I didn't like math, but I didn't dislike math.
Math, like many things in life, has its ups and downs. The basic operations were a must have for anyone at any age, lifespan and era. From the ancient Egyptians to the recent, in my time, renaissance, math was there to hold humanity's hand when things seemed illogical. You can say whatever you want about Newton, for being a virgin, he propelled the human race to heights never glimpsed before.
However, the math on the white board was as amusing as a fight between two cripples; full paralysis, no gadgets.
Since it was nothing new to me, I stopped copying the teacher at some point and opened the notebook from the end. The eight world; a marvelous phenomenon unexplained by the crackhead science in my own little universe.
Instead of opening a new page and starting from scratch, I built upon what I already had. Space was spacious as is and the carnivorous fruits were in dire need for kinship.
Math was nice. Math was useful. But when math invoked monotony? Hell to the no. I had no objections to sitting still for hours on end, I drew the line when my brain numbed and neurons disconnected. I didn't have a speedo for the occasion.
„No…" I mumbled, more breathed out. Flipping the pencil in hand, I erased the bench I started, the design unfit for my planet. Sharper angles, pointier joints, it wasn't a place for rest; the anti-bench! No jogger shall sit on that bench and rejuvenate!
Once I was pleased with the product, I began on an adjacent bin, loitering was a capital punishment in my realms. If I felt generous, I'd decree death by snu snu-
A white ball landed on my notebook, scaring the living shit out of me. For a moment. I didn't make a sound, just a small jump. Upon closer inspection, it was a crumpled piece of paper, the square tiles of relevant origin.
Looking around inconspicuously, I spotted nothing out of the ordinary; they were in the thick of it and everybody knew. Heads down in their work, pens depleting ink, the rare frustrated grunt there. The culprit perfectly covered their involvement. In addition, no one seemed to notice either the action or my reaction.
Turning back to the rough ball, I mentally prepared myself for anything on that paper, an offensive meme the best outcome. I grabbed the sphere, the jagged angles prickling my hand. With both of them, I quietly unfolded the note, straightening it out on the desk.
A single sentence was written in deep blue; Would you go out with me?
…
That… was the strangest joke to date. What was this? A high school movie? I always thought these shenanigans were exaggerated or… or…
I was right; it was a joke. A cruel joke. A throw-back to the incident in the cafeteria, the fox wasn't the only one who had a problem with me. Whoever braved Miss Hajime's iron gaze was trying to poke at my personal issues, this guy, or gal, was looking for trouble!
Trouble that I wasn't going to dish out. Gon, Miya, even that snake guard, I couldn't afford to become involved in more drama. A shiver went down my spine, just thinking about her had me freezing in a sauna.
I digress. Picking up the pencil between my fingers, I corrected the grip, the graphite tip reluctantly touching the ugly note. I had an answer in mind. If I couldn't confront the opposition directly, I could play other games.
I replied, When I am an adult, adding a winking smiley. I wanted to see what they'd think of that. Yeah. Johnny: 2. Opps: 0. Perfectly unbalanced, as no things should be.
Before I could return to doodling, the bell rang, signifying the end of the day. I began packing my belongings, taking a sip from my bottle in the process. Remembering I had no club activities, my mood lightened, the importance of the note fading from my conscience.
Once all was in, I zipped the bag and left, the majority of students had already done so. Along the halls, new posters adorned the walls; a fur coat didn't protect one from the elements, don't forget your umbrella, stay safe and hydrated and such. Indeed, the seasons were changing.
My ear caught wind, an unnatural one. At first, I thought I imagined it, but a moment after, I heard a familiar voice.
"-scuse me, coming through, sorry- hey! Wait up!" A female shouted, rapid footsteps approaching behind. I didn't even bother to turn, holding out my left hand.
I then received a low five, resuming the walk with a friend, "Hey, how was your day?"
"Terrible!" She complained, though her tail betrayed her. "We had a surprise test in history class and there was a fight in the lockers after PE!"
"Wow," I replied towards the second part, "what happened? You didn't take part in that, right?"
"Do you think so little of me?" She lightly punched my shoulder. "No, but I know a few of the girls, I hope they don't get suspended."
"I'm with you on that one, amen," I didn't really give a fuck, I cared about Juno but acted the part out of courtesy.
"How about you? I heard your class had a quiz in seaspeak~"
"Don't even," I sighed, rubbing my temples, "I HATE it. I don't care anymore, I'll never use it anyway!"
"You don't know, what if your future boss is a seal or…" Staring me in the eye, she giggled, "okay, maybe that won't happen but it doesn't hurt to know! Half the world speaks it!"
"That half can burn for all I care," I said, even though it wasn't possible because of physics.
"Oh, Johnny… whatever will I do with you~?"
"I can just use zoozle translate," I proposed, fully aware the application was more ass than a donkey.
"HA! If you do so with an ambassador of the Atlantic, be sure to tell me how it went," she snorted, her tail hitting my upper thigh, "I can help you catch up on material if… since you are struggling."
"I'm not struggling! I… I'm just delaying my… uh…"
"Go on, I've got aaaaaall day~" She grinned, her gorgeous eyes twinkling like the brightest stars.
"My uh- glow up! Yes, it'll happen naturally."
She gave me a funny look, "What is a 'glow up'?"
I mentally facepalmed. Our slang was worlds apart, literally. To her, I took two words and smashed them together like Ken and Barbie dolls.
"It's… it means to… improve a trait," I elaborated, giving leeway to a larger student.
"So, if I ace the next test, I'd have glowed up?"
