"The Lady Fia to see you, my lord." Friso called as he closed the door to Owain's study behind him.
"Let her in." Owain stood hurriedly, rounding his desk. He knew why she had come.
Her face was focused as she entered, a burning intensity permeated her clipped words, "Enough dallying, Owain. To my lord's side."
He nodded, "Aye, my lady." She was right, he'd put this off long enough.
They met with mother Renalla, a disgruntled Sellen, and an anxious Tricia in one of the palace's inner courtyards. The three women had already gone ahead to the depths the day prior, now that Lord Vyke was resting comfortably. Tricia held a disturbed expression, some flickering shade behind her golden eyes. It was enough to set Owain's own fears rising, for she was not a woman easily rattled.
Mother Renalla was blank faced as she looked down at Owain, which only furthered his apprehension. She was hiding her feelings, which was decidedly not a good sign, "Art thou prepared, my son?" she asked gently.
He shrugged the tension from his shoulders, nodding, "Aye."
They appeared within the deepest reaches of the great tree's depths, above what remained of the confessory, a collection of derelict buildings long disarrayed by turmoil and untended roots. Before a break in the stone, stood over half of his father's order, his aunt at their head. Unhelmed, Crucible knight Siluria strode to his front, planting her spear in the ground. "Steady thy heart, nephew. What lay afore ye will set ye tremblin'."
"I am prepared as I can be, aunt." he swallowed, his trepidation only mounting.
"Then I bid ye welcome to these desecrated grounds, be they what they may." A gauntleted hand pulled him gently to her shoulder, his aunt cut an impressive figure, standing as tall as Ranni, "I am gladdened to see ye safe, little Wain. We shall speak of gentler things and merry make at Lilah's place another time. This day is for solemnity, Highlord." Her eyes, the same shade of green as his father's, bored through him.
"Aye, aunt." he nodded. The crucible knights filed by him, all with greetings and condolences both. Soon it was only he and those he had come with.
Mother Renalla waved him towards the break in the rock face, "We shall tarry here for a moment, Wain, that thou might…greeteth him unhindered by composure." That Lady Fortissax kept her silence unnerved him even further.
The stench met him first. A terrible mixture of rotting flesh and swamp muck, he gagged at the foul odor. The mana too, was disquieting here. He was no scholar of magic, but even he could tell the difference. The air held a constant taint of…it felt to him like anticipation and despair. He pushed forward across the broad clearing, scowling in confusion.
He did not see the man he called brother. Could not find his body. The depths were murky on the best of days, but Owain had walked all across the large space of still water and could spy no place of honor for the golden prince. He squinted, swiveling his head in uncertain arcs. The only oddity he could find was the strangely shaped edifice upon the far wall.
A carving? How unusual, it looked almost... Ah. He understood. He almost wished he did not. Before him was no wall of stone, but his brother, twisted and marred into a shape unrecognizable. His legs gave way, they could not bear the weight of this knowledge. His eyes, wide and too-seeing, yearned to shut, to block out the sight of this cardinal sin. It was the final blow to see the creature- Godwyn's skin pulse.
His body still lived.
Great sobs of terror and shock tore from his startled chest. Painful, wheezing things that made his ribs ache. "Godwyn." he groaned. Horror, horror! Dread took him, his hands spasmed against each other. His lips were pulled back in a useless snarl. How could this be? What the fuck was this? What fate was this for his prince? What a living -living- nightmare for his best friend. To be forced into this, to be left to rot even as he yet breathed!
Owain scrambled up on shaking legs, combatting an endless deluge of memories that threatened to drown him in their potency. He roared out his grief, bellowing his fury at the too still mountain of flesh before him. He stumbled forward, laying a hand atop…scales? "B-brother, I will right this. I will- this can not stand! I shall not allow you to linger here in this most foul undeath. I vow it, Godwyn! I swear to you, I will do all in my power to save you from this fate. Not even death-" his voice broke. He dragged in another shuddering gasp, "Not even death shall halt me, brother. I swear it."
His sight was stolen by a memory he could not fight.
"Doth it not excite thee, Wain? The thought of adventure?" Godwyn grinned at him from his place hung upside-down on the tree's sturdy bough.
Owain squinted at him before clambering his own way up the tree, he did not hang upside down though, that would be juvenile, "You might think of adventure, but all I can think of is keeping you out of trouble."
Godwyn waved his hands flippantly, laughing as he swayed languidly, "Small trouble would be good for thee, worrywart. Besides, the knowledge that I have such a stalwart guardian makest me feel ever so safe. Ooo~, whatever would I do without thee?" he sang at Owain in a high falsetto. Owain frowned.
