***Chapter 60***

**Aria's POV**

Jason's arms wrapping around me was like a wall of relief. The fear that had been eating away at me for the last few days of radio silence from him lifted in an instant. He smelled like the woods, leather, tobacco, and Jason. A blend that immediately soothed me and I felt my body relax as his warmth seeped into me. I had forgotten how warm it was when he was around, and hadn't realized the stark cold that had been plaguing me.

"You're back." I breathed out the words, face still buried against his chest.

It was the utter relief of the moment that dragged the words out. He was here. And he was safe. I felt his head drop down, pressing to the top of my head with a whisper of warm breath. The familiarity of the movement adding to my relief.

"I take it you missed me?" he asked voice low, a slight shaking of his body with amusement.

"Aria, who's at the door?" Spencer's voice broke over my thoughts, causing me to pull back slightly. "Did Hanna come back?"

"Not Hanna. Just me." Jason answered, he seemed to pause and there was something in his tone. Like there was something making him uncomfortable.

I looked up at his face while stepping back, letting him into the house. His face was tight, whether it was annoyance or trepidation, I wasn't sure. He followed me in after a slow breath, mouth twisting with a smile that felt forced. Was he upset that the other girls were here?

"Jason!" Spencer practically shouted, and I felt more than heard her moving our way. "You're back!"

She also grabbed him into a hug, the worry that she had apparently been hiding, only hinted at when she had asked if I had heard anything from him, bleeding over as she grabbed him. It was a quick embrace, but from the surprised look on Jason's face, I realized that he didn't know how much he had worried us all by going quiet like that.

"Yeah, I just needed to get out of town for a few days." he replied, glancing between us before looking into the living room.

I watched his shoulders tighten when he recognized that Ali was in the room. She had said that they had a fight, that it might be why he had left town. And he had told me that he was taking some time away because of family issues. I could feel my eyebrows dipping in a frown at the thought that it really was why he had taken off. What had their fight been about that taking a few days away had still left him anxious about seeing Ali? Looking over at Ali, she had also shifted slightly, discomfort, maybe guilt. But with Ali it was always so hard to tell, she was so closed off most of the time. And Ali never admitted a weakness. So actually managing to catch something wasn't easy to verify that she had actually given something away.

"Hey Emily, Ali. Are you all waiting on Hanna?" he asked, giving a nod to the other girls as he closed the door behind him.

"No, Hanna left already." Spencer explained, then upon seeing the confused expression on Jason's face she continued. "We just thought she might come back."

"Any chance of calling her and seeing if she will? There's something I want to talk to all of you about?" Jason responded, seeming to have found some resolve.

"I can call her." Emily offered, braver than I was to be honest, given the fact that calling Hanna seemed sure to provoke another fight.

We hadn't backed her the way that I was sure she wanted talking to Ali, instead prioritizing trying to get info out of Ali and that required more compassion than the rage that she was barely keeping at bay.

"There's coffee in the kitchen if you want some." I offered, wanting to give us all a minute to recenter for whatever conversation Jason wanted to have with us.

"Yeah, that'd be great." he shrugged off his jacket, hanging it up on the coatrack.

I led him to the kitchen, unlike the girls he wasn't as used to my house as they all were. Not having years of hanging out to learn the specifics of where all the makings for coffee were. I grabbed a mug out of the cupboard for him, setting it on the counter.

"I'm glad you're okay." I admitted, turning to face him as he grabbed the carafe from the coffee maker.

"What made you think I wouldn't be?" he asked, pouring the coffee.

"You disappeared." I answered, like maybe that would be enough. But I realized it wasn't. I moved the sugar container his way, remembering that he typically took a little sugar in his coffee. "And then you didn't answer, just a message saying you would be out of contact."

I saw the way that he looked at me. Like he thought just saying he would be gone for a few days should have been enough. And maybe it should have been. I felt ridiculously clingy for worrying about him the way that I had. But after the arcade, after facing Charles while Jason stood by my side to protect me. After he kept Charles from taking me. Then comforting me afterwards, giving me a safe place to shatter. And supporting me while I shared with the other girls what I had been keeping from them for so long. Suddenly being left alone made me feel vulnerable and off balance. And scared. I had been so scared that Charles had taken him. That it wasn't Jason texting me that he would be gone for a few days, but a trick so we wouldn't get the cops involved or maybe so we wouldn't go looking for him.

My breath caught in my lungs. The fear seizing me up, and I realized I was trembling in the kitchen, eyes focused on nothing but the vague colors and movements around me.

