True Colors

Garfield had been dreaming about Terra for a while now, ever since he saw her again and tried to help her remember everything. At first they were really bad dreams, like nightmares of her dying, screaming for him to save her while he stood there helplessly. Thanks to Raven, that was over now. But still, nearly every night he would go to sleep and then suddenly she was there looking all vulnerable and sorry and telling him she missed him. He always woke up right before they kissed and while it was a little embarrassing, they really were nice dreams. It all went down a few months ago…

Flashback starts

After she told him things change, his heart broke all over again. He liked her so much, loved her even. She was his first love, his teenage crush, his dream girl. He couldn't accept the fact that she remembered and just didn't want to come back; he needed to believe her memories were really gone. After Tokyo he tried to think of ways to get her memories back. He even read some articles on amnesia – which Raven noticed – but there was nothing on losing memories after being turned into stone and then turned back again. And he didn't even know how she got turned back again.

The more he thought about it the more he knew this was out of his league. The best chance of answers and success was with…well, magic. So he did what he promised he'd never do again. He went into Raven's room when she wasn't there. He wasn't sure what he was looking for but he searched everywhere. He put everything back, obviously. He wasn't trying to get murdered. Starfire did tell him to get out but he just dismissed her saying that Raven gave him permission – so basically, lying. But he told himself it was for a good cause.

Raven's meditation on the roof was suddenly interrupted by a wave of nervousness she recognized as Starfire's. She only opened one eye, because truth be told her best friend was often nervous about something silly and maybe she could finish meditating after all. "Yes?"

"Mmm…friend Raven…there's something that….well…" She struggled with how to tell her friend that Beast Boy was in her room. She had seen him there and she knew for a fact Raven did not give permission. She had to tell her, but she wasn't trying to get him killed.

"What is it?" Raven tried not to sound annoyed, but she failed. It had been a hard week. Trigon was pushing to escape and she had to fight harder to keep him in check. Every now and then this happened, but it was just her lot, so no point in complaining. Still, she was mentally and emotionally exhausted.

"Beast Boy is in your room." Starfire blurted out quickly as if that would somehow soften the blow. "I don't know why, there's probably like a really good reason, but I thought you should know…"

Raven stared blankly at her for a minute, taking in what she'd just heard. Kory grew more concerned as she watched her friend's facial muscles tense up. And then Raven just disappeared into the floor – or in this case, into the roof.

She emerged inside her room nearly giving Beast Boy a heart attack. He had been going through her stuff for a while, picking up artefacts, books and crystals he wouldn't know how to use and getting goosebumps because of the general atmosphere. It was creepy enough to be there without any scares.

"Fuck! Raven!" Garfield jumped with a hand on his chest as he immediately realized he was in danger. His only option now was to act coy, so he chuckled shyly as she just stared at him. She looked deranged. "I uh…hi! This isn't what it looks like, by the way. I was just…"

And then something really weird happened. The entire room felt cold and got even darker. She took one very intense step in his direction. He wasn't actually scared of her most of the time, but at the moment…

"What are you doing?" Raven hissed through clenched teeth.

"I was uh…trying to find some magic manual guide or something that could help me um…with Terra…" His voice got smaller and smaller. He had never seen her this angry at him. He decided it was time to be a coward and tried to turn into a fly and run away, but he couldn't. In fact, he couldn't turn into anything. He was confused and a little desperate and it took him a few seconds to understand she was controlling his powers. Now he was annoyed. "Hey! It's not that big of a deal, there's no need to be a bully about it!"

"I'm the bully?"

Bitterness filled every word that came out of her mouth, but the scariest part was he could tell she was absolutely holding back.

"Oh poor Beast Boy, I won't let him run away. You're the victim, are you? I'm the one who should be nice to you while you pry and sneak where you have no business. It's my room."

"I know, but…"

"It's my room." She raised her voice.

On Raven's standards, she was nearly shouting. But that wasn't the worst part. Her eyes were piercing through him fiercely but there were very visible tears in them being kept from falling.

"It's the one place in this loud, bright, violent world that's mine, the one place where I'm comfortable and safe and you come in here touching and judging and violating everything."

Well shit. Beast Boy gulped and widened his eyes. His breath caught in his throat. When she put it like that, it made him feel awful. He did not think of that at all. But then again, if he was being honest, he didn't really think of Raven at all when he decided to do this.

