Thank you Spider-Menace76 for your reviews! :)
And yesss there's a more obvious Michelangelo reference in another chapter haha
Fix You
Raven had resumed helping whichever way she could. Cyborg showed her how to use the computer so she could help during missions, she did research with Nightwing every day and she learned how to cook, because she just needed to feel useful. She had been meditating with Starfire and Terra on a daily basis, which turned out to be really helpful for sorting out her memories. Some of her wounds were almost healed and some of the bruises were beginning to fade. Some scars never would heal without the aid of magic, but still, she felt better. If only the nightmares would stop. She didn't trust herself to handle her powers when she woke up terrified and screaming every night. Who knows what kind of havoc they would manifest?
Right now she was snuggled against Beast Boy's chest on the couch, reading everything she could find on Darkseid. She was also painfully aware they would have to address this situation between them at some point. She did remember he'd called her love and kissed her when he saved her, but that was understandable. But he'd been sleeping in her bed every night and she did kiss him that one time when he flirted with her. It was agony not having her empathic abilities to know what his expectations were. She knew as soon as she got her powers back all their problems would come rushing back and this intimacy would become a hazard again, which is why she was refraining from letting it get too far.
Well, she was trying to.
It was difficult when he nuzzled the back of her neck like this. "Gar…" She giggled.
He inhaled deeply against her skin. "Mmm you smell so good."
"Stop it." The sorcerer whispered playfully.
"I love it when you wear your hair like this." The shapeshifter meant her practical ponytail. "It makes your neck all naked. And your ears. They're all cute." He gently kissed her ears.
Raven moaned quietly. What happened to not letting it get too far? Compose yourself. "We're not dating, you know?"
"I know."
"You act as if you don't."
"Well, I'll take what I can." Beast Boy kept teasing the back of her neck with tiny kisses.
She shivered and giggled again. "Stop it, that tickles."
Garfield chuckled and hugged her body from behind, being careful not to hurt her. "I like when you wear it down too. You have such pretty hair. It goes down in purple waves."
Raven rolled her eyes. Her hair was chest-length now and Beast Boy did seem to enjoy playing with it a lot. "Maybe I'll cut it again."
"Okay. I liked it short too." He planted a quick kiss on her left shoulder.
The empath closed her book. "So, how do I put you off?"
"Impossible."
I've been relying on him too much. He thinks we're dating. She sighed and moved to get out of his embrace.
"Don't go." Beast Boy pouted.
"Gar…"
"I know you're using me." He said bluntly. Raven looked outraged and about to protest, so he spoke again before she could. "And I'm okay with it."
The sorcerer stared at him speechlessly for a few seconds. "I…what?"
"I know you've been close to me because I make you feel better, which I'm happy about. But like, don't worry; I know it doesn't mean you're totally into me or my girlfriend or anything. I know what this is. And I'm okay with it." He said calmly, as if he had rehearsed it a thousand times – because he had, at least in his head.
Raven frowned and wondered what on Earth, Azarath and Hell she ever did to deserve him. "Gar, that's not-"
The trouble alarm went off and everyone came rushing into the ops room. Damian was in his Robin uniform and it suited him perfectly after he made a few style adaptations. Richard was in his new black and blue uniform. Starfire loved it.
"It's Slade. And Blackfire." Nightwing said.
Garfield looked at Raven with wide eyes.
"Go." The empath gave him a reassuring smile. "Just…be careful."
"I don't have to." Beast Boy told her truthfully.
Raven could tell he wanted to go. He hadn't gone on a mission since they rescued her and he had bloodthirst for Slade and Blackfire right now.
"I'm fine, seriously. You should go. They might need you. Go."
Beast Boy was so grateful he instinctively leaned in to kiss her, but he stopped in time and then kissed her forehead instead. "This won't take too long."
Once Garfield left excitedly with the others, Raven decided to take advantage of the unusual silence to meditate. She wasn't sure how long it had been when she heard it. Windows crashing. And then she felt it. Glass on her skin, giving her fresh cuts. It all happened so fast. When she opened her eyes, Adonis was there in beast form, in the ops room, growling at her. Well, fuck. Raven rose to her feet and ignored the burst of pain the sudden movement sent through her body. She stumbled backwards to get out of his reach and pulled out her communicator, but he wasn't worried. He knew there was nothing she could do.
Adonis took human form again and jumped in front of her, slapping it out of her grasp and spraining her wrist in the process. "So it is true, you really haven't removed those things." He glanced at the artefacts on her wrists. "I wonder why. Did we fuck you up too bad? Smart move from your team leaving you here alone and powerless in this giant T-Shaped tower, by the way. This will be so easy."
Actually, he's right. That was stupid of us. Raven glared at him to hide her fear. "I guess I thought you all got the message and got over me."
"Not exactly. Darkseid seems to think enslaving you isn't worth the risk anymore."
"At least he finally understood that." The empath desperately searched her brain for what to do. I'm not getting killed by this loser, not today. Think, Raven.
"Yes but now he just wants you dead so you don't interfere."
"I see. Well, he's probably scared of Trigon. You should be too."
"Maybe. But since you still have those on I don't really need to be afraid at all, do I? I have you completely and deliciously helpless." He smiled at her in the most repulsive way. "So tell me, what do you think will hurt your pathetic shapeshifter more? If I strangle you or bite you and watch you bleed to death?"