"Aria, are you okay?" Jason's voice broke me out of the moment of panic, the worry evident on his face.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I assured, only realizing that I was crying when he moved to brush a tear away from my face. "Sorry about that. I was just worried."

The coffee was forgotten on the counter as he pulled me into him, once more his warmth washing over me and allowing my tense muscles to relax a little. The frozen breaths turning back to a steady rhythm. And the aching tightness in my chest eased.

"I didn't mean to worry you. I just needed to get away for a few days." he tried to reassure.

It didn't help.

"Where did you go? I think I called you a dozen times." I had to know, he hadn't returned any of the texts or calls, not mine or Ali's. And it had terrified me. Not only that he might be in danger, but that he could be gone, just like that.

He pulled back from me, double checking over my face to make sure that I was okay before running a hand through his hair. Then I watched as he let out a long breath and leaned back into the counter behind him.

"I was with my sponsor, at a cabin."

It caught me off guard, that he still had a sponsor. I don't know why but I had always assumed that he was past that. Not still really having to deal with his addiction in the way that I saw Spencer still struggle. I didn't really have a frame of reference for Jason as an addict. Sure I remembered that he was stoned throughout high school, and most of my earlier memories of him. But he had seemed so in control. Not strung out and twitchy like I'd seen Spencer.

"He and I have a deal. That if I need a break, then we'll go off the grid for a few days. Work through things. But part of the deal is that I have to leave my phone and keys behind." His voice interrupted my spiralling train of thought.

"You have to leave your phone? What why?" It seemed unfathomable, I couldn't imagine being away from my phone for more than an hour, forget several days.

"Phones can be a big trigger. It doesn't make sense for me to try and leave the rest of the world and my problems behind only to have them come right along when I get a text or phone call." he explained, shifting from off the counter to add the sugar into his coffee.

It made sense. It had to be nice, being able to actually leave his problems behind. That hadn't been an option for me since I got back from Iceland. The few times that I had tried to leave my phone behind, there was some other twisted method that Charles or Mona had dug up to drag me back in to whatever game they wanted to play with me that day. I was glad that Jason didn't have that same problem, that he could actually get the space he needed to deal with things instead of spiralling like the rest of us seemed to do.

My eyes wandered over him, when I hugged him earlier I had recognized that he smelled different, but looking at him it was more than that. He looked calmer and more relaxed than I could remember seeing him in a while, at least any time that he wasn't half asleep. His posture was more relaxed, leaning casually against the counter. And the dark circles that had been shadowing his eyes were gone. I had barely noticed them before, they'd been there so long that I had included it as just part of his face, but he looked more awake now. The time away from the never ending shitshow that was our lives seemed to have done him good. Guilt opened a hole in my stomach, that we were dragging him down. That I was dragging him down. Sure he had been involved before, because of Ali and Spencer. But he hadn't really started getting the texts and threats until I'd been spending more time with him. It felt like my fault, and the gnawing anxiety made me want to throw up. I was such a selfish person, I realized, I didn't want to give Jason up even if it would be best for him. And he didn't seem like he was really interested in running away, like he was going to stick through this with us, even if he needed to take a break occasionally.

"I'm sorry, Aria. I really didn't mean to worry you." he broke through my self-flagellating spiral. "I can't promise I won't take off like that again if I need to. But is there something I can do in the future so you don't worry."

"Could you call?" I asked, the answer immediate and I saw some hesitation in his eyes. "Not while you're gone. Just before you go, hearing your voice would reassure me that it's actually you and that Charles hasn't kidnapped you and is pretending to be you through text."

I finished in a rush, knowing that I sounded paranoid. And at least slightly crazy. His green eyes widened in response, the whites visible as his gaze fixed on my face. I guess he didn't have the same awful overactive imagination that I did when it came to the things Charles would do. Understanding flashed there, just why I had been so scared. And why I had grabbed him so fiercely when he showed up on my doorstep. Reassuring myself that he actually was there and safe.

"I can try. Though I can't make any guarantees that I'll be up for a conversation." he offered with a small smile.

The answering smile on his face felt natural, not forced. And it did something to ease the tension in the air, and in my back as I had held my body rigid. The agreement, loose as it was, made me feel like things were okay. That even if he did need to take off in the future, it would still be alright. I offered my own smile back at him, feeling far more at ease.

"I wasn't the only one who was worried about you, by the way." I informed, my tone lighter than it had been before now that some of the weight had lifted from my shoulders. "Spencer and Ali both asked if I had heard from you."

