I believe that when the hurting and the pain has gone
We will be strong, oh yes we will be strong
~ Tears for Fears, "I Believe"
"Onward and upward," was Wolf's favorite phrase to say during missions.
Ghost always wondered why he always seemed to default to that. He wondered how Wolf always managed to stay so cheerful even when things seemed dark. It was what he loved most about his Guardian: his ability to bring the sun wherever he went. He never questioned it though. Why would he? It was a good thing.
Then, during the Red War - during those harrowing days spent trekking the mountains, with no light and no reason to have hope - Ghost asked where they were going to go. Wolf had simply given him a shaky smile and said to him, "Nowhere to go but up, buddy. We can't dwell on where we are if we're going to get to where we're going." In that moment, it occurred to Ghost that Wolf was simply refusing to dwell on how hopeless things got, and instead focused on how to make things better, and in understanding that, Ghost immediately felt the reassurance he needed. How it took him that long to realize was beyond him, but what mattered was that he finally had his answer.
Ghost had already adored his Guardian, of course, but the way he managed to stay so positive and upbeat even in the worst of times... It made Ghost love him even more. Even when things seemed hopeless, he could always be counted on to make things better. Ghost felt safe with Wolf, knowing that as long as they were together, everything was going to be okay. He was a light in the darkness, a beacon of hope for the Last City. He hoped Wolf knew that. After all, in the years since the Red War, people had made it a point to tell him.
(He hoped Wolf knew he was loved.)
Of course, everyone has their limits. Ghost had hoped Wolf would never reach his.
He was deluding himself.
Petra Venj had asked Cayde-6 for help at the Prison of Elders. Cayde, in turn, had invited Wolf to join him. Ghost remembered how excited Cayde was to get back into the field and he especially remembered how excited Wolf was to be fighting alongside his Vanguard and mentor. The mission had started with Wolf and Cayde fighting and laughing alongside each other - two gunslingers having the time of their lives - and ended in tragedy. Cayde-6 died his final death in Wolf's arms, and Wolf...
Ghost felt Wolf break.
In typical Wolf fashion, he didn't cry, didn't allow himself to feel that grief, not when the light in Cayde's eyes dimmed for the last time, not when he was carrying his body back to the Tower for burial, not during the funeral, not once, but Ghost felt just how broken he was, and it hurt seeing those once bright blue eyes turn dull.
Of course, someone had to make Uldren Sov pay for what he had done, and like everything else, Wolf decided that that someone would be him.
(Except this wasn't like the other times Wolf insisted on shouldering the burden so that others wouldn't have to. He was heartbroken. He was angry, and worst of all, he was out for blood.)
Those months spent in the Reef had been the most terrifying of Ghost's life so far, not because of the danger — they had been in far worse conditions and had made it out alive — but because Ghost had spent that time getting to know a very different side of his Guardian. Wolf tore through the Reef like a whirlwind of destruction, leaving countless bodies and scorch marks in his wake.
Ghost knew his Guardian was not okay. He wanted Wolf to talk to him, to tell him how he felt, and most importantly, just how much Ghost was scared for him (and of him, though he refused to admit that, even to himself), but the words died before they could come out. Ghost wanted Uldren Sov to pay for what he did too, but not if it cost him his Guardian's soul.
(He wanted Wolf to realize that he was so very loved. That people needed him alive and well. That they couldn't lose him too.)
(But every time he tried to bring it up, the words died in his core. He knew Wolf would never hurt him but ... something about that cold rage masking heartbreak... Would Ghost even be heard in that storm of emotions?)
Only once Uldren laid dead at his Wolf's feet did they finally go home. Ghost was relieved. Maybe now, the healing process could begin.
(Ghost immediately realized he was deluding himself when he noticed Wolf staring blankly into space, blue eyes soulless and broken.)
Ghost finally asked Wolf if he was okay.
(Please, just talk to me. I'm here for you. I love you. You don't have to do this alone.)
Wolf looked up at Ghost and gently brushed his shell with his gloved hand. "I'll be fine," he had said with a smile. "Onward and upward, right?"
It should have made Ghost feel better, seeing his Guardian's smile for the first time in months. Light, he missed that smile…
(Except the smile didn't reach his eyes. It wouldn't for a long time.)
Ghost's shells tightened a bit as he leaned into Wolf's hand.
"Right…"
As part of introducing Ghost as an official POV character, I decided to go ahead and make this a proper prologue rather than a side bit at the very beginning. I think it's better like this hehe.