Chapter 15: As the Snow Melts, Once more…

Hikigaya POV - 10 minutes before-

"O-ouch-" I winced, as I felt my back meet the chair with a little too much impact. Given this was the first time I had more than one part of my body injured at a given moment, this reaction was expected. Slightly embarrassing, but expected.

"Ah, sorry!" Hoshino apologized. "The chair isn't the most comfortable, and usually we wouldn't have patients with multiple injuries on these chairs until later on," she paused, fiddling with something on one of the wheels, "but it should be fine for now."

"Thanks."

This is probably not going to go well. For crying out loud, Hachiman. Probably? Okay, most likely not going to go well. More like certainly-

"Um…are you feeling alright?"

I broke the state of mulled thinking, realizing I was giving her a reason to be concerned with my blank stare. "Er...yes, sorry I was busy thinking."

"Of course, you must have a lot on your mind. Thoughts and emotions," she paused, before letting out a soft giggle. "One of many features to being young and popular with the girls, I suppose." Not her learning from Kamegawa's ways and mannerisms!

Aside from the convoluted mess of emotions, the biggest mess is undeniably the upcoming conversation with Yukinoshita, as is the main source of doubt in myself to carry any sort of talk with her to begin with.

She certainly despises my existence–despises? Did you not learn a single thing from that deranged 'kidnapping'- .

That's the scariest part– I don't know what she's thinking of or feeling now. Without a reference to go off of, any logical response to what I assume is her current thought process is mere speculation, with an extremely high probability of catastrophe.

But…

In reality, being completely logical may not be an ideal approach…especially for someone who has been through what she had to endure.

Unfortunately, for all the skills I possess, the sentimental and emotional aspects are bottom-of-the-barrel, ranging from inconsiderate to disgustingly deplorable. Even if I manage to survive spewing these words out, her reaction to it will be the final death blow for sure.

However, if I truly want to get across the Yukinoshita this time, this path would be the one to take.

—Present Time—

"Y-yo, Yukinoshita." As I was wheeled into the room, I noticed the lights were dimmed and the large glass window open, giving the room a soft blue tone from the moonlight above.

Yukinoshita was sitting up in her bed, a plate of food at her bedside table, though from my angle it was difficult to see if she had started eating yet. Her hair was slightly disheveled, as if she had been sleeping just prior. Besides the several bandages on her arms and forehead, her skin still kept its light and clear complexion.

Her eyes widened as she acknowledged my existence – akin to seeing a ghost, I suppose. To be fair, I probably looked closer to a mummified Hachiman at this point.

"H–Hikigaya-kun…" At least she recognizes me in all these bandages, a decent starting point.

"Are you okay?" Great job, Hachiman. Brilliant first question to ask. You can ask how's the weather or what she had for breakfast while you're at it.

"I– I should be asking you the same question." Her eyes fixated on my bandaged figure, perhaps to ponder what predicament I was in to end up here as well.

"I've been better… but at least in one piece. I suppose the pain medications are working their magic for now."

"I see." She paused, looking like the initial shock of my presence was wearing off. "Thank goodness–" she managed before tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I…was starting to think I would never see you again–"

She wiped away the tears, taking a moment to compose herself before starting again.

"What happened, Hikigaya-kun? Where were you?" Her eyes widened as if something had registered in her mind. "Were you… is that why…I'm still…" The words stopped as she let out a wave of tears.

For the next several minutes, she cried, and I didn't dare to stop her.

As the tears subsided, her voice returned, albeit much quieter. "S-sorry…how….and what…happened?"

She deserved the truth, so I told her.

The disappearance, the arrangement with her sister. It took a while for some details of the story, a lot of awkward pauses…but the story was told.

We spent however many minutes or so in silence, as she processed all this information in her head. While it probably wasn't very long in reality, every second felt oppressively slow.

"Nee-san–" the anger in her voice flared for a second–

"-Aside from the obvious invasion of my privacy…" she faltered, "-I should be mad at you…but I can't." She looked down, now almost whispering. "I could never…."

"Not after everything you've done for me…" Those words stung not from what she said, but the pain in her voice.

"You probably think I'm such a pain, a girl that needs to be saved…" her lips started quivering. "I don't know why you, with your logic, would think it's worth saving me every time."

"I mean, look what ended up happening…" she pointed her hand in my direction.

"...because of me." Another tear rolled down her cheek glistening from the backdrop of the moonlight.

Seeing her suffering like this…

"Because–" I reflexively leaned forward, forgetting for a moment of my injuries until a wave of pain flooded my nervous system –"ach".

