Chapter 38: Ghosts
"Why Rainy," the familiar voice asked, a voice that echoed through the darkness. Though she could not see his face, she didn't need to…
She knew who it was.
"Why," Calin repeated, 'Why…did you let me die?"
The Sith apprentice said nothing, she kept her eyes closed, and her breathing steady. This was nothing new for her. The voices, the accusations of the dead, no…
…in moments like this, during her meditations, it was quite common.
Her ghosts never left her alone.
They were never far from her. They were always waiting, always ready to remind her of what she had done, and her failures as a Sith. Avaryss insisted that she needed to endure them. Many times, her master told her that conquering the ghost of her victims was one of the many tests that would prove that she was worthy of being the next empress. Though she drew great power from guilt, eventually, she WOULD need to cast it aside.
"Guilt has no place in our world apprentice. Cast it aside, and embrace your hatred. Hatred for the Jedi, the mundane horde of the galaxy, or even hatred of yourself, but understand one thing…
…the dark side is all, and you must be a part of it."
She tried to do that, to be what her master said she must be, but…
In the meantime, her victims haunted her, and Calin had now been inducted into their ranks.
Such was what she had to deal with.
Rain took another deep breath, and let it out, in and out…
Calin remained, his shade watching her.
She almost cursed under her breath.
Damn it…
…just go away.
He didn't of course, they never did…
…sometimes, she thought…
…she feared that they never would.
She could not say if the ghosts that haunted her were really there, or only in her head. Actual spirits conjured by the Force, or just the result of her guilt and imagination, regardless, it didn't really matter.
Real, or not, they tormented her just the same. Especially, when she was meditating.
"Go away," she repeated.
Yet, he remained, they always remained.
She tried to ignore him, to focus on the thing within her, the alchemical beast that her master had forced down her throat.
What had she called it? A heart drinker? Whatever it was, it was a part of her now feeding off her power.
Now that she was alone, out of her master's sight, she did her best to examine the thing. Examine it, probe it, and determine how best to get rid of it.
The thought of being bound to anything fueled her rage.
How dare you do this to me master.
HOW…DARE…YOU!
There had not been time to do this on their way back from Zraii'chaa. She had been exhausted after the battle. Using her battle meditation was always tiring, but having aided in subjugating an entire world, literally reprograming the wills and minds of millions through the Force, and then aiding in the destruction of all those who had not turn, had left her on the verge of collapse. She had slept for three days, waking only when Tront came to inform her that they were back on Bantoon.
Her master had been pleased, at the least, and had allowed her to sleep. Sadly, she had done nothing about the alchemical thing inside her student. She may have finally recognized Rain as a full lord, but beyond that, offered nothing, no freedom from the creature, and giving no word what it would take to get her to remove it.
The apprentice's brow furrowed, as she tried to reach out with the Force, trying to understand what had been done.
Only through understanding, could she find the way out.
Her master was clever, that was for sure, but she was not infallible.
I will get rid of you, she thought, addressing the thing curled up within her chest.
I WILL do it.
I MUST find a WAY!
IOI
She had been back on the Shae moon for five days now. Her master had ordered her to resume her duties. Even with their final victory close at hand, it was necessary to keep an eye on the gangs that thrived on Bantoon. Despite their clumsy, and uneducated ways, they could still cause trouble.
Avaryss was taking no chances…
"We must keep matters in hand, Lord Rain," the dark lord had said, "we can allow no surprises at this point."
Rain had agreed. Things were moving faster now, with the success of Zraii'chaa operation, the initiative was now theirs, and best of all, the other galactic powers had not seemed to notice. According to Avaryss' contacts, both Arcann and the Hero of Tython, continued their war on each other, squabbling over distant worlds, and seeking allies, with not a single eye turning to Bantoon.
Meanwhile, Avaryss was using her puppets to sow even more confusion. Multiple Raii nests were broadcasting differing accounts of the battle. Some blamed the alliance, others blamed the Zakuul, another blamed a pirate fleet, and so forth, and so forth.
If Avaryss' name came up, whispered by an enemy…who cared.
Her name was but one of many.
The Force had echoed with Avaryss' victory, but with so many others being blamed, it was unlikely that anyone would target them, not yet anyway.
That gave them time, time for the workers to finish the grand temple.
Time…to win the galaxy.
Deception, secrecy, and cunning; the weapons of the dark side were these, and Avaryss was proving to be its undisputed master.
She was a scalpel in a world of hammers, and soon all would learn that.
Rain looked forward to that moment.
The best way to bring someone low was to wait for their back to turn, slip up behind them, and stab them in the heart.
