This chapter is rated M for reasons that will be very clear.

They walked in silence for what felt like miles, but Bucky kept seeing Alison look up at him or squeeze his hand like he was going to vanish into thin air. Well you did. For five years. She hasn't looked at you or held your hand for five years. They headed into the woods and Alison takes a deep breath.

"I don't know where to start," said Alison and Bucky nodded. "You can ask me anything you want,"said Alison. Who were you talking too? No...it can wait. Bucky saw that was was wearing her wedding ring and that there were two chains around her neck the rest of the necklace disappears into her jacket. He took her ring hand and squeezed it lightly. He has questions about the other ring since he never saw her wear any other jewelry.

"You weren't just wearing this to keep creeps at bay?" asked Bucky and Alison shook her head.

"No...I couldn't open myself up like that again...not to anyone," said Alison. She unbuttoned her jacket slightly and took off the chain that held his wedding ring and dog tags and puts it on him. "Besides like anyone would love me the way you did," said Alison.

"It's Do," said Bucky touching her face and Alison took a shaky breath.

"Sam was right. It doesn't feel like five years has gone by," said Bucky. The dreams or whatever they were starting to fade in his mind. It really does feel like he had just seen her off the Shuri's lab before meeting up with Steve and the others. Alison looks up a him for a moment before she starts sobbing. She stands on tip toes so she can bury her face in space between his neck and shoulder.

"Please don't cry...I'm right here..." said Bucky resting his head on top of hers and stroking her hair that has come loose. She is sobbing so hard he isn't sure how she's breathing.

There had been nights in Wakanda where he had woken up in cold sweat after nightmares that Alison had died at Tony's hands or that Hydra had made him kill her. She would take his hand and place it over her heart so he could feel it's beat. I'm right here...shush...I'm safe...shush...Bucky took her hand and placed it over his own heart so she feel it and pulled her close to him. She really lost you. How do you come back from really living the thing you feared the most?

"I'm right here...I'm right here," whispered Bucky. Alison is shaking and she looks up at him and he can see how beyond lost and hurt she. Yes she had gotten him and the others back, but at what cost? He knows Tony died and before he had found Alison in the medic tent he and Clint had spoken and Clint had told him about Natasha's passing to get the Stone. There is someone else lost to her and it Bucky mentally goes through a lists of people and realizes that Clint had mentioned that Robert had also helped them get the Stones back. Bucky hadn't seen him in the tent. Could he have been on the battlefield and she saw him? She forgave him after all...they got close. I'm glad you had him at least for a little bit in your life.

"Your dad?" prompts Bucky and Alison shakes her head and nods her head back at the remains of the compound.

"Bruce said they were going to send people in to recover the bodies...I really don't know where we landed...I couldn't save him," whispered Alison and Bucky makes her look at him.

"I know you and I know that if you could have saved him you have...even if it meant risking your own life," said Bucky. Alison puts her head on his chest over his heart and Bucky goes back to stroking her hair. I'm so sorry sweetheart.

"I'm so tired of thinking James," whispered Alison.

Before Bucky can say anything Alison has grabbed the front of his coat in one hand and pulls him in for a kiss. Her other hand is on the back of his head and tangled in his hair. The kiss is so hard and frantic that Bucky is floored by the heat of it and it takes him a second to find the thought to kiss her back. He's reminded of Spain and the first time they had been together after Steve had given her his blood and they had been apart for months. Alison pulls him close to her and moves her body against him in such a way he feels that they should be laying down and not standing up. The hand on his jacket is trying to fight with the snaps and he's pretty sure that she is this close to ripping it off him. Bucky takes the hand that is fighting with his clothing and pulls out of the kiss. They are both shaking and Alison looks ready to beg.

"Please...I don't wanna think...there hasn't been anyone since you...not since before it happened," said Alison and Bucky recalls the last time they were together in private. She was on her knees for you. You were in her mouth and she swallowed every part of you. You took her bed and took her body the way you liked it...on her back, her legs around your waist...her hands all over you until you held her down because the more she touched you the closer you were to finishing and you just wanted be inside her for hours. Bucky mouth goes dry at the memory Alison takes the moment to grab his waistband and pull him deeper into the woods, Alison makes sure that his hips press against her and Bucky is pretty sure that she can feel his erection through the thick pants he is wearing.

