Chapter Twenty-Three: Joining of Hands
Oh, how Letty disliked Cressida Cowper. It was with a passion as well. Thank the Gods that Pen was quick on her feet. And much more clever than Cressida and her mother would or could ever be.
Dearest Gentle Reader,
If you thought that revealing my true identity would stifle me, guess again. I fear no reproach, as now you know I write to you from one of the most reputable houses in Mayfair. Certainly, no house is perfect. Though, there are some that puport to be.
Take, for example, Bridgerton house with its shining reputation. This author must question what really goes on behind closed doors. It is known that Lady Violet Bridgerton praises love matches above all else. But does love excuse why several of her children have had rather rushed engagements? Perhaps the family confuses love with lust?
And then there is the fact that there are so many Bridgerton children. Has one ever wondered why so many? This author certainly has. Perhaps because a few of them may be of dubious parentage.
Then there is the Baroness, Letitia Everly, and her failing marriage. Some must wonder if the reason for Baroness Everly's absences of late is due to the same condition that her mother carried.
Letty tossed the paper aside and picked up Penelope's edition.
Dearest Gentle Reader...
It seems someone has been impersonating me, and so I can no longer sit idly by. This author is not interested in judging what one does out of desperation. But gossip as I might, I always tell the truth, and I cannot tolerate a lie.
Cressida Cowper, this author is not. If she were me, surely she would have reported on the great debt Lord Blackburn refused to repay to Lord Samson this week. Or the fact that Mrs. Newham unceremoniously dismissed her maid yesterday for the simple act of asking for a day off. And I will not even mention the small cruelties Mr. Davidson's wife endures daily. Except, I suppose, I just did.
I say this all to remind you that this author, the true Lady Whistledown, is always paying attention. Something that I believe Miss Cowper should try to do a little more.
Yours Truly, Lady Whistledown
Letty wondered over to Featherington house later that day, finding Pen pacing.
"Wonderful issue," Letty smirked as she sat on Pen's bed. "Best one yet."
"Thank you," Pen smiled. "I have a request… If you are not up to it, I understand. I mean, it's only a week away."
"Your wedding dress?" Letty asked.
"Yes," Pen sighed.
"I've already been working on it just in case," Letty admitted. "I hope that is alright."
"Oh, I love you," Pen sighed, falling onto her bed beside Letty.
"I do hope you like it," Letty admitted. "Would you like to go see it now? We can grab your Mama?"
"Yes," Pen smiled, jumping up. "I will fetch Mama."
"I will meet you by the entrance," Letty smiled.
Letty met Pen and Portia by the front entrance, both smiling at Letty. Francesca and Violet were just walking out of their home when they saw Letty.
"Oh, Letty," Violet smiled as Letty, Pen, and Portia crossed the street. "We were hoping we could speak with you?"
"Well, let us all head to my home," Letty smiled, leading them all away. "I'm sure we have much the same things to discuss."
Penelope's dress was beautiful on her. It fit her form perfectly and accentuated her curves. She shined brighter than ever as she saw her reflection, letting out a small giggle as she did a turn.
"Beautiful," Violet gasped, smiling brightly.
"Yes," Portia had tears in her eyes, which Letty passed a handkerchief over to Portia to wipe away the tears before they could fall.
Francesca was also in need of a dress. She wanted something simple of course and Letty smiled as she listened. Letty had decided to hand sew musical notes into the dress for Francesca. It would still be simple, but it would fit the bride-to-be's personality better.
The week flew by and Letty was sitting beside Anthony and Kate, Violet on her other side. Colin gave his family a bright smile as he stood tall at the front, waiting. Flower girls dropped petals down the aisle and then Pen and her mother were presented. Pen walked down the aisle, her mother at her side. She was nervous as she stared at the large crowd before her eyes found Colin and her smile shined, her moving forward and her mother reminding her to pace herself. Letty had a few stray tears running down her cheeks as they were allowed to be seated.
It was beautiful, even if the flowers did irritate Letty's eyes and nose. Pen was a vision and Colin was an absolute mess of emotions. Letty stayed seated as she applauded, dizziness trying to take over but Letty refused to allow it on such a happy occasion. She would not miss this or ruin anything for her family.
Letty found a place to sit at the breakfast quickly, letting out a slow breath as she did so. She accepted the water brought to her and leaned back in her chair. Her stomach had only just started growing and the dress she wore did not show off the small bump that she currently sported while standing. Whilst sitting though, the dress hugged her a bit more and a few people had noticed.
