It was silent in the clearing on Little Garden. Dymon D. Ciara was lying on the floor, barely conscious. Luffy was sipping tea with his new friend, Miss Golden Week. Mr. 3 was sitting on the sidelines, he was asleep on a sun chair. Usopp was still running around, he had somehow evaded getting caught by Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine for five minutes. Nami, Vivi, and Zoro were stuck on the wax pillar, they were fully covered in wax. The giants were there too.

Dymon D. Ciara (previously referred to as Diamond Tiara, changed due to recent revelations by Sanji) sluggishly got up while rubbing her right eye. It didn't work to get the stuff out, she kept it closed. "What happened? Is the battle over?"

"Yeah, we won," said Luffy. He sounded like a sage. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Uh, ok?" Ciara turned her head. Luffy was acting slightly off. She walked to the tea party. She found the moving, wax floor Mr. 3 made and walked around it. She rubbed the floor with her feet to find the blanket and sat with Luffy. She didn't know Miss Golden Week was there. "Can someone pass the tea?"

"Hold out your hand." Ciara did so, and someone placed a small plate with a steaming cup of tea on it.

"Any napkins?" One was given to her other hand. "Thank you." Ciara flung the cup towards her face, sending the piping hot tea into her right eye.

Chapter 11: The Worst Wedding Ever!

Dymon D. Ciara

I used the napkin to clear out my eye. It was easy with the tea. I could finally see the world around me.

A little girl was to my left, and Luffy was to my right. In front of me was a large wedding cake. There were even figures on it.

Wait a minute, those statues looked familiar. Zoro was doing an awesome pose, and the other two girls were beside him. It was clear to me what happened.

"Zoro is marrying Vivi and Nami," I said questioningly. It was a little hard to believe. I was sure he loved those swords more than women. It didn't make sense that he'd marry two at once. "Can't say I approve. Two women at once? I mean, just pick one." I only ever dated one person in my life. She was amazing.

Polygamy had to be the dumbest thing I helped make. Back when I just turned 20, I was trying to steal a prince's fortune while in disguise. He was trying to choose a wife in a series of parties. He was down to ten suitors. I made an offhand comment about him marrying all of them. One thing led to another and I ended up being a bridesmaid at the wedding.

That was a weird few months. I got the last laugh though, one of the brides fell for me which led to a series of arguments and then fights. Everyone but me was killed. I was able to easily steal all of their gold. It was 28 trillion berries of gold. I had to give it to the commoners because it would've sunk the ship. They called me a hero. A story started around based on me. They called me 'Marry Hood' because of my cloak and dress.

I didn't feel guilty about it. I may or may not have led that woman on. Either way, that marriage was doomed from the start. Who finds their wife at a party?

"Pthhh," Luffy spit out his tea into the girl's face. "What! They're getting married," he asked me.

"AHHH," the girl screamed. Holding her face, rocking back and forth on her back. "It burns so much!" She started crying.

"Oof," I said. "That could leave a mark." I then ignored her and turned to Luffy. "What's going on? Why were you acting so weird?"

Luffy had taken off his shirt. I had no idea what Nami was excited about. "I'm not sure. I just need to destroy the wax pillar." He ran to it.

An explosion came from the trees behind me. Karoo and Usopp flew by and hit Luffy, knocking them all down.

"Mr. 3, what are you doing," a familiar voice yelled. I looked back.

A man with a 3 for hair was asleep on a leisure chair. He was attached to a weird moving platform. I assumed he was Mr. 3.

Miss Valentine was coming from behind him. I looked at her, and she looked at me.

She was immediately covered in sweat. "I thought she was blind." She started shivering.

"You know. I just noticed your hat," I said with a smile. Miss Valentine's hat looked like a lemon. I stopped smiling. "I hate it."

She took it off and threw it away. "If you hate it, it's gone. You'll never see it again." She fake laughed. "Please don't hurt me."