"I'm not looking for anything sweet or gentle or romantic right now...I just want to not think," pleads Alison. She pulls him in for another kiss and Bucky can feel her hands unfastening his pants and pushing them and his boxers down his hips. Her fingers dig into his ass and the moan she lets out finally snaps him in action. Bucky reaches down and makes quick work of the snaps on her jacket and pulls it off her. He pulls off her undershirt and sports bar in one smooth motion before fixing his mouth on her breasts.

"Yes...yes...James," moans Alison. Bucky feels her hands leave his ass and start undoing her own pants and pulling them down. Bucky grabs the back of her thighs and lifts her up. Her back hits a tree behind her and Bucky grips her ass hard. Between his grip and the tree she is going to be bruised and scratched, but she had clearly told him she didn't want sweet or gentle. After five years apart, losing people she loved and nearly dying who was he to tell her no. Bucky grips his member which is beyond hard and runs it against her opening and groans at the feel of her.

"I didn't even have to touch you," breaths Bucky teasing her entrance with his member.

"Just...just...fucking take me," spits Alison and Bucky thrusts hard into her wanting body and the cry of pleasure she lets out makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. She digs her nails into his shoulders as their bodies find their rhythm. I can't have been gone five years or maybe our bodies never forgot, thought Bucky kissing her face and starting a path down her neck to her breasts. He notices the blue star tattoo on her left shoulder and runs a hand over it. What else has changed about you since I've been gone? Certainly not the feel of you. Bucky can feel her whole body tensing and tightening around him and she looks him in the eyes as she climaxes.

"Fuck," hisses Bucky and he bites the spot between her neck and shoulder in an attempt to keep his own release back for a little longer. The moan Alison lets out is soft and pleased, like a cat purring. Bucky's grip on loosens on Alison's backside and he takes his time sliding in and out of her. She's almost limp in his arms and the look she's giving him is no longer haunted and hurting. It's one of longing and need.

"I missed you," whispered Alison and she pushes her body to meet his thrust. "I never stopped missing you." The kiss she pulls him into is soft and slow and lingering, it drives him over the edge and he finishes with a groan. I think...I think I missed you too.

…...

They manage to get dressed again in the semi darkness and Bucky sits down by the tree and motions for her to sit next to him. A part of her knows they should go back and start helping with the clean up and check in, but she just wants a few more moments alone with her husband. I know it's selfish, but I just wanna be alone and have a little bit of peace before we have to dig into everything. Alison sits down next to him and Bucky gives a small smirk.

"You got tree bark and leaves in your hair," said Bucky and starts trying to brush the bits out. Alison puts her head on his shoulder and some part of keeps waiting to wake up. Why wouldn't this be a dream? Well if it was a dream your dad, Natasha and Tony would be here. The stars are stating to come out and Bucky looks up at them.

"It's weird to have the stars in the right places again," said Bucky and Alison shakes her head. The first time they were out after dark in Wakanda and had tried to look at stars it really hit them both how far from home they were. Bucky had gotten use to being able to find constellations in the Northern Hemisphere, now they were in the Southern Hemisphere and it was hard to pick out what the constellations should be. It was just one more thing they had to learn together.

"They were just different," said Alison. She feels the Vibranium fingers intertwine with hers and Alison sighs deeply. She never thought she would feel that touch again and it was almost surreal.

"Have you been living here...at headquarters?" asked Bucky.

"In Brooklyn with Steve...and my dad...and..." started Alison and she stammers. She feels Bucky's fingers tense in hers and he makes her look at him. The look in his eyes is soft and clearly he is bracing himself for some form of hurt. Oh it's going to hurt, but not how you think.

"Whoever you were talking to back at the tent," said Bucky softly and Alison nods.

"Actually...it was the...the thing I was stuck on in Wakanda," said Alison and Bucky looks confused. "I...wasn't sure how to tell you that...the odds were really slim and they clearly didn't take your healing factor into consideration when they did it and...we...we have...a daughter," said Alison. She feels his Vibranium fingers tense and his grip almost hurts.

"James..." asks Alison and he just looks beyond confused.

"They...they...Hydra sterilized me..." whispered Bucky.

"They messed up...I mean...if you...if you need to be sure...we probably need to get one anyway to have your name on the birth certificate..."started Alison and Bucky cut her off.