Raven could walk without help now, but she still couldn't run. And even if she could, she couldn't outrun him. She eyed her communicator on the floor and took a few careful steps back. "I think…he's going to kill you. Probably slowly. And painfully."
Adonis laughed. "You know, if you'd just chosen me over him you wouldn't be in this situation."
I know what to do. She frowned and faked innocence while she took slow backwards steps towards the kitchen. "What are you talking about? I don't remember making that choice."
"Of course you remember. Back when we first fought for you."
"Oh? That's not how I remember it. You…you were trying to kill me, not woo me."
"I was trying to steal you. I was only going to kill you if you didn't submit to me." He held his wicked, hungry smile at her.
Raven widened her eyes. "Oh! Well…I didn't know that. That changes everything."
"Does it?"
He kept walking slowly towards her but Raven noticed he seemed to be enjoying the cat and mouse – more like a crippled mouse in this case – game a bit too much for his own good.
"Of course." She said sensually. "I mean, why would I ever prefer him over you? He's a kid. If only I'd known I had the option to be with a real man."
Raven stepped inside the kitchen. She kept her gaze as seductive as possible while she secretly grabbed a big knife behind her back. This plan made her cringe internally, but it was all she had right now. It was working too. He was absolutely distracted by her praise.
"Tell me more about that." Adonis said, practically beaming.
"Mmm…well, you're so…handsome." Kill me now. "And mighty. And smart." The sorcerer grabbed the kitchen lighter and swiftly put it in her pocket.
He swelled with pride. "Yes, yes I am. I suppose you regret being too stupid to come after me back then?"
"So much. I was so dumb." Now she was just being openly sarcastic. She knew he couldn't tell anyway. "Think maybe you could forgive me?"
"Oh I wish I could accept you now, I really do. Believe me. But you see, sadly it's too late now." Adonis shot her a hungry grin and moved menacingly towards her again.
Raven eyed the bottle of cooking wine on the corner. "Don't say that, we can work this out."
"This is a hunt, Raven. And I'm the predator. Guess who you are?"
He changed to his beast form and charged at her, destroying the kitchen counter entirely. Raven dodged as soon as he jumped and quickly stabbed his neck, her heart pounding in her chest. She hurriedly grabbed the wine while he screamed and roared and she stumbled out of the kitchen. This is so fucking hard without powers.
Adonis was back to his human form so his armor could heal his wounded neck. "You BITCH!"
She stumbled as fast as she could towards her communicator while taking a huge gulp of the wine and keeping it inside her mouth. She knew that knife wouldn't kill him. She was nearly there when he jumped in front of her, once again as a beast, making her fall backwards. He roared ferociously in her face, but she knew what to do. Raven held the lighter in front of her and turned it on while she spat as hard as she could. The alcohol turned into flames and set him on fire. She rolled over to where her communicator was lying on the floor and grabbed it. Adonis was roaring loudly and jumping everywhere, trying to put out the fire.
"ANYONE. I need help NOW. ADONIS is here." The empath spoke into her communicator. She didn't wait for a reply before stumbling over to the corridor to find somewhere to hide.
It all happened within minutes. Raven could hear him from her hideout, dangerously crashing down the walls looking for her. She held a knife she'd hastily taken from Damian's room on the way, but there wasn't much she could do with it. He was angrier than ever and she knew she couldn't prolong this unfair match for too long. She tried to ignore the pieces of glass still lodged inside her skin, how her sore body ached with the sudden physical effort and the sharp pain from her sprained wrist.
"I can smell you…" He chanted dangerously. "You know, your beast can check the security footage later to watch me kill you..."
He'd found her. He had a little difficulty pulling her out of the small cabinet in the training room, but eventually he managed to grab her hair and drag her out. He lifted her body and threw her on the wall. Raven fell hard on the floor and nearly fainted. Her entire body froze and burned with pain. She tried to move. She tried desperately. Her body simply wasn't responding anymore. She pitifully tried to crawl away, but he put a foot over her leg.
"Where are you going, prey?" He mocked before forcing his foot down and breaking her leg.
Raven screamed loudly. I can't believe I'm dying like this. Maybe when he kills me if I'm close enough I can stab him between the eyes and take him with me. She held onto Damian's knife and turned around to glare at him.
"Fuck you, Adonis." She spat out defiantly, noticing with some satisfaction that his face was badly burned.
He hated that. Adonis changed into a beast again and growled at her. Then he went for the kill. Raven's muscles all tensed up at once, but he never reached her. A larger beast had attacked him from the side, throwing him to the other side of the room. A green beast. Beast Boy's Beast.
Raven was so relieved she nearly fainted again. She tried to catch her breath while the Werebeast stood in front of her protectively, roaring dangerously low at the other beast, who had recovered and was growling right back. And then they fought. It was a hundred times worse than their fight from years ago. It was raw, violent, wild and nearly impossible to watch – but she watched intently anyway. Beast Boy was larger, but Adonis's beast had obviously been jacked up with every enhancement drug he could get his hands on.
Several things flashed through Garfield's mind as he fought his nemesis. Adonis' hand around his neck, the way he lost control when he drugged him, the first time he fought against him to protect her. Nicholas Galtry came to mind. Everyone who ever oppressed him came to mind. His parents dying. Feeling powerless. Feeling weak. But that was then, and this is now. Raven chained up to the ceiling, tortured and confused. Raven crying. He wasn't weak or powerless now. No more. He wasn't a kid anymore. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man. Her words echoed in his head. No, he wasn't a kid anymore. He was a man.
