[Scene: Neffy's starlab in Palo Alto. Neffy sets down the spyglass and pulls out a new purplish watery orb.]
Jeddy: What's happening?
Neffy: They've turned Thetis.
Jeddy: That's impossible. She can't break her oath of obedience to Metalia.
Neffy: Yeah? Well apparently is possible if Thetis doesn't actually believe she is breaking her oath. So they've scrambled up her brain to make her think Metalia and her kids are all one big happy family.
Jeddy: Could they do that to us?
Neffy: Hell no. We're protected by thousands of years of Dark Magic and our minds are not as simple as a youmas. Which at this particular moment might not be such a good thing.
[He slumps down in his throne]
[Jeddy drops the watery purplish orb back into the eyepiece]
[Back in the Dark Kingdom: The youma are gathered behind the Heltry Twins as Thetis shows them the plans for Metalia's Inferno]
Thetis: This entire region is a magic free zone. No spells can be cast here by anyone. No offensive spells, no defensive spells, no levitation, no teleportation.
Dev: That does make things interesting.
Thetis: The outer parameter is surrounded by a human army with the latest in modern weaponry. They've been ordered to shoot you on sight.
El: Then we'd better not let them see us.
Thetis: Beyond is a six foot thick wall of solid steel. The only way in a through the vault door.
Dev: Which you've said you can open?
Thetis: Correct. But once it is open, only one of you can go through.
El: Forget that!
Dev: We go through together. We travel as a pair. Always.
Thetis: If you go through together, you will release hundreds of half starved hyena and arm the miles of death traps in the chamber beyond it.
El: Is that all?
Dev: You made it sound so serious.
Thetis: ...please keep in mind nobody can use magic.
Dev: [sulks] Well that's a disappointment. I was hoping this would be somewhat of a challenge.
El: [Giggles] Yeah. Me too!
[Jeddy looks away from the spyglass]
Jeddy: They're on their way to breach Metalia's defenses. They think it will be a walk in the park for them.
Neffy: Sadly, I don't doubt it.
Jeddy: So what are we going to do?
Neffy: [covers his face] Bury our heads in the sand and pretend this isn't happening.
Jeddy: I thought you were going to teleport in and save the day?
Neffy: That was before they brainwashed our entire army.
Jeddy: So what? I'm the Master of Illusion! I'll just brainwash them all back!
Neffy: That sounds like a great idea. If you can think of a way to do it without attracting the attention of the two little tykes with their Shitennou splattering weaponry.
Jeddy: Oh. Right. Forgot about that...
[Jeddy looks through the spyglass. Sees nothing]
Jeddy: I don't see anything.
Neffy: [looks up at the rapidly fading starmap] They've probably already entered the magic-free zone.
Jeddy: There must be something we can do.
Neffy: Against thousands of Youma? Without using magic? If we try to stop them, they'll kill us. If we don't try to stop them, Metalia will kill us. No matter what happens now, we're screwed.
[Neffy buries his face in his hands]
Neffy: Our best hope for survival is for them to actually pull this off and kill Metalia, but we can't know about it, or the Unbreakable Oath of Obedience will force us into action.
[Waves his hands and all the trackers go black]
Jeddy: Good thing Metalia didn't know about these trackers. She thinks you're just jerking off somewhere
[Neffy looks up, smiling]
Neffy: That's right! She doesn't know about the trackers! I can plead ignorance! [laughs maniacally]
Jeddy: ...except you bragged to Beryl about them, which is pretty much the same as telling Metalia.
[Neffy stops laughing and buries his face in his hands again]
Neffy: No. It's worse. After the Endymion Debacle, Beryl's only joy in life is in snitching.
Jeddy: There must be something we can do!
Neffy: [stands wide-eyed] Wait. There is.
[Neffy stroll over to a hidden vault]
Neffy: I've been saving this for a rainy day.
[He opens the vault revealing an ancient bottle of cognac and a couple of glasses.]
[He places them on a table, fills the glasses and gestures to Jeddy]
Neffy: [drains a glass] Bottoms up.
Jeddy: You're drinking on the job! Metalia will kill you!
Neffy: Yes. I know. Why do you think I'm drinking.
Jeddy: That's your answer to this? You're just going to get drunk?
Neffy: Do you have a better idea?
Jeddy: I can't think of a worse one!
Neffy gestures to the glasses once more and when Jeddy doesn't budge, he finishes Jeddy's drink, knocks the glasses off the table and starts drinking out of the bottle.
Jeddy: You're a disgrace.
Neffy: You think so? Well, let's hear your plan?
Jeddy: I...I... I might think of something...but in the meantime, I'm going to hold onto whatever is left of my dignity.
[He teleports away]
Neffy: Fool. [Takes another swig]
[Meanwhile, in Seattle. The C'est La Vie gang is sitting vigil over Mamoru's bedside while Usagi clutches his hand.]
[The door opens and Minako enters]
Usagi: Minako, I'm glad you're here-
Minako: Shoo, bitches. Mamoru and I need to talk in private.
Usagi: You can't. He's-
[Mamoru eyes open and he sits up]
Mamoru: Minako! It was Zoi! He attacked me and tried to kill me! Everyone keeps saying it was a gas explosion! But it wasn't! It was Zoi! Metalia must have brainwashed everyone who was conscious, but I know it was him! You were right about him! He's a soulless monster! I've been waiting for you so I could tell you before someone erases my mind as well!
Usagi: No, that's not right he-
Minako: I said leave!
[Usagi and the C'est La Vie Gang give Minako and Mamoru a look of concern, but file out, closing the door behind them.]