"Why don't you just lie on the bed? You might as well. Don't mind taking your shoes off." She pulled the covers angrily. "Or maybe you'd like to break something, how about my mirror? You like messing with that, maybe you'd like to take a peek at my mind again." She tossed her meditation mirror at his stomach, making him wince. "Or maybe you'd like to read my journal. You clearly have no respect for anything sacred to me, so why not?" She picked up a small notebook with a dark hard cover and tossed it at his feet. "How you and everyone else think you're the nice one eludes me." Raven stared at him fiercely. She didn't mean to expose herself this much but it was too late now. Just don't cry in front of him.

At this point Garfield was frozen in place and absolutely mortified. He had never seen her like this, and he wasn't sure which was worse, fear of her wrath or fear of having gone too far to be forgiven. She was obviously hurt. He had hurt her. He didn't even know he could do that. His mouth was hanging open helplessly trying to find words to calm her down but nothing came out. He was looking around for an exit desperately, because he was pretty sure if Raven cried in front of him, especially while it was his fault, he would collapse. The tears were still very secure – but very present – inside her eyes. And yet somehow, she was still very intimidating.

"Leave". She spat out the word in what could only be described as disgust.

There was a part of him that didn't want to leave. How could he leave her like that? What kind of coward does that much damage and runs? But he knew trying to explain himself or talk to her right then and there wouldn't help, so he did leave. He left as fast as he could and never meeting her eyes.

Starfire was in the hallway listening to the whole thing to make sure Beast Boy didn't get murdered, so after he ran past her towards the ops room she stood by Raven's door trying to emanate support. Kory noticed her best friend was shaking slightly, so she just waited. After a few seconds and many deep breaths, Raven turned to look at her.

"You can come in, Kor." The empath's voice was but a whisper.

Kory smiled and walked inside. "What do you need?" She asked truthfully. Usually a hug would be the appropriate course of action, but Raven wasn't like most humans. For one thing, she was only half-human.

Raven shrugged then hugged herself as she looked around her room. "You already helped. Thanks, Kor. I think I just need to meditate all over again now, so I guess…please don't let him come in here again? I would prefer meditating on the roof."

"Oh I don't think he'll ever come in here again." Kory couldn't help but chuckled slightly.

Raven however just grunted. "I'm not as sure as you are, but I hope you're right."

As Starfire walked into the ops room, she could see a very distressed Beast Boy sitting on the couch, cradling his head in his hands.

"You should know, I told her you were there." Koriand'r said sadly. "I didn't mean to hurt either of you but I just felt she had the right to know…I hope you don't hate me for it."

The shapeshifter looked up at her and she noticed he had definitely shed some tears. There was no anger on his face though.

"It's not your fault Kory, I shouldn't have done it. I just, I didn't think…" Yeah, basically you didn't think, idiot. "…I didn't think she'd be that…hurt." He whispered looking down at his hands.

Kory sighed and sat down next to him. He did screw up, but it was hard to stay mad at Beast Boy. Robin and Cyborg walked in laughing as they had finished their training session the exact moment she was opening her mouth to say something supportive.

"Jeez, who died?" Cyborg joked when they stood in front of the sad looking pair on the couch.

Both Starfire and Beast Boy looked up at them with sad eyes.

"Oh my God, who died?" Cyborg asked again, but this time for real.

"My friendship with Raven, probably." Beast Boy muttered lamely under his breath.

"Friend Beast Boy went inside Raven's room without the permission. She wasn't very happy about it." Koriand'r explained to Victor and Richard.

"You did what!?" They both said in unison.

"Again, man!?" Cyborg asked incredulously.

"Seriously Beast Boy, can we just have one week where villains are our only trouble? What could have possibly motivated you to such an epically terrible idea?" Robin ran a hand through his face tiredly.

"Doesn't matter, I shouldn't have done it." The shapeshifter looked down shamefully.

Garfield sounded absolutely defeated, but Robin's heart wasn't as soft as Starfire's.

"No shit. You know we're all paying for this mistake, don't you? What if I need you two on a mission, then what? Honestly, do you get a kick out of testing her or something?"

"Dude, chill." Cyborg frowned at Robin, because he noticed his best friend seemed genuinely upset.

