Chapter 71: Spontaneous impulse
Dull pain with no source suddenly thrummed in the back of Izaya's mind as the music of the hall continued spurring into quicker and quicker motion.
A few people were starting to dance and slowly but surely chatter and laughter was filling the rows.
What was he thinking?
Of course he wouldn't be his wife.
This was nothing but a pretense to find his sisters. Only upheld to that point.
And it was when he looked towards Shizuo, attempting to return to Izaya's side and Narcissa who was still waiting for her wine, that Izaya realized his grave mistake.
A couple women- gorgeous, prettied up and perfectly fertile had gathered around the king with curiosity glittering in their eyes.
Compared to their parents they were much less prone to stick to rumors and more willing to allow a fresh slate of their own judgment.
Just like lady Karch's daughters.
Looking at the two ladies next to him Izaya suddenly couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt.
Izaya was keeping him from what he truly wanted.
Shizuo would make a great father. One kinder than anyone else. Gentle but strict in the right ways.
It had to be Shizuo's own kind of personal torture. To see all these women, and know he couldn't take one because of his current wife.
But soon he would be able to. Once Izaya's sister were found they would simply fake his death and make the king a widow. That way he would be able to marry again, find a new woman and-
Silence suddenly cleared all thoughts on Izaya's mind and his body stiffened.
He felt cold.
Bitter.
Why?
A glass of wine was quickly grabbed from a nearby table and so he moved.
"Really? A true dragon?" One of the women exclaimed loudly and Narcissa as well as Violet made their way over to the king that failed to catch up to them.
"What is this? Are you telling stories of your adventures?" Narcissa suddenly asked and Shizuo offered her the glass of wine he had been holding onto.
"It is. But I think I should stop, such stories are not suited for a banquet."
Delighted chuckles and charmed expressions made up most of Shizuo's surroundings and before he knew it a sense of pride filled his chest.
For once he actually felt competent.
Like he knew what he was doing.
It used to be so hard to converse with strangers without offending someone on the way, but somehow staying with Izaya seemed to have improved his manners as well as his way of speech.
"But I assure you, my knights are more capable than any in these lands. There is no feat they can't accomplish," he added quickly, thinking that the ladies might take his refusal of storytelling as a lack of tales to tell.
"You only talk about your knights, but isn't it you who is leading them this victoriously?" Lady Karch's daughter Violet suddenly asked with glittering eyes and Shizuo snorted. "Even the best commander couldn't catch a herd of pigs if he weren't blessed with capable companions."
More chuckles resounded all around and suddenly Narcissa was right by his side.
"My king, you are way too modest," she laughed and Shizuo suddenly found himself remembering the night at the fireplace.
The way Izaya had laughed and said something similar.
Modest.
Was he really?
Eyes circling back he looked for the originator of those words, and he spotted him.
His own glass of wine at hand it seemed Izaya had taken matters into his own hand after seeing Shizuo struggle to simply return to his side.
He was talking to one or the noble merchants from what Shizuo could tell, and somehow he couldn't tear his eyes from the sight.
Izaya wasn't even looking into his direction, but maybe that was exactly why he seemed so incredibly alluring.
Everytime he moved.
Everytime he talked.
No matter what action or words he used, he looked as elegant as a flower blooming at the peak of sunset on a summer night.
"Is your wife truly fine again?" Violet suddenly asked, tearing Shizuo out of his mild stupor and he quickly cleared his throat as he realized how unnaturally silent he had become.
"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you," he apologized, but only kindness and joy was to be found in her expression as she chuckled.
"It's fine, it's fine," she quickly waved him off, and glanced towards their queen. "I hope you get to enjoy your time with her."
Yeah, he really was. Every moment spent with him seemed to last for an eternity.
"But have you thought about taking a second wife?"
And suddenly that eternity stopped.
"Narcissa-" Violet whispered with a scolding tune, while eyesing Shizuo from the side.
But Narcissa was hardly stopped by her quiet warning and merely continued as she smiled at the king like a predator at his meal.
"It must be hard for someone like you. With a wife this weak and sickly," she whispered, batting her eyelashes a few extra times as she edged closer and suddenly she smiled. "You do want a healthy heir, right?"