As I winced, her eyes widened a touch. "A-ah, are you okay? " she blurted, getting out of her bed and making her way over. She stopped a moment before speaking again. "I shouldn't…. how pathetic I am…"

"If you think so lowly of yourself, that puts me below the scum of this world." I looked her firmly in the eyes.

I cleared my voice once more. "Despite everything that's happened, I still find myself here."

"Thinking that the world didn't care about me was obviously flawed ….or rather…" I paused, " a convenient scapegoat."

"Before this year...other than Komachi, there wasn't a person in the world I would have gone through such lengths to save… especially if it would end up landing me in the hospital."

"That's no longer the case, even before I realized it," I continued, fumbling through the next set of words I wanted to say. "From the Service Club onwards, I started seeing the two-way street of 'care'...in particular…"

"...for someone who can be irritating, indecisive, and in her own head too much for her own good," I sighed. "To selfishly keep an eye on and support her is a twisted way only an idiot like myself could manage to do."

"Because…in that way…"

"I care about you…a-a lot more than I let on…" Absolutely cringe of me to say, but here it goes… "...it never made much sense, how the person whose personality and work ethic I used to despise…."

"...would end up becoming the one I cared about…the most."

She gasped and froze as if she were a deer in headlights. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks every second that passed….there definitely wasn't enough stamina for me to keep going like this.

"Even if you never told me to help you…or to save you one day…it's not like I could ignore you and your challenges…"

"You find happiness in your accomplishments, big and small…the Service Club and all…and when I see that you're happy…"

"T-that makes me…happy as well.." I could feel the thousands of souls collectively fall to their knees in cringe at the words coming out of my mouth.

Genuine words, nonetheless.

"A-and don't forget, it's not like this pain you think you're causing is one-sided– I'm sure I've caused way too many inconveniences in your life. So if–" I noticed a cool sensation on my hand, as teardrops fell from a crying Yukinoshita.

"Hi–Hikigaya-kun," she managed between sobs. "Sorry, these–aren't sad tears–" she moved over towards the back of the wheelchair, and before I knew it she held her arms lightly around my head. In any other situation, I would have feared her going for an assassin's maneuver–

"Hearing that–made my heart skip a beat, you know–" So bold, Yukinoshita….were my words really that powerful, or have the pain medications short-circuited her brain…

"I know my mental faculties haven't been in the right places recently, perhaps even less so at the moment–so please excuse my words and actions for the time being…"

I looked up to see her face bright red with emotion…. Too close! First the school infirmary now here!?…is this sort of environment supposed to cause these close encounters to occur?

Her eyes, still red from the amount of tears, reflected some of the moonlight, pretty…. dangerously close….

"A-hem–, pardon the intrusion," a familiar voice rang from the door behind us, "just letting you two know the medical teams will be making their rounds soon–" It was Nurse Hoshino, catching us in such a precarious situation ...how expected.

She paused, "Ah, sorry I must have interrupted something—I can come back in a few minutes to help bring you back to your room, Hikigaya-san." No way there was a hint of a smile in her voice.

After she closed the door, both of us shifted slightly, obviously more flustered than before.

"A couple of useless idiots in a hospital room, I fully expect tomorrow to be nothing but headaches–"

"A couple–hmm" she giggled. Already teasing me, huh? Didn't you say your mental faculties were off, and you come and respond with this witty-wordplay of yours…

This woman is going to be the end of my lowly existence.

At least if I have a heart attack I'm already in the hospital…

Yukinoshita POV

"T-that makes me…happy as well.."

I watched as his cheeks became a deeper shade of red, obviously showing his embarrassment of uttering those words.

He cares about me…the most.….he's happy when I'm happy…

Tears began flowing from my eyes once more, landing on his hand.

Happy tears.

I don't quite recall the next few minutes or so… but I strongly remembered that feeling….warmth of my cheeks burning, heartbeat reaching my throat,

The room, as cold and unwelcoming it was before, now felt like a warm cocoon, shielded from the rest of the world.

Happiness… or perhaps more than that. Elation? Excitement?

This feeling…something I was afraid to let out before…but it can be realized….

Love.

I love you…Hikigaya-kun.

I…truly….

"-Love you."

"Y-Y–"

Ah… did I say that out loud…..

A/N: 5 years. One could say I 'disappeared' (sorry that was horrible joke, let me perish real quick). I sincerely apologize for the extremely long hiatus…life has a way of pushing me towards and away from things. However, I do want to at least give this story the continuation it deserves. Up until this point, it has been a lot of heaviness that I suppose gave the story its drive…so for a bit of balance I'll sprinkle some HachiYuki fluff.

For this story, I am expecting chapters to be shorter, similar to this length – I also will try to avoid the 'wall of text' that can occur with long passages, to which I appreciate all your feedback so far.