[Scene: Zoi's backyard. Kunzite has Minako trapped in a dome of dark energy.]
Zoi: Kunzite! [his cheeks color with a joyous blush.]
[Minako crosses her arms over her chest]
Minako: I suppose you are here to kill me again.
Kunzite: No. I'm here to talk.
Zoi: What! Why? Kill her!
Kunzite: [to Zoi] I thought she was your friend.
Zoi: She was...until all that peroxide cooked her brains and made her go crazy.
Kunzite: She's not crazy. She just needs to listen to reason.
Zoi: [pouting] Good luck with that.
[Kunzite waves his hand and conquer Zoi off the roof to stand by him. Zoi leans into him, and Kunzite puts his arm around him and draws him close.]
Kunzite: Minako. Zoisite and I are not your enemies.
Minako: [snorts] If you actually believe that. You've got a very different definition of "enemy" than the rest of us.
Kunzite: I know that what happened a millennium ago on the Moon is still very fresh in your mind.
Minako: You better believe it.
Kunzite: You're upset about that. And you have every right to be-
Minako: Gee! Thank you for giving me permission to be upset about my OWN MURDER! You can't imagine how much YOUR APPROVAL means to me!
Kunzite: You must understand why I acted as I did. It was purely within the line of duty. You were an enemy combatant and I had to use whatever means necessary to protect my Queen from a hostile Monarch who had stated intention an intention of sealing her away for all eternity.
Minako: Because Metalia is PURE EVIL! EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER DONE HAS BEEN IN THE NAME OF EVIL! And since you do her bidding like some mindless donkey, THAT MAKES YOU EVIL AF, YOURSELF, JACKASS!
Kunzite: Possibly. But I'm not your sworn enemy.
Minako: For real? Wow. My eyes rolled so far on that one I think I just lost a contact in the back of my skull.
Kunzite: In your previous life, the Children of Metalia had a good reason to kill the Guardians of the Moon. In this one she does not.
[Glances at Zoi then back at Minako]
Kunzite: I'd advise you tell your little scouts to do your best not to stir up trouble where none exists.
Minako: Where none exists? MAN-BITCH over there tried to SLAUGHTER a room full of INNOCENT people who were just trying to wish him a Happy Birthday! HE HAS TO DIE!
Zoi: Um, Kunzite? I should warn you-Minako's a bit [twirls a finger near his ear] at the moment.
Kunzite: Zoisite did what he had to do to save those people from The Death Phantom.
Zoi: [taken aback] Wai-what?
Minako: [scoffs] Yeah. Whatever. Zoi fired first!
Kunzite: The Death Phantom was using those people as hostages. There was no way to resolve that matter without bloodshed.
Minako: Maybe, but your little boytoy didn't even try!
[Zoi's whipping his head around like a tennis match, trying to make sense of what they are saying.]
Kunzite: How do you know about that? I didn't see you at the hotel.
Minako: Artemis was there. He saw everything.
Kunzite: So, your Mauian adviser was reborn in this age as well?
Minako: No. He stayed dead. He's wandering around as a ghost for over a thousand years. He doesn't even remember which one of you it was that murdered him.
Kunzite: [smiles and looks down demurely] Well, to be perfectly honest, neither do I.
Minako: Wow. For real, dude? You really need to work on your people skills!
Kunzite: [somber] Artemis was a wise man. The next time you speak with him, ask him if he has any doubts that the Death Phantom would have killed everyone in that ballroom, so long as Zoisite was there to witness it.
Zoi: [wideyed and stricken] Why are you saying these things to Minako? You don't believe they are true...do you?
Kunzite: Zoisite needed to find a way to escape. Regardless of the cost.
Minako: He hurled a javelin right through Mamoru! HE TRIED TO MURDER HIM!
Kunzite: [shakes his head strenly] No. He didn't.
[Zoi smiles at Kunzite for the confirmation]
Kunzite: He never tried to murder Mamoru Chiba. He tried to murder Usagi Tsukino. Mamoru Chiba just happened to jump in the way.
Zoi: WHAAAAAAT? But...that's even worse! Don't you see that's worse?
