[Scene: A lavish underground bunker made up to look like the cabana of a five star resort in the middle of a rainforest. Jeddy is sitting at a coffee table reading a Party City catalog while youma servants wander at Metalia's beck and call. Metalia stands around and sulks, in her Mary Worth guise.]

[Thetis walks up to Jeddy's table in a sexy waitress costume, holding a drink tray]

Thetis: I made you a drink. I hope it is to your liking.

Jeddy: [doesn't look up from his reading] Put it on the table.

[Thetis puts down the table and gives Jeddy a forlorn look before walking away.]

Metalia: How long do you expect me to stay down here?

Jeddy: Kunzite said we have to keep you safe until the Half Sues show themselves and we eliminate them from existence.

Metalia: Your sister said they are time travelers. They might not show themselves for another thousand years. Or at all. That might be their whole plan. To burrow me away like some small earth mammal or termite queen while all the lesser beings laugh at me for hiding from a pair of children. Has your brother thought of that?

Jeddy: [Gets out a pen to circle some costumes] Yes he has, Mother. But he said that until he tracks down and exterminates the Half Sues, he's not going to take any chances with your safety.

Metalia: [shakes her head] He never was bright. And now that he's found his little slut, he can hardly think at all.

Jeddy: [looks up from his catalog] Maybe you should think about demoting him, and promoting Beryl in his place?

Metalia:[scoffs] Feh! That will be the day! If I put the girl in charge, you can bet the rest of you will be dead within a month. Probably over some college boy. [shakes her head and mutters under her breath] Idiots. You're a bunch of idiots. Only Nephrite has any sense anymore. I'd consider him if he could manage to set down his scotch glass and his hand mirror for long enough to focus on anything but himself. No. For now I'd say Kunzite is the best of a bad lot. How I wish I'd invested more time and found smarter children.

Thetis: [places a fruity drink in front of Metalia] Intelligent children tend not to make the best slaves.

Metalia: [to Jeddy] I should put her in charge. She's smarter than the rest of you put together. Pity I've made her to be little more than a puppet.

[In a flash of magenta, Kunzite appears with Zoi at his side]

Kunzite: [lowing bow] Your Excellency.

[Zoi looks at Kunzite and after a moment's hesitation, gives a half bow as well. Metalia sneers.]

Kunzite: [puts his hand on Zoi's shoulder] I've brought Zoisite to stay here with us, Mother.

Metalia: And why should that please me?

Kunzite: Because these... Impossible Children have...unfinished business with him, and our quarry might use magic to seek him out. If they do, it will trigger a magic tracker Nephrite set which will lead us to them.

Metalia: [Bitter] How thoughtful. I don't suppose you two imbeciles thought to include a tracker if they try to find *MY* location as well?

Kunzite: Of course, Mother. We did that from the start. You safety is our first and foremost concern. I felt it went without saying.

Metalia: I still like to hear it.

Kunzite: Of course, Mother. Please forgive my lack of attentiveness.

[Zoi rolls his eyes a little, which Metalia does not fail to notice.]

[Thetis approaches Kunzite with a drink tray and he waves her away then holds up a roll of blueprints.]

Kunzite: Nephrite, Beryl and I have finished drafting up the defenses-

Metalia: Where IS your sister, by the way?

Kunzite: She's in her apartment in Paris-

Metalia: [In an oddly menacing way] Go get her and bring her here.

Kunzite: Come, Zoisite.

[Kunzite places his hand on his shoulder.]

Metalia: Alone. The monkey stays here.

[Kunzite's eyes glimmer for just a moment as he removes his hand from Zoi's shoulder and gives him a peck on the lips.]

Kunzite: I'll be right back.

Metalia: No you won't. Stay away for at least three minutes.

Kunzite: [eyes glimmer as he bows solemnly] Yes, Mother.

[He vanishes in a flash of purple, and Metalia transforms into a smoke Naga the moment he is gone.]

Metalia: You thinkkkkk you're sssssomething sssspecial, don'tttt you?

Zoi: Um...no?

Metalia: Let'ssss get ssssomething clear. I don't like you. I have never liked you, and I will never like you. You think you're hot sssstuff just becaussssse you ssssseduced my sssson and he convincccced me to elevate you to a Sssssshitennou. You proved yoursssself by murdering ssssix men, but any judge would rule that sssself defensssse, which ruinssssss your ssssuitabily. No. I did not raisssse you from the dead becausssss you have the heart of a killer. I only did it only becaussssse Kunzzzzzite made it perfectly clear he would be uselessssss without you!

[Metalia advances on Zoi while Zoi backs away. Jeddy looks up briefly from circling costumes and ducks down.]

Metalia: But now I'm ssssstarting to see he's equally worthlessssss when you are together. I'm sssstarting to ssssssee I made a missssstake. A misssssstake I intend to correct right now.

[A catscradle of energy appears between her hands]

Metalia: That'sssss right monkey. I'm going to kill you. I'm going kill you right now. By the time my sssson returnssssss you will be a ssssmoking corpsssssse. He knowssss thissss, and he left you anyway. And you know what he will do about it? NOT A DAMN THING!

Thetis: [comes by with her tray] I wouldn't if I were you, my Queen.

Metalia: [dispells the arc of energy] Oh, why issss that?

Thetis: Because seeing his husband's corpse will stress out Lord Kunzite, and Lord Kunzite doesn't do his best thinking when he is stressed. And he is the only one of your children who has studied the principles behind time travel.

Metalia: [assumes Mary Worth form] Hand me that tray.

[Thetis hands her the drink tray and Metalia spills the drinks off it before she uses it to backhand Thetis with it.]

Metalia: You forget your place, slave! Kunzite is First Among Kings. I will not have a lowly creature like you speaking so glibbly about your betters!

Thetis: [unfazed as she drops into a bow and wipes a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth] Forgive me majesty. I spoke out of turn. I intend no disrespect against his divine lordship.

[Thetis recovers the tray, piles the broken glass on it and leaves. Jeddy doesn't even look up from his magazine to watch her go, though Zoi's eyes are as large as saucers and he looks as if he's fighting the urge to run after her to comfort her.]

Metalia: She is right, though...I guess you're spared... for now.

[Kunzite and Beryl appear in a flash of purple. Beryl bows.]

Beryl: You have need of me, Mother?

Metalia: No. I changed my mind. Go away.

Beryl: [bows again] As you wish, Mother.

Metalia: On second thought stay. I enjoy your obedience.

Beryl: [bows a third time] It gladdens my heart to hear it.

Metalia: As well it should.