Letty tried not to let the staring get to her. She simply placed a hand on her stomach and ignored those around her. Lady Danbury was having no such thing, though, as she took the seat beside Letty.
"I remember… carrying my first son. He was a handful," Lady Danbury informed her.
"Well, he must be a boy," Letty sighed, staring down at her stomach and realizing this was the first time that she'd actually touched where her child rest inside of her. "He gives me all sorts of troubles."
"And why is your husband not waiting on you hand and foot?" Lady Danbury questioned.
"He is busy with the family," Letty shrugged.
"I do not like a lie," Lady Danbury reminded her.
"Well, I am just assuming," Letty admitted. "I have not seen much of him since the beginning of our marriage to know."
"I am… sorry," Lady Danbury told her with a frown.
"You have no reason to be sorry," Letty assured her, taking Lady Danbury's hand quickly. "All will be well in time."
"Her majesty, the Queen!" a footman announced and Letty turned, staring as the Queen swept into the room, disrupting the wedding breakfast.
"Lady Featherington," the Queen acknowledged. "Everyone who is not a Bridgerton may go!"
The room cleared out quickly and Letty got to her feet, joining the family, Benedict moving to her side quickly. Lady Danbury stayed back as well, sticking close and waiting.
"Someone in this room has something to hide and I shall not leave until they come forward and reveal themselves," the Queen stated. "The longer you delay, the greater my irritation. Step forward. Confess."
Francesca shocked Letty as she stepped forward.
"It is I. I bear the secret."
"You?" the queen questioned.
"Yes. I am engaged to Lord Kilmartin. I have been humbled by Your Majesty's interest in my prospects, perhaps so much that I have not been bold enough in declaring myself. But I love Lord Kilmartin. And I plan to marry him. With… your majesty's blessing of course."
Francesca moved back to her mother's side quickly.
"That is no great mystery, Miss Francesca. Your romantic sensibilities have been obvious for some time. You do not need my blessing to marry," the Queen assured her. "But that is not why I am here. I speak of Lady Whistledown. I know she is in this room. I was close last year…" the queen's eyes rested on Letty. "Tantalizingly so… and now, only when the Cowper girl published lies about this very family, suddenly Whistledown rushes to publish. That is what roused her from her hiding place. And why? Clearly, she is one of you."
"Your Majesty, I assure you if such a thing were happening in my home, I would know of it, and I would have put a stop to it," Anthony stated.
"Very well," the Queen sighed. "Hold your tongue for another night. I shall loosen it soon enough."
The Queen swept out of the room and they all exchanged looks. Pen went straight to Letty, trying hard to remain calm.
"It's alright," Letty whispered to her. "Deep breathes."
"I've got you," Colin assured Penelope, pulling her into his arms. "We will think of something."
"We always do," Letty reminded her.
"You have all of us," Anthony reminded Pen. "We are family."
Colin took Pen home and Letty paced back and forth in her office, Anthony, Kate, Benedict, Daphne, Simon, and Eloise joining her. They were all tossing out ideas, none of which were good.
"You should be sitting," Kate finally spoke up.
"She should be resting away from stress," Benedict corrected but Letty rolled her eyes, continuing her pacing.
"What did the two of you do the last time that the Queen got close to discovering who Whistledown was?" Anthony asked.
"The Queen thought I was Whistledown and Eloise was helping me. Pen had to ruin me and nearly ruin Eloise to throw off the scent," Letty sighed, finally sitting down. "None of you have done anything scandalous as of late, no?"
"If we had, you would have seen it," Kate told her.
"What does that mean?" Eloise asked.
"Nothing," Kate, Anthony, Simon, Daphne and Letty said together as Benedict tried not to laugh.
"Well… what do we do?" Simon asked.
"Run away. Change our names. Never come back here again," Letty sighed. "Or we do nothing and wait for everything to blow over."
"Won't doing nothing make things worse?" Daphne asked.
"Well, I could have pointed out to the Queen that Whistledown came out a minute after Cressida's paper and that Whistledown could not have known that Cressida was going to insult any of us but I don't think my insight would have been appreciated at the time," Letty told them, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her head tilted back. "Gods, I need a drink."
"Lemonade?" Anthony asked.
"Water?" Daphne smirked.
"Whiskey," Letty corrected with a sigh, lowering her hand so it rested on her stomach. "It'll have to wait, though."
"Oh! Benedict! Why are you being an ass?" Daphne asked and Simon sputtered a laugh at his wife's bluntness.
"What? I—"
"Do not 'what' me. You well know what I am speaking of. You are being an ass. Apologize to Letty. Now."
