I know that I said in the very first chapter that every song included in this story would be from Phineas and Ferb.
Well, since this is the Christmas special, it's gonna be the exception, as they sing a lot of public domain Christmas songs. I've even decided to include some of the versions from the MWCA Christmas album.
Enjoy.
Play "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Theme"
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting with December 16. The pages convert into snowflakes as they slowly fall from the sky.
There are two wondrous weeks for our winter vacation
Before New Year's and School come to end it
Phineas and Ferb stand under the tree. They have multiple snowballs at the ready. They throw their snowballs at the camera.
So the holiday challenge for kids of all nations
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple winter-themed activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys sled down a ski ramp on a bed toboggan.
Turning our beds into dual toboggans
And sliding down a ski drop tower
Second, they build a giant snowman.
Third, they force the yeti into a shower. Neither of them enjoy that one.
Building a snowman the size of colossus
Or giving a yeti a shower
The boys then have a snowball fight against their friends. Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella are on one team. Buford, Baljeet, and Django are on the other. Isabella makes a snow angel in one of those snowballs.
After that, the gang go caroling around the neighborhood.
Then, Isabella wraps a present for Phineas.
Later, the boys just shovel the snow.
Staging a snowball fight with giant catapults and snow angels that really fly
Rocking a Christmas carol, wrapping a present, or just shovelling snow off the drive
"Hey, they can't all be fun," says Phineas.
The gang do multiple things, while Candace just watches them angrily.
Decorating a Christmas tree, with help from the yeti they gave a shower to.
Decorating a house for a neighbor.
Asking for money donations for charity.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do, and we're not gonna stall
Phineas, Ferb, and Perry pop out behind holes in a snowball-toss game. Candace tries to hit them with the snowballs.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities pass by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they strike a pose. Candace approaches them.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a Christmas special!" she shouts.
The boys brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 53
Family Christmas
"Ah, summer," Phineas admired. "Sunny, warm, some might say hot. It sure would be nice to cool off for a bit. Any ideas?"
Ferb showed a map of Antarctica.
"Well, a visit to Antarctica does sound cool," Phineas admitted. "I was thinking of a traditional family Christmas special."
Right as he said that, a group of men came into the backyard and created a set for a Christmas episode. They even gave Phineas and Ferb sweaters.
"That's more like it," Phineas smiled. "Hit it, fellas."
"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer announced. "The first annual Phineas and Ferb family Christmas, brought to you by Wintobreath Toothpaste. Tonight, celebrate the holidays with Phineas and Ferb and the whole Flynn-Fletcher family, with Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, Django, and special guest, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. Now, your hosts, Phineas and Ferb."
Phineas and Ferb started decorating the room to make it look all Christmas-y.
Play "Christmas is Starting Now"
Announcer:
Grab some holly and mistletoe
'Cause we're gonna go out tonight
We're gonna bask in the electric glow
Of a million little colored lights
Got a lot to do before the dawn
So with a minimum of introspection
I think you've better put your mittens on
Shake your jingle bell in my direction
Sometimes I feel like a big snowman
That's fallen under a plow
But tonight I'm on top of the world
We're gonna bring it around somehow
Christmas is starting now
Oh yeah, Christmas is starting now
That's right, Christmas is starting now
Oh yeah
You better hang those stockings on the wall
This is no time for procrastination
We gotta trim the tree and deck the hall
That's gonna be a celebration
Just a few short hours till Santa comes
So get ready for the big finale
We're going use night visions of sugar plums
And shake it like a bowl full of jelly
Sometimes I feel like a big snowman
That's fallen under a plow
But tonight I'm on top of the world
We're gonna bring it around somehow
Christmas is starting now
Oh yeah, Christmas is starting now
That's right, Christmas is starting now
Oh yeah, Christmas is starting now
That's right
Sometimes I feel like a big snowman
That's fallen under a plow
But tonight I'm on top of the world
We're gonna bring it around somehow
Christmas is starting now
Oh yeah, Christmas is starting now
That's right, Christmas is starting now
Oh yeah, Christmas is starting now
That's right, Christmas is starting now
Oh yeah, Christmas is starting now
Right now, yeah
End "Christmas is Starting Now"
Once the song was over, the boys were done decorating.
"Happy Holidays, everyone," Phineas waved at the camera. "Welcome to our family Christmas special. Come on in and put on a sweater, grab a hot cup of cocoa, and have a seat by one of those extras as we celebrate the holidays."
There was a knock on the door.
Ferb opened the door to reveal none other than Isabella.
"Whatcha doin?" she asked.
