Chapter 8: How to charm a maniac
On the first glance everything in this inn seemed to suck. From the taste of the beer to the bread spiked with stones as a result of impure procession of flour. But at least the furniture was acceptable as it seemed sturdier than anything Izaya had seen in Shinjuku.
Moving the chair to sit down properly took much more of an effort than he had anticipated- considering most wood patterned seats were either made from plastic or chipwood it was a different sensation to touch actual handicraft work.
With a hint of amusement Izaya figured that these chairs and tables would be worth a fortune for certain collectors in the vintage section.
But right now they were nothing but a sturdy accommodation.
Gesturing to the third chair at the table, Izaya signed for the maniac to sit down.
The drunk guy from earlier was still resting in his meal, not even stirring slightly at their approach.
"Owner, would you bring us a warm meal?" Izaya called curtly, and the mighty woman shoved her way past a few drunktards.
"The payment?" She asked quietly, but far from rude, and Izaya nodded towards the staircase.
"In my room, you may take what you see fitting." A very pleased expression crossed her face and she nodded. She was probably pretty glad that she had been as nice to the noble she had uptaken, as she had been so far.
Turning around, a stranger sitting at a table further looked up from his beer. Nose scrunched he took another sip before wiping his drenched beard with his shirt's sleeve.
"Hey, you shouldn't meddle with that guy," he slurred in Izaya's direction.
The hit to his backhead came as much unexpected as it was appreciated as the innkeeper dug her way through the hall.
"Mind your own business, will you?" she scolded, and apart from a few muffled curses the guy actually did as told, as he resumed eating the last of his sausage.
"Good sir, forgive me if I am rude, but you don't look like a capable knight." The maniac suddenly spoke, as he had followed Izaya's order and sat down at the table.
Wrinkly hands folded on the table top and his demeanor considerably changed compared to the show of insanity from before.
"What do I look like then?" Izaya questioned, his own curiosity spiking at the unexpected transition.
"A noble," the maniac carefully spoke, "Albeit a very strange one. Can't remember the last time I saw one with ripped buttons and drenched from head to toe."
Izaya snorted at the assessment and pointed to the ragged set of fabrics dangling from the maniac's frail stature. "Are you sure you should be judging other's attire?"
He had obviously struck a nerve as the maniac mustered a quick splurge of heated pride.
"I may look like a beggar but believe me or not I have what I need to get by," he announced curtly and Izaya hummed.
"I actually do." This guy- he was actually listening and responding with common reason.
Compared to the behavior he showed before, Izaya felt as though he was facing a completely different person.
Gray strands of hair, skin blotched by symptoms of old age and the set of barely existing teeth didn't contribute to his allover look, but considering their surroundings, just surviving at this kind of age said a lot about his way of living.
About his caution and means to get by.
The old saying of elderly people being wiser than young ones struck Izaya as right when it came to this age and experience.
"I'm surprised you seem so prone to reason though. Was your behavior before just an act?"
The maniac cast wary glances to the side. It was then that the innkeeper returned with a broad smile.
"Your beer, and meal," she announced swiftly and placed a plate in front of the maniac. A grateful nod was signed towards Izaya and he took a sip of the cool liquid before sighing content.
"There is not much these days that captures a crowd's attention," he whispered as soon as the woman was out of hearing range again. "If not for that act do you think anyone would have listened at all?"
Heh.
Izaya's eyes glinted.
This guy was quite smart indeed.
Sudden movement to the right startled both of them as their unconscious friend had suddenly decided that falling asleep on top of a sausage was probably not the best cushion to use.
Drunken eyes looked forth from fattened eyebrows and he slurred. "Gotta piss…" His shoulders moved and his upper body jerked, but nothing else really happened as he let himself thud back onto the desk anyway.
Izaya lifted an eyebrow at the sight. This guy was smashed.
"What about the contents of your act, were they made up too?" he quickly asked, diverting the maniac's attention back to the real topic.
Delight brighter than the joy he had shown upon being served a meal spread across the maniac's expression. "Are you actually up to the task?" he spoke too quickly for his mouth to keep up and a few very unwelcomed sprinkles of spit decorated the table.
Apart from the massive disgust Izaya felt as he leant away just a little bit more, he also felt genuity in his actions.
His reaction had been too quick to turn down as a mere act.
"If what you say is real how could I not act?" Izaya asked further and he felt like a drug dealer finally delivering that desired order of crack to a junkie as the maniac's head turned into a mass of successive nods. "But before any promises are made I want to hear more." He quickly added before the old guy could start stating his own conditions. Joy faltering just a bit, the maniac hesitated for a moment. "I take it you don't mind?" Izaya quickly finished, flashing his best smile.
Negotiations really were his forte.
And with his standing in this world there was no task easier to be accomplished than to manipulate this guy into telling him what he wanted to hear.
Burping all too gracefully, the maniac took another sip of his beer before talking. "By all means," he gave in, "What is it that you want to know?"
Izaya smiled and his elbows rested on the table top. "Hell. The demon king. Your goddess. Magic." The palm of his hand connected with his chin in a symbolic show of confidence and interest. "I want to know everything you have on these topics."
But despite the unwavering confidence his words carried he seemed to have struck the wrong cord.
Hesitation marked the maniac's expression.
"... I was of the impression that nobles knew how to use magic better than common folk."
Ah.
Izaya was to be blamed for that one. He should have figured that the books on spells he had found were actual instructions- and seeing as even someone as high of a status as his father's only owned a single book about them should have told him that it was an exclusive trait to only chosen nobility as well.
But he had always been smart and most importantly quick to react.
Smile slipping not once he whispered.
"And how am I supposed to know the truth of your words?"