"No Cyborg, I won't chill. He needs to grow up." Robin knew he was probably exaggerating a bit. Raven had probably already scolded Beast Boy better than he ever could, but Raven was like a sister to him. He knew that even though Starfire had this amazing bond with her based on mutual acceptance and respect, he was the only one that got slightly closer to understanding her. He wasn't as much of a tortured soul as she was for obvious reasons, but he had been closer to darkness than the others. Richard sighed and rubbed his temples. "What did she do to you?"

"Nothing. She just told me to leave." Garfield answered half-heartedly.

Beast Boy's gaze was fixed on a random spot on the floor, because he didn't really care about Robin's lecture. All he could think about was Raven's disappointed face. He hadn't meant to make her feel like that. But the fact is he didn't care enough to respect her boundaries, and that's why he made her feel like that. What could he say now? She's never gonna forgive you. Ever. He had to think of something to say to soften her. Forget it, you lost her. His thoughts were getting to him and he started breathing heavily again.

"Then why are you so upset?" This time it was Cyborg who asked.

"I…she's like, really mad at me." Garfield got up and started walking to his room. "I just…look, I need to think of what to say to her if she ever speaks to me again, okay? So, I really am so sorry Robin, you're like, right about all of it. I'll try to fix it. I'm sorry."

The three Titans were left alone and Robin nodded at Beast Boy's back before turning to his girlfriend. "Where is she?"

"Meditating on the roof. She'll be fine. And she'll forgive him too. I'm sure of it." Kory tapped on the couch next to her and he collapsed on it, still grumbling. Then she started running her fingers through his hair and he immediately relaxed under her touch.

"You're probably right."

"Yes, probably." Starfire giggled and Robin smiled at her.

Cyborg decided it was time to leave. "Well this is all very adorable but if you don't mind I'll go help grass stain work on his apology."

In Beast Boy's room, the two boys discussed ideas for a while, but Beast Boy didn't seem to think any of them would work. Cyborg joked he should just offer his soul as tribute with her being half-demon and all, but Garfield said she probably wouldn't want it.

"Dude, it'll be fine. You'll just have to grovel for a while, but you'll be bickering at each other again in no time. She'll miss it too. We've all been through too much together for something like this to do permanent damage."

Beast Boy was about to speak when someone knocked on the door. He frowned because he could swear it smelled like Raven, and he could usually tell his teammates scents apart pretty well with his heightened senses. Garfield opened his door with extreme caution, bracing himself for the physical punishment she had obviously forgotten to inflict on him. He inhaled when he saw that it was in fact Raven. She seemed completely recovered from her outburst, her face blank and impossible to read. He waited.

"Can I come in?" Raven said in her monotone, but it sounded sarcastic anyway due to context.

The shapeshifter opened his door wide for her to walk in.

Cyborg gave her a sheepish wave. "Hey Rae. So, um…I think this doesn't concern me, so I'll just…" He began walking to the door but his best friend's eyes begged him to stay and he hesitated. "Uh… should I go?" He asked Raven directly.

"I don't care." She faced Beast Boy. "Why didn't you just ask me?"

"I…huh?" So far this interaction was not going how Garfield imagined it at all. It confused him profoundly.

"Why. Didn't. You. Just. Ask. Me."

Beast Boy didn't like it when she talked to him like he was stupid. In fact, it really hurt. But he figured under the current circumstances he didn't have the right to make this about him. "Ask you…to go inside your room? I…I thought you'd say no. But look, Raven, I'm really sorry." He tried to look as pitiful as he could. "I don't really have an excuse. I'm a jerk. I'm so sorry. I really didn't think it would make you feel lik-"

"No. Why didn't you ask me to help you look for something magical to get Terra's memories back?"

She seemed completely unfazed by his lame apology, but she didn't seem mad anymore either, which he was grateful for. He never wanted to see her like that again.

"I…well, I guess…you didn't really like her…" Garfield said quietly. Yes, Raven had tried to help when Terra was turned to stone. But that was different. That was just what any good person with magical skills would do. But now Terra was alive and well. In many ways, she was fine. This was about getting her back; getting her home. He didn't think Raven wanted that.

Raven showed no reaction other than rolling her shoulders back one time and averting her gave ever so slightly and Beast Boy couldn't help but think of how cool she was. He would like to be that in control just once. It must be nice.

"You should have asked me. It's not like I haven't noticed you've been reading about it."

"What!?" Garfield was genuinely shocked. "When…how…"

"Oh, please. You're not exactly subtle. You start reading out of nowhere and when you get distracted or bored you just leave your stuff around the tower. You left an article in the bathroom. One would have to be stupid not to notice."

