Trigger warning! Brief mention of SA

A few days later, an Inquisition messenger approached Fae as she slumped face-down with her head in her arms at a table in the Herald's Rest, her losing hand of cards abandoned for the more appealing promise of rest. The increasingly raucous Chargers arguing over the results of the latest round made her chosen spot to sleep an interesting one. The messenger cleared her throat uncertainly, and received no response. She managed to make eye-contact with Krem, who leaned over and gently shook Fae's shoulder to rouse her. "Seer. Message."

"Mm? Oh, hi," Fae yawned behind her hand. "News?"

The messenger saluted. "The Inquisitor's party has returned to Skyhold, my lady. Inquisitor Lavellan would like you to join her in Seeker Pentaghast's office."

"What?" Fae squinted through bleary eyes. "What do you mean returned? From where?"

"From Ferelden, my lady. The Inquisitor went to investigate the cause of the missing Seekers, at Caer…Oswin…" she hesitated, mistaking Fae's frown of confusion for a frown of disapproval.

"What? Why did no one tell me?"

"I…don't rightly know, my lady. They departed a few days ago. I was to inform you that they had returned."

Fae said nothing for a few moments. "…Oh. I wish she'd stop giving me space, I need to keep busy," she muttered. "Oh, uh, thanks. Cassandra's office, you said?"

"Yes, my lady."

Fae hadn't had reason to visit Cassandra's quarters in Skyhold before, and being in close proximity to Cullen's quarters, as well as the Inquisition's military barracks, she'd been just fine with that. But she had to quietly admit to herself that she was curious. She still wasn't sure what to make of Cassandra. At first she was impressed; Leliana trusted her, at least, and something about the way she stood so tall and proud made Fae's ears a little pink when they first met, something she hoped the Seeker hadn't noticed. But then she found out how Varric had ended up in Haven as well, and that Cassandra had also been on the hunt for her, Hawke and Neria, and Fae had changed her mind.

A thug, then, like that chantry man had said. Like a templar, only that they should have been keeping the templars from becoming the stuff of her nightmares. Seekers. No better at seeking than Fae was at mining lyrium, but Cassandra had been cordial, for the most part. Varric and Cassandra still traded barbs, and Fae stayed out of it, but the barbs had become more teasing than condescending jabs the last couple of months. And now this. Would the Seekers they found be coming to join the Inquisition, like the so-called retired templars, or were they now part of Corypheus' army?

The door to the office was closed. Fae raised a hand to knock, and then she heard her own name mentioned, muffled behind the wood. She stepped closer to the door, quietly, and pressed her ear to it. She could just about hear them; just Cassandra and Ellethir, it sounded like, both speaking in low voices.

"It should only be used on those who cannot control their abilities… but that has not always been the case."

They're talking about Tranquillity. Of course, the Seekers must have known. But they did nothing. Probably even encouraged it, if they're anything like templars. Which they are.

"You mutilated mages. It should be used on no one."

Good to know Ellethir genuinely agrees with me.

"I always thought it a necessary evil."

A necessary evil—?!

"Which is why Fae has kept her distance from you, and the templars. I don't blame her. I respect you, Cassandra, I do, but you must know that beneath her quips, she's scared of you all."

"Ah. I did wonder. I am accustomed to my own reputation being somewhat intimidating, but I was not aware it was for this reason."

"She's a force to be reckoned with when it comes to magic as any of our friends, you've seen it for yourself, but you should have seen her in Redcliffe. I'm certain we're only a few years apart in age, but she was… a lot younger, in that moment."

"And that is why you did not summon her to journey with us to Caer Oswin."

"Where you see the symbol of the Seekers, she sees the Brand of the Tranquil. And she's still grieving the friend she knew."

"Her friend?"

"Orla, the Tranquil mage we've had keeping an eye on her."

"Ah."

"Given recent events, I thought it would be too much. So, this ancient tome- does it confirm that Tranquillity was used for other things?"

"Not quite, but as a Seeker, I had looked into such… abuses. Mages made Tranquil as punishment."

No shit.

Fae skipped knocking and pushed the door open. "And what did you find, Cassandra? The truth that any mage might have told you, if any were willing to risk saying it to your face?"

"Which is…?" Ellethir skipped past the pleasantries, seeing the thunderous glint in Fae's eyes.

"That Tranquillity has always been used for evil, because that's all it can be used for," Fae wanted to glare daggers at Cassandra, but she couldn't bring herself to make eye contact. She stared at the thick tome on the desk instead. "If you're a dangerous mage who can't justify their existence by being useful to the Chantry, you don't even get a swift death. They'll just cut away who you are, and use your body and your mind for their purposes to make pretty runes and potions," she spat. "A mage raped by a templar? She'll never be able to tell anyone, because she's been made Tranquil. A mage used as a punching bag? He won't fight back, because he's Tranquil. Shall I go on?" She slammed her hands on the desk. "You people are sick, Cassandra. It was never necessary. It was always abuse. Is that what you discovered in your investigations?"