Adonis never stood a chance. He was thrown from side to side by the green Beast and when he finally didn't get up, Beast Boy's powerful bite caused him to whimper in pain. Garfield could take a whole lot. He could forgive a whole lot. But he had seen her on the floor and he'd seen Adonis charge at her. He tried to kill her. Another second and he would have killed her. This he would not forgive. There would be no mercy this time. He had pushed him too far. Raven started sitting up slowly while grabbing her broken leg and watching them with wide eyes.
Adonis turned human again and stumbled backwards, falling helplessly to the floor. He was dead already. His armor couldn't heal Beast Boy's bite fast enough and the blood loss would take him soon. But that would have been too peaceful. He wouldn't get to go like that. Garfield turned human as well, but he didn't look less scary. It all happened really fast. He kept his eyes on Adonis and decisively walked towards him until he was hovering over him, than he kneeled over the villain's body and punched him hard on the face. And then he punched him again.
Adonis realized Beast Boy's eyes were pure rage. "No, no, wait, please! You can't-"
"Shut up." Beast Boy spat out before punching him again. "What made you think you could touch her!?" He threw punch after punch after punch. Adonis winced and grunted in pain with each one. He would never get to touch her again.
And then Adonis fell silent.
Lifeless. He was gone.
Beast Boy panted heavily over his body for a few seconds before pulling out his communicator to tell everyone that things were handled. He didn't want anyone walking in here right now. Then he stood up and turned to her and his entire body language and expression shifted completely. He ran over to her side and kneeled down next to her with tears in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry I left, I'm so sorry…tell me where he hurt you." He whispered as he grabbed her face in his bloody hands to inspect it for injuries. "You're bleeding…"
Raven was staring at him with the widest eyes she'd ever had on her face. She stuttered some gibberish at first and then cleared her throat to try again. "Did…did you just kill him?"
He quickly glanced at Adonis' lifeless body then turned to her again with eyes that begged for mercy. "Yes. Do you hate me?"
"Of course not." She whispered, still shocked. "I just…are you okay?" She placed a hand on his cheek.
He closed his eyes and melted under her touch. "I'm okay as long as you don't hate me."
A strangled sob escaped her lips and she pulled him close, hugging him tightly. He gratefully hugged her back, being careful not to injure her further.
"I could never hate you." The empath whispered in his ear. "I'm so glad you're here."
He cried into her shoulder. "I thought…oh, God…I came as fast as I could. I was so scared. I thought I would lose you. And then I…I saw him over you…"
Raven stroked his hair soothingly. "He was going to kill me. Do you understand? You saved my life. I'm just worried about you."
Beast Boy felt his heart swell with relief at her words. "I don't feel as bad as I should. Does that make me a monster?"
"I'm not the right person to ask. I don't feel as bad as I should either." She whispered. "If I'm being completely honest…"
"What?" He pulled back to look at her.
"While I do think we shouldn't kill people…if I'm being completely honest, after what I went through in their hands and what he did to me now…I don't feel bad at all."
She decided not to tell him, but a small part of her was morbidly turned on. Not by the killing, but just by him. Raven usually wasn't into anything cliché, but watching him burst in and destroy Adonis like that to protect her was…interestingly different. Raven really liked sweet, caring and lovable Beast Boy. But she certainly didn't mind this more dangerous Beast Boy. Maybe this is what he meant when he said he likes all versions of me.
Garfield smiled through the tears. Thank God, because I don't either. Maybe he would feel bad later, but right now all that mattered to him was her. He inspected her cuts more closely and his smile faded away. "Is that broken glass?"
"Yes." She grunted. "It's still Raven hunting season, I guess."
The self-loathing started consuming him. "I can't believe I let you get hurt again."
"Don't you dare hate yourself for this. Look at me." The empath said firmly.
He did look at her. Her expression was impossible to read.
Just reward him. He deserves it. She braced herself for the tackiness of what she was about to do. Raven inhaled. "My hero."
She said it while rolling her eyes playfully, but she meant it. Beast Boy felt such a deliciously cheesy tug at his heartstrings that he immediately beamed at her in spite of the tragic circumstances. She called me her hero. That just happened. It totally happened. Maybe I do have a chance. Maybe I can woo her if I just-
"Okay, chill." Raven said when she saw how flushed his face was.
The shapeshifter chuckled and forced himself down from cloud nine. "We need to get you to the infirmary, babe. Cy's gotta remove that glass."
He went to pick her up, but she stopped him with a hand to his chest.
"First of all, you can't pick me up today. My leg is broken." Raven waited for concern and anger to cross his face, then glared slightly. "Second of all, I'm letting it slide this once because of the gallant rescuing and all, but… babe? I am Trigon's offspring and the destroyer of worlds. I am not a babe."
Garfield gulped playfully and his heart soared realizing she was getting her confidence back. He smiled cheekily. "I'm so sorry, my dark queen. It won't happen again."
"Good." The empath said smugly. "Also, Adonis was absolutely yours, but don't kill Blackfire or Slade. Komand'r is Starfire's and…I have plans for Slade."
Beast Boy nodded. "Whatever it is, can I watch?"
"Certainly. If you promise you won't be afraid of me afterwards."
"Never." The shapeshifter smiled at her.
Then he sniffed and heard their other friends. Apparently their fight was over too. A few seconds later, Raven started hearing their voices as well.
"Are they okay!?"
"Where are they!?"
"What happened!?"
