A/N: As I said, we will be addressing that.

BUT WAIT! Before you dig in, one of my wonderful readers brought this tidbit to my attention; last chapter's flashback paragraphs were from Chapter 2 - Numbered Days. If you don't remember them very well and want to get the full emotional content for this chapter, go give Ch 2 a quick reread, 'cause there's a few things in there we're going to really reference hardcore in this chapter.

Happy (re)reading!

Appendix E

Section D

Alex, Age 18

That Which Time Cannot Change

It was late and dark out by the time they edged up on Des Moines. It had been a quiet trip, with only a few brief, utilitarian exchanges. They were both tired, and they let that fact hide what really kept them quiet. It had worked for nearly five hours.

Dean wasn't sure how long he'd been counting mile markers, but he couldn't seem to stop, even though each one twisted another knot in his stomach. She was getting farther away with every little, green sign.

"Ten years." The words were oddly loud in the silence.

Sam had been starting to drift toward sleep, but his brother's words pulled him back to the waking world. He looked over, curious. "Ten years?"

"Ten years since she's been away from us for longer than a sleepover," Dean elaborated.

Sam looked back out the windshield. "Yeah. It's going to be an adjustment."

"I just keep thinking…," Dean hesitated, briefly reconsidering allowing his thoughts into the open, but they were already forcing their way out. "I keep thinking about the last time we left her for this long."

Sam's mouth twitched in a bitter smile. "Thank God it's not just me." He glanced down at his knees with a laugh that was as much an expression of relief as it was of sadness. When he returned his gaze to the window, he said, "Watching Jenna pull her back to her dorm… it was like watching Pam carry her into their house."

They sat in the aftermath of the memory given voice. They had never really talked about what had happened that weekend so long ago. When Alex had been gone, it was too painful to acknowledge. After they got her back, what was the point of discussing the experience? But here it was, rising to the surface and suddenly relevant.

And with it came an old ache. And for Dean, an overwhelming sense of guilt. He closed his eyes briefly from the discomfort.

"I'm sorry, Sammy," he said.

Sam looked at his brother again. "For what?"

"For making you do that all alone," said Dean. "It was… selfish. I should have just bucked up and taken her. Or at least gone with you."

Sam gave the tiniest scoff of disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. He couldn't believe he had just heard Dean make this particular apology. More than that, he was struck by how much he had wanted to hear it for the past sixteen years without even realizing.

"No, Dean." Sam shook his head slowly. "It wasn't selfish. I mean, it wasn't easy for me either, I didn't want to be alone for that, but… I could see what it was doing to you. And I wasn't going to force you to suffer even more than you already were."

Dean didn't look over; he couldn't. Instead he stared at the road. "You're a good brother, Sam."

"Hey, you would have done it for me, too," Sam said. "I mean, that's what we do, right? That's why we're still alive. When one of us can't fight any more, the other takes up the charge."

Dean smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, that's right."

Then his face fell.

"How's Alex going to survive without that?" he asked.

Sam shrugged. "I don't think she is without it. We've talked about this before, but now I actually believe my own argument. That Jenna…."

Then Dean chuckled. "Oh, she is a spitfire."

Sam laughed, too. "Yeah. Wow. She is just a little bit terrifying."

"Like, she seems scrappy," Dean continued, "but I don't even care if she can fight. She can cause enough noise and chaos to distract whatever monster they're up against so Alex can get the jump on it."

"Seriously," Sam agreed, grinning.

"And hey, maybe Alex can teach her a few things," Dean added.

"Probably," said Sam. "She's definitely graduated from hunting school. I'd say she's qualified to give a couple lessons."

"Absolutely," said Dean. "Do you remember that time she got rushed by a demon and she just hunkered down like she was a boulder and it basically took out its own legs instead of tackling her?"

Sam laughed loudly at the memory. "Oh my God, I forgot that! That thing went flying. That would be a good one for Jenna."

"Hell, yeah," agreed Dean. "Low man wins. Low woman….

"… I'm going to miss hunting with her."

"Yeah," said Sam. "Me, too."

They became silent again, the rhythmic pounding of the Impala's engine filling the cab.

"It's not going to be like last time," Sam finally said. "This time we can call her, video chat, go visit. Hell, we could text her every day if we wanted. It'll be like she never left."

Dean's quiet reply was; "Then why does it feel the same?"

Sam thought for a moment, trying to grasp the logic behind the emotions that roiled in him, stirred up even more now by the tone of grief in his brother's voice that so closely echoed his own sentiments. His eyes searched what little of the road was illuminated by the headlights.

"Maybe because we know what it feels like to be without her?" he finally said. "And we never want to experience that again—in any way—because it was so awful the first time?"

"Yeah… that sounds about right," Dean agreed, wringing the steering wheel slightly.

But he knew it was more than that. All the talk of Jenna's vivacity and Alex's prowess in a fight had only reassured Dean for a few moments. It still made him restless to think that he wouldn't be there to protect her if something really nasty came to town. Of all the ways leaving her at college reminded him of giving her up all those years ago, this was not one of them. Before, handing her off to another family had meant she would be safe from the things that went bump in the night. Now she was a hunter; she was in the fight no matter where she was or whom she was with. And he couldn't kill a werewolf with a text message.

"Hey, Cas?" He couldn't stop himself.

There was a pause. Too long of a pause. Sam and Dean exchanged a look of confusion and concern.

"Cas?" Dean tried again.

There came a fluttering of wings.

"What?" the angel sounded tired and irritated.

"Good to see you, too, pal," said Dean.

"What is it?" said Castiel from the back seat. "I was in the middle of something."

"I just need to ask a small favor," said Dean, glancing in the rearview mirror. He opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped and looked in the mirror again. Then he twisted around in his seat to look at Cas… who was absolutely drenched in blood.

"Holy shit, Cas!" Dean shouted.

Sam turned around, too, given the extremity of his brother's reaction. "Oh my God!" he exclaimed upon seeing the state of the angel.

Cas rolled his eyes. "Do not be alarmed. None of it is my own."

"Still," Sam gulped.

"How the Hell did that happen?" Dean asked, already watching the road again.

"As I said, I was in the middle of something," replied Castiel. "What do you want? I am needed elsewhere."

Dean suddenly felt painfully silly for calling on him, so decided to make it quick. "We—we just dropped Alex off at college, and I was wondering if you could keep an eye on her, in case anything happens."

Castiel scoffed, and in that noise they could hear him shaking his head in exasperation. "As if you had to ask."

Then he was gone.

Dean gave a short, single cough of a chuckle, amused and heartened by the angel's sentiment. But then he had to blink slowly and shake his head as he suddenly remembered something he had completely forgotten; a late night meeting over eighteen years ago.

Dean wasn't sure what awoke him. His eyes opened slowly to reveal the interior of the hospital room, darkened but for the soft, warm glow of the evening light to make rounds easy on the overnight nurses. He was tucked in close behind Lisa: he had offered to take the available couch so she could spread out and relax on the bed, but she had insisted there was enough space for both of them. So initially, what he saw was mostly a mass of her dark hair, but he still got a sense of a presence in the room.

He lifted his head to peer around. Immediately he caught sight of a bedraggled, trench-coated man standing beside the hospital bassinet where Dean's newborn daughter slept. The angel stood stock-still with one hand just barely inside the plastic, looking down at the infant.

"Cas?" Dean whispered, still groggy.

"Hello Dean," said Castiel, never taking his eyes off Alex. His register and tone were low enough that he didn't have to whisper to be unobtrusive.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked.

"I had a moment to spare," said Cas. "I wished to see the child."

Cas had been gently brushing the top of Alex's tiny hand. She gave an uncoordinated but minute flail and managed to grab hold of his index finger. One of Castiel's rare but genuine smiles graced his face.

"She is exceptional," he said as if it were fact.

"Preachin' to the choir there, Cas," said Dean, his own smile beating out his exhaustion.

"I have been witness to so much chaos, death, and destruction in the last year and a half. This war is devouring multitudes of my brothers and sisters," said Castiel. "To see a new soul is a much needed respite. She gives me hope that even in the midst of desolation, life prevails."

Then he leaned closer to Alex and spoke quietly to her, "I will watch over you, Alexandra Winchester."

Then he was gone.

Dean watched the place where Cas had disappeared, too muddled by his weariness to quite comprehend what had happened. All he knew was he felt joy: subtle yet deep and very, very steady.

He turned his attention to his baby, tilting his head a touch to look through the plastic and determine if she was still comfortable. Alex was resting peacefully, as if she hadn't just met her first supernatural being. Reassured that she was safe and happy, Dean laid his head down and fell back to sleep.

Unaware of the memory his brother had just dredged up, Sam asked warmly from the passenger seat; "Feel better?"

Dean gave a short nod. "Yes I do."

A/N: Well, how about that? Lots and lots of comical Cas in this FanFic, and Deus Ex Machina Cas in one instance: how do we like a little bit of comical Cas and serious/emotional Cas for the first time in this lil' story?

Not to mention, that is the farthest back we've ever gone in this storyline so far.

…

So far….