He shimmied along the branch until he was looking down at his friend. He wanted to be near just in case Godwyn slipped, his father had scolded him quite harshly the last time the prince had injured himself messing about, "I shudder with fear at the thought of you with free reign, Wyn. The lands would know no peace."
He caught himself by hinged knees as Godwyn reached up to topple him over the branch as well. Owain scowled at the prince, crossing his arms as they both hung upside down, "There will be time enough to rest when we are dead! We must focus on living, Wain." The prince yanked him into a one armed hug, laughing at his expression. Owain couldn't hold his frown, which only made Godwyn laugh harder. "There! Not so bad, see?" Owain rolled his eyes, he certainly had his hands full.
"You see it now, this hell of mine." He turned his head to see Lady Fortissax. She regarded him with deadened eyes.
"Aye." he said softly.
"Thy wife caused this." She cast her sight back to where the others stood waiting.
"...aye" Owain bit out. This was Ranni's doing. The harshest of truths to face. He had known that, forgiven it, but to see it….Owain scowled.
"You shall endeavor to restore him, as you promised." she affirmed, eyes flickering amber as he nodded. She vanished in a swirl of red smoke.
Owain did not hear mother Renalla come to his side as she floated above the water instead, "More time doth we need, more research must be done. I only wished for thee to know well what we contend with, mine golden son."
He gazed mournfully at the remains of his prince, "I shall sit vigil this night. Alone."
"I shall inform, Ranni." There was a long moment where it seemed she would say something else, before she crouched in the air to ruffle his hair and disappeared herself and the others in silver mist. Owain sat back on his hands, ignoring the slow tears that stole down his cheeks. He would save Godwyn, but first he would sit vigil. He owed his brother that much at least.
Ranni was with child! She had bade Tricia verify her condition several times and the princess was ecstatic! She had needed to occupy herself while Wain and mother went forth to Godwyn's resting place, else her spiraling thoughts consume her. Oh, but she could not wait to tell Owain! He would be so excited, that they at last could share this bliss was the most euphoric of dreams come true!
Mother returned alone. Her eyes were wearied and looked upon Ranni with a discomforting judgment. "Mother? Where is Wain?" she asked, hesitant.
Mother sighed, watching her with pity. Pity? "He bid me telleth thee to await his return on the morrow. He wishes to sit vigil aside the boy's…aside Prince Godwyn's remains."
Her heart constricted painfully in her chest. He did not wish for her to be with him? Did he not desire her comfort? Or had Fortissax forbade it? No matter, Ranni could not feel the dragon's magic within the capital, she would not know if Ranni went to Owain! Mother began saying something else, but Ranni was already disappearing into mist.
Her breath was stolen at the sight of what she'd caused. The grotesque mountain of flesh afore her could not be named Godwyn. This was…the stench of it, the viscous feeling of the deathly mana in the air was sickening. Her cringing sight lowered to the rounded back of her beloved as he kneeled afore the monument to her folly. Why did he sit in this tepid water? By the tenseness of shoulders, he'd sensed her arrival, why then did he not turn to greet her? Dread crept its way up her throat as the realization that she'd long discarded returned. This was her doing, she had killed he and his lord both, would he- could he truly forgive her?
Her steps were noisy in the low water, the ripples flowing into encroaching shadow. Only thin light from above lit the space. Ranni halted within reach of her husband, hand extended but not yet touching him. She was not sure if she deserved to, "Wai-"
"Do not speak." he commanded, voice hoarse. Ranni's words caught in her astonished throat, had words so viciously growled been meant for her? Owain continued, "I am so furious . Do not speak. Do not touch me." Her heart dropped, and she could not find her breath. He would rebuke her without even offering her a chance at apology?
He would recoil from her?
Panic forced ringing to her ears, her blood thundered through a seizing heart. Wirra! She could not breathe, she could not breathe. Her clumsy tongue could not even form his sacred name, her voice was lost to her and she was a fool. "O-Ow- Owain!" she stuttered.
"No!" he bellowed, face forward. She startled, frightened. He would bellow at her? His voice should never speak to her in anything but love, this was wrong! It was wrong! Ranni began to shake. Her hands, her legs, her lips, all were trembling. The end? Was this the end? Her eyes slid wildly in her skull, taking in the suffocating black of the deep root depths. Dark, it was dark! It was cold. Would the night claim her? Was she being discarded? She struggled her shaking hands forward, if she could only touch him, if she could feel-
He ripped himself from her fumbling grasp and still he would not look upon her. His voice, soft now, cut through her mania, "Away, Ranni! I am far far too in love with you. To hear your voice would steal away the heat of my fury. To feel your touch would dull flat the edge of my grief. To even look upon you…" he growled an angry sigh, slamming a fist to the watery ground beneath, splashing them both in the disgusting murk, "I must grieve, I must mourn as a friend. I must devote my heart to it in full for at least a night."