Now it was Cyborg's turn to feel bad, because he hadn't noticed any of this. Was he stupid or inattentive? But then again, he didn't think the others noticed either. Maybe Raven was just more observant. Robin probably would have noticed, but he had been understandably distracted with Starfire since they got together.

"Oh…" Beast Boy wasn't sure what to say. He didn't really want to talk about the Terra thing at the moment. He still wanted to get her back, obviously, but he wanted to be forgiven first.

"Anyway, when I did notice I did my own research and I think I might know how it happened. How she was turned back. And maybe, possibly, if she wants to...how to get her memory back."

Beast Boy blinked and stared at her wide eyed with his mouth hanging open in absolute shock and confusion. Cyborg mimicked his expression, being almost as shocked as him.

"I didn't tell you before because I wasn't sure. I'm still not entirely sure, and I wanted to be. But the point is, you should have just asked me instead of stealthily invading my privacy."

It took him a few seconds to remember how to speak. Raven waited, because she knew this would be a lot to process. Beast Boy's mind was all over the place. Raven knew how to help Terra? He was scared to believe it. Maybe this is punishment. Maybe she's lying to get my hopes up and then smash them. Maybe…no. Raven would never be that cruel.

"…are you serious?" Garfield felt tears in his eyes again. How you and everyone else think you're the nice one eludes me, her words echoed in his mind and cut him like a knife.

Cyborg was happy to get all the tea first hand and was almost as shocked and hopeful as his green friend. He was also quite certain Raven wasn't doing any murdering tonight. However, for some unknown reason this felt like a very private conversation and he was getting a bit uncomfortable. He got up and headed towards the door. "If you two don't mind I'll go fill Mr. and Mrs. Smith in on all of this."

Raven didn't look at him. She kept staring at Beast Boy and folded her arms. "I'm always serious."

Oh my God. Beast Boy launched at her and hugged her tightly, disregarding the sensible part of his brain that warned him to still be cautious. She simply phased through him and he fell to the floor. Oh no. This isn't good. His heart sank. Garfield had noticed that through the entire conversation there wasn't the slightest hint of warmth in her eyes. If she didn't forgive him, the fact she just offered to help made him feel so much worse. He thought about staying on his knees and just begging, but then he thought that would probably just annoy her. But what else could he do? He needed her to like him again. Or at least tolerate him. He hadn't stood up yet and several seconds had passed. Let's go with begging. He sat on his ankles and looked up at her. "Do…you forgive me?"

Her arms were still folded over her chest, but it almost seemed like now she was hugging herself. Her expression remained stoic as ever as she looked down at him. "Of course not. But I'll help your girlfriend. Obviously. I'm not the monster you think I am."

Ouch. "No Raven you have to forgive me, please." He gripped her cape and his voice got squeaky. "I mean you don't have to because you don't have to do anything but please do, I feel so bad, I swear I'll never do it again…"

Raven grunted under her breath. She wasn't expecting him to beg for forgiveness and she wasn't quite prepared for it. She knew he cared about her but she figured at the news of Terra he would just forget all about apologizing, and she had decided to stay on good terms with him but definitely not forgive him. She had decided on staying distant. Raven was confident it was the best thing to do because she did not want to feel that hurt ever again. But…Azar herself couldn't have prepared her for the pitiful sight in front of her. Regret, sorrow and guilt were pouring out of him freely, and she felt deeply uneasy.

"Ugh, fine." The empath frowned. "Just…stop. I'll forgive you if you stop this nonsense."

Garfield smiled up at her with hopeful eyes. "Really? You don't hate me anymore?"

"Sure, just get up and stop acting ridiculous. You're making me uncomfortable."

Beast Boy jumped to his feet and grinned brightly. "Thankou! I'm sorry I thought I couldn't just ask you, I was obviously wrong. And thanks for helping me. You have no idea what this means to me. Or maybe you do..." He chuckled awkwardly. "But anyway, thanks! You're awesome."

Raven rolled her eyes. Yeah, that's me. Awesome. Great, even my thoughts are sarcastic now. "Don't mention it." She said as she floated out.

Wait. That didn't sound right. She's still hurt. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he knew. It was subtle, but he heard sadness in her voice. "I'll make it up to you! I'll uh…I'll...well I'll find a way to make it up to you."