Recognition flared in the maniac's eyes and he quickly nodded in tune to his smile.
"Of course, you want to test me," he surmised, and the plate of food and beer was shortly ignored as he folded his hands in seriousness. Izaya was quite fond of the favorable direction this conversation was steering into.
"I hope you don't take offense," Izaya confirmed quickly, folding his palms on top of the desk, mimicking the action of the maniac on purpose.
Nothing was quicker to sublimely establish a sense of trust than mirroring one's body language.
Not that this guy had any idea what that was.
"... my knowledge is quite limited regarding magic, but I do know a thing or two about the holy empress and hell," the maniac admitted and Izaya resisted the urge to laugh.
Holy empress?
Really?
That's what they called her? If that was a holy entity worth worshiping then Izaya didn't want to know what these guys considered a demon to look like.
"As far as I am aware only high priests serving her mistress are capable of casting powerful holy spells. What they consist of exceeds my knowledge," the maniac uttered with a sense of insecurity, "But I do know of curses! The destruction hell's spells cast are vast and gruesome without exception. Powerful maybe, but certain to take a man's life upon use. The goddess is watching over us so we don't get tempted by demons' baits."
As if.
Izaya was pretty sure that the goddess couldn't care less about anyone's well-being. The simple fact of her having summoned Izaya to this hole of hell for nothing more than revenge proved that idea.
A moment of silence stemming only from the maniac followed, as the hall was still filled with laughter and drunken songs all the same.
"Was that good enough?" he asked and Izaya smiled.
"Barely, you have yet to lose a word about hell."
Delight crossed the maniac's expression. Izaya had more or less confirmed that he believed what the maniac had said without really confirming anything.
It was a trick.
If the maniac had told him nothing but sweet lies Izaya wouldn't blow his cover, and if he spoke the truth he would be facing delight and gratitude.
It was the latter he was shown and the maniac quickly nodded.
"Then- I'm sure you have heard about the calamities befalling the lands," he uttered in hushed words while gazing at the tables around them. The topic was no secret, but certainly sure to spoil the mood of the other guests and so he lowered his voice. "Crops going bad within minutes, beer losing its taste, animals rotting while walking," he quickly summarized and Izaya nodded knowingly.
He hadn't heard a single word about that yet.
"I thought those were rumors?" he tried, and the maniac quickly waved him off.
"Oh, I can assure you they were not-" waving him closer Izaya leant in as the maniac whispered, "Judgment day is coming, something is walking among us that is not supposed to."
Ah.
The familiar feeling of goosebumps traveling down Izaya's back returned.
The goddess.
This guy thought a demon was causing all these calamities, but wasn't it the goddess who was slipping into human's bodies?
The realization came as quiet as the setback.
At least half of what the maniac said was based on false assumptions then.
There might as well be no demon lord at all.
"And that's the demon lord?" Izaya confirmed, second guessing everything the guy had said so far.
"Oh no, his majesty would never leave the safety of his realm. With demons left and right acting at his orders there is no need to be present when he sends us calamities," the maniac quickly negated and Izaya hummed.
"So you are talking about his servants then?"
"Precisely. And the power they draw from stems from the demon lord himself. He is acting like a vessel, sending one after the other to claim our world as his."
Power.
Yes.
That was what Izaya was looking for.
Chances were the goddess possessed more of it than any demon in this supposed hell, but even then Izaya was willing to give it a shot.
After all, who was to say the magic couldn't be improved by a set of additional runes? Maybe by means of mathematics?
Simple concepts of equations should be unfamiliar to even nobility, so who was to say that Izaya couldn't expand that power greatly?
It was a relatively far fetched idea, but within a world of magic not impossible.
"So what is the solution you are talking about?" Izaya finally asked, referring to the actual slaying of the demon lord the maniac had been screaming about earlier.
Faltering as quick as the smile was wide that spread across his cheeks, he continued.
"I'm afraid I cannot give a pathway to victory. But if a set of brave knights is willing to go to hell I believe they could use their unexpected presence to their advantage."
So he was talking out of his ass. This guy had no idea how to defeat a demon lord or even less injure one of his servants.
Oh well, but that wasn't Izaya's goal in the first place.
"Send me there then," he requested and flashed the maniac's expression with surprise.
"Alone, sir?" The way he worded that almost seemed concerning and Izaya couldn't help but feel slightly amused by how well he had managed to wrap this guy around his finger.
"I believe we lack information won't you agree? While a set of knights is easily spotted a sole individual traversing the lands, however, might go by unnoticed." The cleverness in Izaya's idea as well as the guts needed to just go to hell with not a shred of fear seemed to impress the maniac greater than Izaya had expected.
"Very well-" and so the maniac stood from the table "We need a quiet place."
Ah. The first hurdle.
Izaya wasn't really keen to stay in a single room with no one but the maniac present.
If any of his assumptions had even remotely come close to the goddess' power then he could prevent her appearance by having more than one counterpart at his side.
Riding from the table Izaya pointed towards the drunk guy from earlier, vastly drooling onto his serving of potatoes.
"Do help me carry my friend if you will."
Continuing to be full of surprises the maniac cast him an uncertain glance.
"I wasn't aware you were acquainted."
Neither was he.
"There is a reason I was willing to sit next to this idiot."
Yeah, as in life insurance. "If you would?" Izaya asked, flashing his best smile.
This way he would be able to remain in control and keep the goddess at bay.
A nod was given and the old man forced the last piece of sausage down his unwashed throat.
"Alright," he said with no manners and half chewed rests of meat in between his teeth. "Where are we heading?"
to be continued~
Woohoooo finally! Next up: Welcome to hell xDDDD It's high time we make this Shizaya because so far it's only Izaya xDDD