Chapter 58: Holy night
The night was pleasant. Pleasant in a way it had never been before.
Usually Izaya associated the darkness with fear, with the sensation of stones weighing his chest the further it progressed. Solitude and lack of distraction proved it to serve an intimidating character.
But right now, upon opening his eyes Izaya found himself oddly surprised by the joy the darkness brought.
Regaining consciousness hadn't been anything but a disappointment the past few days. Whenever he opened his eyes he was either facing the slow but sure decay of his own body, or Shizuo's worry that increased with every word spoken and second passing.
Right now there was none of that.
Turning his head the cushion Izaya was resting upon gave off the most quiet sound as the fabric shifted.
He was alone.
The chamber was shrouded in darkness, but the moonlight seeping past the window was enough to make out at least that much.
Shizuo's armor appeared to be gone and the king himself was nowhere to be found.
A hint of relief, paired with immediate guilt forced itself onto Izaya as he slowly pushed his back up into a sitting position.
He had slept the rest of the day it seemed. Or longer?
A tired smile forced its way onto his lips as he realized just how normal it had become for him to be out for more than a single day due to his body's condition.
He couldn't blame Shizuo for worrying, because that's what it was.
But right now…
Looking down his arms, palms and chest he searched for hints of discomfort.
They were there.
Stones lingered in his upper body just as they always did, albeit a bit less suffocating than usual.
Was that the healer's work? The rest? Which action could he attribute the improvement to?
Izaya didn't know.
All he knew was the slight fever grazing his skin and the stuffed heat drowsing his conscience. Yeah. He felt better, but compared to a decent healthy human being his status quo was sub par.
He remembered Karazam dropping by one more time after Shizuo left to hear what it was that Alaric had found out about the villager's disappearance.
He had brought some herbs, mixed and prepared them according to Shinra's instructions and Izaya hadn't really had it in him to talk a lot except for thanking him before he gave in to the exhaustion that this whole trip had brought.
He was worrying them all.
The knights. Shizuo.
Even the maids at lord Hebaron's castle seemed mildly unsettled by his worsening presence.
Taking a shaking breath, Izaya's hand found its way into his hair as he pushed the long black strands behind his ear. His hair had grown.
It was suiting his act of a queen better than it had when he arrived. But the action didn't only remind him of his current act.
Gaze falling upon the symbols the healer had drawn upon his palm Izaya halted midway.
The spell.
The healer said he could use it any time. Any time meant right now was alright too, right?
Hope that he hadn't dared to hold for the longest time sneaked a bitter smile onto his lips as he closed his eyes and clasped his hands.
Memories.
Good memories. Or ideas. That's what he was supposed to think about to make this rune work. Pictures of his siblings came to mind again. About the dream.
But somehow the sensation brought by repetition didn't serve as much as an impact as he had hoped it would.
The sensation of soothing warmth was missing and so he opened his eyes in a moment of light annoyance.
What else was left to think about?
He wanted his sisters to be safe. In the afternoon it had been all too easy to think about them positively. But now? In the middle of the night? When darkness was all that shrouded not only Izaya but probably also the twins?
It caused him to worry. Where were they right now? Were they able to sleep? Did they get something to eat? Were they injured or alright?
Too many thoughts of anything but happy nature produced the magic he was supposed to invoke and so Izaya sighed.
Positive.
He needed something that evoked a positive sensation.
And suddenly it was there. An image of Shizuo. In his mind.
The way the king actually invited him to dance back at the tavern somehow surfaced from the back of his mind and forced a smile upon Izaya's lips.
He was an idiot. He really was.
They almost fell too because he was overdoing the speed and yet-
Looking at his palm once more Izaya tried to relish in the sensations that evening brought.
The warmth. The joy.
The knights joking around with no filter, yet enough care to remain gentle when it came to Izaya.
They always did. Be it at the tavern, or at the fireplace. Crispin hadn't been a fan of Izaya at first, but he quickly learned it was just worry that caused his expression to sour like it had. Alaric was by far the funniest of the group. Despite scolding the poor man most of the time for the words he spoke, no one was more eager to hear what he had to say than the knights.