Raven frowned at the stupid gigantic grin he offered her. Usually, it comforted her. But she wasn't feeling it at the moment. "Please don't. Let's just go talk to the others so I can tell you what I found out."

Garfield wasn't going to say no to that. He was eager to know. But he was not giving up. He had absolutely decided to make it up to her. He wanted, no, he needed her to like him again. "Okay!"

Back in the ops room, four Titans were now sitting on the couch and Raven was standing in front of them. It was late and everyone was tired, but this couldn't wait.

"So…you know how Terra got turned back?" Robin broke the silence.

"I think so."

Everyone waited for a while but she seemed lost in thought now so Cyborg decided to bring her back to the land of the living. "So then…how was it?"

"I think…I think it was me." Raven said quietly.

There was absolute silence for several seconds while they waited for her to elaborate.

Robin's brilliant mind worked fast. "Wait…of course it was." He looked at her with wide eyes.

"Do either of you smart people mind telling us what you mean?!" Cyborg was growing impatient.

Raven glanced at Beast Boy quickly. All she sensed from him was confusion. He was too confused to feel anything else. "Well…remember when my fath…when Trigon's curse turned everyone into stone?"

They all nodded.

"…and then when I reversed it and made everyone turn back?" Raven asked slowly.

Now they were getting it. Starfire started to look radiant and Cyborg just looked shocked. Beast Boy looked like his brain hurt with the mind-blowing news – because it did.

"You mean when you turned everyone back you accidentally turned Terra back too?" Cyborg stated the obvious.

Raven felt really offended by the use of the word accidentally. Why does everyone think I hate Terra? "Well, I certainly wouldn't put it like that. When I turned everyone back I unknowingly turned her back too."

Cyborg got the hint. He offered her an apologetic smile and she relaxed and softened her face.

"Is that possible? Does it add up?" Robin was over his shock already since he understood it before everyone else.

"From my research, yes, it's possible. And in this case, it's likely." Raven said blankly.

"You're awfully quiet." Starfire said to Beast Boy, turning everyone's attention to him.

"You…that…" Garfield stammered, looking up at the empath.

"I didn't know." Raven put her hands up in the air defensively before anyone could accuse her of keeping this information to herself all this time.

No one was going to.

"No, I know. It's just...that's so..." Beast Boy's brain was getting there. "So…" His grin began to grow. "Soooo freaking awesome!"

Raven exhaled. "Right. Um, and anyway, if it was me, then I might have…well, in this case, the word is accidentally…blocked some of her memories."

Robin nodded as if that was obvious. Starfire raised an eyebrow. Cyborg frowned in thought.

Beast Boy stood up. "Well, but if you did that…then…then maybe you can undo it!"

Garfield was way too excited for Raven's taste. This is why I didn't tell him sooner. "Maybe, but I'm still not sure…"

"Sure you can, you're so freaking bad ass! You beat the devil, you totally got this!" The shapeshifter was jumping around like a kid on Christmas.

"I…again, technically not the devil…" Raven tried not to worry about how much this high opinion of her would change if she failed. "But anyway, she might not want me to…"

"Sure she'll want you to! I mean, I'll convince her. She'll want you to." He said confidently.

Garfield's hopeful eyes met Raven's blank ones and she sighed. "Well, if she does, then I'll try."

"THANKOU Rae!" Beast Boy fought back the urge to hug her again, but he was beaming.

"It's Raven." She frowned and folded her arms again.

"Sorry! I'll go find her NOW and-"

"Beast Boy, it's two in the morning. You'll do no such thing." Robin felt he should be the voice of reason once again.

"Oh…right." Garfield laughed sheepishly. As everyone went to sleep that night, he couldn't stop thinking of two things: first, he was getting his dream girl back. And second, now he really needed to make it up to Raven.

The next morning, Beast Boy got up much earlier than usual. He had thought about it and he needed to talk to Raven before he talked to Terra. If she was the one who was doing this, it needed to happen in her own time. Maybe she had to prepare or something. He wasn't trying to add one more inconsiderate thing to the list of reasons Raven could hate him for. She was still the only one in the ops room that morning, silently staring out at the bay. Robin was probably up too, but still doing morning push-ups in his room.

"Morning, Beast Boy." Raven didn't turn around to address him. "I need more time to prepare. I don't want to cause her any brain damage." She had decided to tell him bluntly before he went to fetch Terra before breakfast or something.