"One what?" asked Bucky.

"A DNA test," said Alison and it hurts to say. If this is what he needs for peace of mind, I'll do it. It still stings a bit.

"Do you have a picture of her?" asked Bucky and it took everything in Alison to not roll her eyes at him. She reached into her med bag and pulled out her cell phone. The missed call log was getting big. Her coworkers, some of the moms she had met at Rebecca's school, numbers she wasn't sure about. Please be Renee or Sophia...Franklin...I missed you all so much.

Alison found one of her and Rebecca at the Bluey concert and handed Bucky the phone. Bucky studied the picture and he swallowed hard. She could see almost every emotion cross his face. He was confused, shocked, hurt, sad and finally something like joy crossed his face.

"She smiles like you...the one side of her mouth goes up a little higher...she looks like Rebecca. She's a god damn carbon copy...you would have to blind to not see it," said Bucky softly

"That's her name...Rebecca...Rebecca Sami Barnes. I legally couldn't take your name, but I was able to give her your name," said Alison. Bucky looks up at her and Alison wonders if he's even aware that he's crying. Alison honestly can't tell if it's a happy cry, one of heartbreak or maybe both.

"If you had told me...I never would have left your side. Not for a second...why didn't you tell me?" asked Bucky.

"I only knew for a week...I...was scared. In all the studies I read about the Serum no one ever talked about the idea of what could be passed on genetically. I was scared about what being pregnant and a watered down version of a Super Solider was going to be like. I was going to tell you the second you came back. It seems so stupid now," said Alison. Bucky handed her the phone back and pulled Alison in for a hug.

"I would have been scared too," whispered Bucky.

…...

It was clear they had a lot more to talk about however the comm in his pocket went off and so did Alison's cell phone showing it was a call from Steve.

"We're being called in," said Alison and Bucky is having the same feeling he had right before the attack happened. I just want some peace. I gave up almost my whole life...can we have more than an hour? I...I dreamed of the both of them. Whatever the hell I saw while I was gone...it doesn't make sense and maybe it never will. I just want to go home.

"I know we still have a lot to talk about," said Alison.

"It always feels like we do," said Bucky and Alison shakes her head. "To be fair if we weren't constantly dealing with Hydra, aliens and whatever random shit the universe felt the need to throw at us maybe we be able to a slightly normal couple for more than five minutes," said Bucky standing up. He reaches down to help Alison up. She takes his hand and they start heading back to what had been the compound.

Bucky can't help but wonder if they hadn't been dealing with the stuff around her dad and trying to arrange his own case she wouldn't have waited that week. It hurt a little, but on the other hand Bucky knew he couldn't fault Alison for keeping one secret to herself when he still had a couple in his closet.

Alison leans into him and her grip on his right hand gets tighter the closer they get to compound. Search lights flood the area and there are some helicarriers trying to move some of the larger chunks of what's left of the building. You really might be a cat they way you keep going through lives, thought Bucky. Bucky felt Alison stiffen and he watched her gaze follow two people carrying a body bag and placing it on a gurney.

"Guys" called Bruce coming towards them and he looked beyond grim. "We...they found your dad," said Bruce and Bucky wrapped his arm tightly around and Alison took a deep breath.

"Where is he?" asked Alison softly her eyes following the gurney to a van. Bruce carefully put his non hurt hand on her arm to get her attention.

"They're taking all the bodies to Mercy General back in the city, " said Bruce and Alison nodded before looking around.

"Should we start walking...I don't know where my car is," said Alison somewhere between a laugh and cry. Bucky rubbed her back and she leaned against him. Bruce pointed over to where a portal was a few yards away.

"Cap wanted to talk some things over with everyone in the morning. He said we could stay at your place...well not in your apartment...in the building...with lots of space. Strange set up it to take you right outside the building. He said we all needed some rest, said Bruce and he picked a leaf out of Alison's hair with a sad smile before walking towards another set of portals.

"Come on," said Bucky softly and he gave her a gentle nudged her towards the portal. They walked through and Bucky realized they were in Brooklyn again. The last time he had been in Brooklyn was right before he and Alison had been kidnapped by Hydra. I never thought I would be here again. It was beyond loud and Bucky actually winced at how loud it sounded. I was just in a battle you think I would be used to noise.