A nightmare? An illusion! It must be. She slashed painted nails down her forearm, a low keen tearing itself from her throat as her hand came away with blood. She was awake and this was hell. wHy wouLD he Not LOOK AT HER? Why, wHy, why, WHY? "S-sunbeam, my-"
"Be- begone , Ranni. I will- on the morrow, I will come to you, but this night I must sit vigil. I must pay my respects untainted by distraction nor distortion." His voice was gentle now, ragged, tight with emotion. He held back his anger, he hid it!
Would he hate her if she spoke? Would he take her into his arms if she stayed? Her panic had a choking grip about her throat now, her fear sank deep fingers into her whirling mind. She slapped a palm over her mouth, no noise must escape her! She mustn't touch him, mustn't speak. He had asked, he would forgive her if only she did as he asked. She stumbled away into her spell, her study atop her tower coming into shape as she fell against her desk.
He recoiled from her, he saw her malevolence and he hated her! She was no better than mother, she would be discarded! She flung a hand, activating her wards of silence and safety with heaving gasps. No control, she was not-she had no control! Ranni screamed. She could not breathe but lo she could scream. The voice he so loved, she tore jagged as she sobbed wildly.
No, no, no! All was lost! Her life was ended, what point was there in living if he would not be at her side? She could not bear his absence a second time. Could never live to be discarded! He turned from her! He turned from her! He recoiled! For she was a beast and her heart was ugly and he recoiled from her ignobility. She pounded her fists against her desk with an incoherent roar once, thrice. Her hands bled and still she could not stop. She was a hateful thing, deserving of the pain.
A timeless, airless, lightless while passed before Ranni forced open reddened eyes at the coming of a saving plan. Use! She must be of such use to him that he could never part from her! She must be of such necessity that none would question why Owain, why the noble and good and kind and burnished one, would take a monster such as she as his wife.
In an instant she was appeared in Leyndell's prison. The figure of the failed assassin, Louise, was huddled in the corner of a damp cell. Ranni cast frantic eyes to the guard that lingered at the end of the hallway. The man was already stumbling towards her in a rush, likely to inquire why she had come. She hid her hands in her sleeves, "Caria. I must taketh this one to Caria, f-for mine spellcraft."
The man stood before her silent for a moment before bowing, "Yes, Princess Ranni, as you wish." Hurry! Speed! She needed speed! Only a few moments more before her and the silent prisoner were within the innards of Caria's restored dungeon. Soft torchlight lit the clammy cells and a startled page rushed to a bow at her appearance. The girl started to speak but Ranni waved her way, "Out. I am not to be disturbed!"
They were alone now, the assassin would not look at her. Did she know? Did the woman know? Could she see Ranni's desperation? Was her agony so plain?
"I doth not know healin' magic, wretch." she intoned quietly. The woman's face lifted slowly, deep terror dwelt in her gaze but still was it tainted with defiance. "Whatever wounds I am to gift to thee, I can not restore thee to health, even should I wisheth so." The woman spat at Ranni, the glob sliding slowly down the front of the princess' fine dress, a gift from her husband. Ranni's hands twitched.
"You will get nothing from me, traitor princess." the woman snarled, rattling her shackles.
Ranni crowded the woman, leering over her with teeth bared, "I have not the time. No time! What I needst, I needst, now!" She turned the woman's left arm to ice, "Where is Ofnir?"
"I'll never betr-" Ranni's snapped the frozen arm from its shoulder.
"Where is Ofnir?" she pressed, ignoring the thing's cries of anguish. She froze it's right arm. Only a little more iniquity! Only a little more shaded sin and she would surely see the light once more!
"Great Goddess, sav-"
She broke the arm from its shoulder. Why wouldn't this wretch give her what she needed? Enough noise! She needed answers!
"Where is Ofnir?" She loomed, free hand sunk to the thing's neck. Naught but incessant blubbering came forth from drooling lips. Mewling whore! Be useful! Ranni froze the dreg's legs.
"Where is-" The noises stopped. No, no the pissant had expired? What use was this pathetic mongrel to her dead? What use was Ranni if she could not even find their enemy? What use- none! Ranni could do nothing right! She snarled, kicking at the bleeding corpse with trembling legs.
"Enough, Daughter." spoke a soft voice at her back.
