Matty opened his eyes. His ear hurt again but the pain was not as intense. He sat up in his hospital bed. He ran his hand through his hair. He knew the drugs had mostly worn off. He looked out the window it was dark, but the sun was starting to rise. It must be really early in the morning. He wasn't sure what time it was. He turned to look at his parents.
His dad had moved his chair, so his father was next to his mother. His mother had her head in his father's lap and was fast asleep. His dad was sleeping too but he was in an odd position that couldn't be comfortable. He was guessing his dad was going to have a stiff neck when he woke up.
Matty wasn't sure if he should try and speak yet. Maybe he should let his parents sleep some more. But he needed to know. Maybe he could whisper something to himself and not wake them up. Matty was scared. What if he couldn't speak anymore? What if all the pain and scaring his family was for nothing?
His parents were right. He was fine the way he was. He could get by. Why had he chosen to do this to himself? Just because he had gotten bullied a little at his last school. Matty had been tortured, and a little bullying had made him choose to do this. He was being selfish wanting to be like everyone else. He would never be like anyone else. Why had he done this to himself?
Was being able to speak and hear that important? Being deaf wasn't really a disability except he would like to be able to hear music and talk to people on the telephone. He could do everything else anyone else could do besides that. But last night being able to speak had been amazing. There was so much more he wanted to say.
He looked over at his parents and opened his mouth. He tried to speak but nothing came out. He must have needed the drugs. The drugs made it so he was feeling no pain. There were no barriers to speaking when he was high last night. Then Matty thought to himself. I can speak. It's all psychological. It always has been. Deaf people speak all the time. Especially the ones that had grown up being able to hear and speak but had lost their hearing due to an accident like he had. He thought about the time before. The time he could not remember until last night.
He had been such a happy kid when he was Alex. Alex was so loved and happy. Nothing bad had happened to him yet. Matty thought of Alex as a different person even though he knew they were the same person. But he could speak when he was Alex. There was no block. What was the difference? Matty thought about it. Alex had been a very happy loved kid with a very loving and supportive family. Was Matty not happy? Matty had the same family that loved and supported him.
Matty had been tortured when he was five years old. He had watched both his parents die. Except both of his parents survived and were not actually dead. He had watched his father kill Gregor. He had seen his father get shot. But he had made it to America by himself when he was ten years old without the ability to speak. That had been really scary but he had done it. The agency had also tortured him but not as bad as Karbala. Except his mother and Phillip had rescued him. His family always came through for him. He could depend on them. Why was he doing this to himself? Bad things had happened to him but there was so much good and love in his life. The love outweighed the bad things. Didn't it?
His family was wonderful to him. They were a little overwhelming at first because there were so many of them. The worst part of getting his family back had been having to share his dad with the rest of the family. But that was so minor and it had been worth it to have a mom, grandma and long lost siblings. He had done and overcome so much. It was stupid being scared. He knew that. He could speak. He wanted to speak again.
Matty took a deep breath and thought back to being Alex before everything had happened. He was going to channel that kid. See if that would work.
He looked over at his parents an opened his mouth again and nothing came out.
Matty was getting frustrated. He needed to figure out a way to not be scared anymore. He needed to think of good things. He wanted this more than anything. He wanted to not let his demons win.
Matty took a deep breath and tried again ,"I can do this."
It had not been loud. He could barely hear his own voice. But he had spoken. It was working. Now he was going to try and wake up his parents. Before he lost his nerve. His parents wold encourage and help him to keep speaking. He knew it.
Matty took another deep breath and spoke a little louder, "Mom? Dad? Wake up. "
His dad's eyes opened, and his dad smiled at him, "Hey buddy. You can still speak. That's wonderful. How are you feeling?"
Matty smiled at his dad, "It took a couple tries but yeah I think I can, Dad. I just have to remember being Alex and that I'm happy and have a good life now. My ear hurts a little, but I don't want more drugs."