"We're here!" The empath shouted.
The other Titans had a burst of mixed emotions and reactions when they found them: relief for finding them both alive, concern for Raven's state and regret for leaving her alone, hurried explanations as to why they couldn't make it and which villain held them back, and finally horror for the fact there was a corpse in the room.
"I'm sorry!" Beast Boy frowned. "Actually that's a lie, I'm not really sorry…he was going to kill her. I…I lost it."
"Watch the footage before you scold him." Raven said plainly, looking up at the others.
"I wasn't going to scold him. I was going to say well done!" The young Robin folded his arms.
"Damian…we don't kill…" Richard said warningly, earning a grumble from his brother. "But…I'm not scolding anyone right now. What do you two need?"
"I have a broken leg and glass under my skin. So…probably the infirmary." Raven said.
"I got you." Cyborg quickly walked towards her. Then he stopped and grimaced. "Ah…after we wash your face."
Beast Boy had gotten Adonis' blood all over her face by touching it; it looked a little scary.
"I'll come with!" Garfield stated.
"It will take a while, BB. Let me work on it without the pressure of you watching it over my shoulder, okay?" Victor put his hand on his green friend's shoulder.
Beast Boy's face fell slightly. "Okay…"
"Besides we need you here to decide what to do about…that." Richard pointed at Adonis.
Raven and Cyborg came back a few hours later. She was in a wheelchair, her cuts were clean and there was a casket on her left leg and bandages on her right wrist.
"Oh, finally! We were so worried!" Starfire exclaimed.
Beast Boy almost ran to her, but he managed to control himself. After the babe incident he didn't want to seem too clingy.
"I'm okay. What did you do about…you know?" Raven asked.
"You were right. Since Adonis was about to murder you it's justifiable homicide." Nightwing stated. "The security footage was enough to prove it."
Raven nodded. "Did you all watch?"
Beast Boy was still tense. He'd seen red and gotten worked up several times watching it, and he only relaxed or exhaled at all at the end. After seeing what Adonis had done to her, he really didn't feel bad. "We did."
"So uh…there were other villains involved today. We actually did capture someone. Well, Jinx did. Not Slade or Blackfire, unfortunately. But…" Terra bit her lip.
Raven looked at her and realized she was holding back laughter.
"We've been trying to interrogate him, but he keeps asking about you." Damian raised an eyebrow at Raven.
"Don't tell me." Raven let out a frustrated sigh. "I can't deal with Klarion right now."
"I know Rae, but he might know something." Terra shrugged apologetically. "And Jinx cast some magical misfortune trap on him but it only lasts for like another hour or so."
The empath grunted and rolled her eyes. "Fine. Bring him in."
"On it." Damian was already leaving.
Robin came back with a cuffed and grumpy Klarion.
The Witch Boy gasped at Raven's state. "What happened to you?!"
"Your friends tortured me for months and then one of them tried to kill me today." Raven said blankly. "I suppose I have you to thank for that. I mean, these?" She showed the artefacts on her arms. "Very effective."
The warlock looked a little guilty. "I…I didn't know they were going to do that. No one said anything to me about killing you! They said they would capture you again and let me…I mean…they lied to me."
"Shocking." The empath raised an eyebrow.
"Why are you wearing them though? Can't your friends remove them?" Klarion seemed confused.
Raven folded her arms. "It's none of your business and yes, they can and they will. But first, you're going to tell us everything you know about Darkseid and you better tell us something useful."
The Witch Boy looked away. "Ah…yeah…you see…I can't do that, love."
Raven hardened her face. "Robin, hit him."
Damian gladly threw a punch and Klarion winced in pain before grumbling something about his rights.
"He's going to do that every time you call me that. Got it?" The empath said pointedly. "Now, I assume the reason you don't want to tell us is you're afraid of Darkseid."
"Well, there's no shame in that. Everyone is afraid. Besides, if I'm on his side, I can try to get a good deal for you, lo-" Klarion glanced at Damian's wicked grin and stopped talking.
"No, there's no shame in that. But you forgot about one thing. Let's watch something together, yes? Cy? I believe you haven't seen the security footage yet. Do you mind?" Raven said calmly.
Victor nodded. "Sure. Why are we-"
"He'll see." Raven said, still glaring at Klarion.
Cyborg played the video on the huge TV from the moment Adonis crashed the windows.
I have you completely and deliciously helpless…so tell me, what do you think will hurt your pathetic shapeshifter more? If I strangle you or bite you and watch you bleed to death?
Klarion glanced at Beast Boy in shock. "You!?" Then he glanced at Raven. "HIM!?"
Raven nodded at Damian, who punched the warlock again. The Witch Boy huffed, but stayed silent.
I think…he's going to kill you. Probably slowly and painfully.
Beast Boy and Raven exchanged an awkward look.
Damian smirked. "Spoiler alert."
When Klarion frowned questioningly at him, Robin just punched him again.
"Hey, stop that!" The warlock grunted.
"Shhh." Cyborg shushed them. "This shit is intense."
Beast Boy indiscreetly moved to sit next to Raven's wheelchair because that eased the anger rising in his chest as he watched this repulsive scene again. When the fake flirting began, Raven cringed internally.
"Man only someone that narcissistic and stupid would buy this act." Cyborg chuckled.
Everyone else laughed with him, even Klarion. Garfield tried to laugh too, but there was an irrational side of him that didn't like it when Raven called him a kid. She's just fooling him; it's not how she feels. Don't be insane.