He raised an eyebrow at that in skepticism. "Spencer I would understand, given the bear hug at the door. I wasn't expecting Ali to check up on me though."

"She asked me two days ago if I'd heard anything from you." I explained, gaze moving towards the doorway to the living room, where both of his worried sisters were waiting. "Mentioned that you two had a fight."

He tensed. The smooth comfortable movements he had been making, bringing his coffee mug to his mouth to drink froze, and when he remembered that he had been about to take a drink it seemed like he was too tightly strung. Then he took a breath, a long inhale as his nostrils flared and his chest expanded. Before slowly, letting it pass out of his mouth between barely parted lips. His shoulders dropped, like he was making himself relax. What had that fight been about? I was afraid to ask, given how cagey Ali had been and how it clearly set Jason on edge.

"We did. Afterwards, I needed some space." he replied. "But I'm back now. So let's not keep them waiting."

It was like whiplash, the way he completely turned that around and headed towards the living room. It took me a moment to realize that I should follow him back out there. Some of the tension from before was back, and I was dreading whatever this conversation was going to be about. It's fine, it's Jason. There hasn't been anything in the past that made me feel unsafe around him, even when the girls had been trying to convince me he was A. I trusted Jason, more than I had ever really recognized. So I followed him back into my living room.

"Any word from Hanna?" I asked, almost hoping that we could put whatever this was off for a little longer.

"She's not answering any of our calls." Emily relayed, annoyance heavy in her tone.

I watched as Jason nodded his head, as though accepting that. Before he sat down in the chair across from Ali, the one that Hanna had been occupying earlier. I took my own place on the couch, collecting my coffee mug from the table and cradling it in my hands.

"Alright, I'll talk to her later then." he commented, obviously thinking about how he was going to start this conversation. He licked his lips.

"What did you want to talk to us about, Jason?" Spencer broke the silence, casually sipping her drink as though she was trying to deliberately set the tone of the conversation.
"The NAT club." he answered, which was one of the last things that I thought he would want to talk about. "I realized that we had never talked about it. Just moved on. And I know that's not right."

That he began with the NAT club threw me for a loop. It felt like so long ago that we had been worried about that. Back when Mona was the main tormentor in our lives. And we thought he, Ian, and Garret had something to do with Ali's fake death. I almost wanted to dismiss the conversation outright, this didn't have anything to do with now. But looking at the expression on Jason's face, I knew this was something that was important for him to talk about.

"I want you to all know that I'm really sorry for that. For the club and never talking to you all about it. It was a horrible way for your privacy and trust to be violated. The club was a mistake from the start, but it never should have turned to taking videos of you. I feel horrible for what we did, and can't imagine how you must have felt when you learned about it."

His voice was rough, deeper than normal and breath uneven with emotion. There was a slump to his shoulders that hurt to look at, like guilt was weighing him down. This was clearly painful for him to talk about, and I could easily have gone another year plus without thinking about it again. It had been creepy to find out that Ian had been filming us, but somehow I had gone straight to what all had they learned rather than focusing in on the fact that we had been filmed during private moments.

"Why are you bringing this up now?" Emily asked, glancing between us on the couch and Jason. "Did Charles say something?"

I was glad that I wasn't the only one on the page of not being sure why we needed to talk about this now. But if not now, when? Was there ever going to be a good time to have this conversation? Admittedly, talking about his role in spying on us in the past didn't feel like a great idea considering we had just found out that the cops thought Charles had killed his and Ali's mom. But at the same time, I knew it had to be important to him if he was talking about it. My eyes darted over to Ali, seeing how she reacted to Emily's question. Was the NAT club what they had fought about? Ali had said it was about Charles, but this coming out of nowhere had to be connected, right?

"No, Charles didn't say anything." Jason answered. "It's one of the things that's important for me to do, owning up to the mistakes of my past and apologizing to the people I've hurt."

"Step 9, right?" Spencer questioned, I turned to her, confused at the meaning. "It's the 12 step program. Step 9 is about sincerely apologizing to the people you've hurt and applying your new safe behaviors so you don't continue to hurt them."

She explained like she would reciting facts before a test, and it made sense. That this was the next step in his recovery, that probably his sponsor had suggested he talk to us about this. As I looked him over, I wondered if he was ready for this conversation. Or if maybe it was too soon for him to have this talk, given how uncomfortable he looked.

"Yeah, it's step 9. But I also wanted to answer any questions you might have about it. I owe all of you that much." he was obviously sincere, and I wondered what questions about it I really had.