Ranni whirled. She was caught, now how to hide her mistake? "Mother!"
Mother opened her arms, robes wafting forth her soothing perfume, "Come, little moon, I shall taketh thee to Tricia."
Ranni shook her head, eyes sliding to the corpse at her feet, perhaps she could snatch the secrets from the woman's dead mind? "No, no! I am- I need to be of use to him, mother. He rebuffed me! He plans to throw me from his side, to d-discard me."
Mother strode forward, snatching up Ranni's hands from where she'd hidden them in her sleeves with a gentle grip, "What use is this, foolish girl? Thou hast mutilated this worthless confessor and harmed thyself asides. What use would Wain find in such bumblin' evil?"
To name it evil, did she not see it was necessary? It would serve Owain's good if she could only find Ofnir. Mother did not understand, she needed to understand why Ranni must do this, "He-he shouted at me, mother. His voice, such wrath in his voice. To me! Unto me didst he show such-"
"As well he should! A horrid mess thou hast made with thy hasty heart! I didst not raise such a thoughtless woman as she who would plunge the lands unto chaos in a fit of drama!" Mother's eyes flashed with disapproval and her lip curled in annoyance.
Ranni snarled, trying and failing to pull her hands from her mother's, "Drama? Owain died! I felt him die, mother. His blazin' soul, snuffed."
Mother snapped a hand to Rani's nape, forcing her to meet her eyes, "And to whom is his death owed? Thou canst not blame Ofnir, a hound shall bite at whichever throat its master deigns. Thou canst not blame Alecto, a blade stewards not the hand in which it is held. Who then, Ranni? Who killed-"
"I did!" Ranni shrieked, ripping herself at last from Mother's grip. "It is my f-fault! Doth thou thinkest I dost not know that? Thinkest me blind entire to my- mother, I know I am to blame. Guilt's hold about mine throat is so tight, I am suffocated by this truth I can not deny!" She could not help the frost that crept from her, nor the mana that spilled from her loosening hold. Ranni was teetering upon the edge, to admit her greatest failure threatened to cast her into the abyss.
Mother was heedless of Ranni's turmoil, flowing to enfold her in an embrace. Ranni allowed herself to be held, but her heart was yet in the throes of despair, "And Owain has forgiven thy blunderin'." Mother promised.
Rannni pressed her face to her mother's shoulder, the scent of roses not calming her as it should, "He hast seen it true! He has seen my malformed nature and he turns from me, mama. Like…like father."
"Owain is not Radagon and…and thou art not me." Mother's fingers trembled as she smoothed Ranni's hair, as she held her tighter.
The princess tried vainly to halt her babbling, "He is golden, he is noble and righteous and-"
Mother's hands clasped Ranni's face, gaze serious through the haze of frazzled tears, "Owain is a death-dealer, Ranni. Thou hast placed him high atop a pedestal long enough, daughter. He is a good man, but he too, is full of that clinging dark which dwells within us. He is the shield that allowed Marika to commit such atrocities, child. His actions sustained an order soaked in blood."
She sucked in a ragged gasp. Lies! These lies! "No! He is pure! He is radiant and kind! A beam of sun that-"
"The sun canst scorch, child! Fire, heat and ending! This hate will linger in thee always if thou canst not see him clearly." Mother's lips were tender as they pressed to Ranni furrowed brow, her velvet hands careful as they brushed away Ranni's still flowing tears. "We shall hide this desperate deed, Tricia shall mendeth thy hands, thou wilt rest, child. Upon mine words must thee pondereth, but not in a state such as this."
Ranni tried to pull away once more, but mother cast some spell of calming that even she could not overpower. Ranni slumped dazedly into her side.
Tricia mended her with soft touch and soft chides, Mother tucked her into Owain's bed in silence. Ranni tried to rally her fervor, but the mania that had gripped her was no longer her's to hold. Mother's spell stole the desire to leave the safe sheets of her lover's bed. She fought the closing of her eyes for only a few minutes more before at last succumbing to her overworked body. The realization that she had never told Owain of her pregnancy was a distant alarm as sleep overtook her.
He bathed in sullen silence. Alas, his chest was burdened by a heart of hardening stone. Godwyn…poor Godwyn was- he could not even allow the thought of that abomination. It would only enflame his anger anew and he already felt poorly for snapping at Ranni. He should not have shouted at her, it was cruel of him. He knew how much it upset her, he should have comported himself better, he was sure his words had wounded her.