"Fae, enough," Ellethir insisted. "We've learned that the Seekers are gone, but they were Cassandra's family—"

"Fuck her family," Fae hissed. "The Seekers existed to keep the templars in check and they failed, Seeker, they've been failing all along while we all died scared, and alone, because their precious Chantry made everyone hate us. What other bullshit is in there that we don't even know about? Slavery? Torture?"

Cassandra's face was stony. "What finally began the mage rebellion."

"…What?"

"What we found in that cave in the Western Approach. It was…legitimate evidence," Cassandra folded her arms. "The discovery that the Rite of Tranquillity could be reversed."

Fae faltered. "But Anders began the mage rebellion. Things were already bad. Divine Justinia was all but planning an Exalted March on Kirkwall even before his attack, Leliana came to Kirkwall to tell us as much. She was trying to convince Revered Mother Elthina to flee to Orlais before she began," she swallowed, mouth dry. "When…when did…?"

"Kirkwall's rebellion stirred unrest across every Circle in Thedas, it is true," Cassandra agreed. "But I have learned that Pharamond- the man we saw mentioned in the papers we found, was a mage commissioned by Divine Justinia herself, to investigate potential alternatives for the Rite of Tranquillity. One that could deny a mage's power without destroying their mind, as well as whether the Rite could be reversed."

"You should sit down, lethallan," Ellethir said, trying to guide Fae, but the Seer stood as if rooted to the spot.

"Pharamond's research proved that the latter at least, was possible, if still imperfect," Cassandra continued. "He and those who had worked with him brought his research to the Divine, and she agreed to the use of this research to begin amending the Circle of Magi's policy. Lord Seeker Lambert allowed for high-ranking mages to convene at the White Spire to discuss the matter, but insisted that Pharamond, in his…uncertain circumstances, be made Tranquil again. Suffice to say, the meeting did not go as planned, and the Lord Seeker attempted to cover it up—harshly. There were deaths."

"Again?" Fae took a deep breath, steadying herself. "…And that's why all those high-ranking mages ended up hiding out at Andoral's Reach."

"Yes. That is where they voted to officially separate the Circle from the Chantry. The templars followed suit, and then we were at war. Pharamond's discovery was dangerous knowledge. The shock of its discovery in addition to what happened in Kirkwall… Lord Seeker Lucius gave me this tome, Faellathi, before I killed him at Caer Oswin. It has been passed down from one Lord Seeker to another for centuries. It appears we've always known how to reverse the rite. From the beginning."

Fae finally collapsed into the chair offered. "It…it was the Seekers? This whole time?" she croaked.

"One more crime to add to the pile, yes," Cassandra said bitterly, pushing the tome away.

"Then, could the rebellion could have been prevented?" Ellethir asked.

"Perhaps, but it was a long time coming, for many reasons. We created the Rite of Tranquillity."

Fae huffed. "Of course you did."

"You asked me about what becoming a Seeker entailed, once, Inquisitor, and I told you of my vigil- the months I spent emptying myself of all emotion? It is because I was made Tranquil, and did not even know. Then the vigil summoned a spirit of faith to touch my mind. That broke the Tranquillity—and gave me my abilities."

"The Chantry used spirits to arm its soldiers, and demons to test its mages," Fae scoffed hollowly. "Figures."

"The Seekers did not share that secret. Not with me, not with the Chantry. Not even with…" Cassandra stood, and moved to the window, looking out to the training yard below. "There's more. Lucius was not wrong about the Order. I thought to rebuild the Seekers once victory was ours. Now I'm not certain it deserves to be rebuilt."

"You said there was more in the book…" Ellethir moved to open the tome, filled to the brim with tiny, detailed writing. Fae simply stared blankly.

"At some point, power becomes its own master," Cassandra said. "We cast aside ideals in favour of expedience and tell ourselves it was all necessary. For the people. Will that happen to our Inquisition? Will we repeat history? I wonder how much we resemble what the Seekers used to be. What they wanted to be."

Ellethir joined Cassandra at the window. "I can't foresee the future, Cassandra."

"But we know the past. Those who do not heed history are doomed to repeat it. And we have no excuse, not with an ally who can see the past firsthand."

Fae's lips quirked upwards just for a moment in recognition, but otherwise didn't move.

"You're a warrior, Cassandra. I don't think I've ever seen you so shaken," Ellethir admitted uneasily.