And Craigh-
He was like a brother to Shizuo and it showed. They way they interacted, be it good or bad, always held an air of understanding and will to forgive any action made. It was the safety of the family that Izaya felt from them.
Just like Shizuo himself.
Feeling his lips tug upwards into a smile, Izaya couldn't help but think about everything the king had done for him.
Despite having been tricked into believing Izaya was a woman he stood up for him. He hid his secret. He was searching for his sisters. He was taking care of Izaya.
He was worrying for Izaya.
Izaya's grasp on the silken blanket tightened for just a bit as he recalled the many, many times Shizuo had rushed to his aid. Nothing but absolute care reflected in his eyes whenever he looked at him and somehow that gaze was something that caused Izaya's breath to choke.
It was at that moment, as if on cue, that warmth spread from Izaya's palm.
Blinking surprised, Izaya looked at the rune the healer had drawn and excitement paired itself with the mixture of confusion as it started to spread.
Soothing, slow, but absolutely refreshing Izaya felt the magic spread through his body.
The way Izaya had healed the light scrape on Shizuo's cheek came back to mind and he smiled as he realized he was doing the same to his body right now. Just internally.
Nothing about his appearance changed. But the inside did.
The stones sticking to his chest like a swamps dirt after a heavy flood seemed to lift. His limbs regained their control and the stuffed heat drowsing Izaya's conscience started to fade.
The sensation threatened to fade as quickly as it started and Izaya quickly tore his thoughts away from his current state and instead tried to relish in the memories that had brought it along.
The fireplace. The tavern. The ride in the carriage. Alaric's jokes. The way Craigh accepted him as the queen and complimented his wits. Lord Hebaron and his stupid face after Izaya spoke to him in a manner that he couldn't possibly counter.
Mika. James.
Shinra and his words of encouragement.
Like the waves of an ocean the rune in Izaya's palm pulsated as it increased and decreased in its radiation of power.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Izaya had never been a greedy type of person, but right now he couldn't get enough of the sensation.
He wanted to get better. He wanted to finally be able to walk among Shizuo and the knights without collapsing on the side. He wanted to be an equal to the king. A support. Not a weight dragging him down.
More and more of the soothing warmth crept into Izaya's body.
He didn't know how much time had passed when the first signs of fatigue suddenly tore his mind away from the memories he relished in.
As if having been kicked by a horse, all former magic and warmth suddenly disappeared from Izaya's body as he felt an incredible weight of exhaustion hit his body.
The silky blanket was grasped tight for a moment and Izaya's eyes shut tightly.
He felt drained- but drained in a different scene. More of the kind a farmer would feel after having worked the fields for an entire week, he suspected.
Was that the spell?
The healer said it had no negative side effects.
As fast as the discomfort had appeared, it started to fade again, and the silence returned to the chamber.
Slowly, but surely, the exhaustion that drained his body dissipated and Izaya sighed relieved.
The silliness of his actions only became apparent after misusing the rune he had been given and Izaya couldn't help but chuckle quietly.
The healer had said he could use his spell as often as Izaya liked.
But waking up in the middle of the night and casting it countless times in repetition was probably not what he had meant when he spoke of a carefree use.
Izaya's eyes glittered as he glanced towards the windowsill.
The moon was up high. Almost full too.
The dizziness of overusing the healer's spell passed quicker than expected, and somehow Izaya suddenly found himself yearning for that windowsill.
All logic and reason must have left his mind as he moved his legs towards the ledge of his bed.
Only sitting up had caused a soft wave of nausea to tilt his surroundings- and yet-
He wanted to get up.
He wanted to move.
He had done nothing but lay in bed for such a long time, no desire seemed to be as intense as the wish to get out of it.
And so he did.
Slowly, with utmost caution and care for his body's warnings Izaya pushed at the silken fabrics layered atop the bed.
