Chapter 28: The Shadow over Insumasu
Part 5: Muhrica
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"Wat?", Kojima Konami, the fox girl of the team finally break the silence and asked the real questions here.
Wat?
Nani kore?
"As I said, I am betraying Konoha and would like to join your girls group.", I repeat my previous declaration.
What I assume to be Haku... Holy shit she's pretty as hell, I gotta ship her to Sasuke later, as well as Itachi, no not Uchiha Itachi, its Kama Itachi, can only stare at me in confusion as their best girl, Konami speaks for them.
"Do you even know who we are?"
"Aren't you Zabuza's Angels, the up an incoming idol group now." I dance with what I assume some Kpop dance moves to punctuate my point further. To punctuate my point across even further, I casted 5 clones to serve as my Kpop members, with different cap colors to indicate who's is who. And also a Hanabi cardboard cutout to serve as impromptu heroine.
Then, we (the clones an I) do a full performance of the Kpop song Haru Haru music video performed by the Kpop group Big Bang. Google the damn thing youtube MV video to make this shit even funnier.
"Haru Haru (하루 하루)"
[Tteonaga
Yeah
Finally I realize
That I'm nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah ah ah ahh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Padocheoreom buswojin nae mam
Baramcheoreom heundeullineun nae mam
Yeongicheoreom sarajin nae sarang
Munsincheoreom jiwojijiga anha
Hansumman ttangi kkeojira swijyo
Nae gaseumsogen meonjiman ssahijyo
Say goodbye, yeah
Nega eobsin dan harudo mot salgeotman gatatdeon na
Saenggakgwaneun dareugedo geureokjeoreok honja jal sara
Bogosipdago bulleobwado neon amu daedabeobtjanha
Heotdoen gidae georeobwado ijen soyongeobtjanha
Ne yeope inneun geu sarami mwonji hoksi neol ullijin annneunji
Geudae naega boigin haneunji beolsseo ssak da ijeonneunji
Geokjeongdwae dagagagijocha mareul geol su jocha eobseo aetaeugo
Na hollo gin bameul jisaeujyo subaekbeon jiwonaejyo
Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane
Oh, girl...
I cry, cry
You're my all
Say goodbye
Gireul geotda neowa na uri majuchindahaedo
Mot boncheok hagoseo geudaero gadeongil gajwo
Jakkuman yet saenggagi tteooreumyeon amado
Nado mollae geudael chajagaljido molla
Neon neul geu saramgwa haengbokhage neon neul naega dareun mam an meokge
Neon neul jageun miryeondo an namgekkeum jal jinaejwo na borandeusi
Neon neul jeo haneulgachi hayake tteun gureumgwado gachi saeparake
Neon neul geureoke useojwo amu il eopdeusi
Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane
Nareul tteonaseo mam pyeonhaejigil (nareul itgoseo saragajwo)
Geu nunmureun da mareulteni, yeah (haruharu jinamyeon)
Charari mannaji anhatdeoramyeon deol apeultende, hmm
Yeongwonhi hamkkehajadeon geu yaksok ijen
Chueoge mudeodugil barae baby neol wihae gidohae
Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane
Oh, girl
I cry, cry
You're my all
Say goodbye, bye
Oh, my love
Don't lie, lie
You're my heart
Say goodbye]
As I ended my Kpop performance, I received a single round of applause from Kama Itachi. She's even crying over the sad and tragic reenactment of Haru Haru music video. I dismiss my clones as they're no longer needed.
"Wow, okay... Err... Who are you again?", Konami, ever the most social of the Angels continue to communicate on behalf of her partners.
"Makoto Hotaru. I'm 12 years old."
"Right... First of all, power to you for deserting your village for your err... Performance arts passion. There are worse ways to desert. Second, no, we are not an idol group, whatever that is. We are part of the Anti-Homovore Movement, an NGO chaired by our mentor Momochi Zabuza, The Silent Oni."
"Wow, you are against eating gay people? That is very progressive.", I nod my head in approval.
"No! Homovore means maneater and anti homovore means we are against it! Not that eating gay people is less bad. We mean we are against eating all kinds of people."
"Cool. Sounds lit.", I nod.
