[Scene: An outpost in the middle of the desert. Hundreds of soldiers are guarding a ziggarat that would't appear on any map. Oddly, a thick fog had surrounded the site, but the men remain with their sandbags and artillery.]
[A nay blue haired woman in a business suit steps out of the mist, hold a pair of huge briefcases.]
[The men all salute.]
Thetis: Greetings, gentlemen. I've come to tell you your services will no longer be required.
[Goes to a war-table and opens up the briefcase, revealing tightly wrapped stacks of hundred dollar bills.]
Thetis: Take as much as you think you are owed, and then go, but leave your weapons behind.
Human Commander: No can do, ma'am. You don't have the proper authorization to dismiss us.
Thetis: [raises her brows] Have you forgetton who hired you?
Human Commander: Negative, ma'am. But I've been instructed only to take orders from Dr. Metalia and her children.
Thetis: But I represent Dr. Metalia.
Human Commander: Respectfully, ma'am, not in this specific instance.
Thetis: [surveys the hundreds of human soldiers] And I assume he speaks for all of you?
[silence]
Human Commander: Affirmative ma'am.
[Thetis sighs and closes the briefcases]
Thetis: Very well. I'd hoped to resolve this without bloodshed, but if you won't be bought off, I guess you need to be killed off.
[The fog clears, revealing thousands of youma]
[The men react in terror at the sudden appearance of an army of monsters. They drop their weapons, trembling in terror.]
Thetis: Care to take another look at what is in the briefcase?
[Meanwhile, in a hospital in Seattle.]
[Mamoru and the C'est La Vie gang are standing gapejawed in surprise as Usagi admits she is Princess Selenity.]
[When they recover their wits they genuflect as best they can.]
[All but Rei, who strides up to Usagi and backhands her.]
Mamoru: [to Rei] HEY!
Minako: [to Rei] Yeah! HEY, bitch!
Usagi: It's ok.
Rei: No! It's not ok! How long have you known you were Selenity?
Usagi: A while.
Rei: A while? What is that? Days? Weeks?
[Usagi looks down, sheepishly]
Usagi: Since the eighth grade.
All: WHAT?
Makoto: Why didn't you say something?
Usagi: Like what? Junior High is rough enough without going around saying a cat told me I am a moon princess-
Minako: We mean RECENTLY! Like right about the time we started risking our asses to save the gooddamned planet!
Usagi: You didn't want to talk to me. You guys were off in your own little world. You didn't want my help.
Ami: This is because we thought you were a normal human girl and didn't want to put you in danger.
Usagi: That shouldn't matter! Everyone can help out if they try hard enough! It's not nice to exclude people just because you think they are weaker than you!
Makoto: Not weaker. More fragile. This was hard enough as it was without putting our friends in danger.
Minako: Besides! You should have stepped up to the plate, you royal harlot! You are the moon princess! Why did I have have to give all the unpopular orders and keep these bitches in line? You should have been finding a way to save people from the Death Phantom instead of stuffing your face with milkshakes and onion-rings at the Crown!
Usagi: Why? What good would it have done? It's not like I have my powers anymore!
[The room goes silent for a full minute]
Ami: You've lost your healing powers?
Usagi: [blushing] Well not lost, exactly. I transferred them all to Endymion. A few hours before we all died.
Minako: WHAT?
Ami: HOW?
Makoto: WHY?
Rei: You were the Moon Princess and he was a slave! What would possess you to do something that idiotic!?
[Usagi starts bawling]
Usagi: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! ENDYMION WAS BERYL'S SLAVE! SHE WAS DOING HORRIBLE THINGS TO HIM! THINGS I STILL DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND! BUT WE HAD A TRUCE WITH METALIA! IF MAMA FOUND OUT I WAS HIDING HIM IN MY ROOM SHE WOULD HAVE SENT HIM BACK TO EARTH! IF HE HAD ALL MY POWERS SHE WOULD HAVE TO KEEP HIM ON THE MOON UNTIL I COULD CONVINCE EVERYONE TO LET HIM STAY!
[The others stare at her]
Makoto: [smiles] So the slave boy stays, the Queen avoids a diplomatic incident, and all because the naive little princess only did it because she's a dumb little bunny...
Minako: Damn, girl! You're stupid like a fox!
Usagi: [taking it as a compliment] Thanks...Besides, I didn't tell you guys because back on the Moon you were always at my beck and call. I wanted you to have normal lives.
Rei: Does this look like we have normal lives?
Usagi: I meant with boyfriends, husbands, families... and I wanted you to like me if I was plain Usagi instead of a princess...but I guess you didn't...
[Her eyes sweep past all of them as she says this, but linger longest on Mamoru.]