"I do not think the Seekers have been doing the Maker's work," Cassandra asserted. "Not truly. Perhaps we believed it, once. The original Inquisition came to be during a terrible time. But now? We harboured secrets and let them fester. We acted to survive, but not to serve. That is not the Maker's work."

"You keep saying that, but what is "the Maker's work"?"

"There is no way to know for certain. That is why we must seek it out. Perhaps we lost our way because we stopped looking."

"And if you did rebuild the Seekers? How would you do it?"

"I can't be the only one remaining. We were always spread to the winds, and some may still be out there. I would find them, one by one. We would all read this book–no more secrets. Then together we would establish a new charter. The Maker's work, in truth."

"And your brothers and sisters in the Order that believe you're all already doing the Maker's work?" Fae mumbled. "How do you know none of these hypothetical survivors are part of the corruption you'd be trying to root out?"

"I don't," Cassandra freely admitted. "But it would be a start."

There was a knock at the door. "Inquisitor?"

Ellethir smiled apologetically. "That's our cue."

"Thank you, Inquisitor," Cassandra said before Ellethir made to leave. "I could not have come this far on my own."

Ellethir nodded and exited. Fae stood up, ready to follow.

"Actually, Seer, would you remain a moment?"

Fae said nothing, but she sat back down all the same.

"I feel I owe you an apology."

Fae cocked her head. "For what? The Seekers? The Chantry? Or for your actions, personally? For kidnapping Varric? Or trying to capture me to bait my cousin?"

"I—well, when you put it like that, all of it, I suppose. I will say that many templars did not choose their paths, either. Nor can they leave it behind."

"I know they're addicted to lyrium. I know some of them are given to the Order as children. The future King Alistair among them, once." Fae sighed. "I don't blame every single templar, or Seeker, for a system they didn't create. Only the ones in power who did nothing to change it, even when they could have," Fae stared pointedly. "So, which were you? You were the Right Hand of the Divine, after all."

Cassandra leaned against the side of her desk. "I joined the Order willingly, a long time ago. Unfortunately, my role by the Divine's side complicated things. I was seen as having a foot in both camps; the official Chantry hierarchy, and its sword-arm both; I had the ear of the Divine. I could not use my position to influence opinions one way or another without the assumption that they were not in fact Divine Justinia's words. When it came to it, I left the Seeker Order when they refused to intervene in the Mage-Templar War. But it was far too late."

"And Neria?"

"It is true that when Divine Justinia first proposed we reform the Inquisition, her first candidate for Inquisitor was the Hero of Ferelden. A living legend, who already has leadership experience. But we could not find her. What Grey Wardens we could find either didn't know, or refused to tell us, as was their right. We were looking for you too, but not for the reason Varric assumed," Cassandra rolled her eyes. "The truth, in part, you already know- the Divine was also considering authorising an Exalted March on Kirkwall, especially in the wake of the attack on the chantry, and the Kirkwall Circle's annulment. Leliana already wanted to recruit you for the Inquisition, whether we found the Hero of Ferelden or not, and she regretted not asking you when she had the opportunity. Then we heard news of the annulment, and she was— and I would appreciate it if you did not repeat this to her—beside herself. She felt she'd had the chance to save you and failed. You, and the mages who escaped with you, were unaccounted for, for some time."

Fae nodded slowly, taking everything in. "We had to be."

"I do not dispute that. I am sorry, truly." Cassandra paused, trying to find the right words. "But it would be remiss if me not to tell you the whole truth. This cure for Tranquillity… it seems it is not really a cure, not truly. The connection to the Fade is re-established, and their minds are their own again, but mages who were once Tranquil seem to lose all control over their emotions. They become irrational, unable to focus. Perhaps that state eventually passes and they can be helped, but it will take time to investigate."

Fae stood, and went to the window, looking across the courtyard at the many figures below, but only looking for one. "Would she even want to come back, in this way?" she asked quietly. "Is it selfish of me to want her to, after everything she's been through? She deserved better. She still does."

"I'm sorry, Fae. To her, as well."

"Mages who are truly unable to control their emotions," Fae suddenly put two and two together, looking back at Cassandra. "They could be cured of Tranquillity, only to always be at a higher risk of becoming abominations? How cruel can this world be?"

"I agree. I would not want news of a cure to spread until we know for certain we can help these people. Once we have that, however? Then I will spread the word myself. If I can rebuild the Seekers, undoing the harm we have caused will be our first and only priority."

Fae looked back to the window. "…Good. Apologies are just words," she said hollowly, marching to the door. She hesitated with her hand on the doorknob. "Just help them, please," she added softly, not looking back. Then she left.