Chapter 23: Confidence
"What? Why?" Jumping to his feet Izaya realized the huge downside to what Shizuo had just said and his fight and flight mode kicked into gear, except that this time he didn't intend to run or fight, but convince this demon to stay.
But as quick as he had moved in order to do so, his body reminded him that moving at all was about the worst decision he could take at the moment.
Nausea and dizziness returned in a full blown fashion and Izaya grasped the pillar he had been leaning against for quick support.
Only after a few seconds passed Izaya noticed Shizuo's stare laying upon him, but his reluctance to act or help.
It seemed almost as if he were holding himself back to do so and his eyes turned towards the ground.
"I'm a demon," Shizuo started, and seemed awfully serious in his words.
"So I heard, and?" Izaya frowned, and Shizuo did the same as Izaya had obviously missed the point of his statement.
"No, I mean-" Shizuo seemed to struggle to explain and mildly unsettled to have to do so in the first place, "This strength. I can control it. Most of the time," he continued and a deep gaze met Izaya's eyes as a slight tinge of sadness colored them. "But there are times I can't."
A soft breeze combed across the vegetation and top of the hill, causing a shudder to travel down Izaya's back. And yet he couldn't bring himself to feel any fear over Shizuo's words.
"What do you mean?" Izaya asked and Shizuo grew more and more frustrated in his attempt to explain.
"When demons become overwhelmed-" he started, but failed mid sentence before starting anew, "It's like our sense of reason disappears completely," a short pause followed, as if he were reluctant to speak of the topic at all.
But Izaya was still looking at him with both curiosity and stubbornness that spoke of not the slightest intention of listening to Shizuo's order.
"I might kill you. On accident," Shizuo spoke of the crude truth of his being, in hope he could change this human's mind, "The stronger a demon gets the harder it gets to retain reason."
An announcement like this should be more than enough to make Izaya understand why he was trying to get rid of him. Or at least that's what Shizuo had thought.
But instead of fear he faced doubt along with an unexplainable expression of trust and calmth.
"You look pretty controlled to me," Izaya announced, underlining what Shizuo had already seen and he groaned.
"Are you deaf? I said it's dangerous to stay close to me."
The demon seemed frustrated, for many more reasons than the ones he had just given and somehow Izaya found himself thinking that this was not the first time Shizuo chose his lonesome life over someone else's security.
"Well, for me it isn't," Izaya insisted and this time it wasn't frustration, but a kind of anger that he drew forth from the demon.
"Don't give me that crap you could do nothing if I were to charge at you," Shizuo hissed, and his horns, having remained black and sleek the entire time showed a few streaks of glimmering red.
They were supposed to threaten him, Izaya figured, but doubted Shizuo was controlling them. It was funny. Quite like a cat tousling its fur it seemed demons showed their anger in their horns and the way they moved or glowed.
It caused a variety of ideas to pop into Izaya's head, like the option of demon blood starting to glow under pressure and being the reason the horn glowed once their heart accelerated in both anger or agitation.
It would mean there were quite a lot of events where this pattern would occur.
But Izaya knew that right now was not the time for speculations and sighed calmly.
This demon wasn't averse to reason. And so he would do exactly that.
Reason with him.
"Getting me out of hell would result in my death anyway," he announced shortly and the surprise that statement brought served more than enough of Izaya's wished effect.
"What?" almost immediately Izaya noticed Shizuo's horns declining in color. "What do you mean?"
Shizuo searched for hints of a lie, but looking at Izaya straight he could tell he wasn't lying.
"What I said," Izaya shrugged, "Abandon me here and I will be killed by the critters. Abandon me on earth and I will die in a similar fashion."
Shizuo frowned. Humans were weak by nature, he knew that. He also knew that they were prone to envy and murdering each other, but Izaya's words didn't seem to stem from a meager assumption.
"Are you being chased by your kind or something?" Except for some priests occasionally getting lost down here or meeting a demon who was in the middle of biting off said humans' heads he hadn't seen a lot of humans in the past year that he spent in hell.
