Chapter 19: Decisions, Decisions

I Don't Own Ben 10 or Any of the Respective Characters, The Rights Belong to Man of Action Studios and Cartoon Network

Author's Note:

* Hello and welcome to Chapter 19!

* This is another original chapter from the initial version of Cold Winter's Night, however, I've tweaked the plot a little so that readers who read the original won't automatically know what's going on in this chapter. Anyway, without further ado, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Ben

Friday, April 20th, 2018

Madison High School Cafeteria

So, after everything with Zombozo and his circus last Friday, remember how I had been relieved that Gwen was safe and that I assumed that everything would be okay? Well, I was wrong. Or at least, I think I was. Let's just skip ahead of all the in between stuff and get to my point here. I had a new nightmare. This time, I not only had I failed to save everyone from Zombozo, but I failed to save Gwen.

I had succeeded in saving everyone, not just Gwen, so there was no point to me having this nightmare. I could see if maybe I had it just one time, as maybe a knee jerk reaction to that night, but this wasn't the case. I had had this nightmare every night since the Circus and Carnival. And because of this, I've been finding myself being really worried about Gwen even though she's perfectly safe. And as if things weren't weird enough, this new nightmare was making me reflect back to the other nightmare, the one about Gwen and I at the movie theaters.

It was making me wonder if I actually had other feelings for Gwen that went beyond our familial bond and for the life of me, I can't figure out why. It was leaving me with this big knot in my stomach that just wouldn't go away. It had even reached the point where it was invading my personal life. I was thinking about her everyday when I really shouldn't be. I couldn't see sense in any of this. Regardless of why I was having these thoughts or the way I was thinking about Gwen, none of it made sense.

Today's lunch period had rolled around and I decided to distance myself from my friends today. I had gone to sit down by myself at an empty table and currently had my World History textbook open so that it looked like I was currently studying. As I sat there staring down at my textbook while I ate my lunch, I heard someone's footsteps approaching, before coming to a stop at the opposite side of the table from me.

"Some light reading over lunch?" I heard a familiar voice ask.

I looked up to see Gwen standing at the opposite side of the table. I looked at back down at my textbook before I replied.

"I try to get my studying in where I can these days. Graduation's coming up, we're in finals season and I don't have enough free time to put to it."

"That's fair."

Silence fell between us after that and I was okay with this, as I didn't exactly see a point to her approaching me out of the blue just yet. However, knowing Gwen, it wouldn't take long for her to get to the point. And that would be proven when she pulled out the chair opposite me to sit down.

"Can I ask you something?"

I looked back up at her, now knowing that she was requesting my full attention.

"Well, you're here, aren't you? What's on your mind?"

The look on her face hinted that she was possibly uncomfortable with what she was about to say. Regardless of whether or not that was true, she spoke anyway.

"Is there something the matter with you? You've been avoiding me this whole week and I find it to be a bit off putting."

I shook my head and glanced back down at my textbook as I reached for my next forkful of food.

"No. I just haven't had the free time to hang out with you recently. Like I said, graduation and finals season."

"But that doesn't fully explain your actions! Even if you were busy, you could have spared the time to say hi to me in class or when we pass each other in the halls!"

I didn't respond this time. To be frank, I didn't know how to after that.

"I'm saying that I think there is something going on with you. I'm not here to pry information out of you, but I do want to offer my support and advice should you ask for it."

I said nothing still.

"How about this? What if I tell you that there's something going on with me, too? I've been having weird, recurring dreams lately and I can't discern their meaning."

I looked back up at her right as she said that and this seemed to get a reaction out of her.

"What?" she asked as she blinked. "What is it?"

I shut my textbook as I realized that it would be impossible to continue "studying" now.

"Nothing." I said as I stuffed the textbook inside my backpack. "I just misheard you, that's all."

I slung my backpack over my shoulder as she looked at me.

"Well?" she asked.

"I'm sorry to say that you came over here for no reason. There's nothing wrong with me and I doubt that I can help you with your dreams."

Even though I'm having the exact same problem. But I can't tell you about my dreams or the thoughts that they've been causing me. You'd just look at me with disgust in your eyes and I'd lose you forever.

"And even if there were something wrong with me," I continued. "I wouldn't need your help. I can handle myself, no offense meant."

Instead of backing off, she took that as an invitation to question me further.

"So, there is something bugging you?"

I just stared at her in response.

"I specifically just told you—"

"—That nothing is wrong with you." She finished my sentence with a teasing smile. "But I know when you're lying. You've always been easy to read."

I chuckled as I picked up my lunch tray as I stood up from my seat.

"Tell me something I don't know."

She took a second as if she were debating what she was about to say.

"You're cute."

