Chapter 58: Ready

"I feel congratulations are in order, Mr Masters."

Vlad paused with his spoon still half in his mouth, hints of strawberry on his tongue.

Bianco had bought a small cake they were sharing in his room, and so far they'd only talked about the weather – and, well, also the last incident with the escaped ghost a bit more than two weeks ago, but you know: not the actual reason for the director's visit.

Ziad, who had already finished his third of the strawberry cake and was carefully putting his cardboard plate on the cake's own, nodded:

"Yes, I think so too. You're leaving on Tuesday, aren't you?"

Vlad stared into his own empty plate and tried not to sound too... pessimistic.

"...Yeah. Two days, and I'm gone. If nothing goes wrong before that."

Ziad put a comforting hand on Vlad's shoulder.

"If you keep on thinking like that, something bad might happen and then you'll be stuck here longer. Be positive, look forward to the future, you'll be on the train home in two days."

if he believes in the future if he thinks it's going to be alright if he allows himself to it will all come crashing down

it happened before

Vlad finished his cake and sighed.

"Me being positive or negative won't change the facts, just how I look at them."

The nurse gave him a stern look as he took away Vlad's cardboard plate.

"There's a thing called the placebo effect, Vlad, and you might be playing right into it if you go on this way."

"...I guess."

Vlad forced himself to take a deep breath and relax in his chair, putting on a thin smile.

Trying.

Bianco smiled too – tired, so thin, but at ease, and perhaps, at this point, that was the best the old man could provide. God knew Vlad hadn't looked that happy when he'd been in such a state, even if that was far from the worst he'd been in the last three years.

"Regardless of your doubts, I'm happy for you, Mr Masters. When we brought you to this clinic... I truly believed our staff and knowledge were more suitable to your situation than a regular hospital, but I was also far from certain it would be enough to actually see you get better. There were times... I don't know how much of your recovery is our doing, certainly not all of it, but now I don't have to fear for your future anymore."

Vlad didn't have anything to say to that: maybe it wasn't quite right, maybe his future was still uncertain, but that wasn't what the director meant and the young man knew it.

this was about him dying

about not having a future at all

Bianco looked collected, of course, but at the same time, there had been a slight tremble to his voice, something in the way he wasn't looking directly at Vlad... This was the first time he'd seen the old man so visibly emotional – that he could remember, if anything.

The director had visited him a couple of times when Vlad had been truly out of it, so maybe something had happened during these days of fever and delirium, but he didn't know that.

just like Bianco didn't know that Vlad had in fact died

"I... Uh. Thanks for... I'll regret your library, you know?"

The old man smiled a bit wider and tilted his head for a moment.

"You could stay in contact, Mr Masters. You know that, should you need a job, my organization is of course willing to recruit you. You do have a background in ectology."

Staying so close to the clinic was not something Vlad could consider right away – and the clinic was within the headquarters, they both knew that.

"I... It might be a bit far from my parents, and right now..."

The silence lasted a bit longer than necessary, but eventually, Bianco seemed to understand and accept everything Vlad wasn't saying here: that he'd spent so long here, cut off from the world, stuck in his own skin and death, wasting away, waiting, that he had no money, very little choice in futures, that going back to his parents' wasn't only because of his father's declining health but also because three years and a half had gone by since the accident and he hadn't made any real progress with his life.

His almost-finished business degree was one thing – it was about the only one he could rely on.

He hadn't even finished his previous degree in ectology.

That didn't seem to be a big deal for the director, as he nodded and shelved the issue for a later date:

"Of course... However, do keep it in mind for the future. Also, your family is from Wisconsin, isn't it? We do have a branch in Madison."

Ziad hummed in acknowledgment, while Vlad's brow furrowed.

"...You do?"

It wasn't overly surprising that he hadn't known about that, it wasn't like Bianco's organization was public knowledge even if it was backed by the government, but at the same it, he felt this should have come up in conversation before now...

Bianco blinked at him, taken aback for a moment – maybe he thought they'd already discussed that, then, that would explain it – before a small laugh escaped his throat, the old man tugging – with his meager, paper-like wrists that always had Vlad feeling guilty for something he had no part in – at his white sleeves to get them back into place.

"Well, Mr Masters, who did you think pushed for the creation of the ectology course? The University of Wisconsin-Madison is one of the three universities that offer such a degree worldwide, and the first two are our doing. This one I encouraged myself, while my family back in Spain established the ectology course in the Universidad de Granada in 1979."

"...Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense..."

"Your two specialized professors have worked for me in the past, too. They are the ones who pleaded your case to the university, to allow you to continue with a correspondence course, even if in a different discipline. They do know that ghosts and ectology are real and potentially dangerous and didn't feel like you should be punished further than what had already happened to you."

Ziad locked eyes with his patient, then:

"Maybe you should drop by and thank them, when you get back home. You might even be able to reconnect with a few of your classmates through those professors, or maybe you could share your experience with the current students, what do you think?"

Vlad...

...felt entirely wrongfooted, unable to answer.

On one hand, he could never tell anyone everything that had happened to him after the accident, but on the other... There were different things he could share, like the research he and Maddie and Jack his fault "banzai!" a flash of green hurts burns never stops had done prior to him being blasted in the face with ectoplasm that, and maybe he could help others not make the same mistakes and endanger themselves the way he Jack had. It could let him have access to the latest research in ectology, too, because no scientist's work was an island, and if Vlad wanted to make progress with understanding himself, it would always be easier to rely on what other ectologists were already working on, rather than try and do everything himself.

Maybe the professors would be able to point him to Maddie and Jack too.

but what would he do what would he say what if they didn't care didn't want to see didn't even bother didn't

they hadn't visited once when he was in the hospital they hadn't sent one letter his parents had never heard from them they hadn't

What was truly important here, he thought, wasn't so much whether he'd do what Bianco and Ziad were proposing, but more... that he could. That he had several options, now.

That he might have choices, from two days on.

Maybe not that many, maybe not that great, but still. So much more than what he'd had for the last three years and a half.

Vlad smiled – and this time, it was mostly honest.

"I'll think about it, Ziad. I... Thank you for taking care of me all that time."

This long, long trek into nothingness might finally be coming to an end.