They were now primed to do that, Death Knell, with the keys to deliver it was the perfect dagger.
Rain smiled to herself.
The galaxy's back was turned, and now…
…it was almost time.
IOI
She reached out with the Force again, trying to examine the Heart drinker. She even tried to commune with it. Her master was able to command it with the slightest of gestures. If the thing understood, then it should be able to understand her.
It didn't answer, which meant that it couldn't, or that it simply chose not to. Avaryss had warned her that any attempt to tell anyone about it, would result in it making her suffer. Any attempt to remove it would also prove painful.
Yet, she refused to accept that this was her life now, that this would go on.
There had to be a way to free herself.
She had to find a way. Otherwise, her future was no longer certain, her success was no longer certain.
If she didn't find a way to get rid of the Heart drinker, her becoming the next Dark Lord of the Sith was in doubt. The empire would never be hers. She…
Her eyes stung, the thought of becoming nothing filled her with dread. To be a slave again, bound and broken. She could not…
She shook her head, wiping angrily at her eyes, stopping offending tears before they could fall.
No, she could NOT give in to despair.
She still had much to learn. Her time to rule was still a long-ways off. Her dreams of empire were far from becoming a reality.
She would not give up on those dreams, but that is all they were at this point. Dreams. What she wanted, what she would do when she sat on the throne, that was for the future, right now, she had her own matters to concern herself with, and so she sought guidance in the dark side itself.
She tried to focus on what she wanted as she called upon the dark side. Rain needed to center herself, not only to restore her power, but to prepare for her next move.
Preparations that would be so much easier if she was not being haunted by ghosts from her past, but easy was not part of the Sith doctrine, was it?
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Passion meant dealing with her emotions. A Sith's life was suffering the consequences of their actions, and not only dealing with those consequences, but rising above them.
That is what she was doing now, facing her past, and using her hate and rage to move beyond her past.
Suffering was how a Sith defined themselves, and rose to greater heights.
As Avaryss' student, she was more than prepared to do that.
Let the ghosts come, she thought to herself, I am a Lord of the Sith now, and I am strong.
I can deal with the condemnation of a few shades.
She opened her eyes, and could see nothing. She preferred to do her meditations in total darkness. What one saw could be deceptive, here…it was just her and the Force.
The training room beneath her apartment on Shae was quite large, large enough to engage her three training droids when she practiced her saber techniques. Those droids were powered down now, silent and cold, just as the room itself.
She kept it ten degrees below what she considered comfortable, and in the Echani tradition, taught to her by Lord Taya, she chose to train wearing minimal clothing, a simple tank top and black briefs. The cold brought gooseflesh to her arms and legs; her bad leg pained her from kneeling too long…
…her ruined left hand throbbed and itched. She had been fitted with a set of new cybernetic fingers before leaving the Reckoning, but they had not fully bonded yet. They felt strange, strange and clumsy, and the burning never left, the itching didn't stop. The medical droid offered her pain killers but she refused.
Endure, grow, and survive, she thought.
The way of the Sith.
As she stared into the darkness, the shadows took shape. She could almost see Calin standing before her, scowling down on her.
"I thought you were my friend, Rainy. Now look what you have done!"
She sneered.
"Did I order you to engage that old pureblood? No. You took on the challenge yourself, and you failed, you were weak."
She pierced the spirit with an angry gaze.
"You have no one to blame, but yourself."
"Lyka and her father might disagree," the specter replied, "My family might disagree."
She acknowledged that with a silent nod. It was a problem, true, but she had a plan to make things right between herself and House Dresco. Provided she got Lyka onboard, she thought that they might be willing to accept what she had to offer.
She could not entirely kill the sly smile on her lips.
She may have been isolated, dealing with these thugs, enduring the mess that was the Bantoon moons, but that didn't mean she had not been paying attention to what her master was up to. Death Knell was only one of her master's projects. She had many more that defined her plots and schemes.
Project Chrysalis, and Project Rejuvenator, to name a few.
She didn't know everything about these plans, but in the last few years she had cultivated more than a few contacts among the various soldiers and technicians that served her master. Men and women who fed their vices on the moons that Rain now oversaw. They were more than willing to trade information for…darker pleasures.
Her master's Chrysalis project showed the most promise. Rain was aware that her master had acquired a certain technology from one of her late master's labs. A technology that would go a long way to repairing her relationship with Calin's parents, and Lyka's father.
She needed that, she would need those relationships when she took over the Sith.
The shade of her dead friend laughed.
"Take over the Sith? Like you could ever defeat your master, especially now."
Rain glared up at him.
"Shut up."
