes you." Shizuo announced quietly. The words sounded surprisingly light. Not scolding, or annoyed. Which was odd considering he was meddling in a topic that was none of his business.
"I don't mind," Shizuo suddenly said with a gentle smile on his face, "That he told you."
He had probably picked up on the discomfort the topic brought and was trying to set the mood right again. It was stupid, this was what Izaya was supposed to do. It was something he excelled at.
Setting the mood. Controlling the pace of the conversation.
But with his head mushy and thoughts barely clinging to consciousness he felt like driftwood floating in the middle of a sea.
Maybe that's what Shizuo felt like too.
"I'm probably causing lots of painful memories to act up, aren't I?" Izaya whispered softly. Shizuo's mother had died of the very same illness Izaya was going to.
For a moment he thought Shizuo would give him pleasant phrases of reassurance, but one glance to his eyes told Izaya that he wasn't going to bother.
Shizuo didn't lie. Not even about such a heavy topic.
"A little maybe," Shizuo whispered softly. His gaze had directed itself towards the ground unintentionally. His palms met each other in a tight hold and after what felt like a century going by he lifted his face to meet Izaya's. "Can't say you don't scare the hell out of me right now."
Pain lingered in Shizuo's eyes.
Unspoken care.
Too much for a stranger.
Even for a friend.
It caused Izaya to choke. It was funny, he had always been emphatic. He usually knew what people were feeling by means of knowledge alone.
Yet, meeting Shizuo's gaze like this the sensation somehow seemed even more intense.
Silence returned to the carriage soothed by the knights' laughter.
They were probably talking about previous adventures and flaws in their personalities to joke about. It was an awfully cheerful round.
Especially Craigh's bellowing laughter was probably heard all the way back to the castle.
"Have I told you the story of how I became the Master of stones?" Shizuo suddenly asked and Izaya blinked.
A topic change. Shizuo was trying to lift the mood.
Giving his best smile Izaya negated the question and pulled his blanket up to his chin. "Not yet, no."
And so Shizuo started to tell the tale.
What exactly it was about Izaya wouldn't be able to remember. Because right now, all that he could hear were not words, but the soothing sound of Shizuo's voice.
The knight's laughter. The soft breeze tugging at the carriage.
The blanket provided warmth similar to that of Shizuo's presence and sooner than Izaya wanted it to, fatigue and fever handed him over to sleep as that voice kept him soothing company.
How long had it taken for Izaya to pass out? A few minutes? Definitely not more.
Deep worry grazed Shizuo's forehead as he looked at his fake wife.
Normally people looked peaceful when they slept. Izaya did, in a way, and yet just from looking at him Shizuo could tell his condition.
His breathing was shallow. Choked here and there. His skin was feverish.
Carefully pulling the blanket up just a little bit Shizuo made sure he was not going to freeze at night.
It was scary.
Looking at Izaya like this.
Knowing that he hadn't eaten anything proper in days. Drunken the bare minimum. He was glad for Crispin's bottle and whatever it contained as it was at least liquid that helped Izaya sustain himself a bit longer.
Swallowing hard, the blond turned as quietly as humanly possible and slipped out of the carriage.
The door was closed and a familiar shadow approached from a nearby tree.
Craigh.
No words were said, just glances exchanged.
Craigh was never one to pry, but Shizuo knew better than to assume he didn't want to talk.
"What did you tell Crispin? He is taking this better than I thought possible." Shizuo asked and the ginger man spoke of what he wasn't able to, earlier.
"The truth," he answered, "His sister died alone when they were at the market because they didn't want to strain her. I just asked him if he preferred our queen dying in the carriage all by herself, that fixed his behavior."
They were hard words.
Words that made Shizuo's blood run cold.
But this was the bitter truth of their current situation.
Nobody knew how long Izaya was going to hold out. He could very well be resting in the carriage for another five days.
But Shizuo could also check on him the next morning just to find him asleep.
Forever.
The idea drove his mind insane and urged his body to move and do whatever he could to avoid such a fate. It was insanely frustrating that no show of strength or fight could defeat this emotion of loss.
Eyes glued to the muddy ground Shizuo couldn't bring himself to reply anything.
Craigh seemed to notice.
A callous hand, too large for an average guy, met his shoulder in a rough pat.
"She is still breathing." Craigh announced, reminding Shizuo of the fact that the worst case scenario had not get occurred.
Shizuo was aware.
"I know." And yet, that knowledge didn't help much.
He would do anything to take Izaya's position.
Faint laughter, missing the enhancement of Craigh's voice stemmed from the fireplace. The flames crackled and for a moment they surged high as someone had tossed new fuel into the heat.
"It's awful seeing you so beat up." Craigh suddenly said and somehow Shizuo felt the urge to tell Craigh the truth. The truth about Izaya. The truth about what he was feeling.
He was heavily aware that he was taking this way harder than he should.
"Sorry, can't seem to do much about it." Shizuo whispered softly and his brows furrowed in pain from no source.
Craigh nodded, but another question seemed to have lingered on his mind for a while. "Why did you take her with us, if I dare ask?" he asked slowly.
Of course.
Shizuo had done a lot, commanded them to leave, informed his knights of their mission, but he had failed to introduce the topic of her joining.
"Shinra said the weather is making her worse. He is already treating her with everything he can but as long as she stays at the castle she won't recover." He briefly explained and Craigh sucked the air in like there was no tomorrow.
"Curse those whoring clouds and rain. I was never a fan of wet horses and cold meat," he announced with more fervor than typically needed and Shizuo couldn't help but snort.
"You say it."
Another nod was given and the tree that blocked the road eyed with disdain in the ginger knight's eyes.
"How long till we arrive at the border?" he asked, and Shizuo's gaze darkened.
"I want to ride nonstop the second we get rid of that damned tree."
A low whistle followed and Craigh smiled, "Two days it is." A pat was given to Shizuo's unmoving back and the ginger's expression spoke of determination. "Guess I should get my ass prepared for one hell of a ride."
to be continued~
Road trip, road trip, let's continued the road trip~ xDDDD