When she stabbed and burned Adonis, most of them cheered. Nightwing just nodded approvingly. And now Klarion was starting to worry.
Beast Boy on the other hand just leaned in to whisper in Raven's ear. "By the way, thank you so much for being so smart and staying alive until I got there."
"You are very welcome." Raven whispered back smugly before raising her voice again. "Cy, pause it."
When the video stopped, the empath glared fiercely at Klarion. "You see, I did that to him in my weakest state." She spoke every word slow and menacingly, and then she raised her arms to show the bracelets again. "What do you think I'll do to the person responsible for my suffering when I finally take these off?"
The warlock gulped.
"I have been burned, cut open, whipped, branded, starved, torn apart and then put back together and I am sick of it." Raven continued with so much fire it almost sounded like growling. "I have been pushed beyond the limits of my kindness and I am angry, Klarion. So you see, the next person who irritates me, crosses me or abuses my good will might just suffer a fate that will make death seem like a sweet dream."
Klarion held his breath. He wasn't the only one.
"I am out of patience and I am out of mercy. Darkseid is not the one you should fear right now."
"I-I…" The Witch Boy looked around for help, but he obviously didn't find it.
"And in the unlikely possibility I feel sorry for you and you manage to escape my rage, let's watch the rest so you can have some idea of what he will do to you." Raven continued, pointing at Beast Boy, who immediately straightened up.
Klarion stared at the shapeshifter skeptically while Cyborg silently pressed play.
I can smell you…You know, your beast can check the security footage later to watch me kill you...
Beast Boy clenched his jaw and his fists. Raven noticed.
Where are you going, prey?When he broke her leg and she screamed, Garfield almost rose to his feet. The only reason he didn't was because Raven had anticipated it and held his hand before he could, immediately soothing his wrath.
Fuck you, Adonis.
They cheered when the Werebeast attacked, but they also flinched repeatedly at the violent battle, even though most of them had already watched it. Only Raven, Beast Boy and Damian remained unfazed.
No, no, wait, please! You can't-"
Shut up. What made you think you could touch her!?Garfield didn't flinch, but he looked away slightly at that part. Raven held his hand tighter. Once Adonis was dead, he finally relaxed and she let go of him and told Cyborg to stop the video. The empath turned her attention to the warlock, who looked paler than ever and was avoiding Beast Boy's gaze at all costs.
Raven raised an eyebrow. "You see Klarion, this isn't the Justice League. And we're pissed. You are not safe. So, is there something you want to say to me or should we hold an even bigger and very personal grudge against you?"
"Radion. All New Gods are vulnerable to Radion and so is he." The Witch Boy said quickly.
Maybe Darkseid would kill him fast, which he didn't think he could say about Raven and this surprisingly violent green guy. The truth was, ever since his familiar Teekl left him, Klarion had been a bit of a mess.
"We know that much, Bitch Boy. Where can we find it?" The young Robin hissed, threatening another punch.
"I…I don't know! I swear."
Raven calmly examined her fingernails. "Then you're useless to me and I might just let Garfield here devour you or create an eternal torment curse just for y-"
"They said there's Radion on Earth and that it needs to be guarded so no one uses it against him, but they didn't tell me where it is! I swear! Only like a few people know!" Klarion said desperately.
That piqued Raven's interest and she glared at him. "Does Slade know?"
"Yes."
The empath smiled sweetly, but it looked scary. "Okay. Thank you, Klarion."
"Are we done with him?" Damian raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, we're done. He can go back to villain jail or whatever." Raven said coldly.
"No, they're breaking everyone out. Kid Flash will take him to Washington. Zatanna will take care of him." Dick said as Robin walked out with the warlock.
Once they were gone, Koriand'r turned to Raven. "Rae, why did you ask him if Slade knowns?"
"I have plans for Deathstroke." The sorcerer said sinisterly.
"…care to elaborate?" Cyborg pressed.
Raven remained silent.
Terra frowned. "Does it involve company?"
"You should definitely watch, yes." The empath said quietly.
Raven looked a little too serious and a little too distracted, so Nightwing decided to change the subject.
"So…Beast Boy." Dick said, getting full attention from the green Titan. "It's okay. What you did. I mean, it's not okay…but, I understand. To be honest, I have no idea what I'd do if someone did that to Kory."
Raven shot Nightwing a warning glare that he immediately understood before Garfield could even process the leader's words.
"I mean, not that it's the same!" Richard corrected himself in a nervous, high-pitched voice. "You know, cause…Kory and I are…you know. And you're not…exactly…what…I mean, what…what are you?" He turned to Raven for help.
The empath just grunted and buried her face in her hand, forgetting she was wounded for a second until it made her wince in pain and frustration. Every. Fucking. Time.
"Dude. You can't just ask people to define their relationship on the spot like that!" Cyborg chuckled. "Makes things awkward, you know?"
Terra and Kory giggled while Beast Boy stuttered incomprehensible gibberish and Nightwing frowned apologetically at Raven, who was staring blankly at the ceiling.
When Damian came back, he smirked. "Why is everyone blushing and stuff?"
"Forget that. Is Klarion dealt with?" Nightwing asked seriously.
"Yeah, yeah, he's gone. Though I think he's more into you than ever now, Doomsday." The young Robin chuckled.
Before the others could even chuckle along with him, Raven suddenly grunted loudly – a bit too loudly for her – and got off the wheelchair angrily, deliberately dropping it in the process before leaning on the couch for support. Everyone stared at her wide-eyed in shock. Regarding Raven, it was a complete outburst.