His dad nodded, "I know, kid. I don't like it when they give me drugs either. But we don't want you in pain either. If you take them, you can go home quicker."
Matty nodded, "I guess. I just don't know if I want to be that high again. I think I talked more than Leann last night."
His dad laughed, "No, nobody talks as much as your sister. But last night, that was amazing hearing what you remembered about our time in England. I know your Mom loved hearing it. I kind of did too even though I was there. You started me thinking that maybe once we take down Karbala once and for all. Maybe I'll retire from the Agency and can go back to teaching history. That job was fun and so much less stressful than working for the agency. But more importantly let me call the nurse. Get you checked out. This is great, kid. I think things are going to work out for you. You deserve it."
His dad moved and hit the button to call the nurse. His dad's movement woke up his mother.
His mother stirred and sat up. She smiled at them. "Hey sweet boy. How are you feeling?"
Matty looked at her. "The drugs are wearing off. I can feel my ear again. But the good news is I can still talk. I mean it took a couple times but I think I can do it."
His mother leaned over and kissed his forehead and petted his hair. "Oh, that's wonderful. I had a feeling that you were going to be able to break through your barriers. Knowing you could do it was half the battle."
Matty nodded. "It took me a couple tries. But I just had to think about the fact that I had made it through so much. But it all happened such a long time ago. I have a good life now and the most amazing family. "
A nurse came in, "Everything ok in here?"
His dad spoke, "He's in pain again. He won't tell you that, but he told us. Which means it hurts again and its probably bad. He never complains. The fact that he is acknowledging that his ear hurts. Give him something for the pain. Will you?"
The nurse nodded, "Sure."
Matty looked at the nurse. "I don't need as strong a dose as you gave me yesterday. Maybe just some aspirin or something."
The nurse smiled at him. She walked over to his IV and turned a knob.
His mother gripped his hand. The drugs worked pretty fast. But it was not as strong as the day before.
The doctor came and checked in on him a couple hours later. Matty was honest about the pain this time. The doctor told them that he could go home in the morning.
His parents did not leave his side. It was around noon when Phillip came to his room. He smiled, "Hey little dude. How are you feeling?"
Matty smiled at him, "I'm good bro."
Phillip looked at their parents in shock, "Whoa, did you just speak? Did I hallucinate that?"
His dad spoke, "No, Chief. Matty got his voice back and I have a feeling it is here to stay."
Phillip grinned, "That's awesome. It is so good to hear your voice again. I totally thought you were going to have a cool British accent."
Matty responded, "Yeah, me too. Except I've been home longer now than I lived in England. Plus, I was deaf when I lived there. I'm not even sure I know what a British accent actually sounds like."
Phillip's eyes were getting watery. "I am so happy for you right now, little dude. I can't wait to tell Irene. Or actually you should tell her. You'll get to hear what a British accent mixed with a little bit of an Armenian accent sounds like. "
Phillip pulled out his cell phone. "Hey it's me. I'm at the hospital with Matty. There is someone here who wants to say hi to you."
Phillip handed Matty the cellphone. Matty could hear but not well. Everything was a little muffled. But Phillip put her on speaker phone.
Matty spoke, "Hi Irene. My hearing is still not great, but Phillip put you on speaker phone."
Matty heardIrene say "Oh my goodness. Sunshine, is that you?"
Matty smiled, "Yes, it's me. I can speak again. I hope I still can when the drugs wear off. But they did wear off a little this morning and I'm still able to speak. And the dosage they gave me today is not as strong."
Irene answered him, "Oh how wonderful. Hang on. Leann is here too. She wants to hear your voice too."
"Matty you can speak?" He heard his sister say. His sister was clearer to hear than Irene. But he was guessing it was because his sister was much louder. Even though he was deaf he knew his sister was loud.
"Yeah sis. How are you? I'm super stoned."