Humans were living beings following rules most of the time. Breaking one of these was treated with punishment as hard as death sometimes.
Was that what it was? What rule had Izaya broken?
More ideas kept coursing Shizuo's head and Izaya continued.
"Either way I will end up dead. And as much as it honors you that you are trying to get me out of harm's way at the end of the day, aren't you just looking for excuses to go on a rampage?" Glance directing downwards Shizuo found himself meeting a solid glare.
"Huh?" The meaning of Izaya's accusation only slowly caught up to his brain and he frowned.
"What else are you telling me this for? You are controlling yourself right now and as I see it telling me about how hard it is for you to do so only sounds like an early excuse for a planned fuck up," Izaya declared and as expected the demon jumped to his feet.
Anger, annoyance and something that looked like disappointment reflected in his glare as he hissed at Izaya.
"That's not what it is-"
"Then prove it," letting go of the pillar that supported his body, Izaya fought the wave of dizziness as he faced the demon head on. "A few days or weeks, you said that's the time it will take to get to Crysteria. I would much rather bet on your ability to control yourself than on a random whim of fate that keeps me out of harm's way."
Shizuo's mouth opened at that, ready to complain, but Izaya's words were true and no matter how Izaya looked at it, there was no third option to this mess.
Leave hell and the goddess was going to kill him. Stay in hell alone and the critters would do the same.
Staying close to this demon, visiting the demon lord and hoping that he could either kill the goddess or send him back to his old life was the best bet he had.
It took a whole minute but after a while the demon finally sighed.
His horns declined in their growth and glow and he groaned.
"You are stubborn as hell, did anyone tell you that?"
Izaya smiled at the unintended pun, but merely shrugged as the response had obviously ended in his favor. "I'm just used to getting what I want."
Movement to the right startled the two of them for just a second.
The serpent was obviously done with its meal as it slowly started descending the side of the hill. Nothing was left of the creature that had almost killed Izaya except for a stain of blood coloring the ground in viscous black.
"It's not like I'm making early excuses to kill someone," Shizuo whispered and his eyes narrowed as he watched the guardian leave. His eyes were filled with a kind of regret that didn't stem from future possibilities and Izaya's voice turned just a tad more gentle.
"Have you killed anyone the past year that you remember?"
A short laugh followed, but it was bitter and soaked in sarcasm. "No," Shizuo sighed, "But I hurt someone I would rather not have."
Ah.
Guilt.
That was what Izaya recognized when he looked at Shizuo.
An emotion very unlike demonkind he guessed.
"A demon?" he asked, and Shizuo nodded.
"Yeah and she was not a weak one."
The glance cast towards Izaya was more than enough to make him understand. If someone Shizuo deemed as strong nearly died from having Shizuo run havoc, then there was no doubt Izaya was definitely going to die if he ever lost control around him. And yet, somehow Izaya couldn't help but feel a smile creep to his lips.
Was it the danger? The possibility of death? Or just the fact that he was dealing with a potential monster that caused this elevated sense of thrill?
Fear was what he should be showing and feeling after the lengthy explanation he had been served. Instead he only felt excitement- quite like a dog owner taking on a wild wolf to domesticate it for himself only.
A groan left Shizuo's lips as he noticed Izaya's obvious misreading of the situation.
"You have no idea what you are getting yourself into."
But Izaya merely shrugged, "That might be true. But I'm willing to bet on you."
Where?
Shizuo didn't understand.
Where did Izaya take this confidence from?
He was a mere human, there was no ace up his sleeve, there was no strength hidden beneath those clothes and no magic barrier going to save him if anything went wrong.
Yet he stood there, confident in his choice, confident in Shizuo's ability to restrain himself and somehow that brimming confidence was addicting.
Izaya obviously believed in him and somehow it made Shizuo want to believe in himself too.
"Wipe that annoying grin off your face," Shizuo mumbled and approached this crazy human to serve a flick to his forehead. Gently. But all he received was a smirk.
"Why, will you kill me otherwise?"
This guy- really-
Shizuo snorted, "You have some pretty warped sense of humor."
He was waiting for another comeback just as witty and sharp as the first, but this time he was disappointed as visible tremors started to shake Izaya's body. They began slowly, even, and rapidly increased in number as the human's face scrunched in pain.
To say Izaya felt like a frozen lobster being thrown into a pot of cooking oil would be cute against the stabs of needles pricking his skin all over.
It was a sensation that made him feel lightheaded and nauseous and incapable of giving the response Shizuo was waiting for.
It was then that the demon moved closer and his arms brushed past Izaya's ear as they reached behind his back.
Confusion settled on Izaya's face at what appeared to be an extremely awkward hug, but within a few seconds Shizuo stepped back, leaving Izaya very confused and with less pain than before.
It was only when Izaya glanced down Shizuo's chest that he noticed the pendant he had been wearing had disappeared.
A quick gaze towards his own chest told Izaya what the action was that Shizuo had executed.
"Sleep. Wearing this should shorten the effect of my blood considerably." The pendant was dangling from Izaya's neck. Slowly, but surely, the heat boiling the oil around Izaya's body started to lose its temperature and he sighed.
"Why didn't you say so earlier?" Shizuo could have considerably shortened his suffering all along, and that knowledge kinda annoyed Izaya a bit.
And yet- somehow Shizuo's demeanor had changed after this conversation.
A smile sneaked onto his lips and somehow it appeared to be the most genuine Izaya had seen so far.
"You deserved that for being stupid enough to wander hell by yourself."
Izaya laughed.
"Are you trying to raise me right?"
It was then that noise of a grand kind traversed the area and both their heads turned to face the direction the serpent had disappeared into.
One of the thistle trees in the distance submitted to the enlarged body of the guardian and Izaya released the breath he didn't realize he had held.
He liked hell. For many reasons. But the monsters and the guardian were definitely no part of those.
"You said we are safe here, right?" Izaya whispered into the night and Shizuo nodded.
"Ignoring that you are hanging out with a demon, yes."
Izaya snorted.
Right.
And yet somehow that answer assured him.
A few days.
Glancing towards the mountain, moving only due to the fact that it had been built upon a tortoise's back he couldn't help but wonder.
How long would it take to reach it?
How long was he going to follow Shizuo around?
A short glance was cast towards the demon who had settled onto the ground in a cross legged fashion. His eyes were closed and his order of catching some well deserved rest obviously the last he was going to give for tonight.
Which made sense considering he was trying his best to not tear Izaya apart by accident.
A shudder traveled down Izaya's back as he looked at the demon and let himself sink to the ground as well. He had seen him move.
Strong. Elegant. Nothing could stop him, not even the strongest demons. Once that bundled power charged at him it would be game over.
And yet-
Gaze locked with the demon's peaceful expression Izaya couldn't help but feel a shred of familiarity. Familiarity of a kind he didn't know how to handle. Trust was something that didn't come to him easily.
He might not remember his previous life's relationships, but he remembered the way he felt towards humankind as a whole.
Distrust, envy and amusement made the top three. He wasn't gullible, he wasn't stupid and he wasn't prone to follow fake beliefs.
So why?
Letting his head thud against the pillar holding up the blood fuelled barrier he looked at the stars glimmering above.
Why was it that he held not a shred of doubt or distrust towards this demon?
Maybe it was due to the pendant Shizuo had handed him, maybe due to the sheer exhaustion Izaya had felt until now and the infinite amount of energy wasted, but somehow the noises of the night and the steaming surroundings changed into smothering waves of calmth.
Almost like a lullaby Izaya found himself captured in cool warmth and a kind of relaxation claimed his conscience sooner than he liked as he finally drifted off to a well deserved night of rest.
to be continued~
Alright now that we have this issue handled let's go and explore more of hell! xDD Next stop: The serpent's trail
xDDDD