"Why? What are you going to do to me if I don't? Kill me?"
He laughed again.
"I'm already dead, remember. Thanks to you."
She said nothing, only glared at the ghost in the darkness.
Damn it.
Why wouldn't they just leave her alone.
"Because you don't deserve to be alone, girl."
Another shade appeared behind Calin's, a young man with a large kitchen knife in his neck.
Johun Celchu, a former transport pilot, and her first real murder victim.
"All you have to offer is a painful death."
Rain shook her head.
"You should have just eaten the damn stew," she murmured, " I didn't want you to suffer, all I needed was your ship, and a way off world."
"My family were kind to you, and all you gave us in return was death."
"That is how she repays kindness," another spirit said to her left.
Rain sighed and shook her head.
Not him too.
"Go away, Colonel," she hissed, "Go back to the grave that I put you in."
Krys Capistan, the leader of Survivor Squad, didn't move, he remained off to the right of her, he stood before her, a cup of caf in his hand, much as he had in life.
She could see the hole her light pike had left in his chest, but he didn't seem to feel it now. She could almost smell him, that smell of strong caf and burning meat.
He gave her a sad look.
During her time at Survivor Base, they had become friendly. Her master had commanded that she watch him, and so, she had. They had spoken many times. He told her about his father, a small man who destroyed both his life and ambitions with drink and self-loathing. He told her about his dreams of becoming an artist. Dreams that he had put aside because of both war, and his father's torments. He had told her about his love for Gilly Locke, how she had been carrying his child at one point, and how that child had been lost on a mission, without them realizing the truth.
Capistan had been a good man, a warrior poet, and she had run him through with her light pike, and why…
…Because he called her a slave to the dark side, and to Avaryss.
She had lost her temper.
It…had been a mistake.
"We spent a lot of time talking, kid. I know that you have done things that you didn't want to do, because you thought they were necessary."
Rain sneered.
"What I told you were lies, to gain your trust, but know this…I didn't want your life. I…I respected you, what you endured. If you had come with us, joined us, you would still be alive now."
The man she knew as Mister Krys shook his head.
"I remained true to myself to the end. I feel no shame in that. How about you, Zay? You think about what you did, about the people that died by your hands. What does that make you, that guilt? Are you truly ready to endure that for the rest of your life?"
She chewed her lip in thought.
"The guilt is just another test. I will rise above it and become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. I will rule the galaxy after my master."
"And how will you defeat her with that thing inside of you?" Calin asked, "She had leverage over you now, Rainy, and she has just insured that you will never have a chance to take her throne."
"She will remove it when I have proven myself," she replied, repeating her master's promise.
"Avaryss is a liar," Krys Capistan said, "She proved that when she joined the Survivors, what makes you so sure that she is not lying to you now."
Rain didn't answer.
She…she didn't have one.
Even now, as she thought about the creature, she could feel it curling around her heart, settled in her chest.
Her master had a means to ensure that she remained hers, now…and for the rest of her life.
Why would she give that up?
She needed her apprentice's battle meditation, for now, but once victory had been achieved, who could say? Avaryss was a powerful Sith Alchemist, she had conquered death, and took a new body for herself.
She could do so again, if she chose, what did she need an apprentice, and heir, for?
Rain's frown deepened.
Were the spirits, right?
Had her master just been waiting for an excuse to bind her to her forever?
Had Rain been made, no longer an heir, but a mere slave?
Her eyes narrowed.
No.
She…she would not go back to that again!
She was destined to be the next Dark Lord! She would train her master's son when she seized the Sith throne! She…
"You are kidding yourself," Calin spat.
"She didn't make you her student, she made you her slave," the Colonel chimed in.
"You became a murderer for nothing," Johun added, "You will be nothing."
"No," she hissed, "You…you are wrong! No!"
"Your nothing," Johun repeated.
"Just another slave," Calin spat.
"I pity you, kid," Mister Krys said, " I pity you."
"GO AWAY!"
A wave of dark side energy pulsed out from the apprentice, the ghosts vanished, but she didn't believe them truly gone.
She was breathing heavily now, her anger rising.
It was at that moment that she felt another spirit's, presence, felt a soft hand on her shoulder. She smelled a scent that was tied to her earliest memories.
"No," she whimpered, "Not you too!"
"Zay," the woman's voice said with a slight quaver.
"Zaedra is…is that you?"
She rose from her meditations, turned and looked at the shade.
Seeing it made her knees tremble, she…she had never seen this one before.
"Mom," she whispered, "Mommy?"