"I do not want an apology forced by his sister," Letty told Daphne.
"How about beaten out of him by his brother?" Anthony asked.
"If you harm my husband, I will hang you in my sunroom," Letty warned Anthony.
"I believe you," Anthony nodded, eyes wide.
"May I harm him?" Kate asked.
"Be my guest," Letty smirked as Benedict stared around the room in shock.
"How did this get turned on me?" Benedict asked ,confused and shocked.
"Your pregnant wife is stressed and you are standing on the opposite end of the room," Simon stage whispered to him.
"Right," Benedict sighed, stepping forward as if he wished to go to Letty's side.
Letty debated shooting him a glare to keep him in his place, but he chose to stay where he was all on his own. Letty looked up, seeing him struggle with his own actions.
"Can you all give us a moment?" Letty asked the room, voice soft.
"We should be heading home," Kate decided and Anthony helped her to her feet. "Goodnight all."
"Us as well," Simon nodded, him and Daphne heading out.
"I should… yes," Eloise nodded, hurrying out of the room.
Benedict and Letty watched them go before Benedict turned his attention to Letty. She stared at him blankly, not sure what to say if she were being honest. She was hurt by his actions, by his words. He would act like a doting husband one moment and then hate her the very next. She should have been used to his actions before marriage but it still hurt knowing that it continued now, especially with her being pregnant with his child and having so many difficulties.
Benedict saved her from finding any words though, finally speaking.
"I… I am sorry," he told her. "I've been selfish and short sighted. You are carrying our child and I should have been by your side. I just thought… I thought you wouldn't wish to see me."
Letty just continued staring at him and he continued.
"I should have… should have given you the chance to explain last season. Instead, I automatically believed in the worst in you. I left you alone for so long and then, when I showed back up, we were intimate and I left again. I have done nothing to earn your forgiveness and I do not deserve it. I will ask for it, though. You deserve better than me for a husband."
Letty still could think of no words. She took a deep breath and stood, falling right back into her chair. Benedict rushed forward, kneeling beside her.
"Are you alright? What happened?"
"Dizzy," she told him. "I need to lay down."
Benedict scooped her into his arms and carried her to her room, setting her onto the bed carefully. He pulled her shoes off and Letty sighed. Benedict stood over her, not sure what to do.
"I will be fine in the morning," she assured him.
"Oh," he nodded, still not moving.
Letty decided to take pity on him.
"Would you like to stay here tonight? We can talk in the morning?" she asked.
"I would… like that very much," he nodded. "Would you like me to choose a room or…"
"You can stay in here," she told him. "Bed is much too large for just me."
Benedict nodded and kicked off his shoes. He undressed down to his underthings and Letty didn't mind the view. She looked down at her dress, not exactly thrilled at the idea of sleeping in it.
"Would you like me to undress you?" he asked.
Letty chewed her lip for a moment before nodding and sitting up. Benedict carefully helped her out of her dress and corset. Letty let out a breath of relief at the feeling of being freed from the thing. She would have to think of something else to wear under her dresses instead. The corset was just far too constricting. Benedict helped Letty into her nightdress and she laid back down. Benedict went to the other side of the bed, crawling under the covers with her.
They laid facing the ceiling, neither touching or speaking as they just lay there. Letty had never felt so awkward in her entire life than in that moment. She let out a sigh and Benedict turned his head towards her. Letty turned her head as well, facing him.
"This is the strangest I have ever felt with you," she admitted.
"I think it's the setting," he told her.
"You think where we are laying is the issue?" Letty asked.
"I do," he nodded.
"What would you propose?" she asked.
"Well, we can't lay in the backyard in our sleepwear," he told her.
"I mean, we could. Pen could put it in Whistledown and everything," Letty joked and Benedict chuckled.
"I believe the next best option would be your sunroom."
"I'm not sure how comfortable the loungers are," she told him.
Benedict gave her a crooked smile and jumped out of the bed. He picked Letty back up, carrying her to the sunroom and setting Letty down.
"I shall be back," he promised.
Benedict returned to the sunroom dragging a mattress with him. Letty laughed as she watched him struggle.
"Are you in need of assistance?" Letty questioned.
"Absolutely not," he shook his head, setting the mattress by the window before running out again to gather blankets and pillows.
Once the bed was… slightly made, Benedict picked Letty up again, placing her on the mattress. She scooted closer to the window and Benedict laid beside her, blanket pulled over the two of them. He cuddled up to her back, arms wrapped around her as they both looked out at the lawn and sky.
It was the best sleep either of them had gotten since the week of their wedding.