It wasn't the gunshots, explosions, and the screams of pain and fear he was used to. It was car horns, voices screaming in joy and singing. Well there was an explosion, but it was fireworks. He could see up the block that some sort of dance party was happening in the street.

"They found their people," said Alison and there was a small smile on her face. "It still hurts...what we had to lose, but look at them," said Alison. Bucky looked to where her gaze was and there was a man just hugging an older man and a little boy. They seemed confused, but the man just kept hugging them and there was such a look of longing and joy in his face.

"You know I thought Strange was going to have some of sort of cloaking magic, but clearly this is the least weird thing people have seen today" said Steve coming over to them. Steve bent down and hugged Alison.

"I'm sorry," whispered Steve and Alison nodded before stepping away and looking between him and Steve.

"Sorry I stole him for a bit," said Alison and Steve shook his head.

"Not the first time he's ditched me for a pretty girl," said Steve and he pulls a bit of tree bark out of Alison's hair and shakes his head and Alison gave him a careless shrug. Steve looked at Bucky and Bucky had a flash of how Steve had looked at him after saving him from the Hydra factory. Like you thought you were never going to see me again.

"Punk," said Steve.

"Jerk," said Bucky and Steve pulled him in a hug. There was so much Bucky wanted to say and it was caught in his chest.

"I don't have anything for him to wear. Do you have anything he can change into?" asked Alison

"I think I can find something," said Steve with a small grin. They follow behind Steve and get into the elevator. Alison looks up at him and gives his hand a small squeeze before letting it go. She stops the elevator on the sixth floor and gets out.

"I need to pick up the apartment really quick. He can use your shower too," said Alison and before either one of them could reply the door closes and Steve shakes his head again.

"Clearly she was trying to find a graceful way to give us our space. That apartment is clean...a little lived in, but clean," said Steve.

"Our moms would have liked her," said Bucky. They get off on Steve's floor and Bucky has that old dream sense that he has been here before even though it wasn't possible. Steve let him and in a Bucky sighed. "It reminds a little of the old apartment."

"Yeah...SHIELD thought it would help me adjust to well...everything," said Steve.

"Did it work?" asked Bucky.

"The smells were wrong," said Steve and Bucky had to agree. Everything smelled different when he first came back to Brooklyn after escaping. Steve pulled out some clothes and handed them to him. "Bathroom is down the hall. I have extra razors if you wanna shave," teased Steve.

"I'm not kissing you,"said Bucky going into the bathroom. He showered quickly. It did feel a little odd to have indoor plumbing and hot water on demand again. He changed into the clothes Steve gave him, the pants were too long he had to snitch the sweats in a lot,but they would do for now. He headed back out and Steve had poured two whiskeys and Bucky smiled a bit and sat down. Even though he couldn't get drunk anymore, he still enjoyed the slight burn of a good whiskey.

"Thank you," said Bucky and Steve took a sip of his own whiskey and looked at Bucky.

"I just stepped in once and awhile. Robert helped a lot...she did a lot of it on her own. They're tough girls...I almost pity you," said Steve. Steve got up and handed Bucky a picture. It was clearly taken while Alison was still in hospital after having the baby. She looked pale and tired, but proud as she held Rebecca. Bucky swallowed hard and tried to shake the dream image he had of Alison having the baby while Steve held her hand.

"It's going to take me a bit to get use to the fact her name is Rebecca," said Bucky and Steve nodded.

"I almost started calling her Becca Bee," said Steve. Bucky took a gulp of his whiskey and the burn of it almost takes the sting out of everything else. He knew they had done everything they could do five years ago against something they couldn't have possibly imagined and well he was here now which was a drastic improvement. Still it hurt to realize that he had missed five years of their lives together. I missed...a lot.

"I'll never be able to deny her...she looks just like Becca and she got the Barnes eyes. It's clearly a dominate trait," said Bucky.

"We tried sooner to get the Stones back...time wasn't on our side. If we could have...you...you and the others would have been home much sooner," said Steve.

"I know...believe me I know...I just need you know that I'm grateful that you looked after them," said Bucky.

"You would have done the same for me," said Steve. They finished their drinks and Steve studied him. "You should...you should go home," said Steve and Bucky scoffed slightly.

"You never got to see my farm or goats," said Bucky and Steve scoffed too.