"What is wrong with these people and what is wrong with me!?" She said exasperatedly.
They all just blinked silently at her.
"I am so tired of the kidnappings…" Raven hopped and leaned on every surface she could find on her way to what was left of the kitchen, ignoring everyone's attempts to stop her and the pain it caused. "And the lame attempts to subdue me and the stupid enslavement rituals…" She started making tea in the hastiest possible way, tossing stuff around the kitchen. "And the sexual innuendos and the hungry stares…" She turned around with the mug in her hands. "Why does every evil weirdo in town have a sick, creepy fetish on me!?"
Her friends were definitely struggling not to laugh.
Raven rolled her eyes and shrugged dismissively. "Go on, laugh at my disgrace."
They did laugh. It was a warm, friendly laughter though, so she just huffed and sipped her tea. In reality, Beast Boy was just chuckling at her cute annoyance, but he knew exactly what she was talking about and it troubled him profoundly too.
"I'm serious. It's alarming and it makes me feel absolutely disgusted with myself." Raven pointed out.
That quickly killed the laughter in the room. And it made Garfield's chest ache.
Nightwing frowned. "C'mon Rae I'm sure that's not-"
"Klarion. Adonis. Slade. Even Kory's sister was getting all weird torturing me." Raven said pointedly.
Starfire gasped in outrage. "She what!?"
"She licked blood off my face." The empath said blankly, making her alien friend grimace.
"No actually you're right, Rae." Terra pondered. "There is a pattern. I guess it makes sense though, you're demonic legacy, right?"
Raven rolled her eyes and looked away grumpily. "Right."
"But why would that make you feel disgusted with yourself? It's not like you're encouraging it." Terra said softly.
"Well I must be. I mean, somehow, right? It must say something about me that these creeps keep targeting me and everyone who wants a piece of me is a crazy psycho." Raven finished then leaned against the wall to sigh and drink her tea.
"Not everyone." Beast Boy accidentally said out loud.
Every head turned to him and he felt his cheeks burn.
"Right, um." Raven cleared her throat. Her cheeks were just as flushed as Beast Boy's. "Everyone apart from one unexplainable exception."
Garfield was just about to protest and say that his feelings were very much explainable, but Cyborg spoke first.
"Two with Aqualad." The half-robot chuckled.
"That doesn't count. That was nothing." Raven stated plainly, unknowingly sending Beast Boy to cloud nine. "It's just…honestly, I know I'm creepy myself but how unhinged do I have to be for these people to take one look at me and-"
"Enough! I will not have this." Starfire said loudly, because she had simply heard enough. "You are in no way responsible or to blame for the creepy feelings of the psycho weirdos. You are dark and untamable and they will target you and lust after you and yes, try to dominate you because that is their nature, but it says nothing about you. You are good, and kind, and brave, and my best friend. I will hear no more of this. Period."
Beast Boy felt absolutely grateful for Starfire's eloquence, because he couldn't have said it better himself.
Raven stared at her alien friend with wide eyes and feeling absolutely touched. She looked around to see her favorite people in the world smiling approvingly at Starfire's words. Well, if they feel this way it must be true. "I…" She gave Kory a small genuine smile. "Yes, mam."
Koriand'r smiled back and then stood up and walked up to her, thinking sadly of how much the incessant torture affected her usually confident friend. "You are loved. And in this tower, you are loved in the way that you deserve. Okay?"
Raven's eyes welled up, but she didn't allow the tears to fall. She was feeling more like herself again. She nodded and then cleared her throat, put her mug down and tucked her hair behind her ears. "Right. Thank you. You're right, of course. And…I'm terribly sorry for venting, everyone. I know that was very uncomfortable. It won't happen again."
Nightwing smiled widely. Oh, she's almost back.
That night, Raven lay down with her head on Beast Boy's chest, which he immediately puffed as he tried to relax at the same time. Sure, he'd had his arms around her a lot lately, but she had never done this.
The empath sighed softly. "Why are you nervous?"
"What? Who says I'm nervous?" Garfield tried to sound as cool and nonchalant as he could.
"Your heartbeat." She chuckled against his chest as she heard his extremely accelerated heart.
His face contorted in embarrassment. "Riiight."
Raven lifted her head to look at him. "Are you sure you're okay? You took a life today."
Beast Boy played with her hair and watched her intently. "I will be. I'm a little scared of me, but…"
"Don't be. I'm not."
He smiled peacefully. "Well, I did save your life, so that helps."
"You'll never let me forget it, will you?"
"It's your own fault for calling me your hero."
She rolled her eyes and laid her head on his chest again. "As long as it helps you remember you're a good person."
"It does. And I'm not as scared of darkness as I used to be. Mine or anyone else's." Beast Boy rubbed soothing circles on her back with his fingers.
Raven smiled cozily at that. "I see."
"Besides, now I'm not going to Heaven either, so I can be with you when we die." The shapeshifter whispered. "So at least that's settled."
Her heart ached terribly at that, both because it showed how much he cared and because the idea of him not getting the best possible afterlife treatment was appalling to her. "I'm sure that's not true. You did it to save me. I hope you'll go somewhere peaceful."
"I was really scared to lose you today." Garfield said lazily. He meant it too; he was terrified when he got her message. "I don't think I've ever run that fast."