And suddenly Shizuo understood and his guts clenched in a moment of disgust.
She was offering herself as someone to fuck.
Anger and nausea mixed in Shizuo's mind at the idea as his body stiffened.
And suddenly he remembered her.
She was the next possible candidate hadn't it been for the arrangement of Izaya's father and the late king. This girl, Narcissa, was obviously testing the waters whether that called off marriage was one she could still hope for as soon as the current queen died and that realization caused Shizuo's guts to churn.
What the hell.
Why were they like this? Almost like harpies out to swallow the scraps of a corpse. Gruesome, more than his own rumors.
Annoyance filled Shizuo's mind quicker than anger. Had it been any other place and time he would have left on the spot. Told her to fuck off and never speak to him again.
Because he would trade this stupid event anytime for an evening in their castle with grapes, cheese and Izaya and his witty conversations.
His joy, his siblings-
And suddenly Shizuo's annoyance and madness came to an immediate halt.
His sisters.
Craigh.
Once he found them… it would be over wouldn't it?
Izaya would stop pretending to be his wife, take his sisters and then-
He didn't feel it when his hand tightened around the glass of wine he was holding, nor did he really notice when the glass snapped on its side.
"Oh! My king! Are you hurt?" Narcissa quickly asked, and surprised by his own actions and repulsed by hers, Shizuo found not many words to reply as the woman pushed herself up against his arm as though it was needed to clean away the wine that was dripping down his wrist.
Izaya had heard the small commotion and turned his head as well.
The merchant he had been talking to was one of lower status, barely worth inviting to a banquet like this, but it was exactly because of that, that Izaya invited him to the castle.
Shizuo's reputation had to grow, one way or the other, and yet somehow the second Izaya turned to look into Shizuo's direction that thought was lost.
He could see her.
Narcissa.
All over Shizuo.
A glass of wine had apparently broken. Nothing unusual, really. And yet- seeing the way the women surrounding Shizuo used that small incident to edge even closer caused a feeling of annoyance to rise in Izaya's throat.
Anger.
Regret.
And a feeling he couldn't quite pinpoint.
They weren't doing anything indecent and yet the air suddenly felt way too heavy to remain in that damned hall.
Out.
"If you would excuse me," he quickly uttered, not bothering to wait for the merchant's reaction as he headed for the balcony. It wasn't too far. Right next, opposite to the entrance.
The grand stairs on the front of the mansion had lifted them onto the second floor or the building and so Izaya faced a gentle breeze as soon as his feet stepped outside.
Marmored railguards and a couple roses growing all the way up from the bottom breached onto the top of the balcony.
They were a deep red. Redder than the wine he was holding and his eyes narrowed as he took a quick sip of the bitter liquid.
Elbows met the marble and with a deep sigh Izaya looked into the dark garden. He could barely make out a few bushes and trees, but the view was not what he had come here for in the first place.
… just what was wrong with him?
Looking at Shizuo with that woman made him feel worse than his illness ever had.
Made his chest feel tight in a different way.
"How do you feel?"
Startled to hear the once voice he hadn't expected, Izaya turned around.
Shizuo.
Having abandoned the women clinging to his body like it was the last plank of wood in the midst of a dark ocean he had followed Izaya onto the balcony.
Alone.
Leaving all those meaningless women behind.
And Izaya just suddenly felt that heavy weight lift off his chest.
He came.
Searched for him the moment he left.
Why did that thought cause such a stupid amount of joy?
"I'm fine," he quickly uttered, not realizing that these were the few words that Shizuo hated hearing from him.
"That again?" Shizuo snorted, and suddenly he came closer.
Eyes of deep care and worry lingered on Izaya's face, trying to make sure for himself whether Izaya was really as fine as he said he was.
And Izaya looked at him.
Oddly speechless and void of things to say and so Shizuo was the first to speak.
"You look beautiful tonight," he whispered, only to correct himself a second later, "As the queen." And Izaya felt a stab to his chest. Painful and worse than his coughs.
"You do too," he replied, but quickly realized his mistake as he added. "As the king."