"Either way, we are not receiving new member at the moment. Our mission now is to keep outsiders out of this town. Now, if you will be so pleased, we would like you to leave.", Konami finally offer to let me leave.
"Hmm... That's too bad. I really thought l've charmed you girls with my epic musical performance. I even brought a radio and everything."
"Kyaaa! You charmed me alright!", Kama Itachi was swaying left and right, still applauding my performance.
"You have to do better than that if you want to get in, Leaf nin. The performance was great and you have some moves, but you didn't expect that we are dumb enough to let you pass with just that, do you?", Haku finally chimed in
I shrugged. Well, usually this Outstupid Maneuver really works but sometimes they just don't bite.
Without warning, Konami open the fight by snapping her fingers. Sparks of energy jumped from her snaps, and the moment it make contact with the ground I had vacated in a dodge, the spot I used to stand on burst into roaring flame.
Holy fucking shit! Who's your dad?!! Roy Mustang?!! Since when Flame Alchemy is a Kekkei Genkai?!
"Interesting. Did you figure out the nature of my attack in a single glance?", Konami asked as she keeps fingersnapping as I dodged her barrage of AOE flame combustion attack.
"Pro tip, it doesn't matter how harmless does it looks. If you don't know how your opponent power works, just dodge.", I calmly replied as I cartwheeled over 10 of her explosive snaps.
"While I enjoyed your performance before, I afraid I have to ask you to leave," Kama Itachi enter my range and set in an iai stance. "Otherwise, you will be courting death. Tempest Breath, First Form: Sudden Gale."
With a sharp sound, her katana was draw out with lightning speed, courtesy of wind pressure bursting it out like a jet. However, I dodged out of her slash with but a mere breadth of a hair between me and decapitation.
Motherfucker. Tempest Breathing? Dafak is a Kimetsu no Yaiba character doing here? Does the Writer really have no better idea for samurai characters that he just rip off Hamon but Swords?
Fuck it. Time to draw out the big guns.
"Second Amendment no Jutsu"
I call out my twin Desert Eagle from my Storage Watch and pumped Itachi full with rubber bullets.
Itachi flinched away and backed away as the pain of 10 rubber bullets hit her unarmored body.
"Peculiar weapon you have there. How did you make a queer slingshot like that?", Itachi asked as she sheath her sword back in. Fucking katana. Always looks so cool when they sheath the blade in.
"Oh, Naruto Industries is the forefront of many queer Technologies.", I replied as I dodged the combination of Ice and Flame atracks from Haku and Konami.
"Foolish of you to use rubber to shot with, however. Had you used steel, I would had been dead", she set into another iai stance, ready to intercepts me anytime.
"Well, duh.", I got boxed in by 3 ice walls, leaving me with no room for escape. "I loaded rubber bullets precisely to not kill you girls."
"Aww, aren't you a gentleman.", Konami mocked me. "It's a bad place to be one here, however.", Konami raise her hand in fingersnap position, dramatically prolonging her next burn
"Yea, I know.", I raise my arms to surrender.
"We're not letting you go, you know."the sparks between her thumb and middle finger gradually grow more violent by the second. Man, she really building up this one huh? It would be embrassing if I dodge it away, isnt it?
"Hey, did you know about this fancy trick called Kawarimi?", I snapped my finger, and in a burst of Lightning, Makoto Hotaru is gone, and what replaced him as is a small white rat.
"He escaped!", konami exclaimed
"No!", Haku sprinted to the town. "He's heading to Lord Zabuza!"
))))))))))))
"Howdy.", I greet Zabuza, Silent Killing extraordinaire.
"Well this is curious.", Zabuza rubbed his bandaged chin. "I was sure that I instructed my students to not let anyone passed."
I shrugged. "Hey, do you spank your kids butt when they screwed up their job? Coz if you do, I'd like to volunteer for spank duty for your cute fox girl."
Zabuza chuckles darkly. "Funny little guy, aren't you? I can hear your heartbeats, you know? And you have a really hideous unnatural beats to hear. No one's heart beats that uniformly. It's like you can manually control its tempo."
Zabuza draw out a katana from the sheath at his hip.
"Tell you what, kid. If you manage to make me release Kubikiribocho's shikai, I'll consider assigning you to spank duties."
Well shit.
Zabuza really do has a zanpakuto.