I thought about it. I was too tired to try too hard. "I'll tell you what. Leave in ten seconds, and I might consider it." I looked her in the eye. "One." She tried to run.

"Don't go," Mr. 5 grabbed her arm. "If you run, Mr. 0 will go on the warpath. If he doesn't find you, he'll go after me."

"2, 3, 4"

"Who cares about you?! I'm the one in danger!" She tried to get free.

"5, 6, 7"

"We're partners. We have to look out for each other!"

"8," She screamed. "9," She resorted to biting, but it failed. "TEN!" I jerked my head forward to scare her. She limped, foaming at the mouth.

"Wha," Mr. 3 groggily sat up. "Did we win?"

"No," said Mr. 5, he put his partner down. "Somebody got in the way." He pointed at me.

"Her? She's a blind idiot!" Mr. 3 got up. "How did she stop you?"

"She beat us in a fight and threatened Miss Valentine. It scared her so much she passed out." He brought up a gun and pulled the hammer back.

"AHH," yelled the little girl. "Somebody help me!"

Mr. 3 gasped. "Miss Golden Week!" That was her name? He went to her side. "What happened to you?"

"They burned my face with tea. It was the girl with bandages," the burn victim responded. Crap, that's me.

Mr. 3 whispered something to her. "You," Mr. 3 was mad, exceptionally mad. I could feel the anger radiating off of him.

"Luffy, Usopp, can you guys back me up?" I walked to them while keeping my eyes on the two angry men.

"Of course," said Luffy. He cracked his knuckles. "I'll take the guy with weird hair."

"I'm with you too," said Usopp. He was riding Karoo. They were both a little singed from their fight, but they were fine. "A real warrior never backs down from a fight."

"We'll be fighting Mr. 5," I told him. I wanted a little extra time with Miss Valentine. "It might get a little bloody."

"R-r-really? Can I fight with Luffy?" Usopp was quivering with fear.

"Usopp," said Luffy. He was suddenly serious. "Rescue Nami and the others. We could do the fighting."

"Right." Usopp got off of Karoo, who started to get ready for his fight.

I was still tired. Standing was becoming a chore. Fighting Mr. 5 would be much harder than before. "Good luck with your fight." I put my hand up to Luffy.

He gave me a fist bump. "You too." He grinned.

I made eye contact with Mr. 5. I assumed he glared at me, the sunglasses made it unclear. His gun was still pointed at me. "Get away from the wax. You wouldn't want your friends caught in the blast, right?"

"What do you mean?"

He gritted his teeth. "What do you think is happening? Your friends are covered in wax up there." He pointed to the statues.

"So they aren't getting married?"

"Of course not. Why would anyone get married here?"

"Several reasons." I tried to come up with one. "Uh, the birds are freaking big." I couldn't stop thinking about birds. I was so hungry. "I had, let's just say an experience with one of them."

"That's not a reason to get married here." He waved his gun to the left. "Now get along, we'll be doing this nice and easy."

I put my hands up and followed his instructions. "You know this won't help you win. How are you going to beat the rest of us?" I didn't care, I just wanted to get him talking.

"The idea is simple. We sep..." I stopped listening to him. Their plan was terrible anyway. I simply had to buy time to do something I hadn't done in years.

Strategize.

First, I figured out his devil fruit power. He picked his nose and flicked it at me on Whiskey Peak. I was lucky to remember that in a sea of fog. It was easy to figure out that he could make stuff from his body explode. Boogers, blood, sweat, spit, and many other things I wasn't vulgar enough to mention, like hair. In theory, limbs, and organs, but I found it hard to believe he'd use those.

I stepped into the woods. I listened to his spiel for a bit. "We deserve to have the freedom..." He was onto something completely different. I disregarded it.

The next thing I did was see what to attack first. His gun most likely had bullets filled with his fluids. I would have to get it away from him. Then break his jaw. It would be hard to avoid getting spit on in short range. The last bit of the plan would be to either knock him out or just murder him. I didn't want to kill him, but definitely would if I had to.