I felt my cheeks grow extremely hot. In fact, if it weren't for the situation at hand, I wouldn't have been surprised if I was feverish.

"What?" I finally asked.

I could have sworn that her cheeks were a little pink too, but if they were, it didn't stay that way for long.

"You told me to tell you something that you didn't know."

My face immediately cooled down as I felt hurt for some reason.

So, she tells me that as a joke now of all times?

"Oh, ha-ha, very funny, Gwen. Way to joke around! Thanks for the visit. I'll see you later."

I turned as she began to speak again, but I didn't care.

Gwen

"Ben, wait! I didn't mean it like—"

He had already walked away from me and likely wouldn't hear my words.

"—that."

I let out a sigh as I sat back down at the table that Ben had been sitting at. I laid my head down on the table.

You dummy, why did you have to call him cute? Why couldn't you have said that he's fun to be around, or that you really want to spend time with him? Literally anything else would have been better. Why did you do that, Gwen?

Ben

A Few Hours Later

The Tennyson House

I shut the front door behind me as I arrived home from school.

"Hi, sweetheart." Mom greeted me as I walked into the house. "How was school today?"

I snorted.

Eighteen years old and she's still calling me baby-ish names. Some things will never change, I guess.

The look on her face changed as I did this.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

I shook my head.

"Nothing. School was fine today."

"Oh, the look on your face gave the impression something was wrong. I'm glad that the day was fine for you."

Gave the impression that something was wrong? Come on, not you, too!

I took off my backpack and held it by the top strap at my side.

"Thanks. Um, I have to go study for finals. So, I'm going to be in my room until dinner time."

"Okay. Study hard, son."

I turned away from her.

"I will."

I walked down the hallway to my room and shut the door behind me after walking in. I sat my backpack down at my desk and sat down. I opened up one of my desk drawers and grabbed a single sheet of notebook paper, placing it on the desk in front of me. Then I grabbed a pencil from the cup of writing utensils that sat on my desk next to the lamp. I turned that on, too.

Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, I thought.

I wrote down a title at the top of the sheet of paper and stared at it.

My Other (Hypothetical) Feelings for Gwen

I began tapping the eraser end of my pencil against my cheek as I went deep into thought.

So, you think that you have other feelings for Gwen. God, just thinking that makes me cringe. If that really is true, then you have some options here. And really, almost none of them are good options.

I began writing, outlining every choice with a bullet point.

Choice #1: You can just ignore these "feelings". It is maybe the second worst option here, but everyone stays happy (apart from you). Gwen will never find out about these feelings and the rest of the family won't shun me for it.

Next bullet point.

Choice #2: You can outright tell Gwen about your "feelings". Just shoot your shot. This is probably the worst option here and for multiple reasons. Let's just say hypothetically that she accepts and returns your feelings. Then you and her have to keep your relationship a secret. And how long can you realistically do that? Now on the other hand, what if she doesn't accept your feelings? Then she'll most likely be disgusted with you and she'll probably tell the rest of the family about this and then… Well, I don't want to think about what would happen then.

I once gain started tapping the eraser on my pencil against my cheek. If ignoring my feelings doesn't work and if confessing doesn't work then maybe I should…

Option #3: Leave Bellwood, I started writing again. Scratch choices one and two, this is DEFINITELY the worst option. And that's because it could only help you and that isn't even a guarantee. If these "feelings" aren't real, then you should have no problem losing those feelings if you leave town for a little bit. But this hurts everyone else. What if Gwen thinks I left because of her and what if Mom and Dad think I left because I don't love them? And what if they think I'm—

I stopped right there. And I started to chuckle to myself as I picked up the sheet of paper and balled it up.

This whole thing is stupid. There's no point to writing all of this down because these feelings aren't real in the first place. After all, what kind of rational human being catches feelings for his cousin? I'm just in a phase because Gwen's been back in my life after being absent for many years.

I threw the balled up piece of paper into the nearby trash bin.

They'll just pass on their own after a while.

Author's Note:

* And that's it for this chapter! I hope you all enjoyed!

* Were there any moments that stood out to you in this chapter? What did you think of Ben taking offense to Gwen calling him "cute" because he thought she was joking? And any thoughts on him weighing his options?

* If you want to give feedback, please leave a review or send me a PM, either one will work.

* That's going to do it for me, though. Have a fantastic day and bye.

Review Responses

jasongd (Chapter 18): Glad to hear you're better now As always, a great chapter I'll be waiting for next chapter BWEN FOREVER

Thanks, Jason. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. Thanks for the review, as always.

Next Chapter: The following week at school, from a classmate's advice, Gwen decides to accept a date to the movies. When he continues to be plagued by taboo feelings, Ben makes an impulsive decision.