"I was really scared to die." Raven murmured back. "I don't like the prey role. I need to step out of it. You know that, right?"
"Of course. You seem to be getting your mojo back. I'm so happy about that."
The sorcerer sighed contently and began drifting off to sleep. "Isn't your heart going to slow down?" She chuckled lazily. "Is there something wrong?"
"I'm just nervous, like you said."
"Why?"
"I'm always nervous around you."
Raven was glad he couldn't see her blushing. "How very exhausting."
That night she had no nightmares, so she told Beast Boy she wanted to try sleeping alone. He did his best to be happy about it, because he'd known this was coming and it was a good thing. But his bed felt so cold without her. Raven missed the warmth too, but she was more used to giving things up. She held onto her plush turtle and thought about everything she'd learned about herself. She thought about Beast Boy's tender touch and protective attitude, Starfire's amazing words and all her friends' care for her.
She thought about how much she endured. She thought about the unfair circumstances of her capture and the nightmare she went through without bending. She thought about the fact it had only been about two weeks since she was rescued and most people would take years to heal their minds from this. She thought about burning Adonis' smug face with nothing but wit and courage. And she fell into a peaceful sleep.
The next day, Beast Boy was making her some morning tea in what was left of their kitchen when Raven suddenly stepped into the ops room using crutches. She greeted everyone in her usual contained manner.
"Rae, I was going to take it to you." Garfield said, rushing to her side.
The empath took the mug and sipped it gratefully before whispering to him. "We need to talk."
That's never good. Beast Boy smiled worriedly at her. "Er…okay. Sure."
Raven handed him the mug so she could use the crutches again and went to his room.
Why are we going to MY room? Beast Boy followed her with a terrible feeling in his gut. "Hey Rae don't you prefer the wheelch-"
"No."
Once they were inside, she settled on a chair and he sat down on the bottom bed.
"Are you breaking up with me?" Garfield joked awkwardly.
Raven just blinked at him with a blank expression on her face.
His heart sank. "Oh…you are breaking up with me."
The empath frowned. "I can't break up with you, Beast Boy. We're not together."
Oh. That's what it feels like to crash and burn. All the power he'd felt before suddenly deserted him. He felt like a little boy getting his heart broken by the girl he likes for the first time and he knew he looked like one too.
Raven saw the sadness in his eyes. "Sorry." She said quickly. "I'm not here to hurt you."
He just looked away and tried to swallow the tears. Don't cry in front of her. Not now.
"Gar, look at me." She said softly. When he didn't, she just sighed. "Okay, fine then just listen to me. Everything that happened…it's made me realize two things. The first is harder to talk about. It concerns this…whatever this is with us. But we do need to talk about it."
"Okay." Garfield muttered, still looking away.
Raven inhaled and softened her voice even more. "…you know I care about you, right?"
He bit his lip and finally looked at her. "I…I do know that."
"And I…well, I admit this…" She gestured between the two of them. "This exists. I mean, it made no sense to me at first, but…it's there. It's real."
The shapeshifter's eyes sparkled with hope and he beamed at her. "It is real! I've never felt like this bef-"
"Please, wait. Let me finish." Raven said seriously, making him hold his breath. "I feel for you. Okay?"
Beast Boy wanted to stay hopeful, he really did, but she sounded so sad.
"But…it's no good, Gar. We need to stop."
His heart tightened and filled with bitterness. "So we are not together but you are breaking up with me. What's that about?"
Raven sighed. "Don't make this harder on me by pretending you don't know what I'm talking about."
"Well I've been making things easier on you for a while now so I think I have credit." He immediately regretted saying it, but it was too late.
That cut her deep. The empath glared at him. "Fine, hurt me. Be immature."
Garfield stood up and started pacing desperately. What am I doing!? This isn't how I planned to react to this! "Well maybe I'm being immature because the second you feel better I'm disposable and not good enough for you anymore!"
"That's not fair." Raven's glare intensified.
Beast Boy grunted loudly. "Ugh, I know!" He sat on his bed again and cradled his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm reacting this way."
That softened her up. "Listen, I want to thank you for being the one unexplainable exception." She smiled a little. "I'll always know someone nice and good felt that way about me at some point and that means a lot to me." She waited for him to look up, but he just grumbled gibberish against his hands. "Gar…you can do better than me."
Now he did look up at her. "No, I can't. No one can. Because there is no such thing." Beast Boy forgot caution and kneeled in front of her chair, holding it in place and leaning on her with pleading eyes. "I want you. I want you so much." He said passionately.
Fuck, what is he doing? Raven inhaled sharply and looked away from him. "See, this is what I'm talking about. Why do you have to make this so difficult for me?"
"Because if you're trying to end this of course I want to make it difficult, I want to make it impossible." Garfield sweetly kissed her thigh on the leg that wasn't broken.
Raven quivered with pleasure, but then she put her hands on him to push him away lightly. "Garfield, stop."
"But why!? You like me too, I know you do! We don't have to do anything we could just try t-"
"Because it almost got me killed!" Raven suddenly blurted out.
He froze.
She took a deep breath to calm down. "It almost got us both killed. I didn't even sense Slade. I didn't even remember to use my powers to find you at first; I just started running like some horror flick high-schooler. Friendship might make me stronger, but this…this is distracting. It messes up my powers. I'm not blaming you, I swear, I'm blaming me. I can't handle this. I shouldn't have let it get this far, I'm so sorry about that, it's just…it felt nice and I was selfish."