"That's why I blew up that family of five, including the infant," Mr. 5 finished his speech. Woah, what the hell happened?

"Didn't take you for a monologist." It took me a full five minutes to do a 180 around the guy. He talked the entire time. "We doing this or what?"

"Yes. Do you have any last words?" How considerate.

"Just wa-" He pulled the trigger. A massive explosion sent me backward into a tree. I fell to the floor. I could barely move my arms and legs. I was a blink away from sleeping for a month. "You're a dick." Mr. 5 walked towards me. He pulled the hammer back on his gun and aimed at my face. "You want to blow a load in my face? You just had to ask. I would've said no but still, this is rude."

"You filthy degener-" I gathered all of my strength to grab the guy's gun. I turned it on him, stuffed it into his mouth, and pulled the trigger.

The gun itself exploded. Mr. 5 was launched away at record speeds. I was hit by most of the blast. It blew up my hand, sent me through the air, and harshly into another tree. I fell to the floor. "AGH," I yelled in anguish.

I slowly stood, pulling myself up with great difficulty. I had to lean on a tree to keep myself up. I had to check on the others. Get a nap, then get some alone time with Miss Valentine. I started on my way to the clearing.

Another explosion hit me in the leg. I fell on all fours. Another explosion on my face launched me into the tree. I was sure that was a concussion, I saw double for a few seconds. A hand grasped my neck and pulled me to see Mr. 5 in the eyes. He seemed a little banged up, but nothing an explosion would cause.

"How? You should be dead," I asked.

"I'm immune to explosions." Oh, duh. Mr. 5 slammed my head into the tree. He let me fall to the ground. He put his finger deep up his nose. "You cause me and my partner a lot of anguish. This next one's big. So big there'll be nothing left of you to mourn."

Guess I'll die. Should I remember another time my old captain was the worst human ever? I already did it once that day. I should be more creative when I die. Eh, it didn't matter anyway.

A giant bird peered around the tree behind Mr. 5. It looked just like those birds I murdered. It must've been the dad. That must've been why he was so large. He was looking at me with murder in his eyes. I knew just what to do.

"Oh, it's so great to see you, big bro." I put heavy emphasis on the 'big bro' part. "Please help me. You're my only family. It would be so awful if you abandoned me." The bird noticed my words, he targeted Mr. 5.

"We aren't family." Mr. 5 pulled a big blob out of his nose and rolled it into a ball. It was a quarter inch across. The bird noticed and eyed me.

I had to think fast. "No!" I feigned sadness. "Just because you're adopted doesn't mean we're not family! I will always love you no matter what!"

"What are you talking about," asked Mr. 5.

The bird had opened his beak over his head. "You ever heard the saying 'eye for an eye.' I think I just made a better definition."

"No. What does it me?" A drop of saliva landed on his coat. He saw it and turned around.

"Let's just say you aren't the only guy I pissed off."

"AH-" Mr. 5 screamed for barely any time before the bird bit down on his head. His body fell on my lap. He was dead as hell.

"Well, that's that." I looked at the bird. "Now what to do with you?" The bird got closer. "Uh, it was self-defense?" He didn't forgive me for murdering his family. He launched forward to bite my head off.

A black cloud covered my face. It tasted like fire. The bird limped and fell over. It was dead. I guessed that I was right about Mr. 5's powers. His head must've exploded as a protective reflex.

I laughed. "Kshshshsh." I coughed. "Ack!" I felt awful. Everything would've hurt if I wasn't so tired. For some strange reason, when I'm tired, I lose all feeling in my body.

I pushed the corpses off of me. I crawled away, avoiding the use of my hands, especially because one of them was gone. I didn't care about Miss Valentine anymore. I just needed my friends, and maybe Nami.

TO BE CONTINUED...