"Go home," said Steve firmly. Bucky took the elevator back down and made his way down the hall to the apartment. The door was unlocked so he let himself in silently. He could hear Alison fussing around in the kitchen. Bucky opened the first bedroom door and this was clearly Robert's room and he shut the door. He knew that door was going to need to stay shut for a while. The next room stopped Bucky in his tracks, this was Rebecca's room. There was a round rainbow rug in the center where a small white table and chairs had coloring books and crayons on it. Bucky went in to study the books on the shelf and smiled to see the Harry Potter books on the shelf. They looked to be the set Alison had gifted him after they had settled in Avengers Compound. He also noticed some of the books had been on Alison's bookshelf when she had lived with her grandfather. There were other titles he didn't recognize, but clearly they were well loved.

There were more toys than he thought possible for one kid, than again he, Steve and Becky hadn't had a lot of toys growing up. There were several bins-one for blocks, one for dolls and their clothes, one that held plastic food and dishes and another bin had more coloring books, blank paper and art supplies. There was a bin filled with stuffed animals. There was a small bed made up with dark blue blanket that had stars on it. There were star stickers on the ceiling and other stickers on the wall nearest the bed. Bucky sat down on the bed and wondered if this is where Alison sat when it was time for bed. He looked over to the night stand and there was a book called Dragons Love Tacos and Bucky out a small laugh. There was also a small framed picture of Rebecca and another girl that had light red hair and big glasses.

"That's Chloe," said Alison standing in the doorway. She was wearing a pair of black leggings and her old NYU hoodie. Her hair was still slightly damp and Bucky notices it is cut up to shoulders. Bucky remembers it being near the middle of her back when they had parted in Wakanda. Bucky is stuck by how young and old Alison looks at the same time. She was 32 even I left...she's close to 37 now. There are faint circles under her eyes, but the way she looks at him still pulls at him. Bucky looked around the room and gave a small smile.

"This is really nice...I like the rug," said Bucky.

"She picked it out last year when we got the big girl bed," said Alison and she pointed towards the kitchen. "I made us some dinner if you're hungry."

"Starving," said Bucky. He follows her down the hall and into the kitchen. Alison has warmed them up some lasagna and was pulling garlic bread out of the oven. Bucky looks around the kitchen and sees drawings put on the fridge and a calendar marked up dates and Bucky is reminded of her calendar back at the compound.

"Is that a horse?" asked Bucky looking at one of the drawings on the fridge and Alison laughs.

"That's supposed to be Bailey," said Alison. She sits down and they eat in silence and it's a mix of the comfortable silence they had come to have in Wakanda and awkward silence that reminds him of when they were trying to bridge the gap after he had left.

"Where is she?" asked Bucky and Alison sips her water.

"Foggy and Marci are looking after her...we've become friends over the last few years. They were the only people I felt alright looking after her. Well...Chloe's mom...Bria is really nice, but I wasn't sure how to really explain all the Avenger stuff to her...our story kind of fell off the radar after a billion folks disappeared," said Alison.

"Think it might come back up?" asked Bucky and Alison shrugged.

"I mean we did just help billions of people come back. Foggy said he and Matt had almost everything ready to go for your defense...if we really need it," said Alison and she pokes at her food. "I'm going to go in the morning and take care of my dad and...than I'm going to sit Rebecca down and try to explain all of this. It's going to be a lot for her for her to take in. Could you give me one more day? Just one more before you meet her?" asked Alison and Bucky reaches over and takes her hand.

"I'm scared to meet her too. What does she know about me?" asked Bucky.

"That you and Steve were best friends and fought during the war. That she was named after your little sister. That you liked dancing, science stuff and fantasy stories She sort of knows in a round about way that you were taken by some bad people, they made you forget who you were and that one day Steve and I helped you remember who you were and are," said Alison.

"Only the good stuff," said Bucky.

"Yeah," said Alison softly and he squeezes her hand. There is so much Bucky knows they'll never get back. She'll never be a baby again. I missed seeing her come into this world. I should have been here to help you. I know Steve and Robert took care of you, but it should have been me. We should have been together on this.

"I wanna know everything," said Bucky and Alison nods.

"It's a lot," said Alison. Bucky gets up from the table and kneels down by Alison before pulling her into a hug.

"We have time," said Bucky.