[Breaks away from Kunzite and paces around in a despondent fashion.]
Kunzite: Zoisite most likely suffered a very brief psychotic break, brought on by extreme stress.
Zoi: Not helping!
Kunzite: But there IS an ongoing threat to you and everything you hold dear. We need to form an alliance.
Minako: An ALLIANCE? With YOU? [laughs shrilly] I certainly hope you are trying to be funny! But then again, if this was a joke, I'd already be dead for launching an attack against your boytoy, isn't that right?
Kunzite: [looks down demurely] Possibly.
Minako: Geez louise, I liked you better when you were a lying manipulative snake!
Zoi: [pacing around] ...oh, my god... I...attacked Usagi and almost killed Mamoru Chiba...and I don't even remember doing it...
Kunzite: That's because you had all your memories of yesterday wiped from your mind by Eleanor and Devon Heltry.
Zoi: ...you mean Minako's imaginary plant friends...are actually real? But...if...she's not crazy...that must mean...I am...
Kunzite: The Heltry Twins wiped away all your memories of the two of them, as well.
Zoi: [pie eyed] But-...we need to talk about this later...
Kunzite: [To Minako] And that's what I've come here to warn you about. The Heltry Twins.
Minako: I dunno. Isn't the enemy of my enemy my friend and all that?
Kunzite: They are not your friends. They insanely powerful, completely evil, and thoroughly sick in the head. And they are children. Just coming into their power. God help us all if they manage to reach adulthood.
Minako: You say that, but they saved a room full of people and killed the Death Phantom, which as far as I'm concerned was doing this whole planet a solid.
Kunzite: They weren't doing that out of the kindness of their hearts. They were doing it because they thought it would be fun to thwart and murder a god. I think they intend to kill everyone more powerful than they are. Because once they do, they will be unstoppable. Use your powers of True Sight and you will see they are made up of pure evil.
Minako: Already did it and so what? You're made up of pure evil too.
Kunzite: Yes, my point exactly.
Minako: And yet, I still went out with you for nearly seventeen months.
Kunzite: And how did that work out for you?
Minako: [scowls] Name one truly evil thing they've done.
Kunzite: They steal things, blow up houses, commit murders-
Minako: Name one truly evil thing they've done to someone I actually care about.
Kunzite: The girl used her power to get Usagi Tsukino grounded so she could steal her boyfriend.
Minako: And she failed, and Usagi used that time to improve her grades, so who is the victim?
Kunzite: After she failed, the two of them took a bat to Mamoru Chiba's car.
Minako: THEY did that to Mamoru? ...Oh, that bitch...wait...[giggles]...actually I should thank her for that, since Mamoru has to give me rides some time and I look way hotter on the back of his vintage hog than calling shotgun in that broken down hoopty-
Kunzite: This is nothing to laugh about. They are sick in the head! They lie and they steal and they do bad things I won't go into for the sake of your youth! Today they think it is fun to kill a god! Tomorrow they might think it's fun if everyone on this planet has three heads! And they will have that power someday! Unless I stop them! All I ask is that you stay out of out way!
Minako: Hmmm...[opens her compact]...Well Artie, what do you think.. should I stay out of their way? For the greater good, and all that...[face falls] ...really? Well, ok, you're the boss. [snaps the compact shut]
Kunzite: I assume he sees reason?
Minako: Yeppers. So I guess this means 'truce'. But this isn't over between us. Not by a longshot.
Kunzite: I'm not asking you to get involved, but if you end up fighting them, take them out one at a time, not together. They are able to pool their energy and when they do, they both have god level power.
Minako: Good to know. Now...can you take down the orb so I can be on my way?
[Kunzite dispells the orb, then catches Minako by the wrist as she comes screaming at him with a dagger of white light.]
Minako: Hey. You can't blame a girl trying to get in one last parting shot.
[Kunzite pushes her back and she saunters away]
Zoi: Kunzite? What was all that about?
Kunzite: [puts his arm around Zoi and pulls him close] Come with me. You need to stay with Mother for the next few days so that I can keep an eye on you both.