The image of her mother stood before her, as she had in life, in truth, Rain didn't know if the woman was alive or dead. Her greying blond hair, the care worn face, and the green eyes so much like her daughter. She was dressed as she had been the last day she had seen her, back on the auction block, back when she had been sold to her last master.
The older woman gave her a hopeful look.
"Zaedra? Oh my, look at you! You are a young woman now."
Rain didn't answer, her eyes burned, filling with tears, she was trying to stop them from falling.
Her mother noticed her injuries, her twisted foot, and blasted hand.
"Baby, what happened to you? Who hurt you?
"It…it is nothing," Rain answered, "there is no pain where the power lies."
Her mother's brow furrowed.
"What has happened to you? Your eyes…you…you look so angry."
Rain sneered.
"Why should I be angry?" she asked, "It is not like you abandoned me, that you let me sold off to Master Ankar, without even trying to save me."
"What was I to do Zay?"
"SOMETHING! ANYTHING!" Zay answered.
She shook her head; tears ran down her cheeks even as she shook with impotent rage.
"Why…why did you let him take me?!"
She knew the answer to the question, but she wanted to hear the answer from her mother's lips, the lips of someone dead to her.
"What could I do, child? I didn't want them to take you."
Rain snarled.
"Because you were weak! Well, I'm not weak anymore, mama. I'm strong. I'm going to rule the galaxy!"
Her mother blinked.
"Zay? Sweetie. What are you talking about? Rule the galaxy?"
Rain smiled triumphantly.
"The Force is with me, mother. It is mine to command. Look at me, your little Zay! I'm a Lord of the Sith, mother, and I will never be a slave, not ever again. I…"
Rain paused, the tears in her mother's eyes stopped her.
"Mama? Why? Why are you crying?"
The spirit whimpered.
"Oh, my baby. No. You…you can't be this! No not my little girl!"
Rain's eyes narrowed.
"I was born with power, and I used it to free myself. Through victory my chains are broken!"
"My little girl," her mother repeated, "You…you have to stop, the Jedi will kill you."
The Sith snarled.
"The Jedi are NOTHING! They are a fading light, and the darkness rises. I don't need them to save me! I don't need anyone!"
She reached out with the Force, and called her light pike to her hand, she ignited it. The crimson light pushing back the shadows.
The shade of her mother quaked in fear.
"I…I don't know you," her mother sobbed, "You aren't my little girl! You are a monster. The Jedi will STOP you! They will save us. They will save my little…"
Rain had heard enough, her rage overwhelmed her. Her lips peeled back like that of an angry predator. Tears of rage ran down her cheeks.
"RAGGHHHHHHH!"
She slashed at the shadow with her blade. Only to be stopped by a heavy metal shield.
The Sith's eyes widened.
What?
The Force called out a warning.
She spun away, just avoiding being cut in half.
She whirled her weapon as its light revealed her enemies.
Her training droids!
They must have activated when she tried to push the spirits back with the Force, and attacked when she drew her weapon.
Rain cursed under her breath, but within her the dark side cheered.
She had been lost in her fury, and now, she had an outlet.
Now…she had something to destroy!
The three droids spread out, trying to get behind her. She extended her light pike to its fullest, jabbing and swiping at the droids, keeping them back. The one in front wielded a heavy club and shield. The one on the left had a blade on each arm. The one on the right whirled a chain fitted with a spiked ball.
All three were lethal to most enemies, but she was Sith.
To her…they were simply sport.
"Come on, damn you!" she snarled, twirling her pike. The saber blade humming like a swarm of angry shadow wasps.
"COME ON! I'll…OOPS!"
The light pike flipped from her hand; she had missed catching it. Her new metal fingers were clumsy, as she tried one of her many sequences, she hadn't had a strong enough grip. The blade went out as the weapon bounced across the floor.
The droids swarmed in.
"YIKES!"
Rain ducked Blades, and whirled around Club. Chain lashed out, trying to trip her up.
She spun through the air as Master Taya had taught her. Using the gifts of Niman. Calling on her fear of injury and death, and turning it into rage.
She cursed loudly.
Clumsy NERF!
She had done that twirl hundreds of times in the last three years, but her grip was off, thanks to her half metal hand.
It had been foolish to try it until she was use to the change, but she had done it, and now…she had to pay for it.
Anyone else might have accepted death. She didn't. All the loss of her weapon did, her clumsiness, did was anger her, and that anger was useful.
It turned so easily into hate.
Club closed in, but she was ready.
She caught the droid with the Force. She…
Blade charged in on her right. She spun Club into him. She…
She cried out in pain!
Blades had slashed her thigh! It wasn't bad, but…
Club was there!
Rain pirouetted around him. Distantly she could hear her ghosts taunting her.