"Hey, Isabella," Phineas replied, blushing. "We were just preparing for Christmas.
"You know what I love most about this time of year?"
"No, tell us."
"It's the music, like this little number, 'Let it Snow'."
Play "Let it Snow"
Isabella:
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
The moment Isabella started singing, it was like Phineas was caught in a trance. Anything he was thinking about in that moment quickly faded away as he focused on listening to her sweet voice.
Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let is snow
It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I brought some corn for popping
The lights have turned way down low
Let it snow, let it snow, let is snow
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I hate going out in the storm
But if you really hold me tight
All the way home, I'll be warm
Well, the fire is slowly dying
And my dear, we're still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let it snow, let it snow, let is snow
Let it snow, let it snow, let is snow
Let it snow
End "Let it Snow"
The moment the song was over, Phineas applauded.
That's when Candace burst in.
"What is all this?" she asked. "Fake snow, fake house, and who are these people?"
She gestured to the few people in the corner.
"They're extras," Isabella replied.
"Not me," one of the extras, Carl, argued. "I've got a speaking part, but it's just this line, so it's pretty much over now."
"Appreciate it, Carl," Phineas smiled.
Candace noticed the kids' sweaters.
"Where'd you get those ugly sweaters?" she asked.
Nearby, the woman that stitched the sweaters was offended. "Hey!"
"It's Christmas, Candace," Phineas explained.
"Christmas in July?" Candace asked, dumbfounded.
"Why wait until the last minute?"
Candace finally noticed the camera. "Wait, are you filming this?"
"Actually, we're live."
"It's on TV right now?"
Candace turned on the nearby TV. The screen showed herself looking at a TV screen, which also showed Candace looking at a TV screen, creating an endless loop.
"I have to make a phone call," Candace smiled before running out.
"Candace Flynn, everyone," Phineas said to the audience. "Now for our next guess, a special friend… hey, where is Perry?"
Perry entered his lair.
"I'm sorry, Agent P," said Monogram. "Carl's an extra in some Christmas show, and I don't know what Doof is doing today. You know what? I'm just gonna send you over there blind. Good luck."
Perry saluted then left the lair.
Perry
"Mom!" Candace called Linda on the phone. "Phineas and Ferb are making Christmas in July!"
"Isn't that cute?" Linda remarked.
"Do you happen to be standing near a television?"
"I think there's a whole wall behind me."
"Would you please turn around and look at them for me?"
It took a moment for Linda to respond again. "You're right, I do need more toothpaste. Thanks for reminding me."
"No, wait!"
Linda hung up.
The boys brought Lawrence onto the set.
"Oh, how nice," Lawrence smiled. "A traditional Christmas special. As my granddad used to say, 'Lang may yer lum reek and whit's fur ye'll no go by ye'."
"What does that mean?" asked Isabella.
"I don't know, but it sounds festive."
That's when Candace came in. "You too, Dad?"
"Oh, hey," Phineas told Candace. "Since you're here, why don't you tell us what you want for Christmas?"
"You wanna know what I want? Well, I'll tell you."
Play "All I Want for Christmas is The Truth" - Parody of "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey
Candace (Stacy and Jenny):
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just wanna bust my bros
More than you could ever know
Give it to me soon
All I want for Christmas is…
For my mom to see the truth
Stacy and Jenny appeared on set as Candace continued the song.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's one thing I'm wishing for (Just one)
A holiday that's free of chaos
Robot dogs and dinosaurs
I don't want to see their faces
On a comet up in space
I can't even see shoelaces
Without visceral disgrace
I just want a new regime
Free of all their harebrained schemes
I'm long overdue
All:
All I want for Christmas is the truth
Ooh, baby
Candace (Stacy and Jenny):
I won't ask for much this Christmas
Just one thing to seal my fate (Just one)
I'd take it over Bettys tickets
Or misprint Ducky Momo plates
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
"Ha ha ha!" Candace laughed at herself. "Letters to Santa?!"
I'll just spend every waking minute
Watching them till it does the trick
I just want my mom to see
The root of my absurdity
I'll prove I'm not a loon
All:
All I want for Christmas is the truth
Ooh, baby
Jenny:
All the lights are shining so brightly everywhere
Candace:
And the smell of revelation fills the air
Stacy:
And everyone is singing
Candace:
My busting sense is tingling
Santa, if you're there
Won't you give a girl a chance?
'Cause I'm just so over this song and dance
Oh, I don't think it's too self-centered
Really, it's a mutual gain
Mom will save so much on her phone bill
Without getting calls all day
I just want to end this reign
The four seasons of emotional pain
Maybe in the reboot
All:
All I want for Christmas is…
Truth
"Also, maybe that rare misprinted Ducky Momo commemorative plate," Candace interrupted herself. "I know I said I want my brothers busted, but if I can't have that, the plate will suffice." Another idea popped into her head. "Or the extremely rare Ducky Momo First Edition green-pupil variant with a left-handed pull-cord? That'll do too. Also, I saw these super cute earrings in the mall, the purple ones with the white tips, that'll work."
End "All I Want for Christmas is The Truth"
"Okay, I think we all got the gist of that," Phineas butted in. "Anyone else wanna go?"
Doof was watching the Christmas special on TV. He felt a huge mix of emotions.
"Wait, what's going on here?" he reacted. "Is it Christmas already? What happened to Fall? I gotta get my Yuletide on, and fast!"
Doof got up and got to work.
Isabella saw that Phineas was sitting by the window, sadly.
"What's wrong, Phineas?" she asked.
"Everyone's gathered for Christmas, but Perry's not here," Phineas replied.
Isabella got concerned and turned to Ferb. "He knows it's not actually Christmas, right?"
"Every Christmas special needs a bit of forced drama," Ferb replied.
"Oh."
That's when they heard a knock on the door. Phineas answered. It was none other than the special guest, Vanessa.
"Happy Holidays, everyone," she smiled.
"Vanessa, could you sing us a song?" asked Isabella.
"Oh, you guys don't want to hear me sing."
"Yeah we do!" the crowd cheered.
"Well, I wasn't prepared for this," Vanessa said nervously. "But if you really want me to, then I guess I can sing."
Ferb offered Vanessa a microphone. She gladly took it and began the song.
Play "The Christmas Song"
Vanessa:
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos
Everybody knows a turkey and a mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight
They know that Santa's on his way
And he's got lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
There was a short instrumental break. Vanessa noticed one of the extras yawning during that time.
"What?" she asked. "Do you not like instrumental breaks, or do you not like me?"
They know that Santa's on his way
And he's got lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
End "The Christmas Song"
Ferb was the first to start applauding. Others followed soon after. Vanessa bowed.
"Oh, Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated," Doof sang to the tune of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'. "Oh, righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. My decorations are almost done."
Perry burst in. He saw the mistletoe and cautiously walked around it.
That's when Doof noticed Perry. "Oh, Perry the Platypus. How Noely of you." He trapped Perry in wrapping paper and garland. "For some reason, Christmas seems to have snuck up on me this year, and I'm a bit behind on my shopping, but I have a solution. Behold, the Transportinator, meant to instantly transport me to the stores while everyone else is circling around looking for a parking spot. It's not exactly evil, but slightly unfair. Let the last-minute shopping begin!"
Doof hit himself with the inator, transporting himself to a store.
A noise came from the chimney.
"Hey, who's that coming down the chimney?" asked Phineas.
The people that came down were Buford in a Santa costume and Baljeet in an elf costume. The little cardboard fire broke off.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Phineas," Baljeet apologized. "We seem to have broken your fire."
"That's alright," Phineas replied. "As long as you're here, how about a song?"
"Nah, one cameo appearance is enough for me," Buford replied, taking off his Santa costume. "I gotta get the nerd off of me."
"What? No," Baljeet said. "It has started snowing."
"Us Van Stomms aren't afraid of a little snow. In fact, this reminds me of a song."
Play "Buford, it is Cold Outside" - Parody of "Baby, it's Cold Outside"
Buford:
I really can't stay
Baljeet:
Buford, it is cold outside
Buford:
I gotta go away
Baljeet:
Buford, it is cold outside
Buford:
This evening has been
Baljeet:
I was hoping that you would drop in
Buford:
So very nice
Baljeet:
I will hold your hands, they are just like ice
Buford:
My mother will start to worry
Baljeet held Buford's hands. He shivered the moment he touched them.
"No, wait, your hands are actually cold," he said.
My father will be pacing the floor
'Why are your hands so cold?" Baljeet asked worriedly.
So really, I'd better scurry
"You better not, not like this," Baljeet demanded.
Well, maybe just a half-a-drink more.
Baljeet:
You might have frostbite, I am not sure
Buford:
The neighbors might think
"You mean Phineas and Ferb?" asked Baljeet.
Buford took a drink.
Say, what's in this drink?
"Hot chocolate," Baljeet replied. "We are children."
I wish I knew how
"Where is your jacket?" asked Baljeet.
To break this spell
Baljeet:
You need a coat and hat as well
Buford:
I oughta say no, no, no
"I agree," Baljeet said bluntly.
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
Baljeet:
What is the sense of going outside?
Buford:
I really can't stay
Baljeet:
Buford, just listen
Both:
Ah, but it's/Buford it is cold outside
Buford:
I simply must go
Baljeet:
Buford, it is cold outside
Buford:
The answer is no
Baljeet:
The temperature is dropping rapidly outside
Buford:
The welcome has been
Baljeet:
You are lucky that I am your friend
Buford:
So nice and warm
Baljeet:
Look out the window at that storm
Buford:
My sister will be suspicious
"I thought you did not have a sister," said Baljeet.
My brother will be there at the door
"I thought you were an only child!" Baljeet yelled.
I gotta see how my fish is
"Biff will be alright," Baljeet assured.
Well, maybe just a stick of gum more
Buford spit some gum in the trash can and replaced it with a new stick.
Baljeet was even more worried now. "You've been singing with gum in your mouth this whole time?! That's a choking hazard!"
I gotta get home
Baljeet was starting to lose patience. "Buford, you will freeze out there!"
Say lend me your comb
"Why, so you can break it?" Baljeet asked.
You've really been grand
"And you are insufferable!" Baljeet shouted.
Why don't you see?
Baljeet:
Why will you not listen to me?
Buford:
There's bound to be talk tomorrow
"Yes, about how foolish you are!" Baljeet retorted.
At least there will be plenty implied
Baljeet:
You can get pneumonia and die
Buford:
I really can't stay
Baljeet:
Yes you can
Both:
Baby, it's/Buford, it is cold
Baby, it's/Buford, it is cold outside
End "Buford, it is Cold Outside"
The two finally noticed the mistletoe hanging over their heads.
"Oh look, mistletoe," Buford remarked.
Baljeet blushed brightly and gave Baljeet his coat. "On second thought, you can take my coat. Goodbye."
With that, Baljeet left the room.
Doof finally reached the checkout with some presents in hand.
"Hey, what's with the total lack of Christmas decorations this year?" he asked. "Are you just being lazy or what?"
Before Doof could pay for his things, Doof felt himself getting transported back home.
When he opened his eyes, Doof found himself back in his apartment. He could only assume it was Perry's doing.
"The reverse button, really?" he asked, disappointed.
Before he could say anymore, Perry tackled Doof to the ground. Doof got up and tried to use the trap again. Perry dodged this time. He then grabbed some fruitcake and threw it at Doof.
Doof got out of the way, but the fruitcake hit the machine. It started to malfunction. Perry jumped in the teleporter beam at the nick of time.
"There's still no sign of Perry," Phineas said. "Perhaps we should open our presents."
Everyone opened their presents, all feeling their own varying levels of happiness.
"I got candy!" Isabella cheered.
"I got a math book!" Baljeet hugged his new present.
"I got a new paint set!" Django cried.
Buford wasn't very satisfied with his gift. "I got a rock."
Phineas offered a present to Candace. She cautiously took the present and opened it up.
The present was a pair of purple earrings with white tips. She smiled at them.
"How did you know I wanted these?" she asked.
"You said you wanted them during your song," Phineas replied.
Candace teared up a bit and hugged Phineas. "Thanks, bro."
All that was left was the gift for Phineas and Ferb. They opened it to reveal none other than Perry the Platypus.
"Hey look everyone, it's Perry!" Phineas smiled. "We're all together after all. This is the best Christmas ever."
Play "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
Everyone gathered together for one final song.
All:
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Phineas:
We wish you the best day ever
And hope all your Christmas endeavors
Are super fun, amazing, and clever
And that your New Year's rocks too
Ferb blew a party favor. Isabella stepped in right after.
Isabella:
Oh, come tell me whatcha doin
All my relatives just flew in
From Mexico and Jerusalem
For the holidays
Isabella lit a menorah.
Both Christmas trees and menorahs
It can be confusing for us
When we break into a chorus
Of ole…
"Ole!" Isabella's Mexican relatives cheered.
And oy vey
"Oy vey," the Jewish relatives sighed.
Django:
Glad tidings we bring to you and your kin
Good tidings for Christmas and a happy New Year
All:
We wish you a Perry Christmas
We wish you a Perry Christmas
We wish you a Perry Christmas
And a…
Perry chattered.
New Year
Candace stepped in next.
Candace:
This year seemed like it could not get worse
It's like I'm hated by the universe
But times with family were interspersed
Let's see what else comes
Then, it was Baljeet's turn to take a verse.
Baljeet:
I wish for a calculator
Slash Hindi-English translator
To find the common denominator
In both of my tongues
Buford butted in and gave Baljeet a wedgie.
Buford:
Good wedgies I'll give to all of you nerds
That's how I say Merry Christmas, I ain't good with words
Doof hacked the video feed so he would appear on screen.
Doof:
I wish you would let me rule you
In evil, I'm gonna school you
I won't sugarcoat or fool you
Your New Year's looks grim
I warn you, my new inator
Will force you to serve me later
So why not just choose to cater
To my every whim?
Phineas and Ferb regained control of the feed.
All:
We wish your every endeavor
Makes this the best Christmas ever
And we're also glad that we have never
Mentioned figgy pudding
End "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
The moment the song ended, the set and the extras disappeared.
All of a sudden, a bunch of people teleported into Doof's apartment. A Christmas tree also appeared right on top of him.
"Oh, so the reverse switch works for Perry the Platypus and not me?" he asked.
That's when the Transportinator started to spark.
"What's going on?" asked one of the guys in the room.
"It's just my inator," Doof replied. "It'll likely blow up at any second."
Everyone hurried out before the inator exploded, not even thinking to help Doof get out. The inator exploded, covering Doof in soot.
"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" he shouted. "And by extension, you lousy extras!"
Linda returned home.
"Hey boys," she greeted. "I heard you were doing Christmas in July."
"Yes, yes they were," Candace replied. "And it was actually really sweet."
"Aw," everyone smiled.
After a while, everyone went back inside.
That is, everyone except Holly.
"Oh, you thought it was over?" she asked the reader. "No. We're a bit excessive, so we decided to add another one."
Play "Holly Jolly Christmas"
Holly:
Have a holly jolly Christmas
It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be snow
But have a cup of cheer
Have a holly jolly Christmas
I'm the Fireside Girl, Holly
Earn a patch to fill your sash
Or maybe plant a tree
Having heard the song, Baljeet came outside to investigate. He noticed a mistletoe hanging over him.
Oh ho, the mistletoe
Hung above Baljeet
Buford came out too. He also stood under the mistletoe. A part of him wanted to leave, but the other part of him didn't want to leave Baljeet hanging. He reluctantly gave Baljeet a light peck on the cheek, then quickly ran back inside.
Buford gives a Christmas kiss
No one dare compete
Have a holly jolly Christmas
It's the mandatory bonus song
Oh by golly, it's holly
And it's not too terribly long
End "Holly Jolly Christmas"
A.N.
Merry Christmas, everyone (or Merry late Christmas if Christmas has already passed where you live (or Happy Hanukkah/Kwanzaa if you celebrate either of those holidays)).
Given the options regarding which Christmas special I should do, I knew it had to be the Season 3 one. While the other special actually took place during Christmas, this one was a Christmas in July scenario, so it better fits into the story.
Despite that, since this is a Christmas episode, I felt it only made sense to include a Christmas-themed intro. It's a fusion of both versions of the winter variation of the theme song. Hope you like it.
Upon rewatching the episode and learning the bit where Carl became an extra in the boys' show, I knew I wanted to include an interaction between him and the boys, even if it was a small one, to signify that they remember him from their last meeting in the "Undercover Carl" episode.
Like I said, I did incorporate some of the songs from the MWCA Christmas Album, mainly because I really liked those songs and wanted them to be included.
First, there was Candace singing about how all she wants for Christmas is to bust her brothers, before interjecting saying she wouldn't mind the purple earrings as an alternative. I especially enjoyed including the bit where Phineas gave Candace the earrings as a Christmas present, showing that he is genuinely making an effort to grow out of his resentment towards her.
Next, there was Vanessa singing "Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire" to replace Kelly Clarkson only showing up as a gag. I initially did want to include Kelly Clarkson, and have her and Vanessa sing a duet of the song "That Christmas Feeling" together (especially since that song does feel like a Kelly Clarkson song), but I didn't go with it because there wasn't really much time. I needed to remove a few ideas that I wanted to do (like this whole thing with Doof prioritizing his evil over everything else and learning the true meaning of Christmas is family and all that) in order to get this posted on Christmas Day (even though I know I failed in some parts of the world).
And there was Buford and Baljeet's duet of "Baby, it's Cold Outside". I especially wanted to show Baljeet getting frustrated with Buford to start building up tension between them. It was an idea I just came up with while writing that bit. I want to include some buildup to the events of the "Bully Bromance Breakup" episode, that way when Baljeet breaks off his friendship with Buford, there can be a bigger impact.
Of course, there were other additions, like Candace's added verse in "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" and Fireside Girl Holly singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" at the very end, but those had no reason for their inclusion other than I wanted to.
That's all I have to say. Thanks for reading.