But somehow Izaya's expression didn't match his words. He was aware. And it seemed Shizuo was too as his smile fell just the slightest bit.
It was a hand, offered towards Izaya that brought the mess of thoughts inside Izaya's head to a standstill as he glanced up in mild confusion.
"Do you want to join me for another dance?" Shizuo requested and it was as if someone had thrown Izaya back in time.
Back to the time at the tavern. To the knights. To the music and the way Shizuo had held him close.
Of the moments those turns and spins made him feel as though they were alone.
Just the two of them in the entire world.
And longing to the point it hurt, consumed his entire self.
He wanted it back.
He wanted it back so bad.
But it was impossible wasn't it?
"You don't have to of course," Shizuo suddenly whispered, mistaking his lack of an answer as a decline and the raft in Izaya's chest only grew further apart.
Until he spoke.
"But I guess I have to and I would much prefer you than those ravenous women in there."
Izaya wasn't quite sure when he had lowered his gaze. Was it when Shizuo approached? When he asked to dance? But he had. And now that he lifted his face to look at Shizuo he couldn't help but become lost in his eyes.
Shizuo was looking at him as though he was the most beautiful gem in the castle.
And Izaya's chest felt as if it were going to burst from the sudden gush of warmth spreading inside out.
He wanted him. He wanted him so bad. To be his-
"Like back at the inn?" Izaya whispered and Shizuo paused.
It was suddenly just so, so quiet.
The music from the hall seemed to fade into non existence, just as the chatter and various people present.
And Shizuo smiled, "If it brings back your smile I will catch you as often as needed."
And somehow it was as though Shizuo's full blown attention was only on Izaya.
Izaya alone.
And Izaya wanted it to never leave.
An urge of panic and knowledge of finality suddenly filled Izaya with dread and the every remaining sound drowned in the beat of his heart.
And suddenly they were there. Their conversations. Their actions.
The way Shizuo pulled him close at various times. The way he kissed his forehead back at the castle.
His warmth now and gaze reserved for only him.
And Izaya's hand moved before he knew what he was doing.
He touched Shizuo's cheek.
Without thought.
Without dread.
An impulse, that's all it was.
And suddenly he was there.
On the tip of his toes, leant upwards.
His lips pressed against Shizuo's.
Soft.
Quick.
But so full with emotion.
It was just a brief second.
A moment that couldn't have been shorter but also not any less delightful-
And Izaya leant back as realization dawned on him.
He was a man.
He was kissing the king.
Sodomy-
And suddenly the words streamed from his lips faster than the heat of dread and demise turning Izaya's head upside down. Hot wires stringed his throat shut and his eyes stung in a moment of deep regret of actions he couldn't take back-
"Sorry- I'm so sorry- I'm drunk, I'm an idiot, I-"
And Shizuo- Shizuo was dumbstruck.
Unexpected was a word that didn't even come close to what had just happened- and yet-
Izaya.
Everything was suddenly Izaya and Shizuo felt as though he had just found the last piece of a puzzle he had been working on for ages.
Izaya.
And suddenly Shizuo moved.
Arms sneaked around Izaya's hip and he was pulled closer, effectively shutting off the flood of unwanted apologies streaming from his lips.
Closer. Much closer.
Eyes locked in each other, his lips hovered above Izaya's and he whispered.
"I think I'm drunk too."
The air stood still.
Fire ignited in Izaya's chest and the ability to speak was lost as quickly as his words of regret.
"My king."
And suddenly it was there. The voice of a third party.
Startled beyond existence the two parted as quickly as they had closed in and the very familiar figure of lord Hebaron approached them from the inside.
"Lord Hebaron-" Shizuo uttered stupefied, and Izaya quickly pushed himself off the railing.
"I hope you enjoyed your evening at the tavern," the lord greeted politely and also reminded the two of the way Izaya had forced the man to pay for not only their expenses but also that of Shizuo's knights.
He was just trying to hold a decent conversation- but his timing couldn't have been worse as Izaya's mind descended into the chaos of what he had just done.
to be continued~
xDDD Yep I am stopping right here xDDDD NOW SUFFER xDDDDDDD
See you next friday~ C: C: C: C: