Once upon a time, there was a boy who thought he could change the world. Be someone worth adoration from the masses. Rich enough to get whatever he wanted. Successful enough that anyone would want to be him.

Once upon a time, I was that boy.

Then I realized that those thoughts were nothing but delusions of grandeur. A series of fantasies that were borne of an imagination too imaginative for its own good. Needless to say, I crushed that part of me as soon as I realized that.

However, the thing about 'crushing' parts of you is that they always spring back up, in some form or another. See, people change. People change a lot, but that doesn't mean that everything changes. Bits and parts of the human that someone once was will always peer through the veil they cover themselves in. I was included in that, no matter how much I wanted otherwise.

That moment of realizing that I was still that same chuunibyou kid wanting to do good happened when I was in the hospital after saving Yuigahama's dog. It would be hilarious to anyone when they hear that I just 'acted out of instinct' as if I were some shonen protagonist. The difference is that the me from my second year in high school didn't think he deserved a reward for all that. That the work he needed to do was just because 'someone had to do it' like some anti-hero spiel.

Thinking about it now makes me cringe in absolute embarrassment. Really, this is going in the 'can't sleep at 3am cause all my past failures decide to haunt me' folder.

All that said, despite my vehement opposition and rejection, the idea of being the hero still had some merit to me, especially after I found myself in Lugunica. I still thought, deep down in the recesses of my own mind, that being the hero would give me everything I could want or need. Surely, a world such as this would reward someone for their deeds, right?

Well, take Reinhard Astrea for example. His reward for being the Big Damn Hero was permanent house arrest.

So, after realizing that, I snuffed out that feeling for the second time in my life.

And, like I said earlier, that feeling sprouted right back up the moment it could.

I shouldn't be here. I don't owe anything to Karsten. She wouldn't begrudge me for my decision. Just because most people in Lugunica can fight doesn't mean they're all fighters. I was comfortably in that category. I could use whatever I had on hand and supplement that with my strengthening, but that didn't equate to having real combat experience.

It didn't equate to being invited to bring down the White Whale. To fight not one, but two Archbishops.

Yet I still accepted, all because it fed into the greed that maybe didn't even originate from me. That maybe was even due to the actions of a past me that doesn't exist anymore.

What I'm trying to say is that being a hero is really annoying, really painful, and really not worth it. I'll just leave the primary identity of 'isekai protagonist' up to you, Natsuki. Ganbare.

…

"Oi, if you're going to heal me, at least do it properly." I grumbled as I felt the sting of several small injuries still present on my body. We were back in the Mathers mansion, gathered around the main dining table. Emilia, the maids, Beatrice, and Natsuki on one side, while myself and Karsten's camp on the other. Curiously, there was no sign of Mathers himself.

"You'll be pleased to know that I specifically instructed Ferris to only heal the injuries that would be detrimental to your health." Karsten glared at me as she spoke, a fire in her eyes that made me flinch for a moment, "Maybe this will make you think before attempting something as utterly stupid as your actions a second time."

"It worked, didn't it?" I shrugged, then winced as a lance of pain worked its way up my shoulders. Dammit, that's going to be annoying.

"Whether it worked or not isn't the point." The Duchess tapped her finger on the table. Any harder and she might actually punch a hole through it, "In fact, your plan worked out for the best, did it not? You managed to drive off Gluttony. What I'm angry at you for, Hachiman Hikigaya, is your idiocy in taunting the Archbishop that had your neck in his hands!"

"I concur, that was not exactly the smartest decision you've made, Hikigaya-dono."

"That's something I think Barusu would do instead of you, Hikigaya."

"Hey! I'd like to think I'm kinda better than that! But yeah, sorry Hikigaya, that was kinda dumb of you."

"...Alright, I admit, I could have handled that much better." If even Natsuki was looking at me like I was stupid, maybe I was, "But in my defense, I blame the lack of oxygen going to my head at the time. So please, can we shelve that discussion for later? I doubt you called everyone here to dogpile on me."

There was a moment of confusion, but Karsten soon narrowed her eyes at me and nodded, "Very well. We'll talk about it later." By her tone, I wouldn't be able to slip away. Dammit.

"At any rate, does anyone know where Margrave Mathers is? He should have been present when we had to deal with everything in his territory." Ah, I recognized that look on her face. It was the same as how I would feel when I found a particularly gullible customer that I could wring every bit of coin out of. A shark smelling blood.

A woman that would drag each and every bit of advantage out into the open for everyone to see. Mathers may be a margrave, but he was also the Court Mage. That by itself was a major selling point to gather any and all favors from him. And killing the Whale, capturing an Archbishop, and driving off another one was likely worth more than I could imagine.

Hmm? What was that? Why yes, of course I was going to milk this alongside Karsten. I had risked my life for this shit, and I hadn't forgotten the promise of access to Mathers' secret library. However, this had gone beyond the Whale, so I was going to be a little shit and demand access to Mathers' actual secret library.

I wasn't dumb enough to think that a mage like Mathers would just give me access to the secrets he had in store. Most likely, when he told me that he was going to give me access, it might also be with some caveat like, it's in some code that I'd have to decipher, or they're incomplete and the real answers are stored somewhere else.

By myself, I would have been able to do nothing but accept that I got cheated out of my payment, even if Mathers was under no obligation further than that. With Karsten on my side though, and her streak of being fair? You can bet that I was going to get to the real deal, no matter how much it pisses off Mathers.

"I spoke to the villagers earlier," Natsuki started, furrowed eyebrows and all, "And they said that Ros-chi managed to evacuate about half the village over to some place called the Sanctuary? That ring any bells to anyone?" Not to me, nor the Karsten camp, but it was clear that the others knew of it.

"Roswaal mentioned it once." Emilia put a finger to her chin as she looked up in thought, "Some sort of safe area for demi-humans? He didn't talk about it much."

That piqued the interest of Karsten's camp, "Is that so?" Tension that had built on her shoulders lifted away, slight as it were, "Then at least I cannot fault him for disappearing when he was needed. Very well, we'll talk about compensation when he returns. For now though, the main problem is the Archbishop."

Romanée-Conti, right. I felt my lips frown as I was reminded of him once more. Argyle and Rem's growls told me they felt the same.

"We should just kill him." The catboy spat out, and I was tempted to agree, the battle with Gluttony only serving more proof that the Archbishops were dangerous beyond a shadow of a doubt. Still, I joined Karsten in shaking our heads. I let her do the talking though, as Argyle would listen to her more than me.

"Unfortunately, Romanée-Conti is our best source of inside information regarding the Witch Cult. Likely our only source in its entire existence, even if their internal schism may be true. Therefore, extracting as much information out of him is of the utmost importance."

I was under no illusions as to what she meant by 'extracting'.

"The real question now is how do we proceed from here? We do not have any methods of securing him for transport, nor a method to actually hold him in confinement." Karsten frowned. I understood where she came from. Romanée-Conti was extremely skilled, and it showed. Whatever methods of holding him needed to be secured against his magic, and nevermind the actual transport of him to the capital was sure to rile up some feathers.

"He'll have to stay here for now." I spoke the words that nobody was comfortable saying, "Beatrice is the only one who has the ability to hold him in place right now, " And man, that stung to say a shortstack like her, Great Spirit or not, was still more skilled than me, "And unfortunately, she can't leave the mansion for long periods of time. Mathers might be able to make something more permanent when he comes back."

"I don't like it." Natsuki grumbled, "This reeks of just asking for something to go wrong and letting him go free."

"Unless something goes wrong, you can be assured that I will keep Ge-" Beatrice cut herself off with an audible click of her teeth, "...that I will keep Romanée-Conti in place, in fact."

I stared at her for her slip, but didn't mention anything else. It was still suspicious how they knew each other, but Beatrice had a couple hundred years to do something untoward. She at least had the benefit of the doubt.

"If that's all, then I'm going to head home." I stood up from my place and stretched. Karsten's camp would be heading back with their soldiers, so I didn't bother asking them if they wanted to hitch a portal back to the capital, "If you need me, I'll be in my shop."

"Yeah, sure thing." Natsuki waved at me, "We'll head off to find Ros-chi as soon as we're done here-"

"It takes around half a day to get to the Sanctuary." Ram spoke for the first time in a while. It was also well past three in the afternoon.

"-Like I was saying, we'll head to find Ros-chi first thing tomorrow morning!" I'll give him props for taking that shit in stride. Tomorrow morning, huh? More than enough time to get some proper sleep for once.

"I'll send someone to fetch you once you've rested, Hachiman." Karsten's ominous words were spoken with such serene grace that it couldn't be anything other than sincere. Unless you knew her like me, Argyle and Wilhelm. In which case, I shuddered in dread and the other two just gave me looks of sympathy.

I shrugged away the inevitable fate I had in store as I gave a lazy wave while I opened a portal. Not just to my shop, but directly onto my bed. The door should be locked still, so I didn't bother checking anything. The moment my head hit my pillow, the entire day's events all caught up to me, and I was instantly groggy.

Who knew dealing with the White Whale and two Archbishops could be so tiring, huh?

I slept like a log that night, and it was the single best night's rest I've had in a long time.

…

A/N: If you like what I do and want to support me, check out my P-atreon at P-atreon•com(slash)Almistyor.

And a special thanks to: FireRogueWolf25, Tassimo and Grant Walker.