Garfield froze. Fuck, why did she have to beat me to it?! "Morning, Raven. Sorry I got so carried away yesterday. And, you know…for everything else too. But I was just gonna say you should take as long as you need."

She nodded slowly still staring out the window.

Garfield was about to go make some vegan breakfast for himself when her voice made him stop.

"I did like her."

There was something different about her tone. It wasn't a whisper. It wasn't shy or even quiet, but it was…soft. It was much softer than her usual tone. There was a vulnerability to it.

"…what?" Beast Boy wasn't sure if he heard her right and he needed to be sure.

Raven turned around to face him. Her face was stoic, but…sad. "Terra. You said I didn't like her. I did like her."

He just stared at her intently. He wasn't going to risk ruining a Raven-opening-up moment with his unreliable mouth.

"I know she hurt you the most, but…she hurt me too. That's why I got angry. When I didn't want to give her a second chance, it wasn't because I didn't like her." Raven shrugged slightly. "It was the opposite."

Garfield swallowed and stayed silent. It was a really beautiful moment and he didn't trust himself enough to join in. He felt like there was no way she would be saying any of this if he was actively participating in the conversation, and he really wanted her to keep talking. Well you're gonna have to say something eventually, genius.

"To be honest…I was angrier at myself than at her." Raven shrugged again.

That did it.

"What?" Garfield frowned in confusion. "Why were you angry at you?"

She looked at him as if that was the stupidest question in the world. "I'm an empath, you know."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

"But...you did sense it. When she came back with her powers under control, you knew something was wrong. You warned us."

"And then I ignored what I knew because…" Raven stopped before she embarrassed herself.

"Because what? Why did you ignore it?" Beast Boy was genuinely interested; they had never talked about this.

"Forget it, it's embarrassing and last night had enough drama for a month on my book." She went to the kitchen and started making her tea.

Robin came in before Beast Boy could press her any further and the conversation shifted to theories about whatever the next big menace in town would be. Then Cyborg and Starfire came in and it shifted to weekend plans. Since neither Beast Boy nor Raven brought up Terra, the others assumed they already talked about it. Robin knew Raven would tell him before they actually did anything, so he didn't need to ask. Beast Boy was talkative as usual but he kept glancing at Raven and he noticed she was actively avoiding his gaze.

Garfield approached her later while she was reading a book on the couch. Cyborg was out and Kory and Dick were having a make out session somewhere, so it was just them again. "Hey Raven…are you busy? Can I sit here?"

"Yes I am and technically you can sit wherever you want. I'm not the boss of you." She said without removing her gaze from the pages.

He scratched the back of his neck. She still sounded a bit upset with him. The room thing did some serious damage. Thankfully, he had thought of a good way to apologize. At least he thought so. Well, he hoped so. He was better off not thinking too much about it or he would get in his own head. Beast Boy sat down next to her and started humming to some video game tune. It was irritating enough to make her look up slowly.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, good. So, remember how I said I would make it up to you?"

Not this again. Raven rolled her eyes. She wasn't completely over him invading her privacy and disrespecting her most important rule yet, but she would be in time. He had no patience what so ever. "How could I forget? Do you remember me specifically telling you not to?"

"Barely. So, anyway, I got you something!" Beast Boy's toothy grin widened.

Raven sighed. She found the whole thing aggravating. Not because of his intent, which was sweet, but because there was no way he had gotten her something she would actually like. He probably got her something he would like, like a ticket to karaoke night or a new video game or a tofu burger or a megaphone or something. Still, he was trying to be nice to her. He was trying really hard; he just wasn't good at it. She was slightly amused though, so Raven put her book down to give him attention.

"Are you giving me time? Or space?" Oh how nice that would be.

"Nope!" Don't stop smiling, it's gonna work.

"Fine, let's get this over with. What is it?"

The shapeshifter ran out and came back moments later with something that seemed rather big and green behind his back.

Raven frowned. "What on Azar…"

"Tah-dah!" Beast Boy pulled a big green plush sea turtle from behind his back. It was the size of her torso and utterly adorable. It had these big, sleepy eyes and a tiny smile.

She gasped a little. Did he know she liked turtles? How did he know that? "You got me a…?"

Garfield thought he saw a glint in her eyes but he was nervous he was imagining it. "Ah…yeah, I figured, you know…you're a little like a turtle."

She knew exactly what he meant but she raised an eyebrow to force an explanation out of him anyway.

