[Scene: A hospital in Seattle. Minako is standing by Mamoru's bedside and staring that the door to make sure it is closed]

Mamoru: Minako, Zoi tried to kill me. He needs to die.

Minako: Yes, I heard the first time. [turns to face him] And actually, I already knew that. Artie was there and he saws the whole thing. How the Death Phantom crashed Zoi's party, how Zoi went crazy and tried to kill everyone, how the Heltry Twins showed up and put everyone on ice-

Mamoru: The Heltry Twins?

Minako: Hey, I was just as surprised as you are!

Mamoru: Who are the Heltry Twins?

Minako: Oh, no. Not you too!

Mamoru: [shakes his head] I don't know who they are. I've been so busy I've been out of the loop.

Minako: New freshman transfers from England...a boy and a girl...both incredibly good looking...

[Mamoru keeps shaking his head]

Minako: Oh for the love of God, manbitch! You dated one of them!

Mamoru: Really? Which one?

Minako: THE GIRL! Eleanor Heltry!But her brother Devon Heltry looks exactly like Fiore! Ring any bells now?

Mamoru: No. But my memory has never been the best. Not since the accident.

Minako: Whatever. It's not important...according to Kunzite they are pure evil, and insanely powerful, and must be stopped at any cost.

Mamoru: How are we supposed to stop them? We can't even stop the Death Phantom.

Minako: The Death Phantom is dead. Taken out by the Heltry Twins. But according to Kunzite they are just as bad, if not worse.

Mamoru: What? But if they killed the Death Phantom that means they are our friends, right?

Minako: Sadly, I've used my True Sight on them and they really are evil.

Mamoru: Great...

Minako: Kunzite's proposed an truce, seeing how it appears we have a common enemy-

Mamoru: WHAT?

Minako: I'm sorry you feel that way, because I already agreed to it.

Mamoru: NO! WE'RE NOT MAKING A TRUCE WITH THE SHITENNOU!

Minako: What's more, I say we push for a more active role in this alliance-

Mamoru: NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THAT!

Minako: Yeah, I worried Kunzite wouldn't believe it either. So I used my acting chops and told him that Artie voted in his favor, for the greater good and all that happy bullcrap...Long story short, the big dope fell for it-

Mamoru: MINAKO! HOW COULD YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT BERYL DID TO ME! I'D RATHER DESTROY THE WORLD MYSELF THAN HELP THE SHITENNOU DO ANYTHING!

Minako: Oh, calm down. We're going to meet with Kunzite. We're going to talk strategy. Then then when he least expects it...we're going to pull out our big long knives and stab him in right in the back!

[Mamoru's jaw drops]

Minako: Of course, the big question is, who should die first? Zoi or Kunzite.

Mamoru: [grinning manically] Zoi dies first. And I want to be the one to kill him.

Minako: Oh? Payback time?

Mamoru: Not at all. I want to see the look on Kunzite's face when he finds out I've killed the only person he has ever truly loved.

[The door burst open and the C'est La Vie gang and Usagi come tumbling in.]

Rei: Oh, HELL NO!

Minako: Bitches, stay out of this and let me and Endymion do all the dirty work.

Rei: The hell I will!

Ami: You need to stop.

Makoto: This petty vengeance thing has gone too far already.

Usagi: This isn't you! You need to go back to being the sweet, loving, happy people I used to know!

Minako: Petty vengeance? Kunzite murdered us and got away with it!

Usagi: I can forgive Kunzite for being a murderer! But I can't forgive him for hardening your heart and turning you into a dark person!

Minako: Kunzite is a genocidal maniac. He needs to face justice.

Rei: By killing his boyfriend?

Minako: Yes.

[The other girls stare at Minako is horror]

Makoto: You've been looking forward to this for a while, haven't you?

Rei: You've just been waiting for an excuse.

Minako: It's the best way to make him feel the gravity of his many horrific crimes.

Ami: We're not going to let you do something like that.

Makoto: This is not why we became Guardians. We took an oath to protect the innocent.

Minako: Oh, please! That thing calling itself Zoi is no innocent. He's a Shitennou

Rei: He's also OUR FRIEND! And he wasn't even around during the Silver Millennium! Killing him wouldn't be justice. It would be MURDER!

[The other girls nod enthusiastically]

Minako: Have you bitches forgotten that the whole reason that we are here is because Zoi tried to murder Endymion after he'd been nothing but nice to him?

Usagi: [crying and talking a mile a minute] No! That's not what happened! You weren't there! I was! The Death Phantom was using us as hostages and was threatening to kill us one by one! Zoi did what he had to do in order to escape, and because he did nobody died! And it was me he tried to kill, not Mamo, but only because the Death Phantom was trying to rip my arms out of my sockets. He aimed that spear at my heart but Mamo leapt in front of me-

[Usagi notices everyone is staring at her]

Usagi: What?

Rei: You said that Mamo got hurt in a gas explosion.

Usagi: [blushes] Yeah, he did but...um... no he didn't...I'm...um...starting to remember things a little differently...its slowly coming back to me...

Rei: Slowly coming back to you?

Minako: Who are you? Or should I say, what are you?

[Ami pulls out her smartphone]

Usagi: Um...I just remember I have homework to do. Bye.

[She turns to bolt and sees Makoto blocking the door]

Ami: According to what I can see, she's Usagi Tsukino, completely human and normal.

Minako: Yes, well I might have some deeper insight.

[Minako pulls her makeup compact out of her purse]

Usagi: [sweating bullet] Um...guys I really need to do my homework.

[Tries to push past Makoto]

[Minako opens her mirror and nearly drops it when she sees Usagi in it wearing a tiara and a white princess gown]

Minako: Selenity?

Mamoru: Selenity?

Everyone: PRINCESS SELENITY?

Usagi: [downcast and chewing her thumb] Yeah, guys. It's me.