If he had brought this up a year ago, when we were still worried about Ian, it might feel more desperate to get answers now. But with Charles still out there, it didn't feel like it mattered that much anymore. I had almost forgotten about his role in the club in the first place. That anyone had taken videos of us and not blackmailed us? That didn't rate even close to anything that Mona had done, not even getting into the escalation that Charles had made.

"What made you start the club in the first place?" Spencer asked.

"I saw Hackett out at a restaurant with Coach Slocumb, when I told Ian and Garret about it, Ian thought it meant that they were having an affair. While Garret thought it was just a work meeting. So they bet on who was right and we started following them around to find out who was right."

"Were they having an affair?" Emily asked, nose wrinkled slightly and I couldn't blame her. Hackett was far from my favorite person.

"No, they going over the sports budget. We never caught them out again, not alone at least."

"So you started with following teachers?" I clarified, wondering how it had turned into videoing us.

"Yep, Ian brought the camera into it when we started watching some of the parents in our neighborhoods." He seemed to relax a little as we started asking questions, like most of what he was worried about had already passed.

"When did you start spying on us?" Ali asked, words clipped.

Jason ran a hand through his hair, face screwing up in concentration. I watched him try to work out the timeline of when it was. And I wondered how much of his memory was actually there, given how out of it he had been back then.

"I can't say for certain, maybe six months before you went missing." he finally guessed. "I didn't see a video with any of you in it for a while, Ian had started with girls our own age. But I think it started when he had been spying on Melissa, but ended up taping you all instead that night."

"Would you have seen a video right away? Or could Ian have been filming us longer?" Spencer questioned.

I saw his face twist in thought, mouth contorted as he worked through it. "It's possible that he didn't show me right away. I can't be certain." Jason started, brow furrowed while considered. "Chunks of my life are missing from around that time. And I don't think it really registered with me for a while."

"Like that summer?" I questioned, remembering his admission to me after Ian's funeral. That he didn't remember anything from the summer before Ali went missing.

"Yeah, during the school year was a little better. I had to be functional enough to get to school." he replied, taking a drink of his coffee for a pause. "But the afternoons, the time with Ian and Garret, a lot of it is still hazy."

"Do you think there's any of the videos left? That anyone would be able to access them?" Ali brought it back to the main subject, and the potential threat now.

"I doubt it. Ian didn't keep most of it beyond a week. It was more of a watch and move on deal most of the time. I know he had some files on his computer that he kept, but the cops would probably have that now given the investigation."

"Thank you, for telling us about this." Emily told him, like that was the end of the conversation. Which I didn't really know what else to ask. I guess she was at the same point.

"I know I should have talked to you all about this earlier." Jason responded, looking between us and I could see the struggle in his face. "And if there's anything you want to ask, whenever, I'll answer you honestly."

I appreciated the effort he was putting in. That this wasn't necessarily the only chance to ask him about what had happened before. Emily's phone chirped loudly, breaking the moment in the room. She fished it out of her pocket and typed a message back quickly.

"I gotta go. Sarah is due at therapy." she explained, getting off the couch and reaching for her coffee cup.

"Don't worry about it, I'll get it taken care of." I stopped her from taking it to the kitchen.

Her relationship with Sarah didn't feel exactly healthy. That she was still taking Sarah to therapy even when they weren't living together anymore. She had mentioned Sarah going to stay with her old friend and it rubbed me the wrong way that it felt like she was controlling Emily's movements. I shook the thought away, Emily wouldn't appreciate anyone butting in. And if anyone was going to, it would likely be Ali, given the annoyed expression on her face. She watched silently as Emily headed out the door, once the door closed I almost expected her to say something. Likely a complaint about Sarah or some other hurtful comment. But her gaze remained fixed on the door instead.

"I better get going too, I want to get some of my work taken care of today." Spencer explained needlessly.

I glanced between Ali and Jason, noting that Ali was fixing her attention back on him now that Spencer was leaving. Awkward. I decided to excuse myself to clean up the coffee, and maybe get myself another cup. Leaving Ali and Jason alone together.

***End Chapter***

There were a couple questions about updating on the last chapter, so I wanted to share with y'all what my schedule looks like right now. I'm planning to do every other Friday, if I get more than 2 full chapters written and edited I might update on the off weeks. But I want to prioritize consistently getting it out, instead of stalling out on chapters.

Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews, it really does help me know that people are interested when I struggle with what's immediately next. I already have the rest of the season's storyline plotted, it's just rough connecting it sometimes.

Sorry for the rant, let me know what ya think of the chapter.