"Juno…" I stopped her, placing my hand on her shoulder with a thin smile, "don't ever say that again," letting her go, we resumed our walk.
"O…kay?" She dropped the matter, mustering the next line, "what are you doing on the weekend? Besides streaming."
What was I going to do?
Over the course of several weeks, I'd grown a substantial following of animals from all over. The website had the option to charge a fee for subscriptions and limit access to the chat as well as the option to enable donations up to ten thousand yen. I didn't like that.
It wasn't a job because I had no rent. It wasn't a charity for I had no heart. When I had every kind of food on a silver platter, asking for more was wrong. And involving money scared me. I treated streaming as a hobby; my own pleasure. If others found enjoyment in mine, then the world was a little brighter than yesterday. Thus, monopolizing on my nostalgia would destroy it.
In the most toxic lobbies, humbled by professional gamers utilizing gamerspeak, I reminisced on the old ones. The group chat, elementary friends, community servers. Those were the days. Even though grape juice turned wine, I still drank.
"I don't know," I replied honestly, "there's nothing else. I'd love to go to an amusement park but I can't exactly waltz out…" willy nilly, I thought, lacking the terms to express.
Her ears drooped, "Right…" she then went quiet for a short while, eventually adding, "Is there really no way?"
"You sound concerned," I grinned mischievously, grasping a glaring weakness, "what would you do if I went out? Become my bodyguard?"
"That…"
"Heh, imagine. You, in a suit," the bald lab-grown agent but a female wolf, "with how much we hang out, if you did that, it'd seal the deal."
"What… deal?"
"Everyone would think we're a couple!"
"..."
"I mean, I wouldn't object a bodyguard if it was you. I would never be bored, that's for sure," I sighed, the last turn before the exit ahead.
She said nothing, her footsteps synced with mine.
"Juno?"
"Mm- yes?" She blinked several times, her head darting about at microscopic angles.
"Are you alright? You… zoned out," I snapped my fingers in front of her, "something on your mind?"
"Y-yeah, yup. I forgot I needed to help the drama club for the festival, yeah."
"Huh? Isn't…" I suppressed a chortle, "Rexmas next month? Or is there another I was unaware of?"
"No, there isn't, but there's lots to do like painting the statues…" she began listing off so much work it'd give a lazy bastard a heart attack; someone like me, "...and the-"
"Okay! Okay. I get it," I waved dismissively, surrendering to the verbal siege, "don't exhaust yourself, though. I got the cafeteria to give me a whole pizza for dinner!"
She hummed in reply, her mind truly on something else.
"And I was thinking: 'That's too much for me!' I'm not a fat fuck, but I don't want to throw the other half to waste, soooo…
Would you like to eat it with me?"
Snapping out of her trance, she locked onto me, blocking the exit, "W-what? Say that again… please?"
"I want to share a pizza with you," I summarized, pocketing my hands, "it's not very healthy, so I understand if you don't-"
"I WILL~!" She smiled, clearing her throat and lowering her tone, "I'd love to, I haven't had pizza in ages! When and where?"
"Uh… the cafeteria? Seven like always?" I clarified, bamboozled. Where else did she want to go? The moon? The stress must be getting to her.
"Great!" We left the building, a cool breeze caressing my skin, the ends of her furry cheeks swaying with the flow, "I-I'll go freshen up right no- after club, a-and then…" a squee was cut short before it bloomed, "okay, I have to go, see you later!" Giving me a quick hug, she ran off for her errands, whatever they might be.
„That was… strange," I commented, a student moving around me. Realizing I was in the middle of the path, I started to my room. Something in my gut told me that my she-wolf accomplice was… in layman's terms, off the rocker.
However, my tummy was partially empty and women, of any species, had this neat thing called a monthly cycle. That was all that needed to be said.
After traversing a third of the school grounds, I arrived at the dormitory. The housemother was greeted curtly, a random buck ignored me, my door opened and my clothes flew off.
Me being me, I assumed the temperature throughout the day would rise gradually, the morning was cool enough to warrant the green jacket. Unfortunately, I was none the wiser and received a surprise sweat storm before lunch. I learned today to check the forecast alongside silencing the alarm.
Before entering the shower, I cranked both valves and waited until the water was lukewarm, only then I cleansed the filth.
There was nothing else like a warm bath during winter. The soothing liquid washing over me, bidding responsibilities farewell, ridding the mind of everyday miseries. It was a good time to reflect on our position in life, mistakes and accomplishments forming a truce, to unwind the clock and…
What are you doing on the weekend?
I wished I could. I wished and wished and wished; that was all a man could do when he was bound. The risks were too great for the taking, and mobilizing an army so I could go out for ice cream when I could get it delivered to my doorstep was ludicrous.
Besides streaming…
Some might say it was a sad existence; to live for others. A purpose was a purpose, that can't be argued. My musical talent has vastly improved, the old castle under renovations, and although I'd discovered a new hobby via sheer luck, it didn't feel… enough.
It was almost too easy. All I needed to do was click the mouse a dozen times and content was generated! No planning, no editing, no effort! Perhaps I was full of myself but I wanted to do more, I desired more. Greed? Maybe, or ambition. A strong sense to prove something to myself, to compile the best moments of a stream and post a video-
„EurekaAAAAA!" I screamed, „HOTHOTHOT-!" Shutting off the water, I wheezed in pain, steam rising off me like a violated engine.
Despite the light burns I gained, which weren't that bad an hour later, I realized an idea, a possible solution to fulfill my younger-self's dreams; becoming a ZooTuber.
And I had just the guy to parody in mind.