Garfield's heart dropped because he started to understand this was worse than he thought. This wasn't her denying she had feelings for him. This was her admitting to it, but telling him why she won't act on them. This was sensible and wise and he couldn't argue with this. He looked down and fought back tears because she didn't deserve to feel guilty about this.
"You need to help me." Raven whispered. "I can't be the only one setting boundaries anymore. It's not fair. If I hurt someone because of these feelings, I'm the one everyone will hate."
Beast Boy looked up at her. "What are you asking of me?"
"I want you to – no, I need you to cut it out. I hope you'll still be my friend, but you need to stop flirting with me and touching me in a non-friendly way." She looked into his eyes. "Please."
That's it. That's the end of this. Beast Boy was trapped in her eyes again and while he lingered there he decided he could do this. After losing her for eight months and then almost losing her for good a few days ago, going without flirting and touching didn't seem that bad. She was here, she was alive and she was his friend. The fact that she was still so badly wounded really helped him put things into perspective too.
"Okay."
Raven's eyes widened slightly in surprise and then they narrowed. "Really?"
"If that's what you need, then that's what I'll do." He said truthfully.
She smiled, feeling unbelievably and infinitely grateful for him.
"Under one condition." Beast Boy suddenly added.
Raven rolled her eyes. There it is. "What?"
Garfield grinned cheekily. "Tell me you're asking this of me because you find me absolutely impossible to resist."
She scoffed. "I will do no such thing."
"C'mon can't you give me at least that?" He looked up at her with wide childish eyes.
Raven watched him intently. He really was kind of impossible to resist. She sighed loudly. "I find you…" His eyes glistened and she frowned slightly. "…very difficult to refuse. Okay?"
Beast Boy beamed. "Close enough!"
She shook her head fondly. "Okay, good. Because I need to talk to you about the second thing I found out."
Garfield started getting up, but she gently pushed him back down again.
"Actually, stay there. This is fast."
"Okay…" He looked up at her quizzically.
"I'm not helpless. I've never been helpless. I never will be helpless." She said pointedly.
Beast Boy nodded slowly. "I know."
"Yes, you told me that, but I didn't believe it. I believe it now."
"Oh." The shapeshifter smiled genuinely at her. "Good."
"I'm not having nightmares and I know who I am. I'm also more than ready for payback time."
Garfield's smile grew wider and wider as he understood what she meant. "Rae, if you're saying what I think you're saying, we should go tell everyone in the ops ro-"
"Later." She said pointedly. "You see, as the one who pulled me out of Hell and saved me in many different ways over the last few days..." Raven stretched out her arms. "I was hoping you'd be the one to remove these?" She leaned in closer to whisper the next part. "Give me my strength back, Gar."
He actually had to fight back a squeal. He stared at her with so much affection she almost felt hugged. It was a really intimate moment, as he gently ran his fingers over the artefacts on her wrists, examining them, then looked up at her and removed them while looking into her eyes.
Garfield stood up to watch in awe as her entire body was involved in white magical glow and a broken casket fell on the floor as she floated into a Lotus stance. Every wound, every scar and every bruise healed perfectly as if they were never even there and her uniform was magically conjured on her body. Beast Boy almost cried with relief.
Raven lowered herself to the floor and smiled at him. "Thank you. I feel much better."
Beast Boy finally gave her that stupid, gigantic, carefree grin she missed so much.
And then he raised an eyebrow at something. "That's new."
"Do you like it?"
"Yeah, actually." The shapeshifter blushed a little. He wanted to say she looked sexy, but he did just commit to not flirting with her.
Meanwhile in the ops room, Damian had been tossing tiny paper balls at Dick while he tried to kiss his girlfriend on the couch.
"I said cut it out, dude!" Richard exclaimed as yet another paper ball hit his face.
Kory giggled and Damian faked innocence. Terra and Cyborg were fixing up Adonis' damages to the ops room because it was their turn and chuckled light-heartedly. Dick went back to his much deserved break making out with Starfire. Damian made another paper ball and showed it to Cyborg and Terra, who suffocated their laughter. He aimed, he shot and…it stopped midair, involved by dark energy. Damian, Terra and Cyborg all gasped loudly, pulling Dick and Kory out of their trance, but the tiny paper ball had already fallen to the floor.
"What? What is it?" Nightwing asked the others.
They weren't entirely sure of what they'd witnessed. But then the enormous hole on the window became perfectly filled with dark energy before it turned into glass, making the window whole again. This time they all saw it. They turned around with giant grins and hopeful eyes and sure enough, she was there. All healed and smug and in uniform. Except it looked a little different. Her leotard under her cloak had black and dark-purple metal parts over it now in a way that made it look like…well, an armor.
"If you don't mind, I'll fix the rest of this mess later." Raven said playfully.
There was a burst of emotion and happy cheering and she even let them hug her while Beast Boy sheepishly walked into the ops room as well.
"All right, all right. That's quite enough." Raven phased out of the group hug then acknowledged the one other person who wasn't a hugger. "Robin."
Damian gave her a sincere smile. "Glad you're back, Doomsday. You look badass."
Raven brought one hand up to the side of her face and looked at it as it became encased in a mystical ball of iridescent energy. The magical glow reflected on her eyes and her lips curved up in a subtle, confident smile. "It's good to be back."
And just in time for Halloween too.
Sorry to leave you with a bit of a cliffhanger, but I'll be surfing all weekend. I'll be back next week :)
Fix You (Coldplay)