Only a handful of times in all their centuries had he ever raised his voice at her. He knew that such a thing was frightening to even the most dangerous, he was a large man with a deep and menacing timbre, it was unsightly of him to let his temper off its leash before the woman he already forgiven. He should have remembered too, that Ranni was not…she had yet to fully settle, yet to fully forgive herself for his death, even if she spoke of being well hale now.
He left his washroom on silent feet. At least she had decided to stay in his quarters within the palace last night. He had expected her to return to Caria, truly, he had expected her to be within the walls of her tower study, researching some new topic. She did not do well when he held anger towards her, and had great need to distract herself. He lifted their covers carefully before joining her in their bed.
She did not wake, not fully, but her anguished mumbles of his name and her reaching, half-desperate hands, were nigh enough to make him cry. He gathered her to his side, rumbling a sigh as she wrapped him in lithe arms and legs. Her toes seemed to hold extra frost. Before he tucked her face to his neck, he saw the puffiness of long shed tears. He frowned. "I am here, sweet Starlight." he whispered into her hair. He slept fitfully in the low hours of the morn.
Owain awoke to sobs. Ranni? Was she hurt? He was up and held her behind her back before he had fully opened his eyes. He heaved a calming breath, no intruders did he see. He went to turn to his wife but was surprised by the force her slim arms put forth as they wrapped about his midriff. "Ranni?" he questioned hoarsely.
"Forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me," Her voice was a ragged rasp, a rolling, unceasing prayer. She did not even pause to breathe properly.
What? What was this? He shifted delicately in her hold, shocked at what he beheld. Ranni's eyes were wide and panicked, her hands wild as they moved to grasp his face. Why would she not stop begging forgiveness? No storm did he find, indeed, her gaze held dreadful emptiness that he'd not seen in many moons.
His hands came to her face as well, but his thumbs could not keep up with her heavy tears, "Ranni. What is-"
"Forgive me for-"
He kissed her gently, "You are forgiven, always, wife." he murmured. He ran slow caresses down her cascading curls, "Hush now, my heart. Peace now, my love." At last, her heaving lungs seemed to slow as she returned his kisses with desperate heat.
"Oh, my dear. I am undone, I am unmade without thee. Owain, do not leave me. Pray, stay with me, my lord." It was spooling again, this sudden frenzy. He clasped her to his chest, shifting to secure her fully into his lap and matching her breaths. She had told him once that holding her tightly aided her in calming herself.
They did not speak for a few soothing moments, though her hands did not loose their grip against him in the slightest, "Forgive me for my temper. I should not have treated you thusly. Never fear my leaving you, Ranni. You are the blood within my veins, the air within my lungs, and every thought within my thick head."
"Thou lovest me? Despite mine nature? Despite my viciousness?" she whispered scratchily into throat, a hand palming his cheek.
He hummed, "Your ferocity makes you all the more alluring."
"Thou wouldst stay hearted to me, to this unsightly beast within thy arms?" Unsightly beast? He had missed something, surely. It worried him greatly.
"To push you from my side would be to kill myself." He said into her curls.
Her nails scored lines into his back as she grasped him yet tighter. "I-I canst not escape mine holdin' hate without thee."
"You have me always, Starlight." he promised, hating the way she shook in his arms.
"I have thee ever more? Thou'rt mine? Thou shalt ne'er part from my side? Thou wouldst… choose me?" Her reaching hands stilled as she awaited his response with bated breath. Just what had happened whilst he'd been with Godwyn?
"Aye, evermore am I yours. Never shall we part. I made my choice many ages past. I did, I do, and I will always choose you, Ranni of Caria." He reared back to meet her eye, that she might see his sincerity. The leveling calm he found was reassuring.
He watched her breathe deeply, smoothly several times before replying, "This Sunbeam of mine shall ne'er scorch me." she whispered, "I am sorry, for not heeding thy request the night past. I should not hath disturbed thee."
Owain kept the frown from his face, kissing her temple instead, "All is forgiven."
"All?" She asked. She needed affirmation he did not resent her for his death then, for Godwyn's? He…he must set his anger aside. They would restore Godwyn, he would make sure of it.
"All." he vowed.
She kissed him sweetly before she leaned back, rubbing tiredly at her eyes. "I am with child." she mumured, face guarded.
Owain could not help his euphoria, despite their heavy talk. He swept her into his arms and raced about their rooms with whoops of happiness and twirls of joy. Ranni finally smiled as he shifted her to hold her astride his hips, her long legs wrapping about him tightly, "Such rays of light! Jubilation steals my wits! Our future is bright, darling."
She carded careful fingers through his hair, pressing a lingering kiss to his smiling lips, "Bright. Aye." she agreed, voice soft.