Weak.
Slave.
I pity you.
Not my daughter!
No, baby. NO!
She raised her hands and cried out.
Force lightning crackled from her fingers Eight slender bolts of dark side energy struck the training droids, staggering them.
The metal fingers on her left had twitched, unable to handle the current.
The attack was no where as grand as anything her master could conjure, Force lightning wasn't really her forte, but she had not needed to create a Force storm, just get the droids to back off.
She reached out with her good hand, and retrieved her weapon. The light pike hissed to life once more!
The Sith moved in, not trying anything fancy.
She would need to be careful. She would need to get use to her bad hand, and compensate for the damage.
She struck at chain first, slicing through its weapon. Form Six, Niman, combined the best of the other forms; by using the Force, she could blend her style. She used the quick strikes of Makashi, with the spins and leaps of Ataru.
She was by no means a master. The rule of thumb is that it took ten years minimum to master Niman, and she had only been studying it for close to five.
She still had much to learn.
Somethings I will need to relearn, she realized, my hand has slowed my progress.
That angered her as well, and she used that anger.
The droids tried to swarm her. She met their attacks with both malice and precision.
She picked up the pace.
She danced around the three droids, slashing and stabbing out with her blade, while at the same time using the Force to misdirect her attackers. Club stumbled into Chain with a Force push. She cut at Blades' leg and caused it to cut into Club's chassis. Chain managed to swat her in the shoulder, causing her to stumble but she turned the fall into a cartwheel, and retreated, extending her pike to the longest length, she struck out at the droid's legs.
She caught Club square, causing him to fall with an electronic squeal.
She retracted her blade into a saber, and slashed his head off. She then reached out with the Force and pulled Chain down on top of him.
Blades moved in fast.
She danced away taking a minor cut across the belly, not enough to draw blood, but it had left a mark.
She reached out and pinned the droid with the Force. It squealed in protest as it tried to reach her.
She leapt over its head. Spinning her weapon like a baton.
She decapitated Blades.
She landed with a stumble, causing a jolt of pain in her bad foot, she hissed, but did her best to ignore it.
She turned her attention to Chain. It was still trying to rise out of the wreckage of Club.
She struck out in two quick slashing motions.
The last droid came apart, falling in four pieces, and like that…it was over.
Silence fell, with only the slight pop of hot metal, and the whirr of damaged droid servos.
Rain was panting, winded from using the Force, bruised and bleeding, but…alive…victorious!
Through victory my chains are broken!
She cried out like a feral animal a howl of victory!
"IS THAT ALL YOU GOT!" she shouted into the shadows. Demanding a response.
"IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?! IS IT GHOSTS?! IS IT!?"
None appeared to mock or torment her.
She sniffed.
I didn't think so.
She took stock of her injuries, bruised shoulder, blood seeping from her thigh, and a pink mark across her belly…
She frowned.
She could feel the Heart Drinker. It was gorging itself on the dark side energy she had used, feeding off her again.
She took a shuddering breath.
Damn it.
"Lights on," she called out.
The overhead lighting clicked on, revealing the damage she had done to her training droids. Damage that was already being dealt with by their self-repair functions.
It would be enough to get them upright, but some replacement parts would be needed, the techs would take care of that, by the time she was ready to spar again, they would be fixed, and lethal.
Rain cursed herself for a fool.
She could have been killed, the ghosts of her past had distracted her, she had not even realized the three droids had gone active.
It had been a mistake.
A mistake she could not afford to make again.
She caught her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes flickered between green and yellow. Her hair was wild and tangled, her skin shiny with sweat, and blood seeping down her leg.
She was a mess, but…
She laughed.
She never felt more alive.
She felt…worked up, excited.
She smiled.
She limped out of the training room.
She was feeling aggressive. Maybe she would summon Gul. The thought of dominating him, and taking him to her bed had a certain appeal, at the same time, part of her wanted to go out, hit up one of the clubs. She was in a mood.
She wanted to sing, to get the crowd riled up. She wasn't sure what she would do then, maybe she would start a riot, or an orgy.
Her smile turned wicked.
She thought of the shade of her mother, the fear she had seen in her eyes.
Pathetic!
It didn't matter if the fool woman was alive or dead. Rain had surpassed her weakness long ago.
She might as well have been dead, as dead as little Zay was now.
She was Rain now, now and forever, and one day. She would be Darth Rain, Dark Lord of the Sith.
Nothing would stop her.
Not the ghosts of her past.
Not the Heart Drinker…
…Not her master, no one.
One day she would be strong enough.
One day, the ghosts would stay buried, buried and dead.
One day.