"Err you know! Because they need their shell, because it's like, part of their spine, and they need their spine. If you break their shell you can do some serious damage." Then Beast Boy looked down regretfully. "I think I broke your shell a bit yesterday…I'm sorry."

Well…that was kind of adorable. Raven had a hard time admitting it to herself but he actually warmed her heart and healed her open wound pretty efficiently there. Not that she would ever get caught saying that out loud.

Garfield thought he saw a tiny smile on her lips, but he wasn't the best at reading her. At least she seems amused. "So…do you like it? Because if you don't I can totally get you something else…"

"Don't you dare." The empath quickly reached out and took the turtle from him.

And then much to his surprise, she held it tightly to her chest.

"I like it. I'm just surprised." Raven explained calmly. That was the thing about Beast Boy. He would be obnoxious and invasive for days, but when he was sweet, he was really sweet.

Garfield felt so happy he could squeal. He didn't think he would be this relieved to earn affection from her again. It made him want to do more. "Do you wanna watch something? I'll watch whatever you want. Maybe something dark and twisted?"

"Just pick some interesting documentary on animals, and then we can both enjoy it."

His face lit up. "Wow that's a great idea!" She's so smart.

They watched TV for a while and Raven held onto her sea turtle the whole time, which did not go unnoticed. Beast Boy had never been more proud of a gift. They made a few comments on what they were watching, Beast Boy offering some personal insight on the animals in question and Raven being all knowledgeable on the subject as she is in most subjects.

"How do you know about this stuff?"

"I read."

"Huh. Interesting."

"It usually is, yes."

Beast Boy waited for the documentary to end and then turned to her again. He hadn't forgotten their conversation from earlier. "So, why did you ignore your instincts, or even your powers, when it came to Terra?"

Raven exhaled and leaned her head back on the couch to stare at the ceiling. Of course he wouldn't let this go.

"Because…" She entertained the idea of not answering, but his present had softened her up. "I don't know, because she was nice." She shrugged. "I guess I believed her because I wanted to believe her. Besides, you all liked her so much. I mean, you loved her. So I guess I thought if I was against her I'd end up being the one to go."

Garfield frowned. That was not what he'd expected to hear. "Wait, that's not-"

"It's fine, Garfield. I know." She shot him a reassuring look to let him know he didn't need to make her feel better about this.

Beast Boy smiled at her. He decided he liked her using his real name, it made him feel like they were really close. But then right when everything felt right again, she lowered her gaze sadly.

"I'll fix it, you know. Or I'll die trying."

"Well there's no need for that, so please don't die trying." Garfield chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm sorry I pressed you yesterday, you brought her back already which is more than amazing. I didn't mean to make you feel like it's your obligati-"

"It's not that." She interrupted him. "I do feel like that, but it's not because of yesterday."

"You do? But then…why would you feel that way?" Beast Boy asked her with curious, but friendly eyes.

"I want to save her, you know. Ever since it happened. I keep thinking I should have stayed behind to stop the volcano instead of her. I probably could. I definitely could. I should have. And I didn't. So don't worry; I'm committed now."

Wait. She thinks what?! "Wait. You think what?!"

"Oh, you heard me." Raven rolled her eyes. Why this constant need to have me repeat myself all the time?

"But why would you think you should have stayed behind instead of her? You could have died." He was beyond confused.

"Well, yeah. And then Trigon would never ascend, and she'd be a Titan and you'd probably be married by now based on how impulsive you both are."

Beast Boy could not believe what he was hearing. He thought she didn't care that much about Terra. Obviously, he knew she would help bring her back if she could, because Raven was a good person. But he didn't think she'd want her to get her memories back and possibly return to the tower. Now she was talking about sacrificing herself so that Terra could have lived? "I just…I don't know what to say. I got it all wrong."

"Shocking." Raven said sarcastically.

"Hey! In my defense, you're like, really difficult to read." He flailed his arms around. "But you're wrong for once. She stayed because it was her mess. As much as it hurt me, she was right for wanting to be the one to fix it."

"She's human, Garfield." Raven looked at him pointedly. "All human. And I'm…I can't live a normal life. She could. She can. It should have been an obvious choice. Things would have been better. And just so you know I am sorry. But I'll fix it if I can."

Garfield's eyes widened and he felt his chest hurt. What's even going on right now? He was the self-loathing king in this tower, not her. He didn't like this one bit. Did he make her feel this way? He searched his memory for any stupid thing he might have said that could make her feel like he thought she should have stopped that volcano. He was relieved he didn't find any. What should I say? I need to say something. And then he did what he always did.