He heard Leann laugh, "Oh my gosh it is so good to hear your voice. You sound normal. Phillip was wrong. You don't have a British accent. This is so awesome. I am so happy for you right now . Grandma is going to go nuts. Rachel too. Oh, and you totally need to call Jamie after too. We just talked to him. He is coming this weekend. He was super worried about you. Grandma and I are going to come visit you between 3 and 4PM as soon as her senior Yogalates class lets out."
Matty smiled, "Awesome. Don't tell Grandma I can speak yet. I want to surprise her. I'd love to actually be able to speak to Jamie on the phone. I am sure Phillip won't mind calling Jamie next. Love you sis."
She replied, "Love you too bro. This is so cool."
Matty was grinning. It was so cool being able to talk on the phone. He never really could before. He wasn't sure if it was the fresh dose of drugs or just the idea of being able to talk on the phone normally but Matty was loving it.
"Bye sis. Put Irene back on the phone. I think Phillip wants to talk to her again."
Matty handed the phone back to Phillip. Phillip said goodbye to Irene.
Matty looked at Phillip. "Can we call Jamie?"
Phillip got an evil grin on his face. "Oh, hell yeah we can call Jamie."
Matty watched as Phillip clicked on his contact list on his phone. Jamie was labeled as Dingus in Phillip's phone. Phillip pushed the call button.
Phillip had a very mischievous grin on his face, "Yo Doofus. How's it hanging?,. Shut up. You are such a dork. Look I actually am calling you for a reason. I got someone here that wants to talk to you."
Phillip handed the phone to Matty."Hi Jamie."
Jamie was more soft spoken than Irene and Leann so he was harder for Matty to hear. But he heard Jamie say, "Matty, is that you?"
"Yeah, Jamie. It's me. I can talk again."
"Oh wow. That is so awesome. It is so good to hear your voice little dude. You can hear me too?"
Matty spoke. "Not well. You are on speaker phone for me. You weren't when you were talking to Phillip so don't worry about that. Mom is signing what you say to help me out. This is so cool. I can talk on the phone like a real person."
Jamie sounded teary "Yeah, it's amazing. I am so happy for you, little dude. For the record you always were a real person. But this is so cool. Look I was going to wait until this weekend to come home. But maybe I will just borrow my roommate's car and come home tonight. The paper is not going to fire me. You are way more important than my job. I want to hear your voice in person little dude and give you the biggest hug. I was really worried about you. I love you, little dude."
Matty was grinning, "I love you too, Jamie. You should come tomorrow instead. I probably won't be able to go home until tomorrow. I can't wait to see you."
Jamie sounded happy, "Yeah ok. I'll take the train first thing in the morning instead then. Tell Phillip I'll text him what time to pick me up at the train station."
Phillip spoke, "You are on speakerphone, Worm brain. I can hear you. Yeah, I do have to work tomorrow but if it's not me that picks you up. It could be Irene and the monsters. My boss is a hard ass so I may not be able to get you. Smell you later, doofus."
His dad shot Phillip a dirty look, "I am not a hard ass. One more crack like that and I'll partner you up with Fielder again."
Phillip responded, "Yeah, like that's going to happen, you love me too much to do that. Empty threats."
His dad smiled, "You know you can leave early to pick up Jamie. I don't care."
Phillip smiled, "I know, dude. I was just teasing. I just have to follow up on the Maslow case tomorrow. Not sure if I'll be back in time. I really was just teasing you, Lee. Look I do have to go back to work. But I'll come back tonight. I'm really happy for you, little dude."
Matty smiled at Phillip , "Thanks dude. I love you See you later.."
Phillip hugged him and left. He was alone with his parents. Matty was really happy. He knew things were going to be a little different. His hearing was not perfect yet. Well his hearing would never be perfect. But things were looking up. Maybe it had been worth it to do this to himself.
Notes:
Yay! Matty really does have his voice back now. Was going to drag it out a little but I'm not a monster.
Next chapter - Matty goes home. Hijinks ensue.