His feet touched the cold ground, but Izaya couldn't find himself minding.
He was weak overall- felt like he had been running for ages and never cared to stop for a break.
But he felt good.
And so he pushed himself off the bed.
The nightstand next to it was grasped immediately as Izaya expected his action to fail immediately.
But it didn't.
Standing there, albeit a little unsteady, he felt no worse than he had when lying down.
The opposite almost.
The nightly breeze stemming from the windowsill grazed his ankles and Izaya found himself smiling at the sensation as he carefully moved towards it.
He was fine-
He was actually-
Climbing into the window still with a major lack of gracefulness he pulled his legs up and let his back thud against the cold stone of the lord's mansion.
Cool air moved his hair in various directions as the moonlight touched his shoulders.
The nightgown he was wearing was drawing patterns of a blossoming flower in the currents of wind and Izaya found himself thinking that if anyone looked up here right now they would probably think him to be the female ghost of a previous lord's wife.
Attentive eyes scanned the surroundings of their new location and a smile grazed Izaya's lips when he spotted the tavern the knights had been visiting not too far from the castle.
It was dark and most people slept, but the light in the tavern's window was everlasting and undying it seemed.
Hills of meadows made the most of lord Hebaron's terrain and gazing at the horizon Izaya could spot a large body of water.
He knew that one.
It was separating Shizuo's kingdom from the next. A natural border, so to say. The large lake branched out into various streams and rivers. The broadest of its kind was what marked the lands.
It was when the sound of metal hitting metal reached Izaya's ears that his gaze lowered to a less distant view.
The walls encircling lord Hebaron's mansion were arguably short and more of a decoration than a real defense, but considering the strict law judging every single visitor coming to these lands at the border, it was understandably that security was the last factor he considered when building his home.
It was due to these short walls that Izaya caught a glimpse of no one else, but Shizuo's knights.
Sitting on the back of their horses they seemed to have dispersed in all directions, only to meet up now for a quick exchange of intel.
Izaya had wondered why Shizuo hadn't been inside his chamber.
So he was working.
Worried expressions marked their faces and despite wishing to know what they were talking about, there was no way for Izaya to perceive any clear words from up here.
The only fact that remained was the odd number they presented.
Seven. Including Shizuo. Which was odd, because they should be eight in total.
One was missing- but who?
It was then that a sound suddenly rattled at the door of Izaya's chamber and he turned in a short moment of fear.
An intruder? Someone out to end his life? Lord Hebaron? A maid? Someone who had noticed his true gender?
He expected the door to open and reveal who it was that held animosity towards his being.
But it didn't.
Instead the sound returned.
Awfully controlled.
Even.
Moving in steady patterns.
And with an unladylike snort escaping his lips Izaya realized with relief what it was that had woken him from his slumber.
Snoring.
And not anyone's snores.
Craigh's.
Izaya had heard them from inside his carriage more often than not and couldn't help but stifle a short chuckle.
The ginger bear appeared to be sleeping in front of his door.
So that's why there had only been six of Shizuo's seven knights.
He had ordered his best to guard his wife.
For a second the option of opening that door and waking Craigh from his dutiful position came to Izaya's mind. But no.
He decided against it as quickly as the idea had come. The good man deserved a bit of rest after everything he had done.
And so Izaya quietly slipped from the ledge. It took only a few insecure steps across the cold floor to reach the bed and for some reason Izaya couldn't help but feel like a fairy that was dancing upon the surface of a magical pond in the way he moved just as carefully as he imagined one of that kind would.
The silky blankets ecassed Izaya quickly and the warmth his body had left behind still retained and served an amazing sensation to his now cold feet.
Cozy. Comfortable.
Painfree.
That's what he felt like right now.
Capable and hopeful, as it seemed he had finally found a solution to his damned illness. If that was true, then the only goal he had to attain was finding his sisters.
One last glance was cast towards the gentle moon's gaze and reached out for the glowing orb of white before clasping its shape inside his palm.
He would find them, no matter what.
to be continued~