"Aren't you going a little too far with the tortured soul bit?" He made a stupid joke.

Raven stared at him blankly for a second and then much to his relief and surprise, she chuckled. It was a small, subtle chuckle, but it was there, clear as day. He laughed with her.

"That did sound mopey." She agreed.

As much as he liked to joke, Beast Boy did feel he needed to address this properly.

"Raven you should not have stayed behind in her place. That is crazy talking. Don't get me wrong, losing her broke me, but her choices led up to it. You didn't do anything wrong. You shouldn't sacrifice yourself just because your dad is mayor of hellville or whatever. That makes no sense. And how would things have been better if instead of losing her we would have just lost you instead?"

She wasn't surprised he was saying any of this, but she was surprised he seemed to mean every word. Raven bit her lip. She'd need to meditate for hours later. "I just thought…it would have been an easier grief."

For some reason that made him a little mad at her. Probably because he didn't like it one bit when anyone other than him had anything bad to say about Raven. It took him a second to realize defending Raven to Raven would have been a waste of energy. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but he didn't want to lie to her. So he stopped and thought about it. Garfield frowned as he focused on really imagining what it would have been like if he'd lost Raven instead of Terra that day.

"No, it wouldn't." He told her truthfully and surely, while looking into her eyes.

Raven's eyebrows shot up as her eyes widened in shock, but only for a second. If he hadn't been staring into them he would have missed it for sure.

"I hate that you've felt this way all this time. See this is why you need to communicate more." Garfield gestured between them as if encouraging her to open up more.

She rolled her eyes and grunted faking annoyance, but the truth was she felt light and fuzzy. This had been a bit of a burden on her for a while now. And if Beast Boy of all people didn't hold it against her, then maybe she shouldn't either. "I communicate fine."

The shapeshifter stared at her quizzically and she couldn't help but smile a little. Then he laughed whole-heartedly.

Beast Boy couldn't stop smiling for some reason. "Maybe we should all have like weekly group therapy where we just express ourselves freely and tell each other our deepest, dark-"

"I'm going to stop you right there because that sounds like torture."

"Own c'mon Rae pleeeease?" He leaned back on the couch and turned his head to stare at her pleadingly. "You have such nice and beautiful feelings I'd never even know about!"

"Don't go getting all sentimental on me now." The empath shook her shoulders slightly as if to shake off all the tacky soppiness of the entire interaction. "There's absolutely no need for that. I'll get you your girlfriend back and then you two can express as much as you want. Far, far away from me."

Beast Boy beamed at her and she just rolled her eyes again. She lost count of how many times she rolled her eyes since the day before.

"Hey Rae, I noticed something. You're okay with me calling you Rae now, right?"

"Only when you've earned it."

"Okay, RaeRae."

"Don't push it." She winced at the ridiculousness of it all.

Garfield just widened his grin even more.

"You're insufferable." Raven pointed out stoically.

Flashback ends

A lot more went down with Terra and Raven after that until Beast Boy found himself being attracted to Raven for the first time in his life. Terra did have her memory back by now, Beast Boy was not her boyfriend and he wasn't exactly over her, because he still dreamed about her every other night. On this particularly strange night as he fell asleep on the couch, his dreams began in a very familiar way. He was on his bed, and apparently much taller now, and Terra was slowly crawling towards him.

But then suddenly everything went dark. He couldn't see a thing, but he knew she was gone somehow. "What the…"

Then a voice sounded in the darkness. It did not belong to Terra, but it was right in front of him, where she had been. "Don't be afraid." It was sultry, low, and it sent shivers down his spine. It was…

The lights were on again and Raven was on all fours in front of him, on his bed, wearing only her leotard and looking up at him in a way that was as menacing as it was seductive. She crawled up to him and sat on his lap. He held his breath the entire time. She cupped his face in her hands and he gulped.

"R-Raven? What are you…"

"Shhhh." She put a finger on his lips to silence him. Then she ran her fingers through his hair and pushed his head back dominantly.

He was very confused but also very aroused. His heart started pounding wildly.

"Don't you think it's time you start dreaming of someone else?" She whispered sensually before leaning in to kiss him.

And then Beast Boy woke up startled and sweaty on the ops room couch, panting heavily. "Oh no. God no no please no."

True Colors (Cyndi Lauper)